In the first episode of the All About Marriage series, Larry Vinson is joined by April Bordeau to explore one of the most essential foundations of a thriving marriage: healthy communication.

Before couples can effectively navigate conflict, heal after betrayal, or deepen intimacy, they must first learn how to communicate with emotional awareness, safety, and intention. April draws from both her clinical expertise and nearly three decades of marriage to offer practical, real-life tools couples can begin using immediately.

Core Truth About Marriage

Marriage is not sustained by intention alone—it requires ongoing effort and grace. April reframes long-term marriage as a continual process of growth and learning. As individuals and seasons of life change, communication must evolve as well. God’s grace, paired with intentional practice, allows couples to remain connected even when they stumble.

The 3 Foundational Principles of Healthy Communication

1. You are responsible for your own “yard.” Each spouse is responsible for their own physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual well-being.
2. You are not responsible for your spouse’s “yard.” You cannot control how your spouse shows up—but you can control how you do.
3. Spouses influence one another, but do not determine one another. Healthy communication invites influence without manipulation or control.

April emphasizes that oneness is not sameness. Two distinct people sharpen one another rather than merge into a single identity.

10 Practical Steps for Healthy Communication

1. Pause before responding to ensure you are responding intentionally rather than reacting emotionally.
2. Check your intent by asking why you are having the conversation and what you hope to accomplish.
3. Assume positive intent and remember that you and your spouse are on the same team.
4. Speak from your own experience using “I” statements instead of blame.
5. Listen to understand, not to win, recognizing that winning an argument can cost connection.
6. Reflect what you hear to validate your spouse before responding or problem-solving.
7. Name emotions clearly, going beyond basic emotions like mad, sad, or happy.
8. Stay present and on topic, avoiding “kitchen sink” fighting that derails conversations.
9. Repair after rupture by owning mistakes, apologizing, and returning to connection.
10. End with connection and next steps rather than walking away without closure.

These steps are not about perfection, but about increasing the likelihood of emotional safety, connection, and intimacy.

Encouragement for Listeners

A single podcast episode cannot undo years of communication patterns, but change is possible. With intentionality, support, and the right tools, marriages that once felt tense or disconnected can experience renewed closeness and hope.

“It’s not too late. Start today. Start small. Try one thing.”

Resources & Support

Visit caretochange.org and explore the Resources tab, including the Marriage section, for podcasts, books, and tools to support your relationship. Couples who need deeper support are encouraged to schedule counseling or marriage coaching with Care to Change.