Almost Grown Up

This week, I’m calling B.S. on one of adulthood’s biggest myths: work-life balance.

Because if balance means being calm, focused, and fully present at work and at home, I’ve never had it. Not when I was a cop, not when I worked in ministry, and definitely not now juggling remote work, parenting four kids, and trying not to lose my mind in a Walmart parking lot.

In this episode, I share:

• Why “balance” has never worked for me (and maybe never will)

• The emotional toll of always being on even when you’re technically “off”

• The guilt spiral that hits when you try to rest

• How I’m learning to redefine “enough” in a world that keeps moving the finish line

• A story about my wife’s recent car accident that shook everything up

• And why frozen fruit + Good Mythical Morning might just be my emotional support system right now

If you’ve ever felt like you’re behind before your day even starts or wondered why you’re so exhausted when you’re “doing everything right” this one’s for you.

PLUS: I’m testing out a new segment called Caffeine & Coping, where I share the little things keeping me semi-functional each week.

It’s not a self-help guide. It’s not a five-step plan.

It’s just me, trying to make sense of the mess out loud.

What happens when you stop believing the things that used to define you but you’re not sure what comes next?

In this raw conversation with David Hayward, aka NakedPastor, we unpack the messy middle of faith deconstruction: losing certainty, grieving community, rethinking marriage, and learning to be present in your own body again.

Whether you’re deep in the fog of religious doubt or just starting to question your beliefs, this episode is your reminder that you’re not broken. You’re becoming.

We talk about:

• Why growth isn’t a linear process

• Marriage and identity after leaving church

• Letting go of shame, certainty, and spiritual baggage

• How to rebuild rhythms that actually work for you

Follow David and his work

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• Paintings, Cartoons, Books & More

What if ADHD isn’t a fixed disorder but a response to a world that just isn’t built for our brains?

In this episode, I unpack what happened when I went back on Adderall after two years off and why it didn’t hit the same. I open up about the pressure to “function” post-job loss, and the unexpected emotional spiral that followed.

Then I dive into the recent New York Times article, “Have We Been Thinking About A.D.H.D. All Wrong?” and how it challenged the way I see ADHD not just in myself, but in my son too. We talk medication, masking, Minecraft meltdowns, and what it really means to create a safe environment for neurodivergent kids (and adults) to thrive.

NYT Article - "Have We Been Thinking About ADHD All Wrong?"

I’m 39 today.

And instead of pretending to have my life together, I’m celebrating the only way that makes sense: with a chaotic list of lessons, screwups, and random wisdom I’ve collected along the way.

From parenting fails to career faceplants to why adulthood is basically one long improv show...it’s all here.

Plus, stick around ‘til the end if you want a surprise birthday gift from me.

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You used to sneak into dressing rooms together to "try on clothes". Now you’re just hoping no one knocks on the door while you're having sex.

This episode is about sex after kids. What intimacy looks like when you’re touched out, exhausted, and parenting tiny chaos goblins who interrupt literally everything.

From high-drive spontaneity to calendar-based logistics, dry spells, mismatched desire, and redefining intimacy beyond just sex, Nic and Janna (married 19 years, 4 kids deep) get honest about how connection has changed for them.

We talk about:

    •    The death of spontaneity (and why that’s okay)

    •    How to reconnect when you’re mentally spiraling and physically tired

    •    The small non-sexual things that matter more than ever

    •    And how they keep choosing each other even when the spark feels dim

This isn’t a how-to guide. It’s a real, messy, occasionally hilarious convo about what it actually takes to stay close when life is full, kids are loud, and nobody has time to “set the mood.”

In this episode, Nic is joined by his wife Janna for an honest, slightly awkward, and definitely unscripted conversation about how they’re learning to talk to their kids about sex while still healing from the way they were raised.

This is part two of the Let’s Talk About Sex series. If part one (with Cindy Wang Brandt) was the wise, expert perspective… this is the messy middle. The part where you’re still figuring out what you believe, what language feels right, and how to even start the convo without passing on the same shame and silence you grew up with.

Together, Nic and Janna talk about:

• Growing up in purity culture and how it shaped their views on sex

• What it’s like to rewrite the script while raising kids in real time

• Why saying the words out loud (yes, even “vulva”) matters

• How their views on intimacy have evolved over the years

• The convos that worked, the ones that flopped, and the ones that came out of nowhere while folding laundry

This isn’t a how-to guide. It’s not a list of rules.

It’s two parents, sitting together, trying to raise whole humans while still becoming whole themselves.

If you’ve ever felt behind, unsure, or completely unqualified to have “the talk” with your kids—this one’s for you.

Most of us didn’t grow up with healthy, honest conversations about sex. Instead we got silence, shame, and weird youth group analogies about chewed gum and crumpled hearts.

So how do we, as adults and parents, break that cycle?

In Part 1 of this four-part series, I sit down with author and parenting expert Cindy Wang Brandt to talk about how purity culture shaped our understanding of sex (or completely distorted it), and what it actually looks like to raise kids with a framework of honesty, autonomy, and consent.

We get into:

• ​Why “The Talk” isn’t a one-time thing—and why starting early matters
• ​How to talk to your kids about sex without passing on your own baggage
• ​What most sex ed leaves out (like pleasure and body autonomy)
• ​And how we can create a new legacy, even if we’re still figuring it out ourselves
• ​Whether you’re a parent, unlearning your own shame, or just trying to do better, this one’s for you.

Cindy's Resources

Website (you can find all of her books, blog, and conferences here)

Parenting Forward Podcast

Come As You Are (Book) mentioned in the episode

This isn’t a how-to guide. No abs in 30 days. No fitness challenges.It’s just the real story of how I hit rock bottom.

I was laid off, drinking daily, completely untethered and one day decided, “I can’t live like this anymore.”

What followed was four years of figuring it out from scratch: P90X in the bedroom, breaking a rib deadlifting, botched bulks, body image issues, and eventually standing on a powerlifting platform with my kids holding up signs that said, “My daddy can lift a house.”

This episode is about mental health, real-life fitness, screwing up and trying again and what it means to build something sustainable when life is already chaotic.

If you’ve ever felt too tired, too behind, or like the gym isn’t made for people like you this one’s for you.

At some point, we all hit that “Is this actually my life?” moment. Maybe it sneaks up on you in a work meeting that should have been an email. Maybe it happens when you catch yourself getting way too excited about a new vacuum.

Or maybe it’s bigger than that. Feeling stuck. Restless. Like something in your life isn’t working, but you’re not sure what to do about it.

So… is this an actual crisis? Or just part of growing up?

I sat down with David Achata to talk about it. He’s spent years coaching leaders through major life transitions. He’s seen what happens when people hit this moment and how to move forward without making decisions they’ll regret.

We get into:

- What a “midlife crisis” actually is (and why it’s not just about sports cars and bad decisions)

- The difference between reinvention and running away

- How to know if you actually need a big life reset or if you’re just reacting to stress

- How to make major life moves without blowing everything up

- Why fear and uncertainty don’t mean stop: they just mean pay attention

If you’ve ever found yourself questioning your career, your relationships, or your life path, this one’s for you.

Listen in. Let’s figure it out together.

Connect with David Achata:

- Business Coaching: achatacoaching.com

- Personal Work: davidachata.com

- Instagram: @davidachata

Grief is weird.

You think you know how it works: someone dies, you feel sad, you move through the "stages," and eventually, you're fine. Except... that's not how it goes at all.

Because nobody tells you that grief isn’t just for funerals. It’s not just for old people, dramatic movie scenes, or those “thoughts and prayers” moments. It’s something that sneaks up on you when you least expect it: a song, a smell, an old video that reminds you of who you used to be.

And it’s not just about losing people. You can grieve pets. You can grieve past versions of yourself. You can grieve a life that once felt certain.

In this episode, I talk about:

- Losing my best friend Monte & how grief doesn’t happen in a straight line

- Why John Mayer made me ugly cry in my car (yes, really)

- The weird feeling of seeing an old version of yourself and realizing you’ll never be that person again

- How grief forces you to confront your own mortality

Ever had a random memory knock the wind out of you? Ever felt nostalgic for a version of yourself that doesn’t exist anymore? Ever lost someone and thought, I have no idea how to do this?

Yeah. Me too.