AFTERGLOW: A Bachelor Podcast

Disclaimer: we barely talk about the show this week. For real, it's like 25 minutes of off-topic insanity, with 5 minutes of Bachelorette talk sprinkled in.

Disclaimer #2: Chris is an idiot and had his mic turned way too much up the whole time, so sorry if his mic sounds a little hot.

Disclaimer #3: Shockingly, the TidyCats people have not furiously contacted us... yet.

With no new episode of The Bachelorette lined up this week, Chris and Adam take this opportunity to present a brand-new podcast concept. In what will hopefully be the first of many self-help podcasts on topics that they are most *definitely* experts on, they tackle the very important milestone moment of a man or woman's first orgy. During the show they'll walk you through every step of an orgy, from invite to cleanup. So sit back, relax, and imagine the two of them naked while you listen to what is technically the pilot episode of "I Broke My Arm So I Put It In A Podcast"

Chris and Adam are alone in the studio today, which means more dick jokes than usual, testosterone flowing freely, and all the protein waffles one can eat. They also manage to touch on a topical social issue, namely why the heck nobody bats an eye when this show makes guys wrestle in the mud while randoms in the crowd scream "show us your junk". They also talk about Ellen, Whaboom, Tinder dates, and carpool lanes. Thanks for listening!

The gang is back talking about episode 2 of Rachel's season. They discuss the basketball game, the drama concerning DeMario, and Peter's amazingness. Adam also gets angry when accused of racism, the guys talk about large penises, and Chris' shirt almost gets popped off in-studio. And let's not forget about Courtney!

Chris, Adam, and Courtney are back to talk about the premiere episode of Rachel's Bachelorette season. The Racist Buzzer makes its triumphant return to the podcast, and Adam picks on Chris for still liking professional wrestling. Adam later falls into a deep depression from doing the podcast without champagne, and nobody realized Courtney's microphone was on way too low until it was way too late. It's a fun one, thanks for listening!

Well, we've reached the end! The gang is back for one last podcast talking about Nick Viall. He chose poorly in the season finale, and we rake him over the coals about it. BUT THE BEST PART IS THE BUZZER. THE BUZZER IS COPYRIGHTED BY US AND NOBODY ELSE BETTER STEAL THIS IDEA FOR RACHEL'S BACHELORETTE SEASON PODCASTS! What the hell is this referring to? Tune in and find out! And thanks to everybody for listening all season, we'll see you in a few months! 

Adam is absent this week, so join Chris, Courtney, and Courtney's Adam impression as they go over this week's episode of The Bachelor. (They heap praise upon Corinne and wish immense suffering on Taylor and Liz, for what that's worth.) Oh, and just in case you thought they'd stay on topic this week, they also talk about bad sex, viagra, and reindeer - but thankfully not all in the same immediate conversation.

In this sex-fueled edition of afterglow, the guys take full advantage of Courtney's absence by talking about getting older and yelling at clouds, sex on waterbeds, and poor Raven's ex-boyfriend whose life is now ruined. This past episode of the Bachelor was only 60 minutes long but that doesn't keep Adam and Chris from laying down a classic episode of the podcast. Thanks for listening, and enjoy!

It's hometown visits time, and Chris, Courtney, and Adam are here to break down exactly what happened this week on the Bachelor. Not to outdo themselves, they also touch on olives and cucumbers, African American church services, and try to coach Chris through his first Bumble experience. 

On this special Valentine's Day edition of afterglow, the gang talks about the latest happenings on The Bachelor. But don't worry, they also talk about all the ways to interact with a vagina, breaking up with people via notes, and the perils of jogging with big boobs. Oh, and none other than Tracy Morgan and Elmo from Sesame Street join the action live in studio!