Appearance vs. Deep-Rooted Essence 外表vs. 內在
We form our first impressions from faces and appearance. There is considerable agreement in our impressions, which carry significant social outcomes. Appearance matters because some facial qualities are so useful in guiding adaptive (適應的) behavior that can create an impression. Although we are admonished (告誡) “don’t judge a book by its cover,” we still repeatedly go about our daily lives responding to people on the basis of their facial appearance. Attractiveness is the appearance quality that has received the most attention on impressions from faces. Facial impressions are shaped not only by a face’s specific features, but also by our own beliefs about personality. Nowadays, using more social media has also been linked to people’s feelings, perhaps, which are less satisfied with their bodies. That is because images on social media have caused them to worry about their body images. For children, in the family, how parents think, act and speak about their own bodies and their children’s bodies affect (影響) their children’s body images in both direct ways. Besides, it is normal, right now, for young people to feel dissatisfied with their looks from time to time, thinking that their skins are too blemished (有瑕疵的), their noses are too small, or they are too short. Moreover, it is also very normal for women, and increasingly men, to feel some negativity towards their appearance. Indeed, in our modern time, most people check how they look in the mirror, use make-up to enhance certain features, or change their hairstyles to feel more confident.
If feeling dissatisfied becomes more constant, it could be a sign of mental problems, such as anxiety and depression. Appearance focuses attention. When we are worried about something, it is natural for us to focus on it more and more. Therefore, people who are over-concerned with their appearance would constantly seek lots of make-up, strict facial or haircare routines, extreme dieting, over-exercising, or overusing cosmetic procedures. In fact, learning to accept appearance is the key point. By the way, our appearance cannot control our whole bodies. It is just the superficial surface. It really doesn’t mean that we have the same deep-rooted essence as well. The deep-rooted essence of our lives is the essence of our hearts and feelings. For example, it is just as we think about why we are here, what keeps life going on this earth, how life started, what happens after death, why a plant grows from a seed, why we will die, whether there are other planets existing in the galaxy or not, etc. And it’s critical to understand the true source of our being in order to be able to respond to such issues. Actually, we are the persons who have certain beliefs, thoughts, tendencies, desires, memories, and dreams. We will become someone else if we don’t know who we are. The majority of people end up being someone else. Because of this, we mask our genuine selves and adopt (採納) other people’s identities. If a person wants to become the real person he is meant to be, he must accept himself and take responsibilities for himself. What could be more natural than experiencing our true deep-rooted essence? When the mind is quiet for a moment, we can find ourselves automatically in the moment, where peace, happiness, contentment, and joy are available. It is the source of all motivation, action, communication, creativity, insight, inspiration, vision, ideas, and wisdom. But, it’s not easy to get that moment. We need to focus on the present moment. In fact, we are quite aware that we don’t have to only depend on our mere appearance to live in the world. On the contrary, our deep-rooted essence is more important than our appearance.
The deep-rooted essence of our lives is goodness. Being good by definition is being kind, generous, virtuous, and striving towards high quality in all settings. Goodness has its own rewards. People like and trust good people, and people are inspired by those who seek goodness and behave as such. Good intentions are not necessary to be saintly (神聖似的). To enjoy a cup of coffee, to eat a decent breakfast, to lock the door gently, to get to work on time, to be conscientious, to feel safe, to care for a family, to be a decent person, to avoid trouble, to hurt less, to enjoy something sweet, not to quarrel with others, and to live to see the sunrise are all good intentions. Good intentions are maybe small. But they still matter. When we show our good and positive intentions to others, we feel safer, more supported, and happier. And when others feel that they get our good intentions, they feel seen, appreciated, and more inclined to treat us well. Seeing a recognition of our and others’ good intentions can be a powerful experience. We’ll meet lots of courtesies, good efforts, desires to be understood, loyalty to friends and kindness. Goodness lets us find our passion. Our passion is the foundation of our giving. It is not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving. It should not be simply a matter of choosing the right thing, but also a matter of choosing what is right for us. Goodness lets us give our time to others. The gift of time is often more valuable to the receiver and more satisfying for the giver than the gift of money. We don’t have the same amount of money, but we all have time on our hands, and can give some time to help others whether we devote our lifetimes to service, or just give a few hours each day or a few days a year.
We were born to be the special persons and live the life we want. We don’t have to follow the trend, conform to the norms, fear judgments, and live up to the expectations of others. We are blessed with our set of abilities, talents, and strengths. In other words, our life is all about us, and we have to live for ourselves only, not others. We have to know what we want, follow our hearts, and chase goals that are true to us. This is the only way to tap our full potential and bring out the best in us. Life is meaningful when we live it being true to ourselves and guided by our inner compass (羅盤). We know why we are doing, what we are doing, and each action of ours is purposeful and holds value for us.
People who follow their hearts and authenticity are pleasant. They are comfortable and carefree. Therefore, when we follow our own hearts, we don’t have to bother about doing things to please others because we live for ourselves. And our dreams and goals are our topmost priority. When we follow our hearts, we take ownership of our life into our hands, and stand by our decisions and choices. There’s no place for regrets or feeling sorry for ourselves because we accept the consequences of our actions and learn to deal with them. The essence of life is to feel fulfilled. Fulfillment lies in the journey; it is not a destination that we want to reach. We find life enjoyable when we hold close to our hearts, find values in, and feel truly alive. We’re the happiest when we stay true to our deep-rooted essence within.
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