After Dark - Overcoming Domestic Violence

Krysta met her ex-husband when she was 15 and married him at 17 as he joined the military. Over eight years together, frequent moves and long absences left her isolated, and the relationship became emotionally, verbally and sexually abusive.

In this episode she talks about the red flags she later recognised, how isolation and control crept in, and how a family advocacy program and a victim advocate helped her leave and fly with her children to her sibling’s home. She explains why sexual assault within a marriage is still assault, and why she shares her story to give hope to others in military relationships, after her ex-husband was held accountable. Krysta’s mantra through healing has been to feel your feelings but not live in them. She urges anyone in an abusive relationship to forgive themselves and make a safety plan, and reminds survivors that healthy, loving relationships are possible after abuse.

In this episode, I had the chance to talk with Krysta about her personal experience with domestic violence. Throughout this discussion, Krysta share's what the healing process has been like since leaving the relationship and has some inspiring advice for other survivors of domestic violence.

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To donate and support the After Dark podcast, please visit https://afterdarkpodcast.com/donate

Amy met her ex-husband at a time when she was heartbroken and low in self-worth, and he swept her off her feet. After he moved the family interstate, away from her family and friends, the abuse began, and over five years it grew worse, especially once she became pregnant.

In this episode she talks about the moment a psychologist told her that what she was experiencing was domestic violence, how she left, and how the abuse continued for years after separation through stalking, harassment and drawn-out family court proceedings, until a lifelong intervention order was put in place. She shares how inner child work and self-development transformed her healing, leading her to become a domestic violence survivor mentor, write her book My Life on Eggshells and speak about coercive control. Amy’s advice is to trust your intuition, talk to someone or seek professional help, and look for the green flags of a healthy relationship, not just the red ones.

If you'd like to learn more about the work that Amy has been doing or to see if you might like to work together, you can follow her on her Instagram account @thefreedommentorah

In this episode, I had the chance to speak with Amy and hear about her own personal experience with domestic violence. Since leaving the abusive relationship, Amy has dedicated her life to helping other survivors that have also experienced domestic violence.

If you'd like to learn more about the work that Amy has been doing or to see if you might like to work together, you can follow her on her Instagram account @thefreedommentorah

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To donate and support the After Dark podcast, please visit https://afterdarkpodcast.com/donate

Georgia was in her early twenties when she met her ex-partner on a dating app. Within months the relationship became controlling and violent, and much of it played out during Australia’s strict COVID-19 lockdowns, which made getting away even harder.

In this episode she talks about the constant contact that wore her down, being cut off from her family and friends, and talking her way through a lockdown checkpoint to get away, only to be drawn back in. She explains how police involvement and an intervention order finally put a wedge between them, and why she went ahead with charges so another woman might be protected. Georgia also shares how she has healed by taking responsibility only for what was hers, asks partners of survivors to be patient and not blame themselves, and reminds anyone in an abusive relationship that no one hates you, and that involving the authorities can help break the cycle.

Penny was a headstrong 17-year-old, just back from an exchange year overseas, when she met a charming boy at a party. Over almost seven years, his jealousy and mind games turned into physical violence, and she became, in her words, a shell of herself.

In this episode she talks about how subtle the abuse was at first, the gaslighting that left her doubting herself, and the night her family witnessed the violence and she knew she could no longer keep it a secret. She shares how volunteering in Nepal, friends, meditation and psychological support helped her slowly put herself back together, and how she now has a loving husband, two children and a life she describes as calm and stable. Penny’s message for anyone in an abusive relationship is to trust your instincts, know that life can get better, and let go of the shame: it didn’t happen because you were stupid or naive.

In this episode, I had the chance to speak with Penny as she shared her personal experience with domestic violence. It was inspiring to hear how much better Penny's life is doing since leaving the abusive relationship.

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To donate and support the After Dark podcast, please visit https://afterdarkpodcast.com/donate

Michaela grew up in a loving, religious home and was working full-time as an EMT when she met her ex-husband. What began as jealousy and constant calls while she was at work escalated after their marriage into isolation, threats and physical violence.

In this episode she talks about the warning signs she chose to ignore, how fear for her animals and her unborn child pushed her to leave when she was 13 weeks pregnant, and the night her parents dropped everything to help her get out. She shares what healing has looked like since, including therapy, living with PTSD and attending domestic violence calls in her work. Michaela asks partners of survivors to be patient and kind, and urges anyone in an abusive relationship to tell someone they trust before they leave. She closes with words from a late friend: in the relationship you are a victim, the day you leave you become a survivor, and when you share your story you become a warrior.

In this episode, I had the chance to speak with Michaela as she shared her personal experience with domestic violence. We also talked about what the healing process has been like since leaving the abusive relationship. Michaela also shares some advice to other people that might have experienced a similar situation.

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To donate and support the After Dark podcast, please visit https://afterdarkpodcast.com/donate

Marni grew up wanting the stable family she never had, and for 27 years she overlooked the red flags in her marriage while raising her children and working as a teacher. It wasn’t until the abuse turned physical at the very end that her light bulb went on.

In this episode she talks about the subtle forms of abuse that outsiders rarely see, including gaslighting, isolation, smear campaigns, financial abuse and parental alienation, and about a high-conflict divorce and court proceedings that have continued for almost a decade. She shares how she rebuilt after losing her home and working several jobs at once, and how writing became her greatest healing tool, from her award-winning spiritual novel God Came to My Garage Sale to her four-book series True Deceit, False Love. Marni’s advice for anyone in an abusive relationship is to plan your exit carefully, look after yourself, rediscover your passions and handle life’s challenges with love.

To find out more Marni and the work she is doing, you can check out her website: https://godcametomygaragesale.com