Ambitious Dads

Mike Miller, an HR executive, raised three children largely on his own and is now a grandfather. Mike joins host Jeff Hittner to share what actually stuck as his kids grew into adults, from moving across the country after loss to rethinking how he parented once they hit their teens.

Mike also gets candid about defining success for each child individually, why the behavior you reward gets repeated, and how he stays close to adult kids whose politics differ from his own.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

[00:00] Normal is whatever you build, and a nontraditional family can thrive just as well as the one next door.

[09:00] Borrowing good examples and parenting by opposite example can fill the gaps when your own parents weren’t able to.

[10:00] The behavior that gets rewarded gets repeated, a simple mantra that still guides his parenting decades later.

[17:00] Kids learn from the whole person, including how you treat colleagues, not just the voice you save for them.

[22:00] Pausing on your definition of success makes room for each child’s own passion, from nursing to country music.

[29:00] Teens need bullet points, not the full lecture: let them talk it out, then help put their thoughts in order.

[35:00] Kids raised to think for themselves may land far from your politics, so lead with what you share.

Listen to the full episode for Mike’s take on giving yourself grace, adapting as your kids grow, and why he’d play a little more and pick up a little less.

RESOURCES

Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter:

https://www.ambitiousdads.com

Connect with Jeff Hittner:

https://jeffhittner.com

Subscribe on:

Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099

YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads

For the first time on the Ambitious Dads Podcast, Jeff Hittner hands over the microphone.

Eighteen months after his marriage ended, Jeff asks his friend, Ambitious Dads' very first guest Robert Mulhall, to interview him about a part of his life he hasn't spoken about publicly until now. It's a conversation about what came after his lifelong vision of family was altered: the fear of what separation might do to his boys, the loss of the family he thought he was building, learning to co-parent after no longer being partners, and figuring out who he is during the weeks his children aren't with him.

Jeff opens up about the shame he still carries around divorce, the support system he deliberately built when his ex-wife moved out, the surprising joys of parenting his boys alone, and why 18 months later he doesn't think separation simply "gets easier." It evolves. 

KEY TAKEAWAYS

[02:00] The two things Jeff felt he was losing weren't only his marriage: they were his identity and the vision he'd carried his entire life of what his family would look like.

[05:30] How Jeff and his ex-wife prepared their young boys for the separation, including therapy, a carefully planned conversation, two nearby homes, and an intentional transition into 50/50 parenting.

[11:00] Putting the kids first sometimes meant slowing his own healing and asking one question before communicating with his ex: What actually needs to be said for the sake of our children?

[14:00] A monthly two-hour beach walk became an unexpectedly powerful co-parenting practice for handling the conversations they still disagree about.

[18:00] The hardest day of the week is still the day Jeff hands his boys over, and the empty apartment afterward has forced him to confront who he is when he isn't actively parenting.

[24:00] The shame underneath divorce: not simply "my marriage ended," but the much harder fear, "Did I fail my children?"

[30:00] How seemingly small language choices can keep children from feeling responsible for a parent's sadness or guilty for missing the other parent.

[34:00] The unexpected gift of solo parenting: clearer priorities, deeper confidence as a dad, and stretches of completely undivided time with his boys.

[37:00] Why being committed to a healthy co-parenting relationship doesn't mean abandoning boundaries that protect your own healing.

[39:00] Jeff's advice to parents in the thick of separation: deliberately build a support system, stop grading your healing week by week, and don't force yourself to solve what life will look like years from now.

[44:00] Sometimes crying doesn't mean you're going backward. Sometimes you're simply sad, and sadness needs somewhere to leave the body.

Listen to the full episode for an honest conversation about separation, co-parenting, identity, grief, and building a different kind of family without giving up on being the father you want to be.

RESOURCES

Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter:

https://www.ambitiousdads.com

Connect with Jeff Hittner:

https://jeffhittner.com

Subscribe on:

Apple Podcasts:

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328

Spotify:

https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099

YouTube:

https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads

Eran Arbel, director of talent acquisition at Florida International University, grew up the son of an Israeli diplomat, moving to a new country every few years and never quite putting down roots. Eran joins host Jeff Hittner to share how that childhood shaped his mission to give his own kids the stability he never had, and why raising two teenagers who took completely different paths taught him the hardest lesson in parenting: their journey isn't yours to control.

Eran also opens up about the separation that began just as COVID hit, how week-on, week-off parenting became an unexpected gift that made him more confident at home and at work, and why he traded "because I said so" for the coaching mindset he uses with his team.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

[02:00] Two kids raised in the same house by the same parents took completely different paths, and each one needed a different kind of dad.

[08:00] Letting kids go on their own journey, not the path you're comfortable with, was advice he heard long before he could actually follow it.

[11:00] A pointed question from his then-wife forced him to choose between having a relationship with his daughter and being the dad who tells her what to do.

[13:00] A separation at the height of COVID turned week-on, week-off parenting into his first real stretch of undivided time with his kids.

[20:00] One comment in a divorce support group became his vow to treat the hardest chapter of his life as a fresh start, for himself and his kids.

[23:00] Bringing home the coaching skills he uses at work changed how he guides his teenagers toward their own best choices.

[28:00] A flat-tire call from his daughter in downtown Miami became a real-time test of choosing calm support over the old lecture.

Listen to the full episode for Eran's take on acceptance, intentional fatherhood, and why every dad needs a plan for his family.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Florida International University, where Eran leads talent acquisition:

https://www.fiu.edu

Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter: https://www.ambitiousdads.com

Connect with Jeff Hittner: https://jeffhittner.com

Subscribe on:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads

John Barrows, founder of JB Sales, spent a decade as a "weekend dad," flying the world to build his business while his wife held down the home front. John joins host Jeff Hittner to share how co-writing a children's book with his daughter, Charlotte, became his way back into her world, and why sales taught him the one thing every parent needs most: curiosity over fixing.

John also opens up about the daily ritual he built with his daughter to teach grit and self-control, the ego he'd hidden behind "I'm doing this for my family," and why so many dads feel too isolated to talk about their real struggles.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

[00:00] Co-writing a kids' book with his daughter became the bridge for finally explaining what "sales" actually means.

[08:00] Balancing guidance with independence keeps him up at night, wanting to teach without overriding his daughter's own path.

[13:00] A daily ritual built around effort, attitude, and how you treat others became the family's go-to formula for resilience.

[22:00] A blunt line from a business coach forced him to admit the real reason he traveled so much wasn't fully about family.

[24:00] COVID became an unexpected forcing function that shifted him from weekend dad to daily presence at pickup and dinner.

[31:00] Curiosity, not fixing, is the instinct he has to consciously choose every time his daughter brings him a problem.

[41:00] Most dads stay quiet about real struggles because they fear judging, or being judged for, the people they love most.

Listen to the full episode for John's take on curiosity, presence, and building a family culture where effort and empathy come first.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

JB Sales, John's sales training and consulting company:

https://www.jbarrows.com

Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter: https://www.ambitiousdads.com

Connect with Jeff Hittner: https://jeffhittner.com

Subscribe on:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads

Armin Brott, Mr. Dad, has spent nearly 25 years giving fathers the tools and role models he never had. A former Marine and father of three adult children, Armin joins host Jeff Hittner to unpack why progress for dads has stalled, and why the "toxic masculinity" conversation misses the point.

Armin also digs into the real business case for paternity leave, the double standard men face around emotion and mental health, and what changes (and what stubbornly doesn't) about single fatherhood since he wrote the book on it.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

[00:00] Twenty years in, the progress toward equal footing for dads and moms still hasn't arrived, and it's a shared failure.

[05:00] Guys who want more time with family need to make the business case to their employers, not just ask for it.

[12:00] A stranger's suspicious glare in a park became the moment that changed his entire career path.

[17:00] Calling all masculinity toxic misses the real problem, how boys are taught which emotions are allowed.

[23:00] Men get postpartum depression too, and ignoring it to focus only on mom leaves fathers stuck.

[32:00] Single fatherhood is exhausting and isolating in ways he didn't expect, but it also gave him an unfiltered closeness with his kids.

[40:00] A father's role keeps changing, from the one who knows everything to the one who waits to be asked.

Listen to the full episode to hear Armin's take on why involved fatherhood is ultimately a shared win for the whole family, not just the kids.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Mr. Dad, Armin's site and syndicated "Ask Mr. Dad" column for fathers: https://mrdad.com

Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter: https://www.ambitiousdads.com

Connect with Jeff Hittner: https://jeffhittner.com

Subscribe on:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads

Jamie Hogg, founder of Leadership & Co, knows firsthand that fatherhood rarely comes with a blueprint. As a married gay father raising two young children through adoption, Jamie joins host Jeff Hittner to unpack the intentionality, uncertainty, and growth that shaped his path into parenthood.

Jamie also opens up about the unspoken bias he's faced as a working father, the crisis of confidence every new parent feels, and how raising two kids of color has deepened his empathy, both at home and as a leader.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

[00:00] Two gay dads had no built-in playbook for parenthood, so they built their own from scratch.

[07:00] Transracial adoption added a layer of isolation that even close friends and family couldn't fully understand.

[09:00] Raising a child of color means preparing for a world that will see him differently as he grows.

[11:00] Believing parenting would come naturally can set up a painful reckoning once it doesn't.

[22:00] Returning to work after having kids exposed a strange, unspoken bias about who's really doing the caregiving.

[25:00] Self-care and time away still feel like guilt trips he hasn't fully learned to release.

[30:00] Choosing to be raw and unguarded with his kids is reshaping how he shows up as a leader.

Listen to the full episode to hear Jamie's approach to co-parenting, self-care, and building an authentic, integrated version of fatherhood.

Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter: https://www.ambitiousdads.com

Connect with Jeff Hittner: https://jeffhittner.com

Subscribe on:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads

Shazad Carbaidwala, a father, author, coach, and longtime prison visitation volunteer, joins the show to talk about the role that matters most to him: raising his eight-year-old daughter as a single dad. He opens up about what he wants her to see most when she looks at him, and why that shapes everything else he does.

From there, Shazad walks through the daily work of co-parenting: staying transparent with his ex-partner, building a support system around his daughter, and learning to give her more independence as she grows older.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

00:00 Shazad shares what he wants his daughter to see most when she looks at him as her father

03:38 Why transparency and constant communication with an ex-partner became the backbone of healthy co-parenting

07:00 The support system it takes to stay grounded through separation, from therapy to leaning on a trusted circle

16:09 The one thing Shazad hopes his daughter will always bring to him first, before anyone else

24:45 What keeps Shazad up at night when he thinks about his daughter's future relationships

29:36 The real trap doors in co-parenting, and why compromise matters as much as communication

34:04 Shazad's definition of being present, and why he keeps his phone out of the moments that count

36:26 The one area Shazad's ex says he still struggles with, and how he's working on it

If this conversation hit home, subscribe to the Ambitious Dads Podcast and share it with a dad in your life who needs to hear it.

Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter: https://www.ambitiousdads.com

Connect with Jeff Hittner: https://jeffhittner.com

Subscribe on:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads

Serial entrepreneur Quinton Sanicola shares his journey of raising two young boys (7 months and 3 years old) while building multiple businesses across continents. From managing food allergies to balancing American and Japanese parenting philosophies, Quinton offers honest insights on intentional parenting, the challenges of entrepreneurial fatherhood, and why "you're never going to have enough money" shouldn't stop you from starting a family.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

[00:01:27] - Life in "The Tunnel" with Two Young Kids

Discussion of the Spanish expression about having kids under 3 - "you're in the tunnel"

How everything shifts when you become a parent - perspective, priorities, and daily decisions

Key quote: "Everything is a different world. The way you look at life, the perspective that you have on why you're doing your day-to-day tasks... everything shifts."

[00:04:53] - Timing and Starting a Family

The importance of recognizing when it's time to have children

Avoiding external pressures to rush or delay starting a family

Key quote: "Don't delay when you've reached that season and that phase that you think you should start... because it's just the most unbelievable experience possible."

[00:08:29] - Intentional Parenting in a Digital Age

Being deliberate about screen time, education choices, and cultural decisions

Navigating East-meets-West parenting with Japanese and American influences

Key quote: "I think this is a time where you have to be more intentional than ever before... you are not alone in your home anymore."

[00:16:27] - Focusing on Yourself to Serve Your Family

How self-care and personal development ultimately benefit the family

The concept that working on yourself is working for them

Key quote: "When I focus on me for a clear mind, clear body, I'm doing this because when I perform, I create better. I create a better life."

[00:20:42] - The Challenge of Being Present

Kids as "BS detectors" who know when you're not fully present

The struggle between building for the future and being present today

Key quote: "Those kids, they're BS detectors and they know. So when it's time to work, it's time to work. And when it's time to step away from work and be with family, it's time to be with family."

[00:25:32] - Paternity Leave as an Entrepreneur

Contrasting experiences: zero time off with first child vs. seven intentional days with second

Managing business crises during major life moments

Key quote: "It is not about the amount of time. It is about the quality of time. It is about the intentionality."

[00:34:34] - What Keeps Him Up at Night

Concerns about the world his children will inherit

Building a family business for the next generation

Key quote: "What I want to build, I want to bring my son into. And then I want to have a family business... if my business isn't ready for him when he's ready, in my mind, that's a big problem."

[00:36:21] - Food Allergies and Quality Concerns

Discovering his son's allergies disappear in Japan but return in the US

Being willing to relocate for family health needs

Key quote: "It is inevitable that it is the quality of our food in America... it's not about me. It's about my family."

[00:42:09] - Final Advice on Starting a Family

You'll never have "enough" money, so don't let that stop you

Recognizing the calling when it's time

Key quote: "You're never going to have enough money, period, full stop... A tickle fight with a three-year-old of your own can't be expressed. The amount of joy that comes with that... is unbelievable."

Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter: https://www.ambitiousdads.com

Connect with Jeff Hittner: https://jeffhittner.com

Subscribe on:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads

When Dion Elliott Jensen lost his job and came out to his wife, he was forced to confront who he was beyond his professional identity. In this deeply personal conversation, the Australian father of five shares how losing everything led him to discover unconditional love, redefine success, and transform his approach to fatherhood. A powerful discussion about vulnerability, presence, and the courage to love without expectation of return.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

[00:02:13] - The Death of Professional Identity

Discussion of how modern society defines people by their jobs rather than who they are

Key quote: "We become what we do for a job, it begins to define us... when I was fired, you really then have the mask torn off you to have to say, well, who am I when I'm not in this role?"

[00:04:56] - Defining Authentic Self

Dion's journey to discover his true identity beyond professional roles

Key quote: "I would always say that I'm a proud work in progress because who I was yesterday or last week or last year has shaped who I am today, but doesn't define who I am today"

[00:06:45] - Coming Out and Family Transformation

The decision to come out while dealing with job loss and its impact on family relationships

Key quote: "I thought losing my job, it's a pretty seismic change to go through, but I thought I might as well double down and just get all the change out of the way all at once"

[00:08:49] - Unconditional Love as a One-Way Street

Revolutionary perspective on love not requiring reciprocation

Key quote: "The strongest, most pure form of love is the love that you give outward and just don't expect anything in return"

[00:15:05] - Redefining Fatherhood Beyond Provision

Shifting from provider-focused to presence-focused parenting

Key quote: "Your contribution as a father is more than just providing for your child... being present is a really important way of providing"

[00:16:53] - Sacred Time and Presence

The importance of quality over quantity in father-child interactions

Key quote: "You may not have a lot of time, but what you can control is how present you are with the time that you have"

[00:21:20] - Truth-Telling with Children

Balancing protection with honest communication about life's challenges

Key quote: "We kind of wrap our kids up in cotton wool a bit and try and shield them from everything... it's actually more of a teachable moment"

[00:30:46] - Understanding and Using Fear

Reframing fear as either protective or limiting

Key quote: "Fear is projecting a memory which has happened in the past and then applying it to something that we think may happen in the future"

[00:33:38] - Parenting for Purpose in Uncertain Times

Helping children find their purpose in a challenging world

Key quote: "My biggest goal for the kids is that they can find and understand what their purpose is and live a rich life that's purposeful and purpose-based"

Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter: https://www.ambitiousdads.com

Connect with Jeff Hittner: https://jeffhittner.com

Subscribe on:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads

Larry Hagner, founder of The Dad Edge, shares his raw and transformative journey from childhood abandonment to becoming a father of four boys. After a moment of rage with his 4-year-old that broke his own promise never to hurt his children, Larry embarked on a 15-year mission to learn the skills of intentional fatherhood. This conversation explores shame, vulnerability, and the power of choosing growth over perfection in parenting.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

[00:01:48] - Childhood Abandonment and Father Wounds

Larry shares his story of being abandoned by his biological father at 9 months old and again at age 12

Key quote: "Are you going to be my dad? As I'm looking up at him, shaking his hand beaming"

[00:04:18] - Toxic Father Figures and Abuse

Discussion of physical abuse from adoptive father and multiple toxic relationships his mother had

Key quote: "After the first year, things got really horrific. So he drank a lot. My mom drank a lot. There was a lot of fighting, there was a lot of abuse"

[00:06:43] - Miraculous Reunion at Age 12

The serendipitous meeting with his biological father's wife at the YMCA

Key quote: "I think you might be married to my dad. And then you just saw the look on her face. She knew exactly who I was"

[00:12:50] - The Breaking Point: A Father's Worst Moment

Larry's vulnerable account of spanking his 4-year-old son in anger and the child's fearful response

Key quote: "Many years ago, I became the monster that I swore to protect my kids against"

[00:16:12] - The Birth of The Dad Edge

How shame and a Facebook page became the catalyst for learning and community building

Key quote: "When you're ashamed of something or you don't want to think about something, what do people do? They go on social media and they just scroll"

[00:18:42] - Shame Dies in Safe Spaces

The importance of vulnerability and community for fathers

Key quote: "Shame dies when you share things on your heart in safe spaces"

[00:21:38] - Why Men Struggle to Seek Help

Cultural barriers preventing fathers from learning parenting and relationship skills

Key quote: "If you need help with anything, you're weak. You're less than"

[00:28:25] - The Power of Repair and Forgiveness

Larry's son publicly forgiving him during a speaking event

Key quote: "I forgive you. And I was like, what? And he's like, I forgive you"

[00:30:39] - Current Parenting Challenge: Letting Go

Preparing for his first child to leave for college in 73 days

Key quote: "I'm trying to literally capture every single moment that I can with him before he leaves"

[00:33:52] - Entering Your Child's World

The 70/30 rule: 70% entering their world, 30% bringing them into yours

Key quote: "Whatever you're interested in, we will do it"

[00:37:04] - Raising Four Boys: Family Dynamics

Strategies for managing multiple boys and creating family unity

Key quote: "My wife and I have each other's back. No matter what in front of the kids"

[00:41:26] - Family Rituals and Connection

The importance of dinner together and roses/thorns conversations

Key quote: "We create environments of psychological safety, so we're always first to validate what it is that they're feeling versus fix it"

Sign Up for the Ambitious Dads Newsletter: https://www.ambitiousdads.com

Connect with Jeff Hittner: https://jeffhittner.com

Subscribe on:

Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ambitious-dads/id1815863328

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4xCHG30Ms9wcGRJmDqHcW8?si=46654ba2a0654099

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@AmbitiousDads