201010. Day 117 of #alivewithart - BTS concert- Feeling happy to be inspired by BTS as multimedia artists- getting better at balancing clouds and dirt - balancing dreams and aspirations- realization: during 2 pivotal moments in my life, i had a specific friend i caught up with ((is that a pattern??? or am i reading too much into things))- watching the greatest showman in 2018 I cried listening to the soundtrack over and over again because that was everything i wanted to do- feeling more financially secure hey self we owe it to our past self to eat and make the choice to eat- not eating because going through stuff :(- wanted to pursue the arts without knowing where to start- the desire to earn from dance came from a deep insecurity of not knowing where to start- the pattern : i pursue dance, it turns great, i get inspired, but things happen and life happens, and it takes a turn and i have to shift away from dance for awhile- signed up for UPW in 2019- rediscovered love for singing in 2019- March 2019: street singing superstar: WAS SCARED BUT I SANG IN PUBLIC- reflecting, isolated self to write songs and make content~~- June 2019: got a freelance project to do project coordinator!- 2019 (i forgot when) - i auditioned for a musical theater play - i failed it bigtime it but HEY I SHOWED UP- 2020 - rediscovered songwriting!- "what is it i can do regardless of how i am feeling?" i can write while i'm good and i- passion isn't necessarily something you love or makes you happy, it's also about what you're willing to work hard for- getting to work to make these crazy dreams happen :) ~ socials ~ TikTok https://tiktok.com/@ashamarinellaInstagram https://instagram.com/ashamarinellaFacebook https://facebook.com/ashamarinellaYouTube https://www.youtube.com/@ashamarinellaFor more, check out my socials https://beacons.ai/ashamarinella

201101. Day 139 of #AliveWithArtNOTE TO FUTURE SELF Clouds And Dirt. Always.- stay humble!!~ join me on my journey here! ~TikTok https://tiktok.com/@ashamarinellaInstagram https://instagram.com/ashamarinellaFacebook https://facebook.com/ashamarinellaYouTube https://www.youtube.com/@ashamarinellaFor more, check out my socials https://beacons.ai/ashamarinella

221217. Day 855 of #AliveWithArt!- sung and dance in front of people for the first time!!! @ company christmas party!!!- excited for the coming months, but also scared that i'm letting go of what i wanted to do i nthe past- i'm countering that by telling myself that it's not that i'm letting go of making art, it's just that right now, the way i do it looks different :)- prioritizing myself as a human first and foremost :)- struggling to be ok with - it's hard to maintain that passion - passion (for me) is an extreme emotion, and it's hard for me to stay consistent with my passion- being consistent with things requires you to be comfortable with the mundane, boring, difficult parts of things- sometimes it won't even be difficult it's just boring like "oh just work"- for the longest time, i only wanted to pursue what brought me energy- but if u use too much energy, u will burn out!!!- learning to be comfy with my job not being my passion = 20 YEAR OLD ASHA WOULD BE SHOCKED AT THE AUDACITY- leaning more towards excited of what's to come more than saddened of what i've let go- ACCEPTANCE STAGE?!!- no thoughts of plans moving forward, trying to take it day by day- FCKN HAPPY 2 BE ALIVE :) (to have made it through 2022)-------~ join me on my journey here! ~TikTok https://tiktok.com/@ashamarinellaInstagram https://instagram.com/ashamarinellaFacebook https://facebook.com/ashamarinellaYouTube https://www.youtube.com/@ashamarinellaFor more, check out my socials https://beacons.ai/ashamarinella

210325. (10:46pm). Day 286 of #AliveWithArt(one of those days)- 1 year of lockdown :(- feeling low, want to get out of my head- exhausted, alone, family with me- directionless - what am i doing?- the things i want to do. i don't know if i can support myself- i want to pursue music, performing but there's also the fear that i have to be more open about the things i've gone through/what inspires me- i don't like being known as that kind of person- most people know me as high energy- so scary because i'd have to bear more of who i am - the good, bad- goal is to make happy songs- process of continuously trying to create- should i start with sadder songs or make new ones- so that i'm not waiting too long for myself- maybe i can trying wrting happy songs for myself so i can pull myself out of a rut- makeup- if i have to drag myself to my dreams it's the weight i'd gladly carry- at the same time, the pursuit of your dreams shouldn't come at the expense of the happiness we enjoy today- be who my old self needed- some days it's gong to be heavy, but we can trust ourselves to keep going at it- i feel like a dark cloud - but some daysoops i wasnt able to finish my notes on this one buuut i'll get around to it again next time!!! :)

~ join me on my journey here! ~

TikTok https://tiktok.com/@ashamarinella

Instagram https://instagram.com/ashamarinella

Facebook https://facebook.com/ashamarinella

YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@ashamarinella

For more, check out my socials https://beacons.ai/ashamarinella

201102. Day 140 of #AliveWithArt

201003. 2:10am. Day 109 of #alivewithart

~ join me on my journey here! ~

Hey there! :) If you're like me the past few years - maybe you just always have a quiet New Years Eve at home or what have you - here's a video from 4 years ago, to accompany you on this final night of the year :)

211228. Day 533 of #AliveWithArt.

201227. Day 197 of #AliveWithArt.

220407. Day 623 of #AliveWithArt.