Tom Brady proves his Floridaness by showing poor judgment while drunk on boat, meanwhile Biden proposes Sunshine State travel ban after fearless Tampa parties naked-faced, Congress realizes U.S. military doesn’t actually like them very much, the gun grabbers are back and bigger than ever, and how many volcanoes can you fit in a balloon?

Adrian was wrong about the GOAT, and he gets caged in “big game” experience (we can’t use the actual name or the football people will sue), Alex still won’t shut up about 45-year-old Eagles song, Biden wages space war against Elon, Democrat Tulsi Gabbard defends the right’s rights, Russia unveils combat gear to make Master Chief proud, and this is your brain on a microchip.

Locked-down nostalgic millennials with disposable gubmint cheez ruin Wall Street fat cats’ week, NYC busts speakeasies like it’s 1921, “white supremacy” group members shocked their Latino leader is an FBI informant, Dems say “psyche!” on $2K stimulus, and maskless mayor pepper sprays maskless man for being maskless after maskless man confronted mayor about being maskless.

John Brennan says Biden will use lasers on unholy Libertarians, intelligent robots can “walk a mile in your shoes” before eradicating you, DeSantis says no to Florida FEMA camps, scientists aroused by dinosaur butthole, Microsoft creates new psychic medium division, and that better be coyote on your barbeque grill.

Adrian sells out to get the “V”, Alex does happy family picture time, everyone gets banned from social media and less people care, even Snake Pliskin couldn’t escape DC inauguration lockdown, the border wall grew by 15 miles under Trump, one man’s protest is another’s insurrection -- and vice versa, and hackers say All Your D*cks Are Belong To Us.

Trump season finale is must-see TV as he tells supporters “I’ll be there with you” then leaves, history proves “insurgents” storm and occupy Capitol building about every 18 months and shoot it up or bomb it every 20 years or so, Biden plans to break Trump’s deficit spending record, social media censorship and app blacklisting reaches critical mass, CA governor may get evicted, and golfer offensively questions ball’s sexuality

Grateful Americans decorate McConnell & Pelosi’s homes and leave gifts of ham, healthcare workers say “no” to the needle, Mexico concerned about flood of US refugees, why your smart devices could SWAT you, why 2021 probably won’t be any better, and will Pam offer Trump a grab for Assange pardon?

Alex looks for a place to put his cigar and Adrian perfects his “old fashioned” technique, US and Chinese government fight over who gets to spy on you, special committee appointed by Congress to find ways to streamline Congress recommends creation of special committee to find ways to streamline Congress, Bitcoin soars, Musk ramping up Mars colonization, and will the Nashville bomber’s actual motive match the media/authorities narrative?

Rev. Adrian welcomes Rev. Alex to the church, Russians totally infiltrate US government networks, heroes with needles are coming and media debates which way to lie about it, Alex digs angry Tom Cruise, Adrian geeks out on quantum teleportation, and more government bigwigs aren’t not saying it’s not necessarily not aliens.