Here we go, everybody. Peter has finally reached the fantasy suite week, which we are positive he had marked on his calendar when he first agreed to be on the show. We're here to talk about everything that happened on this episode, from the Madison drama to Peter's inability to recognize when his girlfriend is cold to us starting our own high school assembly tour show about sex. Thanks for listening!

This week, we immediately address last week's hater who sent a followup email and then go right into the happenings of this week's hometown visit episode of The Bachelor. Peter actually behaved like a normal human being this week and we're all better off for it. This episode featured Chris, Adam, and Lara on their best behavior, totally trying to stay on topic the whole time. Totally.

Buckle in, because this is a huge episode. We received our first-ever complaint about the podcast and spend approximately three hours talking about it. But when we're done with that, we talk about religion, sex, Peter's buffoonery, and Disney princesses. It's a great show this week that will absolutely get us more complaints.

Great news: Adam, Chris, AND Lara are all in studio to talk about Wednesday night's dramatic super-extra bonus episode of the Bachelor! They talk Mykenna, Victorias, Haaaaaan... the whole gang. Topics include: "female empowerment" and whether or not the women rehearse their goodbye limo speeches.

Our guest host flaked at the last minute (probably blew us off to go do whatever it is cool 23 year-old girls do in San Diego) so it's just Adam and Chris in the studio recapping Monday's goddamn marathon episode of the Bachelor. Listen until the very end for an excellent idea for a Bachelor spinoff! (Spoiler: it's dark.)

With Adam out gallivanting around in Seattle, Chris welcomes Lara into the studio to help him out discussing week 4 of the Bachelor starring Peter the Pilot. In a shock to all, they actually stay on topic for most of the episode and dig deep into a lot of topics, from the deviousness of the Bachelor's producers to whether or not Peter is equipped to handle this much drama coming from multiple 23 year-olds.

Adam and Chris are alone in the studio left to their own devices. Luckily they have plenty of wine which leads to a completely random tangent about which famous Hollywood actors' penises they would like to see on the big screen. They also talk about this week's Bachelor episode and the complete and utter lack of a goddamn promised pool party.

Adam and Chris are back with episode number two, and guess who joins in studio this week: a girl who is responsible for shaping the minds of young men and women all over San Diego. Yep, our friend Nicole who is a teacher drops by to engage in an absolutely ridiculous conversation about the Bachelor and everything possible related to it. It gets WEIRD quick, everybody.

Chris and Adam are BACK with the return episode of AFTERGLOW, the best 30 minutes of your week (or 60, as it turns out). Joining them in studio is Danielle, who sits in horror as the conversation eventually turns into fingerbanging about halfway through this Bachelor podcast. But don't worry, we talk about the premiere episode of Peter's season of ABC's hit show THE BACHELOR at various points.