In this episode we welcome Lisa Rosenthal, President of the AllPaths Family Building Board of Directors. Lisa shares her deeply personal and often challenging six-and-a-half year journey through infertility, which began when she was 26 and "very naive" about conception. She recounts undergoing extensive fertility treatments, including being one of the first patients in the US to use Lupron injections. Lisa discusses the significant challenges of the time, noting that IVF success rates were only around 19% for the best candidates, and the personal struggle of balancing privacy with the need for support, often feeling "the nastiest, meanest, infertile person in the world". She famously made the decision to openly share her journey with 200 colleagues, a move that unexpectedly revealed 15 others in the same struggle, including two best friends who were unaware of each other's experiences, profoundly shaping her commitment to advocacy and transparency around fertility and family building challenges.

Lisa eventually achieved her dream of parenthood, welcoming three children. Her journey profoundly impacted her professional life, leading her to dedicate 37 years and counting to patient advocacy in this space. She highlights that despite advancements in science and technology, the biggest patient complaint remains not feeling seen and heard, emphasizing the critical need for a "human touch" in fertility care that often gets lost. Lisa shares valuable advice, encouraging those struggling to connect with trustworthy non-profit resources like AllPaths, emphasizing the importance of open communication and setting boundaries with friends and family during treatment, and promoting "radical self-acceptance" throughout the process. Her ambition for AllPaths is to triple its reach so that fewer people will say, "I didn't know you existed" when they needed support most.

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

Infertility, fertility treatment, patient advocate, American Fertility Association, magazine, Lupron, IVF, pregnancy rate, pregnancy loss, advocacy, therapy, resources, support, boundaries, legislation, genetic testing, community support, isolation, board service, volunteer, AllPaths Board of Directors, First Fertility, support group, connection, communication, radical self-acceptance, unsolicited advice, for family and friends, family building, infertility support, fertility treatment, reproductive health, patient advocacy, IVF journey, emotional support, parenting journey, family growth, AllPaths Family Building, community support, fertility awareness, reproductive endocrinology, coping with infertility, parenting advice, emotional wellbeing, fertility resources, infertility stories, peer support groups, navigating family building

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

This episode of the AllPaths podcast features Bruce, an attorney in the Boston area. Prior to becoming a lawyer, Bruce and his husband built their family through surrogacy with gamete donation, going through the process twice with different surrogates in different states. After leaving his previous career to become a stay-at-home parent, his own family building experience and encouragement from his husband led him to law school and ultimately his solo practice Modern Family Law, which focuses exclusively on matters related to family formation through assisted procreation.

Our conversation delves into the emotional journey of family building, noting that gay men pursuing surrogacy often begin with optimism, contrasting with the skepticism or despair some heterosexual couples may experience after long struggles with infertility. Bruce also discusses his role as an advocate in Massachusetts, particularly his significant involvement in the coalition to pass the Massachusetts Parentage Act (MPA), which was finally signed into law in 2024 after over eight years of effort. He explains that the MPA provides much-needed clarity on parentage for families created through modern methods like gamete donation, embryo donation, and surrogacy, moving beyond traditional definitions. The Act simplifies the process for intended parents to establish legal parentage and clearly states that donors are not parents, offering crucial protections and streamlining legal procedures. 

Beyond his legal practice and advocacy work, Bruce also teaches at his alma mater, Northeastern University School of Law. There he helps shape the future of family law, a specialty that in his eyes goes beyond assisted procreation or family formation, to touch everyone and helps to shape people's identities and relationships in the world.

LINKS:

Connect with Bruce at modernfamily.law

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

Third-party reproduction, assisted-procreation law, family formation law, assisted reproduction technology law, private practice, LGBTQ+, same-sex couple, intended parents, surrogate, gestational carrier, surrogacy, egg donation, gamete donation, embryo donation, remaining embryos, full genetic siblings, egg donor, sperm donor, known donor, family law, teaching, Northeastern School of Law, advocacy, Massachusetts Parentage Act, parentage, parental rights, family building, surrogacy, gamete donation, LGBTQ parenting, Massachusetts Parentage Act, assisted reproduction, family law, infertility solutions, intended parents, emotional journey to parenthood, family formation law, legal rights in surrogacy, navigating fertility clinics, parentage laws, advocacy in family law, third party procreation, egg donation, embryo donation, support for LGBTQ families, establishing parentage

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

In this episode, we welcome Annika, an attorney specializing in assisted reproductive technology (ART), who offers a unique perspective as both a professional in the field and someone who built her own family through reciprocal IVF. Annika shares her personal journey with her wife, including the decision to use reciprocal IVF (her wife's egg, Annika carried) and the financial and emotional considerations that guided their path. The conversation highlights the significant financial hurdles of fertility treatment and the inequity of insurance coverage that exists, even in states like Massachusetts that have a fertility mandate. In addition to being their preference for non-clinical reasons, reciprocal IVF was medically recommended for their family, but was considered "elective" because they did not attempt conception "the old-fashioned way" or through IUI/ICSI first. 

A 2013 graduate of BU Law, Annika studied assisted reproductive technology (ART) and was particularly interested in ARTs intersection with "intent-based parentage". A past co-chair of the Massachusetts LGBTQ Bar Association and current GLAD Law Board Member, Annika shares her passion for her practice, which combines estate law, family formation, confirmatory adoptions, and pro bono name changes for the transgender community. She also discusses her advocacy work for the Massachusetts Parentage Act (MPA), sharing how her daughter, Maya – affectionately known as the "MPA baby" – was born during the campaign and even participated in its signing.

In both her practice and her own personal experience, Annika has witnessed the societal stigma surrounding fertility treatments, contrasting the openness in the queer community about needing medical intervention with the shame often experienced by straight couples. She criticizes outdated terms like "social infertility" and "elective" treatments, emphasizing their harm in insurance advocacy. The importance of updated terminology isn’t just reserved for during the family building process, but is also important for when talking about parenting, from intent-based parentage in law to the need for updated language in medical forms that are more inclusive of diverse family structures.

LINKS:

Connect with Annika: https://www.absesq.com/

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

family building, reciprocal IVF, LGBTQ family planning, fertility treatment options, assisted reproductive technology, parenting with same-sex couples, emotional support for parents, fertility insurance coverage, navigating fertility challenges, queer family advocacy, medical history for families, parenting and legal rights, family formation law, financial aspects of IVF, support for LGBTQ parents, personal experiences in family building, family planning resources, parenting journeys, overcoming fertility stigma, legal issues in family creation, Attorney, assisted reproduction technology law, reciprocal IVF, LGBTQ+ fertility, two moms, same-sex couples, queer couple, queer family, donor sperm, donor conception, PCOS, natural cycle, cost of fertility treatment, fertility, family building, Massachusetts Parentage Act, insurance coverage for fertility care, confirmatory adoption, social infertility, inclusive insurance mandates, family formation law, intent-based parenting, intent-based parentage

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we speak with Will Baird, a father of three who grew up with a unique perspective on family building. Will shares how his father, a PhD in animal sciences who began working in human IVF in the late 80s/early 90s, exposed him to the lab environment from a young age. He and his twin sister, conceived through IUI, have fond memories of going to the IVF lab with his father on weekends. As an adult, Will worked alongside his father and ultimately became a fertility patient himself. Will openly shares the emotional experience of going through IVF as a patient, even while working in the field, highlighting in particular the challenge of managing expectations through the process of attrition – the natural decrease in the number of eggs and embryos from retrieval to blastocyst stage. 

Inspired by the stress and false alarms associated with traditional cryostorage tank monitoring using simple methods like yardsticks and temperature probes that don't indicate liquid nitrogen levels, Will talks about the shift his career path took to address this critical need. He is now CEO and co-founder of Boreas Monitoring Solutions, a company providing a weight-based monitoring system that sits under storage tanks to infer the liquid nitrogen level. Will's focus is on raising awareness about this new technology and educating the next generation of embryologists about safer storage methods. Reflecting on his path, Will is grateful for being able to help families and contribute to the field in a way he feels has a significant impact, including keeping his last embryo safe as it sits in a tank monitored by his system.

LINKS:

Learn more about Boreas Monitoring Solutions at https://www.boreasmonitoring.com/

Connect with Will on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/william-baird-1b930195

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

Unexplained infertility, IVF, genetic testing, IVF lab, lab work, cryostorage, quality control, Boreas Monitoring Solutions, family building, IVF journey, emotional support in fertility, infertility struggles, IUI, assisted reproductive technology, managing expectations in IVF, parenting after IVF, egg retrieval process, embryo storage, fertility clinic support, family growth stories, infertility resources, navigating infertility, family building podcast, various monitoring IVF, understanding IVF success rates, attrition, embryologists, emotional journey of IVF, fertility awareness, connecting with IVF patients

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

This episode features speaker and author Jodi Mitchel Tolman, who shares how she and her husband navigated multiple paths over six years to build their family after facing challenges with fertility. Their family ultimately consisted of three children: one genetic child from a previous marriage, one adopted daughter, and one son born via donor egg. Now all grown, Jodi was inspired to write their story in her recently released book, One From Each Column: My 46-Year Trek from Abusive Childhood to Elusive Motherhood.

Throughout the conversation, Jodi details the various paths she took, starting with miscarriages, followed by unsuccessful IUI and three rounds of IVF using her own eggs. She recounts her "hair-raising" adoption story, which involved her daughter Chloe's birth mother changing her mind multiple times and an eight-month legal process, while emphasizing that this traumatic experience is infrequent and not the norm in adoption. She also shares the successful journey of having her youngest son, Jack, via donor egg at age 46.  

Jodi’s story not only tells of her road to parenthood, but explores how her early challenging life experiences fostered the resilience needed to overcome obstacles in family building. A key takeaway from Jodi's advice is that the ultimate goal is parenting and that there is zero difference in how you love a child regardless of the road they took to find their way home. 

LINKS:

https://www.joditolmanspeaks.com. 

https://www.instagram.com/joditolmanspeaks 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/joditolmanspeaks

https://www.facebook.com/joditolmanspeaks

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

family building, adoption stories, infertility support, parenting journey, donor egg process, IVF experiences, secondary infertility, emotional support for parents, parenting through challenges, family dynamics, navigating adoption, fertility treatment, conversations with children about family, parenting goals, resilience in parenting, family building options, personal stories of motherhood, open adoption discussions, coping with miscarriage, family support networks, Jodi Mitchel Tolman, Adoption, Donor Egg, IUI, miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, resilience, One from Each Column, Parenting, family dynamics, communication, personal boundaries, support, birth mother, origin story, secondary infertility, normalizing conversations

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

In this episode of the AllPaths Podcast, Matt Smith, founder of Wandering Soul Beer Company, shares his personal experience with stillbirth and how this profound loss directly inspired the creation of his brewery and its flagship beer, Melody Maker. Matt and his wife Abby were expecting their first child and had just purchased their first house when their journey took a tragic turn when their daughter, Melody, passed away at 35 and a half weeks gestation. Adding to the trauma of losing Melody, Abby had to undergo emergency surgery after Melody was delivered. Matt recounts being in the hospital, seeing Abby taken away, and wondering if he would ever see her again. This “double whammy sort of situation” left both he and Abby feeling broken and unsure where to turn. In the days and weeks following, Matt and Abby found help through friends, family, hospital teams, others who had experienced stillbirth, and AllPaths (then Resolve New England). Matt acknowledged how difficult it was to take the first step in seeking support and how isolating it all felt when some family and friends said nothing because they were afraid of saying the wrong thing. 

Matt explains that his experience with Melody is directly tied to his work with Wandering Soul. His main beer, Melody Maker, is dedicated to her, with the story printed on the can. Creating Wandering Soul has allowed him to process many of his feelings, even though he sometimes feels like an "alien" in the typically "fun and happy beer" world. This unexpected platform has reached many people, prompting them to reach out with their own stories of grief and loss. Matt shares how he has realized the importance of being honest about how he is doing, contrasting it with a societal tendency to avoid talking about sadness, and is committed to honoring his daughter's memory, while raising awareness and normalizing discussions around grief through his openness with their story.

As Matt discusses how he and Abby continued to grow their family, the conversation underscores that grief is not linear and does not disappear just because they have gone on to have two living daughters. Matt and Abby make sure to talk about Melody with her sisters, acknowledging that she is just as much a part of their family as they are. By being open about Melody within their family and the larger community, Matt hopes he is helping to normalize conversations about grief and family building struggles, encouraging others to find community and realize they are not alone. 

Connect with Matt at https://wanderingsoulbeer.com/story/

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

Pregnancy loss, stillbirth, maternal near miss, grief, loss, communal grief, community support, hypervigilance, trauma response, family building support, pregnancy loss resources, stillbirth awareness, grieving process, parenting after loss, community support for families, emotional healing through grief, stories of loss and recovery, family building journeys, support for grieving parents, mental health and parenting, coping with stillbirth, raising awareness of pregnancy loss, Wandering Soul beer, grief and trauma response, connecting through shared experiences, navigating family building challenges, honoring lost children, pregnancy after loss, support for fathers in grief

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we welcome guest Shannon Cook to share her journey. Shannon recounts her experience navigating fertility struggles, including early attempts at conception, misdiagnoses like hydrosalpinx and stage three endometriosis, and multiple miscarriages. Despite feeling defeated at times, she emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy and trusting your intuition throughout the process. Shannon's journey ultimately led her to IVF, surgery to address a tubal issue she suspected early on, and finally, a successful transfer. She shares openly about the emotional rollercoaster of IVF, the impact of the journey on her relationships, and the process of grieving her losses. Currently ending her second trimester of pregnancy, Shannon talks about resilience, self-care, and finding community throughout her journey.

Shannon also discusses practical aspects of coping, such as the pitfalls of relying too heavily on Dr. Google or even ChatGPT for emotional support, and the importance of setting boundaries on information seeking. She talks about how taking mindful breaks and engaging in activities unrelated to the fertility journey have helped her maintain a sense of self. Shannon has also found it helpful to get involved in fertility advocacy work, starting with sharing her story in small circles like her yoga classes and aiming for broader conversations and larger advocacy events to break down the stigma surrounding fertility challenges.

Connect with Shannon on Instagram @shannoncookyoga

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

Family Building, Fertility Journey, Fertility Struggles, Fertility Challenges, Infertility, Miscarriage, Pregnancy Loss, Hydrosalpinx, Endometriosis, Misdiagnosis, IVF, In Vitro Fertilization, Egg Retrieval, Embryo Transfer, Euploid Embryo, Surgery, Self-Advocacy ,Trust Your Intuition , Grief, Processing Loss, Relationships, Partner Support, Friendship Support, Family Support , Coping Mechanisms, Therapy, Mindfulness, Anxiety, Information Overload, Dr. Google, ChatGPT, Setting Boundaries, Advocacy, Stigma, Community, Support, Resilience, Self-Care, Not Rare, Not Shameful, Don't Compare Yourself, Ask Questions, Dr. Bortoletto, Boston IVF, Dr. Jessica Zucker, "I Had a Miscarriage", IVF journey, fertility struggles, infertility support, emotional support, reproductive health, self-advocacy, fertility challenges, endometriosis awareness, community support, mental health during pregnancy, coping with miscarriage, fertility education, mindful practices, family growth stories, women's health advocacy, navigating fertility treatments, holistic family building, fertility yoga

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

This episode features Lauren Hart Clancy, a perinatal advocate, AllPaths peer group leader, parent through IVF, and co-chair of the 2025 Footsteps for Family Building Walk. Lauren shares her journey through multiple IVF cycles, a delayed male-factor infertility diagnosis, and health complications after an egg retrieval. Throughout the conversation, Lauren talks about the vital role of emotional support and finding community, highlighting the significant impact a supportive provider and the AllPaths community had in the journey to her second son. A longtime educator and advocate focused on maternal and child health, Lauren shares how she transitioned from being a participant in support groups to becoming an AllPaths group leader, helping others navigate their own transition to pregnancy and parenthood after a complex family building journey. She also discusses her advocacy work with the Boston Chapter of Chamber of Mothers, focusing on the need for systemic support for families via affordable childcare, paid leave, and improving maternal health outcomes and emphasizing that the journey to parenthood is not just a personal struggle but a societal issue as well.

Connect with Lauren on Instagram @VillageAdvocate and at the Boston chapter of Chamber of Mothers at https://chamberofmothers.com/ or by emailing [email protected].

And join Lauren this fall at our Footsteps for Family Building Walk - sign up at https://bit.ly/FootstepsforFamilyBuilding2025.

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

Public health advocate, volunteer, peer group leader, 2025 Footsteps for Family Building Walk, fertility testing, male factor infertility, depression, anxiety, grief, shame, fertility treatment, IVF, PGT-A testing, pregnancy loss, biochemical pregnancy, testicular extraction, expecting after infertility and/or loss, parenting after infertility/loss, therapy, community support, Chamber of Mothers, accessible childcare, maternal health, paid family medical leave, family building, fertility journey, IVF support, emotional support for families, parenting after infertility, reproductive health, male factor infertility, fertility treatment options, community support for parents, mental health in family building, coping with pregnancy loss, advocacy for parents, infertility awareness, maternal health advocacy, peer support networks, AllPaths Family Building, navigating fertility challenges, emotional resilience in parenting, finding the right fertility clinic, family planning resources

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

In this episode, we speak with Lauren Delaney, a co-chair for AllPaths’ annual Footsteps for Family Building Walk. Lauren shares about the roads she and her husband Ryan travelled to build their family. Ryan faced significant health issues including two kidney transplants, so together Lauren and Ryan navigated fertility preservation, fertility treatment, and multiple losses. They recognize the toll this journey can have on mental health and relationships. Now parenting two "rainbow babies" conceived through IVF, Lauren shares how she found healing and community by helping others. At her former workplace, she started the Pathways to Parenthood employee resource group to provide a safe space for colleagues who were navigating family building challenges, which led to increased fertility coverage and pregnancy loss bereavement leave. Lauren’s own experiences have led her to be an enthusiastic advocate for the importance of community when facing a difficult journey and finding people who will sit with you during challenging times.

Join Lauren this fall at our Footsteps for Family Building Walk! Sign up at https://bit.ly/FootstepsforFamilyBuilding2025.

Learn more about Lauren's employee resource group and how you can advocate for family building support in your workplace at https://allpathsfb.org/family-building-support-at-work/.

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

family building, infertility support, IVF journey, emotional health, parenting challenges, fertility treatment, family growth, mental health during IVF, couples therapy, coping with infertility, family planning, reproductive health, fertility resources, support groups for parents, navigating IVF, relationship during fertility treatment, family building community, pregnancy loss support, fertility awareness, personal stories of IVF, Footsteps for Family Building Walk, kidney transplants, health complications, Sperm Banking, fertility preservation, IVF, miscarriages, Chemical Pregnancies, Testicular Sperm Extraction (TESE) Procedure, employee resource group, Pathways to Parenthood, Workplace Policy Changes, increased fertility coverage,pregnancy loss, bereavement leave

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

In this episode, we welcome Dr. Aaron Styer, a reproductive endocrinologist, medical director of CCRM Boston, and AllPaths Board Member. Dr. Styer shares his professional journey into fertility medicine, sparked by his grandmother and mother who were both nurses, and a desire to build meaningful relationships with patients. The discussion covers what patients should consider when visiting a fertility specialist for the first time, how to approach second opinions, and the sensitive process of discussing alternative family-building options like donor conception. Dr. Styer emphasizes the emotional challenges of infertility, including loss, anxiety, and loneliness, advocating for open communication and acknowledging these feelings alongside medical considerations. Throughout the conversation, Dr. Styer underscores the importance of maintaining an open mind and a flexible approach, reminding listeners that while the journey to parenthood may not always follow a straight path, there are many avenues to explore. 

LINKS: 

CCRM Boston: https://www.ccrmivf.com/boston/ccrm-chestnut-hill-office/

Want to get in touch with Dr. Styer? Email [email protected] and we’ll pass your message along!

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

Reproductive endocrinologist, CCRM Boston, fertility treatment, infertility, Vanderbilt, medical school, maternity, obgyn, birth, patient support, empowerment, family building, fertility preservation, cancer and fertility, gender transition, fertility benefits, egg freezing, IVF, embryo transfers, fertility testing, second opinion, first appointment, treatment cycle, donor conception, adoption, loss, grief, anxiety, loneliness, jealousy, mental health support

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!