An A to Z of Sex with Men

This week W is for exactly what you’d think - that’s right… Wanking! In one of the most revealing episodes yet, Raphael and Jacinta discuss what gets them off when they’re on their own; the health benefits of wanking (physical, mental and emotional), and why mutual masturbation is the best. Oh and also how wanking doesn’t make your hands hairy!

Welcome to the wack(ing one out)y world of wanking. It’s wicked, it's wizard, it's wondrous. 

There are no trigger warnings this week.

Sources and recommendations:

Does Masturbation Have Positive or Negative Effects on the Brain?

https://www.healthline.com/health/healthy-sex/masturbation-effects-on-brain

Is Masturbation Good for You?

https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/teens/sex/masturbation/masturbation-good-you

HUGE thank you to our sound technician Flavio Buonerba of TripleFSound! Get in touch with him here for all your sound related needs: https://www.triplefsound.com/

#atozwithmen #wisforwanking #wobbleu #holesaregoals #locationlocationlocation #yourmumscarrots #womblingwankingfree #quickdiddle #legallyblonde #ARSEnal #wankingwords #reactiontime #anatozofsexwithmen 

Jacinta and Raphael are addressing their sensitive sides in this week’s episode on vulnerability. Whether it’s sex with strangers, expressing your feelings, or giving your first hand job, there are many ways to feel vulnerable in a sexual context. It sounds scary, but can vulnerability actually be a good thing and, most importantly, can we have good sex without it? Danger, passion, erotic anticipation - they discuss all this and more in this in depth analysis of what it means to be vulnerable.

TW: rape and sexual assault (38:50 - 44:33), harrassment in a sexual context (30:10 - 39:16)

HUGE thank you to Flavio Buonerba of TripleFSound for doing our sound (recording and editing) this week! Get in touch with him here for all your sound related needs: https://www.triplefsound.com/

Sources and recommendations:

Articles about sexual vulnerability

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-future-intimacy/201911/when-sexual-vulnerability-empowers-you

http://swell.damewellness.co/three-men-on-being-vulnerable-about-sex/

https://fizzymag.com/articles/how-sexual-vulnerability-can-actually-be-a-positive-thing

https://www.amyjogoddard.com/dancing-around-sexual-vulnerability-2/

#atozwithmen #visforvulnerable #episodev #vulva #wickedwoman #Wagina #sexwithstrangers #totalnakedness #coldlightofday #vilified #greekgoddess #actaeon #actaeonreference #sideways #sandrao #whatsgonewhere #spankingcomplex #alongcamepolly #guysandnonguys #anatozofsexwithmen

This week, Raphael and Jacinta turn their attention to the humble sex noise or, as every porn film would have us believe, ‘uhhh’. Why do we make noise during sex? What noises do we make? How does hearing our partner’s noises make us feel? How do we feel about our own noises? They discuss all this and more in today’s exploration of the sex soundscape - groaning, moaning and gutteral cries abound.

Sources and recommendations:

Shape.com – 'What your sex noises really mean'

https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/sex-noises

Time magazine– What Our Sex Sounds Say About Us

https://time.com/5370374/sex-sounds-noises-faked-mara-altman-gross-anatomy/

Listen to other people's orgasm sounds here:

https://orgasmsoundlibrary.com/#gallery

Ethical porn sites:

Free Porn Videos for Her | Bellesa - Porn for Women

Crash Pad Series | Lesbian/Queer Porn from Queer Adult Filmmaker Shine Louise Houston and Pink & White Productions

Beautiful Tasteful Erotic Films & Sensual Stories for Women & Couples (frolicme.com)

Ethical gay male porn site:

Himeros.TV | The Best Gay Sex of Your Life

Listen to gay male sex sounds here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5-WJsiNG4w

#atozwithmen #uhhh #uisforuhhh #episodeu #copulatoryvocalisation #thrustthrustthrust #ballwhacking #uninhibited #sexnoises #sexsounds #mmm #peoplewhoreceive #insertivepartner #receptivepartner #anatozofsexwithmen 

Jacinta and Raphael talk a lot about their turn ons in this show, but what about their turn offs? They’ve both experienced being in the mood and raring to go, then a chance turn of phrase, mannerism or unwelcome thought leaves them suddenly cold. But why does it happen and why do those things turn us off? They surveyed their friends and it turns out turn offs are as varied and as particular as turn ons, and that’s fine. Join them for a light hearted discussion on the terrible tribulations of truncating titillations known as turn offs!

There are no trigger warnings this week. 

#atozwithmen #tisforturnoffs #turnoff #throwoff #turnofforthrowoff #auralearaction #sitonmyface #thenakedpoint #finishhim #buttonbash #tummytime #penisrecipients #anatozofsexwithmen

You there, come a little clossser, I have a sssecret.... It beginsss with the letter Sss - it’sss for Sssafe Sssexxx! That’s right folks, condoms aren’t just for preventing pregnancies. Ever since the terrifying HIV epidemic of the 80’s, safe sex has been the main method of preventing the transmission of STIs - but the stigma attached to these sordid sicknesses is unjustified. Today’s statistics show that around half of those testing positive with HIV are straight men and women, yet most people still know it as the ‘gay disease’.

From the fear of knowing your status to the guys who try to get away without protection, safe sex is everyone’s responsibility, there are lots of parallels to be had with the current global coronavirus pandemic - but knowledge is power. Stay safe everyone!

TW: Pregnancy and abortion (41:15 - 49:18), Sexual assault (50:09 - 57:20)

Sources and recommendations

Articles:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/may/23/unsafe-sex-why-everyones-at-it

https://www.australiacounselling.com.au/people-unprotected-sex/

Find out more about HIV and AIDS here:

https://www.nat.org.uk/

Find out more about the amazing Emma Cole here:

https://www.positivevoice-emmacole.co.uk/

Watch It’s A Sin by Russell T Davies here:

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/its-a-sin

Listen to Burlesque Stripped Down here:

https://anchor.fm/burlesquestrippeddown/episodes/048---Season-OSex-Vote-NO-on-Prop-60-eoc674

Listen to Jacinta talk about her abortion on the brilliant Masterbators podcast here:

https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/25-bodily-autonomy-with-jacinta/id1448369602?i=1000444206360

WE’VE GOT MERCH!

You can now find us at our BRAND SPANKING (hey hey) NEW WEBSITE: atozwithmen.com! Where you can listen to ALL the episodes, buy SEXY MERCH and support us on Patreon (especially if you want SECRET SQUIRREL ACCESS to our second OPENING THE THESAURUS for H to M (and very shortly third for N to S!), released to SUBSCRIBERS ONLY!

Follow us at:

Twitter/Instagram: @atozwithmen

Facebook: facebook.com/atozwithmen

Email: [email protected]

#atozwithmen #sisforsafesex #manymanymen #ribbedanddotted #greatbighoe  #dontbeannoying #pregamanger #armedwithcondoms #factsareimportant #amusedandbemused #anatozofsexwithmen

It's the stuff of novels and films; genres of music and artistic movements are named after it; people yearn for it, scoff at it and make grand gestures to achieve it; but what exactly is romance?

Raphael and Jacinta went into this week's recording with a very specific set of ideas and came out with their minds totally turned around. We may think we want that grand gesture, but a freshly brewed cup of coffee can be the most romantic gesture of all. And a romantic fling in a European city may set our pulses racing, but it could be a thoughtful note left on the fridge that really melts our hearts.

Join them as they readily ramble their rakish way through the ravishing ravine of romance.

TW: None

Sources:

‘Is romance REALLY essential in your life? I asked 33 people... Here are the responses…’

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNHCjL4wIdk

Lucy Jordan by Marianne Faithfull

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0NxhFn0szc

Get your delicious doughnuts here!

https://www.crosstown.co.uk/

Follow us at:

Twitter/Instagram: @atozwithmen

Facebook: facebook.com/atozwithmen

Email: [email protected]

#atozwithmen #risforromance #surveyofshh #boatingneeds #genitalarea #lepassiondejumper #flavoursoftheloveicecream #sogenz #everydayromance #romanceiscontextual #creepynotromantic #romancenotNECromance #romancethestone 

Jacinta and Raphael have arrived at the quirkiest of letters, and they can’t quite believe how quickly they’ve quoted the alphabet so far. But our ‘Quota of Quickening pulses’ would be quintessentially questionable without qualifying it with a quantity of fabulous Queerness. Q is for Queer and we have not one but TWO quirky guests to question the quagmire of queerdom, bringing their own quixotic quips and queenly quibbles to the quadrat to be queried: drag adjacent artist and performance maker, Felix Le Freak and writer, Georgia Iacovou. Covering umbrella terms (pun intended) to schoolyard mockery, we chat about our own positions on gender, sexuality and romance. Are we quorate? Good, then let’s begin our dive into the letter Q, for Queer!

TW: Homophobic language (20:14 - 20:43) (38:28 - 38:30)

Keep up with Felix Le Freak here:

https://www.instagram.com/felixlefreak/?hl=en

And book tickets to F*gwartz: A Queer Musical Quiz Cabaret Experience here:

https://www.outsavvy.com/event/6007/fgwarts-a-queer-musical-quiz-cabaret-experience

Keep up with Georgia Iacovou here:

http://www.georgiaiacovou.com/

Sources and recommendations:

The Naked Civil Servant by Quentin Crisp - https://www.waterstones.com/book/the-naked-civil-servant/quentin-crisp/9780006540441

The Weight of Them by Noelle Stevenson (about their top surgery) - https://gumroad.com/l/tJzTV

WE’VE GOT MERCH!

You can now find us at our BRAND SPANKING (hey hey) NEW WEBSITE: atozwithmen.com! Where you can listen to ALL the episodes, buy SEXY MERCH and support us on Patreon (especially if you want SECRET SQUIRREL ACCESS to our second OPENING THE THESAURUS for H to M (and very shortly third for N to S!), released to SUBSCRIBERS ONLY!

Follow us at:

Twitter/Instagram: @atozwithmen

Facebook: facebook.com/atozwithmen

Email: [email protected]

#atozwithmen #qisforqueer #quarry #knotsarequeer #queerclaire #jusset #skusset #kusset #theworldisyourgusset #clovesarequeer #feyasfuck #theprebit #kissykissywankwank #section28 #generation28 #ancientgreeksaregayasfuck #outofcontextpenis #penisitup #bottomfordays #defyingdefinition #queerisanantilabel #antilabel #georgeisqueer #hermioneisgayasfuck #anycoincidencesarepurelycoincidental #gussetbuster #anatozofsexwithmen

What’s the internet for? Yes, whether you think it’s a good thing or bad, we can all agree that porn (for which P stands this week) is everywhere, and there is no place it won’t go. We’ll start things off with a fun quiz (who doesn’t love trivia?) and find out just how much porn there is and how long we watch it for. Can the fantasy of porn ever match reality? Will you ever relive that fantasy you watched on screen? Do you get off on stopping those lemon-stealing whores? Or do you prefer a big sausage pizza?

There are no trigger warnings this episode.

Watch the intro to Lemon Stealing Whore here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5mI407Uks4

Watch the intro to Big Sausage Pizza here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5mI407Uks4

Find out more about Channel 4 show, Mums Make Porn here:

https://www.channel4.com/press/press-pack/mums-make-porn-press-pack

Follow artist, sex activist and actor, Colby Keller on Twitter here:

https://twitter.com/colbykeller?lang=en

WE’VE GOT MERCH!

You can now find us at our BRAND SPANKING (hey hey) NEW WEBSITE: atozwithmen.com! Where you can listen to ALL the episodes, buy SEXY MERCH and support us on Patreon (especially if you want SECRET SQUIRREL ACCESS to our second OPENING THE THESAURUS for H to M (and very shortly third for N to S!), released to SUBSCRIBERS ONLY!

Follow us at:

Twitter/Instagram: @atozwithmen

Facebook: facebook.com/atozwithmen

Email: [email protected]

#atozwithmen #pisforporn #bigsausagepizza #lemonstealingwhore #superdick #vulva #anatozofsexwithmen

This week’s episode will make you die. But only a little death - as this week O is for Orgasm! The big O is more complex than anyone ever realised. Oh! What a variety - from the ones that are almost nothing, to the full body experiences that linger; from the first orgasms, to the self-initiated, to the best ones, and everything in between - and that’s without even discussing all the different types of orgasm!

There’s so much to learn this week, from the known to the unknown, from the science to the vast reaches of conjecture and hearsay, surprisingly little is known about that thing which argues it lies at the very epicentre of sex: the Orgasm. But even that’s up for debate…

TW: Sexual Assault (3:09 - 4:25) (32:20 - 33:40).

Sources and recommendations:

Article about orgasm - https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/232318

WE’VE GOT MERCH!

You can now find us at our BRAND SPANKING (hey hey) NEW WEBSITE: atozwithmen.com! Where you can listen to ALL the episodes, buy SEXY MERCH and support us on Patreon (especially if you want SECRET SQUIRREL ACCESS to our second OPENING THE THESAURUS for H to M (and very shortly third for N to S!), released to SUBSCRIBERS ONLY!

Follow us at:

Twitter/Instagram: @atozwithmen

Facebook: facebook.com/atozwithmen

Email: [email protected]

#atozwithmen #oisfororgasm #suckorfuck #vaginagrab #suckitup

Jacinta and Raphael are back with a tough one - the word 'No'. Hard to say, hard to hear, yet vitally important, they explore just what our issues with 'No' might be. From milky tea to stroppy men, via many overstepped boundaries, they tell their own stories of ignored and unsaid 'no's. It's a difficult topic but they couldn't have explored it in a safer or more loving space. They hope you feel the love too!

TW: This week deals explicitly with sexual assault, coercion and crossing of boundaries. If any of these are triggers for you we recommend listening until just after Raphael's milky tea analogy, at which point there will be an 'arruga' and a warning from Jacinta that this is the safe place to stop listening.

Sources and recommendations:

Don’t Hold My Head Down by Lucy Anne Holmes

https://www.waterstones.com/book/dont-hold-my-head-down/lucy-anne-holmes/9781783528776

WE’VE GOT MERCH!

You can now find us at our BRAND SPANKING (hey hey) NEW WEBSITE: atozwithmen.com! Where you can listen to ALL the episodes, buy SEXY MERCH and support us on Patreon (especially if you want SECRET SQUIRREL ACCESS to our second OPENING THE THESAURUS for H to M (and very shortly third for N to S!), released to SUBSCRIBERS ONLY!

Follow us at:

Twitter/Instagram: @atozwithmen

Facebook: facebook.com/atozwithmen

Email: [email protected]

#atozwithmen #milkytea #cupofeugh #cruxofthematter #communicateyandmutual #maincourseofurghh