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In this episode, we speak with Lana Manikowski, an author and certified life coach who navigated a seven-year infertility journey that ended at age 44 after multiple rounds of IUIs and IVFs left her without a baby. Lana candidly discusses her decision to forgo further routes like adoption to avoid additional heartache, reframing the choice to stop treatment not as a failure, but as a courageous act of choosing oneself and one’s partnership. Lana opens up about the isolation, self-judgment, and "tiered grief" she experienced when her body didn't work as expected, and how she eventually found the strength to move forward with intention.
Lana shares how she transformed her struggle into a mission to help others rediscover their purpose beyond parenthood. The conversation explores practical strategies for reclaiming joy and relevance when the dream of motherhood does not come to fruition and the ways that Lana introduces a roadmap for life beyond infertility through her coaching program, Thrive After Infertility, her own podcast, and book, So Now What?. We also dive into her creation of The Other’s Day Brunch, an annual event in Chicago designed to provide a supportive community for childless women during Mother’s Day weekend, and her advocacy work with the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) to improve the continuum of care for patients whose treatments do not result in a baby and tips for people tackling the broader social challenges of being childless.
Connect with Lana at https://lanamanikowski.com/.
And get your ticket to the Other’s Day Brunch, May 8-9 2026 at https://lanamanikowski.com/othersday/.
TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
Unexplained infertility, IUI, IVF, childfree, childless after infertility, childless, resources, stories, meaningful lives without children, fertility treatment, So Now What?, Lana Manikowski, ASRM, fertility clinic, guilt, grief, shame, failure, fertility journey, childless not by choice, family building support, infertility resources, navigating infertility, emotional support for infertility, adoption discussions, couples without children, life after infertility, coping with childlessness, infertility treatment options, community for childless individuals, grief and infertility, celebrating motherhood alternatives, connecting during infertility, life coaching for infertility, fertility treatment insights, infertility awareness, support for childless couples, understanding unexplained infertility
CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org
Follow us on social media @allpathsfb
Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!
In this episode, we welcome Rijon Charne, the founding attorney of Sunray Fertility Law. Rijon’s specialization in reproductive health law was a direct result of her personal experience as a cancer survivor and the educational and financial hurdles she faced during her own fertility journey. Just two days after graduating from law school, Rijon was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma. During this time, she encountered significant resistance and a lack of information regarding fertility preservation from her medical providers. Her initial oncologists failed to discuss the impact of chemotherapy on her fertility, and one even dismissed the idea of egg freezing because of the cost and time involved.
This struggle was compounded by insurance obstacles when her insurance company refused to cover her fertility preservation, claiming it was "not medically necessary". Rijon realized the inequity of this situation, noting that while her initial treatment carried a 20% risk of infertility, a potential relapse would require chemotherapy with a nearly 100% infertility rate. These experiences sparked a "fire" in her to address these inequities through legal advocacy.
Although she originally trained to be a litigator and had ignored earlier "signs" pointing toward reproductive law during law school, Rijon ultimately felt that her cancer journey was the catalyst that put her on her destined professional path. She has since collaborated with the Alliance for Fertility Preservation to advocate for and successfully pass a House bill in Texas that requires insurance companies to cover fertility preservation for cancer patients, and now helps others navigate the legal complexities of assisted reproduction, domestic and international surrogacy, and establishing legal parentage.
Connect with Rijon at https://sunrayfertility.com/.
TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
fertility preservation, cancer, fertility treatment, infertility, family building, Sunray Fertility Law, family building, fertility preservation, surrogacy journey, reproductive law, Hodgkin's lymphoma, cancer and fertility, egg freezing, IVF options, LGBTQ family planning, fertility advocacy, emotional support for infertility, navigating fertility treatments, nonprofit family building resources, legal rights for parents, fertility clinic support, surrogacy laws, building diverse families, family formation law, fertility education, support for cancer patients, intended parents, egg donation, sperm donation, gestational carrier, assisted reproduction, legal parentage rights, surrogacy, step-parent adoption, second parent adoption, LGBTQ+, confirmatory adoption, twiblings, gestational surrogacy, traditional surrogacy, international surrogacy, education, reproductive healthcare, reproductive education
CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org
Follow us on social media @allpathsfb
Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!
In this episode, Kristy Koser, a licensed professional clinical counselor specializing in reproductive mental health, shares her family building journey. After years of struggling with infertility and experiencing multiple miscarriages during IUI and IVF cycles, Kristy and her husband eventually welcomed their daughter via surrogacy in 2017. Because Kristy and their gestational carrier lived close to one another in rural Virginia, she was able to be intimately involved in the process, attending every doctor's appointment and "vicariously living" for nine months. Kristy describes the experience as beautiful, but acknowledges the emotional and financial complexities she had to navigate. She struggled with the "mental load" of asking for help from a busy working mother and figuring out where she fit into the equation of her own child's birth. Financially, the couple relied on personal savings, "side hustles"- including a TTC greeting card company Kristy started - and a GoFundMe supported by their extended family.
After the birth of her daughter, their family moved back to Ohio and began considering a second child. Kristy reached out to her original carrier to see if she was available, but learned the woman was already preparing to carry for another family. Because they were unsure if they wanted to use a different gestational carrier, the couple began exploring the foster-to-adopt process. Shortly after, Kristy had a "wild, vivid dream" that her carrier was pregnant with another one of her children, but she soon discovered that she was actually the one who was pregnant. This came as a major surprise, as she had previously been told she likely could not carry a pregnancy herself.
Kristy’s pregnancy occurred during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, which meant she experienced much of it at home with limited medical contact as appointments were scaled back. In August 2020, she gave birth to her son via an emergency C-section. Despite a difficult recovery, she valued the experience because it was something she never thought she would get to have. She now uses this experience with many different family building pathways to inform her work. From her PhD research, which examined how fertility treatments impact couple satisfaction, to training other mental health professionals on how to navigate the complexities of the fertility world, Kristy is dedicated to helping others navigate the challenges of family building with resilience.
Connect with Kristy at https://aporiacounseling.com/.
TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
Mental health, Ohio, Virginia, therapist, couples therapist, Pennsylvania, LIC, infertility, reproductive mental health, fertility treatment, medicated cycle, clomid, letrozole, IUI, pregnancy loss, miscarriage, IVF, genetic testing, surrogacy, gestational carrier, grief, loss, intended parents, insurance coverage, PhD program, greeting card company, TTC Greeting Cards, couples, partners, relationships, couples therapy, resilience, parenting, new parenthood, newborn, pregnancy, expecting after infertility, expecting after loss, parenting after, professional development for mental health providers, coaching, McDonalds french fries, pomegranate juice, infertility support, family building journey, surrogacy process, emotional support for parents, navigating IVF, reproductive health counseling, coping with infertility, family planning resources, mental health in fertility treatment, building a family through surrogacy, personal stories of infertility, understanding IVF treatments, psychological support for fertility, infertility awareness, family building options, fertility clinic resources, emotional challenges in surrogacy, understanding reproductive endocrinology, counseling for intended parents, community support for infertility
CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org
Follow us on social media @allpathsfb
Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we welcome Jacqueline Fitzpatrick, who offers the rare perspective of being both a seasoned IVF nurse with over 15 years of experience and a former IVF patient. Jacqueline shares the candid details of her family building journey, which was complicated by a pituitary gland cyst that prevented her from ovulating. She discusses the clinical challenges she faced, including failing the Clomid challenge and struggling as a "terrible patient" whose hormones were nearly impossible to regulate during IVF cycles.
Our conversation highlights the importance of self-advocacy and listening to one's body, especially when clinical data and personal experience don't align. Jacqueline details her unconventional decision to pivot from IVF back to IUI, a move her doctors hadn't seen before, which eventually led to the birth of her two sons. She humorously recalls the "small victories" along the way, including the time she successfully administered a trigger shot in a bar bathroom in Newport while finally allowing herself to relax and "live her life". This episode also sheds light on contrasting experiences within families; despite sharing the same DNA, Jacqueline and her sister had “completely different experiences with fertility treatments,” reinforcing that there is no "cookie-cutter" path to parenthood.
Finally, Jacqueline discusses her passion project, Chasing Babies, a coaching service she founded to provide fertility coaching and postpartum guidance that clinical settings often lack. She provides insights into current fertility research and explains the medical basis behind popular rituals, such as eating McDonald's french fries after an egg retrieval to help prevent ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome (OHSS). Whether discussing the depths of postpartum depression or the "superstitions" that provide hope, Jacqueline’s story serves as a reminder that while the journey may have twists and turns, every unique track is valid.
Connect with Jacqueline at https://chasingbabiesfertility.com/.
TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
Fertility RN, pre-op, PACU nurse, nursing, clomid challenge, IUI, IVF, pregnancy loss, miscarriage, false positive, PCOS, infertility, parenting after IVF, fertility research, Boston IVF, fertility clinic, clinical research, family building, IVF journey, infertility support, fertility treatments, IVF nurse, IUI success stories, emotional support fertility, fertility coaching, navigating infertility, personal fertility journey, reproductive health, coping with infertility, patient advocacy in IVF, postpartum support, infertility awareness, assisted reproductive technology, fertility clinics, fertility resources, family planning, overcoming infertility challenges, PMAD, postpartum depression, postpartum support, fertility support, self-advocacy, support, fertility coach
CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org
Follow us on social media @allpathsfb
Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!
In this special Valentine’s Day episode of the AllPaths podcast, host Emily is joined by her husband, Andy, for a candid conversation about the impact of fertility and family building challenges on relationships. Now 20 years into their marriage and parents to 13-year-old triplets via IVF, they draw on their own experience to answer a series of questions submitted by the community regarding the strain family building can place on a partnership. They tackle the difficult realities of the process, which they describe as a "0 out of 10" experience that fundamentally redefines one's understanding of being a partner and forces couples to reckon with constant, high-stakes stress. By addressing these listener concerns, they hope to help others navigating the "utter grind" of treatments feel less isolated in their struggle.
The discussion dives deep into the impact of medicalized family building on communication, intimacy, and grief. Emily and Andy address community-submitted queries regarding the "profound sense of powerlessness" often felt by non-carrying partners and the frustration of receiving a diagnosis of "unexplained infertility". They offer unflinchingly honest reflections on the pressure of "scheduled sex," the self-consciousness that arises when a partner feels their body is "failing," and the friction caused by different grieving styles. The couple shares practical strategies for maintaining connection, such as carving out intentional time to enjoy being with each other without talking about family building and using long walks to facilitate difficult conversations. Ultimately, Emily and Andy emphasize the necessity of approaching your partner with curiosity rather than assumptions and treating each other with grace throughout a process that can fundamentally change you as a person. Wherever you are on your journey, this episode provides validation and offers an honest perspective on prioritizing connection.
Resources for navigating family building with a partner:
TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
Relationships, infertility, fertility, sex, intimacy, sex and infertility, Valentine’s Day, fertility treatment, grief, family building, IVF journey, infertility support, relationship challenges, couples communication, emotional support during IVF, navigating fertility treatments, mental health support, couples counseling, infertility and men, masculinity, mental health and infertility, family growth options, coping with pregnancy loss, intimate relationships during IVF, understanding infertility struggles, grief in family building, support for partners in IVF, communication tips for couples, emotional toll of fertility treatments, family planning discussions, overcoming infertility challenges, building a family together
CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org
Follow us on social media @allpathsfb
Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!
In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we sit down with Dr. Carmel Wiseman, a fertility optimization specialist who acts as a "detective" to uncover the hidden barriers preventing people from growing their families. Dr. Carmel shares her eight-year journey, which began at age 41 and included multiple miscarriages, IUIs, and IVF cycles in both the United States and Israel. She details the unique challenges she faced, including a significant childhood medical error where her thyroid was accidentally removed, and her eventual discovery that mycotoxin illness (mold exposure) was a primary factor in her own fertility struggles. Ultimately, her journey was resolved through an empowered choice rather than a medical success. She reached a point where she felt she could either continue trying to have a baby at age 50 or use her experience to help others avoid the same lengthy, confusing struggle. She chose the latter, becoming the guide she wished she had during her own journey. Today, she shares that “95% of the time, I'm just 100% at peace with it,” finding joy and fulfillment as an "auntie" and by contributing to the successful family-building stories of her clients.
The discussion explores Dr. Carmel’s comprehensive approach to fertility, which utilizes functional medicine and genomic testing to evaluate the health of both partners. She emphasizes the importance of looking beyond hormones to investigate environmental toxins, metabolic health, and male-factor issues such as sperm DNA fragmentation. Dr. Carmel advocates for couples to "get curious" and begin optimizing their health ideally a year or two before trying to conceive, as addressing issues like heavy metal toxicity or epigenetic risk factors requires time. She explains that while the goal is often a healthy baby, the process of functional optimization provides couples with health management tools that last a lifetime, regardless of the outcome.
Get in touch with Dr. Carmel:
TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
IUI, fertility over 40, pregnancy loss, miscarriage, TTC over 40, international fertility treatment, IVF, thyroid, donor egg, egg donor IVF, cost of IVF, cost of fertility treatment, twin loss, miscarriage, functional medicine, environmental toxins, micotoxin exposure, micotoxin illness, childless after infertility, childless after family building challenges, integrative medicine, male factor infertility, sperm fragmentation, semen analysis, Israel, Australia, oxidative stress testing, first-trimester miscarriages, fertility optimization, GrowBaby, genetic testing
CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org
Follow us on social media @allpathsfb
Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!
In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Malcolm "Kip" McKenzie, a retired OBGYN with 35 years of experience with 20 years of focus on treatment of endometriosis, particularly complex surgical management. We discuss the complex and often misunderstood reality of living with endometriosis, which can impact many people’s ability to conceive. Reflecting on the misconceptions surrounding the condition, Kip acknowledges his own past errors in understanding and treatment, highlighting the need for better education and advocacy.
The conversation touches on the relationship between endometriosis and fertility, discussing how outdated views can hinder proper diagnosis and treatment. Kip emphasizes the importance of understanding the origins of endometriosis, moving away from myths and towards a more empowering and scientifically grounded paradigm. Kip explains that endometriosis is likely a single embryologic event occurring at six weeks gestation rather than the result of "retrograde menstruation” as doctors have incorrectly hypothesized for the past century. He candidly addresses his past clinical mistakes to highlight how inadequate provider training and medical gaslighting often leave patients feeling traumatized and ignored. To combat these issues, his clinical focus in semi-retirement is on a specialized surgical fellowship designed to teach doctors effective excision techniques for removing the disease entirely.
Beyond training surgeons, Kip is working to elevate patient voices, advocating for improved care and a greater understanding of the condition as a co-founder of The Endometriosis Alliance of Massachusetts (TEAM). TEAM is currently fighting for state legislation that will create a dedicated task force to address the lack of funding, public awareness, and research surrounding this serious condition. This episode serves as both a scientific deep-dive into endometriosis and a call to action for "EndoWarriors" and providers to continue pushing for systemic change in healthcare.
Visit https://allpathsfb.org/ma-advocacy/ to learn how you can advocate for improved care and understanding and find endometriosis resources and patient stories here.
TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
Endometriosis, retrograde menstruation, advocacy, The Endometriosis Alliance of Massachusetts (TEAM), endowarriors, psycho-emotional trauma, medical gaslighting, infertility, fertility, excision surgery, self-advocacy, validation, specialized surgical fellowship, patient advocacy, hysterectomy, fertility struggles, family building, women's health, reproductive health, infertility awareness, endo advocacy, chronic pain, gynecological health, emotional support, patient empowerment, surgical treatment, endometriosis education, healthcare provider training, patient experiences, advocacy tools, mental health, hormonal health, pelvic pain, endometriosis community
CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org
Follow us on social media @allpathsfb
Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!
In this episode, we talk with Nancy Weatherby, the Intended Parent Outreach Manager at Circle Surrogacy, about her personal and professional experience with family building through surrogacy. Nancy shares her story of being diagnosed at age 17 with MRKH syndrome, a rare birth defect that typically means a person is born with ovaries but without a uterus. She details the medical complexities of this condition, which for her included having only one kidney and facing significant hurdles during IVF. Despite these challenges, Nancy was encouraged by a forward-thinking doctor who "planted the seed" of hope by predicting that future advancements in IVF and surrogacy would one day allow her to become a parent.
Nancy’s path to parenthood involved two different surrogacy journeys that highlight the different ways to navigate the process. Her first child was born through an independent match after an initial agency experience proved to be a poor fit; however, Nancy notes that managing the legal, financial, and insurance aspects herself was like a "part-time job.” For her "sibling journey," she turned to her sister-in-law, who offered to be their surrogate after their previous gestational carrier was unable to move forward due to a medical complication. These experiences eventually led Nancy to a 22-year career at Circle Surrogacy, where she now uses her personal background to educate and advocate for intended parents. She strongly recommends working with an agency to ensure legal security and to allow parents to focus on building a bond with their surrogate rather than managing logistical "moving parts."
The conversation also provides valuable advice for those struggling with fertility, emphasizing the importance of thorough research and peer support. Nancy discusses the "grieving process" of realizing one cannot carry a pregnancy and suggests that connecting with a therapist or a support group can be vital for emotional health. She also highlights the success of normalizing birth stories with her now-adult children, who grew up knowing they were "special deliveries" made possible by the kindness of others. Ultimately, Nancy encourages intended parents to be open about their needs and to find a path that feels right for their specific family goals.
Are you looking for support as an intended parent? Get in touch with Nancy and Circle Surrogacy at [email protected] and learn more about AllPaths support group and resources for intended parents at https://allpathsfb.org/resource-library/surrogacy-resources/.
TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
Surrogacy, gestational carrier, Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser (MRKH) Syndrome, congenital disorder, fertility treatment, IVF, intended parent, surrogacy agency, independent match, Circle Surrogacy, peer groups, therapy, mental health support, grief, talking about surrogacy with children, family building, surrogacy journey, MRKH syndrome, IVF success, parenting options, emotional support, surrogacy agency, adoption process, intended parents, surrogacy stories, peer support groups, surrogacy laws, family growth, navigating infertility, building a family, surrogacy resources, surrogacy benefits, support for intended parents, surrogacy misconceptions, journey to parenthood
CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org
Follow us on social media @allpathsfb
Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!
This episode features Emma Berens, the Federal Government Affairs Manager for the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) who brings a unique perspective to her work as an IVF baby herself. Growing up in Massachusetts, Emma and her sister were born through IVF after their mother, Patrice, navigated unexplained infertility with the help of the state’s historic insurance coverage mandate. Emma shares how her family's open and positive framing of her "petri dish" origins instilled a deep appreciation for medical science and innovation from a young age, leading her to a career dedicated to protecting reproductive healthcare.
The conversation explores Emma’s transition into reproductive health advocacy, a path solidified by the overturning of Roe v. Wade and her mother's prescient warning that IVF access would eventually face opposition. Emma highlights her professional efforts to change policies and perspectives on the federal and state levels, emphasizing the power of patient stories to move the needle even among skeptical or religious lawmakers. She offers practical advice for those looking to get involved in the movement, suggesting that plugging into local coalitions is the most effective way to find community while protecting access to treatment.
A major portion of the discussion focuses on the rise of Restorative Reproductive Medicine (RRM), which Emma describes as an ideologically driven rebranding of diagnostics used to exclude or limit access to evidence-based treatments like IVF. She warns that RRM legislation can be deceptive by framing itself as "holistic" or "patient-centered" while it actually removes choices and can lead to detrimental delays in care. Ultimately, the episode serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of community support and the ongoing need for nonpartisan advocacy to ensure the right to build a family remains a protected, fundamental priority.
Visit https://allpathsfb.org/advocacy-work/ to get involved!
Today’s episode is brought to you by The Herbal Fertility Handbook by Liane Moccia. For a trusted, holistic resource to support your path to pregnancy, The Herbal Fertility Handbook is available wherever books are sold.
TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
IVF, insurance coverage, IVF baby, conceived through IVF, insurance coverage mandate, Massachusetts, ASRM, federal advocacy, advocacy, healthcare, infertility, unexplained infertility, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, fertility treatment, science, patient journey, patient advocate, Catholicism, religion, state-level advocacy, South Carolina, personhood, insurance mandate, California, Tennessee, regulate IVF clinics, pro-family, patient stories, restorative reproductive medicine, RRM, AMA, protecting access to care, patient-centered care, evidence-based treatment, reproductive health advocacy, infertility resources, patient advocacy in fertility, IVF experiences, reproductive endocrinology, mental health in fertility treatment, infertility awareness, community support for infertility, reproductive technology, advocacy for reproductive rights, fertility treatment options
CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org
Follow us on social media @allpathsfb
Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!
In this first episode of 2026, we talk with Vermont State Representative Ashley Bartley, 2025 AllPaths Advocacy Award winner, about her intertwined journey of family building and political service. Ashley, a fourth-generation Vermonter, recounts her personal experience with pregnancy loss and how the desire to grow her family eventually led her to seek public office, in fact making the decision to run for office while she was in labor. Now a champion for legislative reforms aimed at improving the lives of growing Vermont families, Ashley emphasizes how housing, workforce retention, and healthcare are interconnected issues that affect the state’s ability to support young families.
Our conversation highlights Rep. Bartley's advocacy for bill H.302, which would require private and public insurance in Vermont to provide coverage for fertility care. Ashley explains how this legislation is vital for the state's economy and workforce, as it will help retain younger residents who might otherwise relocate to neighboring states for better reproductive health benefits, as Vermont is the only remaining state in the Northeast that does not have a fertility insurance law. She urges listeners, both Vermonters and those who live outside of the state, to become "squeaky wheels" in the effort to ensure these family building supports move off the "wall" and into law. Together our persistence and shared effort can help support the collective "family that is Vermont".
For the latest on Vermont Fertility Advocacy efforts, visit https://allpathsfb.org/vt-advocacy/ and join the Vermont Fertility Advocacy group on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/vtfertilityadvocacy/.
To share your story and support of H.302 with Rep. Bartley directly, you can email her at [email protected].
TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:
Pregnancy loss, miscarriage, fertility healthcare, insurance coverage, Vermont, fertility insurance coverage, Vermont health care, VT, Vermont families, H.302, Noah Kahan, family building, fertility advocacy, Vermont family support, miscarriage support, child care crisis, maternal health, reproductive health, blended families, emotional support for families, family growth journey, navigating pregnancy loss, family planning resources, community support for families, infertility awareness, Vermont legislation, family building stories, emotional resilience in family growth, family planning challenges, supportive friendships in parenting, Vermont reproductive policies
CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org
Follow us on social media @allpathsfb
Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!
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