#maritalcoercion is rape. And repeated rape is a totally different kind of bond. A trauma bond. And every person who cites oxytocin and bonding as reasons to have sex is contributing to the system that causes and allows marital rape.

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What do you do if you’re experiencing all the symptoms of rape but your husband isn’t coercive? Who’s to blame? How do you heal? I had to put blame aside and just sit in the FACT that I had been made to have sex I didn’t want. I had to face that trauma without naming my husband as a rapist before I could heal. Now I can say, “Yes, he raped me, but I don’t need him to be punished. I just need to know it happened and why, and then work to strengthen myself so it can’t happen again.”

This is why I focus so much on healing over punishment and blame. I believe it’s none of my business if your husband is a rapist. That’s entirely your journey to take, in your time, when you’re ready.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit natlajune.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit natlajune.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit natlajune.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit natlajune.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit natlajune.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit natlajune.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit natlajune.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit natlajune.substack.com/subscribe

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit natlajune.substack.com/subscribe