AllPaths Podcast

This episode features speaker and author Jodi Mitchel Tolman, who shares how she and her husband navigated multiple paths over six years to build their family after facing challenges with fertility. Their family ultimately consisted of three children: one genetic child from a previous marriage, one adopted daughter, and one son born via donor egg. Now all grown, Jodi was inspired to write their story in her recently released book, One From Each Column: My 46-Year Trek from Abusive Childhood to Elusive Motherhood.

Throughout the conversation, Jodi details the various paths she took, starting with miscarriages, followed by unsuccessful IUI and three rounds of IVF using her own eggs. She recounts her "hair-raising" adoption story, which involved her daughter Chloe's birth mother changing her mind multiple times and an eight-month legal process, while emphasizing that this traumatic experience is infrequent and not the norm in adoption. She also shares the successful journey of having her youngest son, Jack, via donor egg at age 46.  

Jodi’s story not only tells of her road to parenthood, but explores how her early challenging life experiences fostered the resilience needed to overcome obstacles in family building. A key takeaway from Jodi's advice is that the ultimate goal is parenting and that there is zero difference in how you love a child regardless of the road they took to find their way home. 

LINKS:

https://www.joditolmanspeaks.com. 

https://www.instagram.com/joditolmanspeaks 

https://www.linkedin.com/in/joditolmanspeaks

https://www.facebook.com/joditolmanspeaks

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

family building, adoption stories, infertility support, parenting journey, donor egg process, IVF experiences, secondary infertility, emotional support for parents, parenting through challenges, family dynamics, navigating adoption, fertility treatment, conversations with children about family, parenting goals, resilience in parenting, family building options, personal stories of motherhood, open adoption discussions, coping with miscarriage, family support networks, Jodi Mitchel Tolman, Adoption, Donor Egg, IUI, miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, resilience, One from Each Column, Parenting, family dynamics, communication, personal boundaries, support, birth mother, origin story, secondary infertility, normalizing conversations

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

In this episode of the AllPaths Podcast, Matt Smith, founder of Wandering Soul Beer Company, shares his personal experience with stillbirth and how this profound loss directly inspired the creation of his brewery and its flagship beer, Melody Maker. Matt and his wife Abby were expecting their first child and had just purchased their first house when their journey took a tragic turn when their daughter, Melody, passed away at 35 and a half weeks gestation. Adding to the trauma of losing Melody, Abby had to undergo emergency surgery after Melody was delivered. Matt recounts being in the hospital, seeing Abby taken away, and wondering if he would ever see her again. This “double whammy sort of situation” left both he and Abby feeling broken and unsure where to turn. In the days and weeks following, Matt and Abby found help through friends, family, hospital teams, others who had experienced stillbirth, and AllPaths (then Resolve New England). Matt acknowledged how difficult it was to take the first step in seeking support and how isolating it all felt when some family and friends said nothing because they were afraid of saying the wrong thing. 

Matt explains that his experience with Melody is directly tied to his work with Wandering Soul. His main beer, Melody Maker, is dedicated to her, with the story printed on the can. Creating Wandering Soul has allowed him to process many of his feelings, even though he sometimes feels like an "alien" in the typically "fun and happy beer" world. This unexpected platform has reached many people, prompting them to reach out with their own stories of grief and loss. Matt shares how he has realized the importance of being honest about how he is doing, contrasting it with a societal tendency to avoid talking about sadness, and is committed to honoring his daughter's memory, while raising awareness and normalizing discussions around grief through his openness with their story.

As Matt discusses how he and Abby continued to grow their family, the conversation underscores that grief is not linear and does not disappear just because they have gone on to have two living daughters. Matt and Abby make sure to talk about Melody with her sisters, acknowledging that she is just as much a part of their family as they are. By being open about Melody within their family and the larger community, Matt hopes he is helping to normalize conversations about grief and family building struggles, encouraging others to find community and realize they are not alone. 

Connect with Matt at https://wanderingsoulbeer.com/story/

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

Pregnancy loss, stillbirth, maternal near miss, grief, loss, communal grief, community support, hypervigilance, trauma response, family building support, pregnancy loss resources, stillbirth awareness, grieving process, parenting after loss, community support for families, emotional healing through grief, stories of loss and recovery, family building journeys, support for grieving parents, mental health and parenting, coping with stillbirth, raising awareness of pregnancy loss, Wandering Soul beer, grief and trauma response, connecting through shared experiences, navigating family building challenges, honoring lost children, pregnancy after loss, support for fathers in grief

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we welcome guest Shannon Cook to share her journey. Shannon recounts her experience navigating fertility struggles, including early attempts at conception, misdiagnoses like hydrosalpinx and stage three endometriosis, and multiple miscarriages. Despite feeling defeated at times, she emphasizes the importance of self-advocacy and trusting your intuition throughout the process. Shannon's journey ultimately led her to IVF, surgery to address a tubal issue she suspected early on, and finally, a successful transfer. She shares openly about the emotional rollercoaster of IVF, the impact of the journey on her relationships, and the process of grieving her losses. Currently ending her second trimester of pregnancy, Shannon talks about resilience, self-care, and finding community throughout her journey.

Shannon also discusses practical aspects of coping, such as the pitfalls of relying too heavily on Dr. Google or even ChatGPT for emotional support, and the importance of setting boundaries on information seeking. She talks about how taking mindful breaks and engaging in activities unrelated to the fertility journey have helped her maintain a sense of self. Shannon has also found it helpful to get involved in fertility advocacy work, starting with sharing her story in small circles like her yoga classes and aiming for broader conversations and larger advocacy events to break down the stigma surrounding fertility challenges.

Connect with Shannon on Instagram @shannoncookyoga

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

Family Building, Fertility Journey, Fertility Struggles, Fertility Challenges, Infertility, Miscarriage, Pregnancy Loss, Hydrosalpinx, Endometriosis, Misdiagnosis, IVF, In Vitro Fertilization, Egg Retrieval, Embryo Transfer, Euploid Embryo, Surgery, Self-Advocacy ,Trust Your Intuition , Grief, Processing Loss, Relationships, Partner Support, Friendship Support, Family Support , Coping Mechanisms, Therapy, Mindfulness, Anxiety, Information Overload, Dr. Google, ChatGPT, Setting Boundaries, Advocacy, Stigma, Community, Support, Resilience, Self-Care, Not Rare, Not Shameful, Don't Compare Yourself, Ask Questions, Dr. Bortoletto, Boston IVF, Dr. Jessica Zucker, "I Had a Miscarriage", IVF journey, fertility struggles, infertility support, emotional support, reproductive health, self-advocacy, fertility challenges, endometriosis awareness, community support, mental health during pregnancy, coping with miscarriage, fertility education, mindful practices, family growth stories, women's health advocacy, navigating fertility treatments, holistic family building, fertility yoga

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

This episode features Lauren Hart Clancy, a perinatal advocate, AllPaths peer group leader, parent through IVF, and co-chair of the 2025 Footsteps for Family Building Walk. Lauren shares her journey through multiple IVF cycles, a delayed male-factor infertility diagnosis, and health complications after an egg retrieval. Throughout the conversation, Lauren talks about the vital role of emotional support and finding community, highlighting the significant impact a supportive provider and the AllPaths community had in the journey to her second son. A longtime educator and advocate focused on maternal and child health, Lauren shares how she transitioned from being a participant in support groups to becoming an AllPaths group leader, helping others navigate their own transition to pregnancy and parenthood after a complex family building journey. She also discusses her advocacy work with the Boston Chapter of Chamber of Mothers, focusing on the need for systemic support for families via affordable childcare, paid leave, and improving maternal health outcomes and emphasizing that the journey to parenthood is not just a personal struggle but a societal issue as well.

Connect with Lauren on Instagram @VillageAdvocate and at the Boston chapter of Chamber of Mothers at https://chamberofmothers.com/ or by emailing [email protected].

And join Lauren this fall at our Footsteps for Family Building Walk - sign up at https://bit.ly/FootstepsforFamilyBuilding2025.

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

Public health advocate, volunteer, peer group leader, 2025 Footsteps for Family Building Walk, fertility testing, male factor infertility, depression, anxiety, grief, shame, fertility treatment, IVF, PGT-A testing, pregnancy loss, biochemical pregnancy, testicular extraction, expecting after infertility and/or loss, parenting after infertility/loss, therapy, community support, Chamber of Mothers, accessible childcare, maternal health, paid family medical leave, family building, fertility journey, IVF support, emotional support for families, parenting after infertility, reproductive health, male factor infertility, fertility treatment options, community support for parents, mental health in family building, coping with pregnancy loss, advocacy for parents, infertility awareness, maternal health advocacy, peer support networks, AllPaths Family Building, navigating fertility challenges, emotional resilience in parenting, finding the right fertility clinic, family planning resources

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

In this episode, we speak with Lauren Delaney, a co-chair for AllPaths’ annual Footsteps for Family Building Walk. Lauren shares about the roads she and her husband Ryan travelled to build their family. Ryan faced significant health issues including two kidney transplants, so together Lauren and Ryan navigated fertility preservation, fertility treatment, and multiple losses. They recognize the toll this journey can have on mental health and relationships. Now parenting two "rainbow babies" conceived through IVF, Lauren shares how she found healing and community by helping others. At her former workplace, she started the Pathways to Parenthood employee resource group to provide a safe space for colleagues who were navigating family building challenges, which led to increased fertility coverage and pregnancy loss bereavement leave. Lauren’s own experiences have led her to be an enthusiastic advocate for the importance of community when facing a difficult journey and finding people who will sit with you during challenging times.

Join Lauren this fall at our Footsteps for Family Building Walk! Sign up at https://bit.ly/FootstepsforFamilyBuilding2025.

Learn more about Lauren's employee resource group and how you can advocate for family building support in your workplace at https://allpathsfb.org/family-building-support-at-work/.

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

family building, infertility support, IVF journey, emotional health, parenting challenges, fertility treatment, family growth, mental health during IVF, couples therapy, coping with infertility, family planning, reproductive health, fertility resources, support groups for parents, navigating IVF, relationship during fertility treatment, family building community, pregnancy loss support, fertility awareness, personal stories of IVF, Footsteps for Family Building Walk, kidney transplants, health complications, Sperm Banking, fertility preservation, IVF, miscarriages, Chemical Pregnancies, Testicular Sperm Extraction (TESE) Procedure, employee resource group, Pathways to Parenthood, Workplace Policy Changes, increased fertility coverage,pregnancy loss, bereavement leave

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

In this episode, we welcome Dr. Aaron Styer, a reproductive endocrinologist, medical director of CCRM Boston, and AllPaths Board Member. Dr. Styer shares his professional journey into fertility medicine, sparked by his grandmother and mother who were both nurses, and a desire to build meaningful relationships with patients. The discussion covers what patients should consider when visiting a fertility specialist for the first time, how to approach second opinions, and the sensitive process of discussing alternative family-building options like donor conception. Dr. Styer emphasizes the emotional challenges of infertility, including loss, anxiety, and loneliness, advocating for open communication and acknowledging these feelings alongside medical considerations. Throughout the conversation, Dr. Styer underscores the importance of maintaining an open mind and a flexible approach, reminding listeners that while the journey to parenthood may not always follow a straight path, there are many avenues to explore. 

LINKS: 

CCRM Boston: https://www.ccrmivf.com/boston/ccrm-chestnut-hill-office/

Want to get in touch with Dr. Styer? Email [email protected] and we’ll pass your message along!

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

Reproductive endocrinologist, CCRM Boston, fertility treatment, infertility, Vanderbilt, medical school, maternity, obgyn, birth, patient support, empowerment, family building, fertility preservation, cancer and fertility, gender transition, fertility benefits, egg freezing, IVF, embryo transfers, fertility testing, second opinion, first appointment, treatment cycle, donor conception, adoption, loss, grief, anxiety, loneliness, jealousy, mental health support

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

This episode featuring Erin, a longtime AllPaths group leader, and her husband Stephen offers a raw and unfiltered look at their decade-long struggle with infertility and it’s emotional toll. From the early days of excitement and expectation to the stark realization that building their family would not be as straightforward as they had hoped, Erin and Stephen share the pivotal moments in their journey, including their experiences with fertility treatments, the heartache of miscarriages, and the eventual decision to move forward with direct egg donation.

Through their story, they highlight the importance of finding support, being educated patients, and connecting with others who have walked similar roads before you to combat the isolation that can often accompany infertility. Each piece of their experience reveals the complexities of hope, loss, and resilience, ultimately leading them to embrace the understanding that there are many paths to parenthood and every family's path is different.

LINKS: 

Connect with Erin at www.erinchrusciel.com/ThisIsTrying

Join AllPaths Donor Conception Peer Support Group: https://allpathsfb.org/support/

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

infertility support, family building journey, donor egg process, IUI, IVF, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, infertility, emotional support, infertility resources, navigating infertility, peer support groups, donor egg, parenting after IVF, parenting donor conceived children, fertility clinics, understanding ovarian reserve, diminished ovarian reserve, personal stories of infertility, mental health in family building, support for couples, known donor, donor conception, donor egg IVF, community support, peer groups 

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

Annie and Gene Carelli, a married couple and licensed Pharmacists from the Philadelphia area, join us to share their family’s story and the inspiring way they turned their challenges into a resource for others navigating fertility treatment. After unsuccessfully trying to conceive on their own, Annie and Gene were diagnosed with unexplained infertility and entered the world of fertility treatment. Initially thinking their pharmaceutical background would make the process easier, Annie and Gene were surprised by the challenges they faced, particularly Annie's mental block when it came to self-administering IVF injections. After the birth of their first daughter, Gene volunteered at their clinic, biking around South Philadelphia to help close the gap in medication and administration education and support for local patients. 

The overwhelming demand for their services led them to recruit some local friends who were RNs and officially launch Fertility Home Care around the same time their second daughter was born. Passionate about patient education, Annie and Gene’s goals are reducing stress, medication preparation and administration errors so that patients can focus on other demanding aspects of the IVF process with comfortability and a good mindset. Throughout the conversation, Annie and Gene discuss not only the technical aspects of fertility treatments, but also emotional burden that accompanies fertility treatments and the need for open dialogue and support around these issues.

Connect with Annie and Gene at https://fertilityhc.com/ and @fertilityhc on social media.

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

Fertility treatment, infertility, unexplained infertility, IUI, IVF, OHSS, miscarriage, pregnancy loss, pharmacist, medication, injections, family building, infertility journey, IVF support, fertility clinic resources, emotional support during IVF, navigating infertility, IUI experiences, natural cycle IVF, IVF injection training, fertility home care, couple's fertility journey, overcoming infertility challenges, support for infertility, infertility community, personal stories of IVF, coping with miscarriage, fertility medications, 

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

In this episode of the AllPaths podcast, we’re joined by Rebecca Daddio, LCSW PMH-C and AllPaths peer group leader to hear about her personal and professional journey through the complexities of family building. Rebecca shares her experiences with unsuccessful fertility treatments, pregnancy loss, the path that led to donor conception and, after the birth of her son, the decision to remain a one-child family. Throughout the journey, Rebecca quickly realized the value of various support systems and resources she utilized, including therapy, yoga, meditation apps, and acupuncture. Her personal experiences ultimately led Rebecca to a fulfilling career as a certified perinatal therapist supporting other individuals and families facing similar struggles through her private practice in Connecticut and her involvement with AllPaths Family Building and Postpartum Support International.

LINKS:

Connect with Rebecca at https://www.rebeccadaddiolcsw.com/

Join Rebecca at AllPaths’ One and No Longer Trying for Another Peer Support Group: https://allpathsfb.org/support/

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

family building, fertility journey, donor conception, IVF support, IUI process, emotional support for parents, unexplained infertility, donor egg IVF, donor egg, one and not longer trying for another, one and done not by choice, peer support groups, perinatal social work, coping strategies for parents, mental health and motherhood, resources for fertility challenges, community support in family building, navigating infertility, overcoming fertility obstacles, parenting after infertility, therapy for fertility issues, understanding donor egg process, family planning support, AllPaths Family Building, volunteer, peer group leader,

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!

This episode features an in-depth discussion with Karen about her journey through infertility and adoption. She openly shares the challenges she faced, including the emotional toll of successful fertility treatments, the impact that family building struggles can have on relationships, and how she determined adoption was the best path for her family. As Karen recounts her experience of matching with her daughter’s birth mother and the emotional intricacies of that relationship, she emphasizes the importance of having a support system, whether through friends, family, online communities, or support groups, and the importance of staying open to all possibilities as you navigate the twists and turns of your journey.

Visit Karen at Possibili Teas in Bridgewater, MA.

Learn about AllPaths’ Adoption Support Group at https://allpathsfb.org/support/.

TOPICS COVERED IN THIS EPISODE:

Massachusetts, infertility, fertility treatment, IUI, unexplained infertility, mental health support, access to care, fertility testing, polyps, relationships, fertility insurance coverage, adoption, adoption agency, birth parent, closed adoption, Georgia, hope, grief, family and friends, community support, Instagram, therapy, family building, infertility support, adoption journey, emotional support in infertility, navigating family growth, IVF experiences, fertility treatment options, coping with infertility, community support for families, personal adoption stories, family growth challenges, mental health in family building, infertility awareness, support groups for infertility, family building resources, understanding infertility, adoption process explained, building a family through adoption, stories of hope in infertility, supporting families in transition

CONNECT WITH ALLPATHS FAMILY BUILDING: https://allpathsfb.org

Follow us on social media @allpathsfb

Want to share your story or ask a question? Get in touch at [email protected]!