By Bob and Audrey Meisner
4.8
6161 ratings
The podcast currently has 182 episodes available.
We are hosting a Marriage Getaway 2025 on the beautiful beaches of Jamaica from January 11-18, and we want you to join us!
Click Here for information and you can email us directly: [email protected]
Come to Jamaica with us!
https://traveljoy.com/bookings/iNLp6gac9QCJDi2Epm4KTSmu
https://www.audreyclub.com/
https://www.bobandaudrey.com/
https://www.audreyclub.com/
https://www.bobandaudrey.com/
Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.
We are hosting a Marriage Getaway 2025 on the beautiful beaches of Jamaica from January 11-18, and we want you to join us! Click Here for information and you can email us directly: [email protected]
https://www.audreyclub.com/
https://www.bobandaudrey.com/
Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.
The Story I’m Telling Myself About You
Have you ever caught yourself making up stories about what someone you love is thinking or feeling, without ever asking them? We all do it. When someone we care about is quiet, distant, or does something we don’t understand, our minds automatically start filling in the blanks. We imagine what might be going on, sometimes assuming the worst. But these stories we tell ourselves can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and emotional distance.
What if, instead of guessing or assuming, we shared these stories with the person we love? Imagine saying, “This is the story I’m telling myself about you right now,” and using that phrase to start a real, honest conversation. This simple sentence has the power to stop assumptions in their tracks and bring us closer to the people we care about by helping us get on the same page. It’s a great way to break the cycle of misunderstanding, build trust, and foster deeper connections.
Owning Your Own NarrativeBefore you ever have this conversation with someone you love, it’s important to first have it with yourself. The phrase “This is the story I’m telling myself” encourages self-awareness. It helps you acknowledge that you’re responsible for the stories you tell yourself and that these stories are just one interpretation of reality. Often, when we feel hurt or frustrated, it’s easy to blame the other person for what we think is happening. But by owning your own narrative, you take a moment to reflect and realize that the story may be shaped by your own feelings or insecurities, not by what the other person is actually doing.
This shift is important because it moves the focus away from blaming someone else and puts it on understanding your own internal process. It encourages you to pause, recognize that the way you’re interpreting the situation may not be the full truth, and approach the conversation with a mindset of curiosity rather than accusation. By owning your story first, you open the door to a more honest, understanding dialogue that allows both of you to connect more deeply.
The Stories We Tell OurselvesIn our relationships with family, friends, or anyone we care about, it’s easy to create stories in our heads when we don’t know all the facts. When someone’s behavior or words are unclear, we might start making up explanations that are influenced by our own worries or past experiences. For example, if someone you love is unusually quiet, you might think, “They’re upset with me,” when in reality, they might just be tired or distracted.
These stories are often just guesses, but they can feel real to us. Without checking if they’re true, we act on these assumptions. Using the phrase, “This is the story I’m telling myself about you,” allows us to stop and share our feelings in a way that invites understanding. It’s a way of saying, “This is what I’m thinking, but I might be wrong—can you help me understand?” This gives the other person a chance to explain, and you both have the opportunity to clear things up before misunderstandings take root.
The Impact of AssumptionsWhen we act on these assumptions without checking if they’re true, it can lead to real problems. You might end up feeling hurt, misunderstood, or even angry about something that wasn’t happening at all. These misunderstandings, left unchecked, can grow, causing emotional distance and making it harder to connect with the people we love.
A lot of times, the stories we tell ourselves come from our own insecurities or fears. If we’ve been hurt in the past, we might assume the worst, even when it isn’t happening. Without addressing these feelings, they can create unnecessary tension in our relationships. If we don’t talk about what’s really going on, we risk building walls that keep us from understanding each other.
How to Break the Habit of AssumingThe phrase “This is the story I’m telling myself about you” can help break this habit of making assumptions. It allows us to pause and think about what we’re really feeling before reacting. Instead of assuming we know what the other person is thinking, we share our thoughts and feelings openly, creating room for a real conversation.
This phrase works because it invites both people to share their perspectives. It encourages us to ask questions and be curious, rather than jumping to conclusions. Instead of reacting based on a story we’ve created in our minds, we can check in with the other person and get to the truth. When we’re curious rather than assuming, we’re more likely to understand each other and avoid unnecessary conflict.
Building Closer ConnectionsUsing this phrase also takes a bit of courage. It means admitting that we don’t have all the answers, and that can feel vulnerable. But that vulnerability can lead to deeper trust and stronger connections. When we’re open and honest about how we feel, it makes the people we love feel safe to do the same.
It’s easy to react out of fear or frustration when we’re unsure about something. But instead of reacting, we can pause and ask, “Is this really true? Or is this just the story I’m telling myself?” By choosing to be curious and checking in with someone you love, you avoid unnecessary arguments and build stronger, healthier relationships. Being honest about your thoughts and inviting clarity fosters understanding and emotional closeness.
How You Can Start TodayIf you notice that you’re starting to make up stories in your head about someone you love, try using this phrase to check in with yourself first and then with them. Instead of jumping to conclusions, take a moment to reflect on what you’re feeling. Share it with them using, “This is the story I’m telling myself about you right now,” and see how it opens the door to an honest conversation.
When we stop assuming and start asking for clarity, we build trust and get closer to the people we care about. These conversations may feel uncomfortable at first, but they can help us grow and strengthen our relationships. The next time you feel unsure, try using this phrase to break the habit of making assumptions, and watch how it transforms your connection with those you love.
Scripture to Reflect On:
By using this simple communication tool, you can prevent misunderstandings and strengthen your relationships with the people you love. Building trust and fostering open conversations with those around you will create more meaningful and connected relationships.
https://www.audreyclub.com/
https://www.bobandaudrey.com/
Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.
Join us, Bob and Audrey Meisner, for an unforgettable marriage retreat experience at Couples Tower Isle in Jamaica!
https://traveljoy.com/bookings/iNLp6gac9QCJDi2Epm4KTSmu
Every relationship carries within it a dream—a vision of deep connection, mutual understanding, and unshakeable trust. This dream is not just a fantasy; it is a tangible reality that can be achieved when two essential elements come together: sensitivity and security. Together, these create the foundation for a healthy, fulfilling partnership that allows love to thrive.
Sensitivity + Security = The Relationship Dream
The Key Takeaway:
Sensitivity is a beautiful and necessary component of a strong relationship, but it must be paired with security to truly flourish. Without security, sensitivity can trigger insecurities and lead to destructive patterns. Therefore, building a secure foundation of trust and self-assurance is essential for any relationship to thrive.
Jamaican Retreat 2025 January 11-18
with Bob & Audrey Meisner
https://traveljoy.com/bookings/iNLp6gac9QCJDi2Epm4KTSmu
Things to Note:
https://www.audreyclub.com/
https://www.bobandaudrey.com/
Music by lemonmusicstudio from Pixabay.
https://www.audreyclub.com/
https://www.bobandaudrey.com/
Music by Bohdan Kuzmin from Pixabay
https://www.audreyclub.com/
https://www.bobandaudrey.com/
Music by Bohdan Kuzmin from Pixabay
EP175: When I feel like I’m failing…
I know… it sounds so dramatic, but it’s easy to feel like we have failed as parents when we feel unappreciated or even attacked or blamed. This week, we faced some unexpected disappointments, and insecurity stepped in and initiated negative narratives that were (very) short of hopefulness. But it was a quick turnaround!
Every setback in any relationship is an opportunity for growth and every contrast we encounter is a chance to come back even stronger. And most of all, more secure.
The next time you feel contrast, in other words, something that is clearly NOT your preference, it’s the perfect time to give yourself a pass, and then find the golden nuggets of wisdom that will make you brighter, stronger, wiser, shinier, and more resilient than ever.
The first thing to remember after experiencing a contrasting disappointment is to remember that you have a choice. You can attach your meaning to the situation. If you can embrace your security in God’s friendship and reassure yourself of the gift your personality is, you can tell yourself a story of redemption and restoration. In every and any situation. This is powerful news!
When we feel judged, we tend to quickly judge that person back. When we react out of a broken heart, we will continue to project judgments on the people around us to feel better about ourselves. This is what keeps us stuck.
We can develop the skill and compassion to carry one another’s feelings of pain, rather than correct them. There’s a season of understanding and validating that is extremely helpful, and is an effective way to show unconditional love.
Research shows that the happiest and most satisfied people are those who see their loved ones in a positive light…many times even more positively than they see themselves! A highly thought of person is a well-loved person.
You can learn to change your mind… and your relationships will change. Instead of a fixed mindset (This will never change!) we encourage you to develop a growth mindset! (I can adjust!). Problems feel huge at the moment, but when your mindset adjusts, your choice is engaged, and the “problem” loses its “hugeness” and power.
Integrity and Intent coupled together create hope and trust. And when that integrity is strong, and foundationally sound, it’s the perfect place to let your imagination dream with new ideas and tap into wondrous possibilities!
Great Ideas to Ponder:
When we make bold dreams, and our hearts are willing and surrender to God’s ways and God's thoughts, we milk life for everything it’s got for us! So let’s apply this to our lives in a very practical way. Let’s squeeze the best out of every situation and refuse to waste our pain. And when we aren’t perfect, and life isn’t perfect, we give ourselves a HUGE PASS and say, I shall hunt for the treasure here and learn to love better every day.
https://www.bobandaudrey.com/
https://www.audreyclub.com/
Music by Bohdan Kuzmin from Pixabay
https://www.audreyclub.com/
https://www.bobandaudrey.com/
Music by Bohdan Kuzmin from Pixabay
https://www.audreyclub.com/
https://www.bobandaudrey.com/
Music by Bohdan Kuzmin from Pixabay
The podcast currently has 182 episodes available.
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