Two Chicago friends ask, “What age did you turn?” and agree to blame it all on their siblings.

Two Chicago friends ask each other about their bank accounts.  Spank banks.  You know we don’t understand how real banks work.

Two Chicago friends wonder, “Who are the top three people most likely to murder me?” with the essential follow up question, “How do you mail a postcard to the FBI?”  

Two Chicago friends ask, “If you had to fight to the death for a charitable cause, what would it be?”  Answer:  Not Cancer.  Sorry, Cancer.

Two Chicago friends wonder, “How did you get your personality?” and decide Father John Misty had nothing to do with it.

Two Chicago friends ask, "Would you kill Baby Hitler?"

Remarkably, it gets worse from there.