Aging Angst and Alleluias

This enjoyable and spontaneous episode tells the ages-long story of how three very different women can be blessed to share the same bond, banter and beliefs. Debra Talley, Mary Anne Oglesby-Sutherly and Sue Duffield understand the meaning of significance and purpose in their mature years, but none of that happens without humor and the joy of not taking themselves seriously! The one commonality that they all have is a desire to make a difference in the dementia world. 

Also shared on this episode is The Veranda's Annual "A Christmas To Remember" - a benefit concert and Marketplace, taking place at Three Oaks Church, Gallatin, TN on Monday evening, December 2nd, 2025 with doors opening at 5pm. For tickets, get on www.verandaministries.org

This ENCORE episode features host Mary Anne Oglesby-Sutherly and Teepa Snow, discussing honestly about hospice and dementia. Teepa's "The Positive Approach to Care" (PAC) is by far the greatest influence for Mary Anne's vision and work-ethic, otherwise known as "The Veranda Ministries."

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This is part two continuing with the true story about a remarkable man Mary Anne Oglesby-Sutherly cared for, for almost two years. She briefly discussed him in episode 62, finishing the story today.

Randy’s sad journey and experience into a geriatric psych unit is not rare. Mary Anne has a large box of files documented with stories just like Randy's. Some geri psych units have good outcomes, but "good" has not been the Veranda's experience with their clients in some geri psych programs. 

Better skills through "Relationship-Based Care" and training to combat behaviors is the right thing to do. Residents of Tennessee need to stand up for those dying of inappropriate care, especially in the field of dementia care.

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Nadine will be long remembered as a faithful volunteer and servant. She was a true friend of Veranda Ministries and a true treasure to everyone who knew her.

The best part of this story is listening to Mary Anne Oglesby-Sutherly share her bond with Nadine as her advocate, EOLD/Dementia Doula. Relationship-based care was in full operation, and there's no doubt that we all can learn from this example of love.

This episode also includes part one of Randy’s story, a journey no family wants to take. His treatment in an emergency room and the care he received in a specialized unit are ones no family should have to endure. 

Mary Anne's outrage over his care (and lack thereof) is the result of a disheartening and unfortunate commonplace experience of how those living with dementia are treated in some medical facilities and specialized units around the country.  PLWD deserve better care.  

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Research tells us how people think about aging, the elderly, and abuse - finds that people very quickly and unconsciously draw a line between older people and the “rest of us.” This mindset isn’t restricted to how we think about the elderly and the problems it creates; it contributes to a range of social issues, including racial and economic discrimination. But why does it seem more prevalent in this particular aging group we call "seniors", no matter the color of their skin?

Mary Anne Oglesby-Sutherly and producer, Sue Duffield, take the word "advocacy" to heart and to a new level. It's time for non-profits, churches and ministries to seriously examine how they treat, care and recognize the elderly in their organizations. 

Also mentioned on this episode is the new video release from the Veranda Ministries, "Dementia's Hidden Heroes", available on YouTube - https://youtu.be/lemoJAp8Yos?si=oOpwXPpMhb3N7M7h

The amazing story of "The Fifth Sparrow", also mentioned on this episode, is a great reminder of the value each soul has in the kingdom of God, no matter what side of the tracks you're from. Reference made at about the 15 minute mark on this church's YouTube episode: https://www.youtube.com/live/4OYIIkUV-F4?si=X8_zbRHb7ZghqYc9

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The Veranda Ministries truly knows that every caregiver is desperate for any single sign of hope and joy regarding their loved one’s dismal future of a dementia diagnosis. Telling their stories is one way to ensure a message of optimism and encouragement is paramount to everyone. For a loved one whose world is collapsing, this is the best therapy — telling the truth about the disease but loving the individual more, no matter what stage. 

Mary Anne Oglesby-Sutherly and Sue Duffield share personal stories of family along with clients of Veranda Ministries. And while culturally, what isn’t as frequently discussed – if at all – are the bright and deeply emotional experiences of dementia. It’s a challenging disease, often destroying families. Socialization is one, if not THE most important way you can help a loved one. Many family members are fearful and not very comfortable around their family member with dementia, and as a result, tend to stop visits or even abandon them altogether. It’s important to continue finding ways to help them feel loved and socially connected. It doesn’t always have to be all bad. 

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Host Mary Anne Oglesby-Sutherly and producer, Sue Duffield revisit the amazing and healing story of one of Mary Anne's exceptional clients, Martha. It was Martha's dignity that was challenged with incontinence, but to the quick thinking of those around her, she was spared the horror of the embarrassment of losing bodily functions in a public place.

One day you may find that someone you care about — a spouse, parent, relative, or close friend — needs help negotiating the very simple daily tasks of life. Perhaps that day has already come. There is so much to learn here in this episode. Caregivers worldwide deal with this kind of thing every day. But understanding that the loved one with a cognitive disability is always forefront, doing whatever it takes to make them comfortable, even using a brand new coat to cover and protect the new seat in a truck, is quite okay.

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This episode starts out chaotic, fun, frivolous and hilarious - talking carrot cake and nudist camps - all in the same breath! Host Mary Anne Oglesby-Sutherly and producer Sue Duffield, take the rabbit trail down that crazy path of spilled medicine caplets, Mark Lowry's giant custom pill box container, to even talking (as friends do) about the dilemma of knowing whether or not you're taking the right pill at the right time, or if you took it at all, for that matter! 

Also discussed on this episode is Electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) that is recently becoming the "go to" therapy in treatment-resistant depression, or those with dementia and compromised brain health. The safety, however, of ECT has been consistently questioned, particularly among elderly patients with cognitive impairment. Mary Anne greatly questions the use of this kind of therapy with dementia patients and has seen personally the "not so good" results.

The Veranda Ministries is a compassionate oasis allowing caregivers to entrust their loved ones with care on a daily basis. And so is the heart of this podcast, to "do the right thing, for the right reason." 

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Mary Anne Oglesby-Sutherly and her sidekick-producer Sue Duffield, take this episode down a memory lane right from the start. The one thing that stands out the most is not only their reminiscent ways reliving the corner drug store experience, but also the difficulty of navigating the larger box store pharmacies, especially for the elderly. 

With an average of 11,000 people turning 65-years-old every single day, understanding and meeting the diversified needs of a new generation of older adults has never been more important, especially with medication and pharmacies. The desire for specialty pharmacies plays a critical role engaging with these older patients, but only if they are able to completely understand this generation’s needs, changing their preconceived notions about aging, and delivering services that are designed to meet them where they are.

Bottom line: We need a community-driven, caring experience for all those in the aging population, especially when it comes to medication. As Mary Anne says, "We're making it too hard to be kind."

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Thursday Night 7pm - July 18th, 2024 Veranda Ministries Benefit with Mark Lowry, Hillcrest Baptist Church,621 Hartsville Pike, Lebanon, TN37087

Episode 56 is a continuation from previous episode 55 (Unmerited Favor: A Daughter's Love Caring for Both Parents with Dementia) with Mary Gail Anderson, an adult child of two parents suffering with dementia and Parkinson's. This is caregiving to the absolute ultimate. Her exact words, when dealing with the medical professionals are, "question everything." Seriously, question everything.

As someone ages with dementia-like diseases and/or Parkinson's, their health appears to deteriorate in a way that can seem slow at first. It's as if they are inching toward a cliff — and when they fall off, they find themselves on another health cliff, and another, and another. With each cliff, it gets more difficult for a family member to catch them. 

Mary Gail's compelling story hopes to encourage all caregivers to constantly do in-depth research when it comes to medical care for their loved ones.

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