Alex gleefully reviews the Civil War movie, Adrian contemplates animal consciousness, the self-immolator didn’t actually sound totally crazy, John Wayne Bobbit is a Real American, we all work for the NSA now, and does Kona Blue mean that interdimensional beings plan to eat us?

New DIY Medicare plan makes Adrian an amateur ICU RN, Alex wants half-staff OJ tribute, Israel trying to force US into war with Iran, the bi-partisan politics behind spying on Americans, how NPR lost America’s trust, McCarthy calls out Gaetz, and what would YOU put in the Dune popcorn bucket?

The first Florida Man Achievement Award goes to Adrian’s niece, God or the Chinese caused NY earthquake to punish us because climate change or something. Desantis smells pot, Israel goes full Bond villain, ain’t nobody got time for time in space, CA cops save (then kill) teenage kidnap victim, and ladies and gentlemen…Mr. Conway Twitty.

Hungover Adrian questions his parenting decisions, Alex unlocks Skunk Ape Florida Man achievement, this one simple insurance trick will probably cost you a new mileage tax, US getting a bit uneasy with Israel’s real estate transaction, DeSantis signs law that will create a child army of hacktivists, and we enjoy some beautiful music by the man who shot Reagan.

Adrian & Alex decide we should earn “Florida Man” scout badges for things like molesting a manatee, why hating the government is different from hating America, instant ice age to start next year according to fear-porn peddlers, US puts troops in Taiwan, SCOTUS justice thinks 1A protects government speech, and Apple sucks but the government needs to leave them alone.

Adrian gets a dose of toxic female masculinity after rom-com tearjerker, Boeing suffers another string of “bad luck” and whistleblower ends up suspiciously dead, America’s top Jew fires warning shot at Israel, Canada goes full China, and why you absolutely, positively should steal from the self-checkout lane.

The state of the union is “un,” governments and tech companies fighting over who gets to oppress you while still being each others’ biggest customers, the clock is Tik Toking, AI is getting better at lying, Big Pharma recruits Oprah to fat shame your body positivity, and it’s time for us all to agree that ACAB.

Blame Room 641A for your cell phone outage, it’s 3D irony when Nazis call out Israelis for genocide, nation-states being replaced by corporate-states, why Adrian can’t have electricity, Alex tells tales of drunken nights of old, and why we’re all becoming anarcho-nihilists.

Adrian gets a H-pic, Alex is now known as “Fruity Sudsucker,” Left & Right are pissed about WWJD, Putin kills Navalny and plans space nukes, America argues over which presidential candidate is more cognitively impaired, cops open fire on falling acorn, “Hookers & Blow” Gates, “Bump & Grind” Willis, and the future of AI incels.

Alex and Adrian argue over the Tucker Carlson interview with Putin, DOJ basically tells the world Biden is senile, NOTA beats Haley in primary, AI wants a nuclear war, why some think ACAB, we discuss the proper way to cook a male member, Ozzy & Ye go to War Pig, and we’re not fans of book burning…but we’re suckers for a hot chick with a flamethrower.