Two boneheads flapping their headbones. Humorous (we're told).

Bells are jingling, nuts are roasting and sacks are being emptied - but enough about the work Christmas party, it's Dan & Leon's final podcast for 2017! (let's face it, probably ever). Snack on a delicious egg tube while Dan & Leon devise a colonic torture game show, get an X-rated Santa on the blower, and burn all their leftover 2017 material. It's... garbage.

Välkommen! Drops of wee come out everywhere this podcast, especially if Dan is planning one of his crazy bed-showers. Meanwhile Leon tiptoes through a dating minefield, and exposes his granddad's weird nightly habit. We know you've missed us (assuming you're our Mums) (which is almost certainly the case).

The Body Episode. After a break for mental health reasons (yours, not ours), standard issue meat-puppets Dan & Leon deftly invade & explore the disgusting carcass we ride around in on a daily basis, ie. the human body. Point and laugh as we twist knees, hack at genitals and even push an entire OTHER human out of our metaphorical vaginas. And literal ones, in Leon's wife's case.

Jump on Dan & Leon's hastily-arranged world tour as they break bad with the Queen, fire a French whipped cream torpedo and tuck into some Irish enchiladas with the Biebs. Special guest: Leon's wife (for now).

This week Dan & Leon come their closest to Something yet. Join them, won't you, as they query which Captain Planeteer burns the hardest, rate themselves out of 10, and fight the terrifying scourge of sink leeches. Special guest: Dan's long-suffering Mum.

Things get intimate this week (if you call a series of genital mishaps "intimate"). Join Dan & Leon as they attempt a sticky hug with Jerry Seinfeld, set a Singaporean crab loose on a very delicate region, and let Dan's girlfriend treat his manhood like a fire hose. Special guest: The Almighty.

This one is really almost something. Peer into the abyss with Dan & Leon as we trim Don Burke's pants-hedge, offend a stalker with poo puns, and cut a pizza in a fashion so genius, even DaVinci himself would say: "Getta outta my housa!" Special guest: Dan's girlfriend Dufty.

In this week's Almost Something, Dan and Leon question Prince's purple vein, check in on Trumpy's armada, and deal with a serious case of Lego crotch. Special guest: Chucklehead!

Dan & Leon discuss eating in the shower, instant thief karma, and grannies that wee on golf courses. Special guest: Michael Beveridge.