No show this week, folks, so here's a little something from the private files. We'll be be back soon in all of our drunken glory.

Preston finally gets his dirty mouth washed out with soap. Despite ongoing rumors and an unfortunate haircut, Angry Phone Guy's wardrobe confirms his heterosexuality. The Word Whore gives up both her ass and her dignity for Lent. "Where You'll Find Me" by DG is sad and it's sad and it's sad too. Link joins Buttons in the studio for "The Redneck Review".

Buttons gives birth to the Anti-Christ, while The Whore drops acid and goes 'walkabout'. Preston denies his resemblance to Chicken Little. Part two of "Moonlight", by Craig from the Tangents podcast, delivers only part of its juicy payload before cutting out for a Ginger-MaryAnne sandwich.

The Word Whore defiles Mother Earth. Buttons tie-dyes a tree-hugger. Craig, from the Tangents podcast, oils up his harness and breaks out all the toys in part one of "Moonlight". Invisible sex organs dig up frightening images from Preston's childhood. Hairy Barbarian's run from wayward butt-plugs.

Buttons loses his battle with the homeless virus. The Word Whore fiddles, while Air Out My Shorts burns. Lost recordings collect dust for good reason. Buttons and The Whore take a meatless road-trip with Michael Beckwith in "A Day In The Life Of". Z.J. serves up some silver tongue. Preston conducts a fruitless survey.

The Word Whore lays claim to yet another celebrity tonguing in absentia, while poor Button's patience with her drunken baby-talk babble is quite audibly pushed to the edge. Mike Dominic's "At His Own Pace" receives the highest story rating ever bestowed, shortly before experts have to be called in for The Whore's deep cleaning. The Barbie Dream House labels all its exits.

Preston yanks his own chain. The Word Whore prepares for a British invasion. Dann H gets Irish on Buttons. Al from Long Island demands a peach from the Whore. Simon Wilkinson says "It Could Be You", but probably isn't.

The Whore rats out Link's little sister and airs out her unkempt garage. The conclusion of Z.J. Maplin's "Sins Quietly" finds Preston Buttons wielding a dangerous piece of meat. Disco Lou calls in to woo his favorite gap girl. The Word Whore boosts seat sales for her private self-esteem workshops.

In this very special Valentine's episode, Preston flashes his Ninja card while The Whore aches for twat recognition. Buttons and The Word Whore warm your cockles by mucking about in Malkavius Rostif's "You, Me and a Pool of Astroglide". Although The Whore's toy box is evidently situated very close to the mic, wanking is strictly prohibited.

Preston is a snitch. AoMS joins the MySpace cult. The Whore does a "bad bad thing". Part one of Z.J. Maplin's "Sins Quietly" dons something frilly and dangles from the ceiling. Bid Bad Bruce sweats to the oldies and picks on the elderly.