An A to Z of Sex with Men

For a podcast about sex, there's been remarkably little chat about the specifics of genitalia so far. It's now time to change all that with this week's episode, P is for Penis! (Don't worry, Vulvas will be getting an episode too, you've just gotta wait a few weeks for that one.)

Join Raphael and Jacinta as they talk penis parts (inside and out), penises in art (spoiler: there are a lot), and tell stories of penises they have known and loved. 

TW: There are no trigger warnings this week.

Sources and recommendations:

'10 things you didn't know about the penis' - https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/320748#5.-One-final-erection

'Cleopatra: Histories, Dreams and Distortions' by Lucy Hughes-Hallet - https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/505261.Cleopatra

Find out more about the Icelandic Phallological Museum here:

https://phallus.is/en/

Find out more about the V&A 'Fashioning Masculinities' here:

https://www.vam.ac.uk/exhibitions/fashioning-masculinities-the-art-of-menswear

Follow the incredible drag king, Hot Rod, on Instagram at @hotrod_drag

Follow us at:

Twitter/Instagram: @atozwithmen

Facebook: facebook.com/atozwithmen

Email: [email protected]

#atozwithmen #pisforpenis #pisforpeepee #antidepressants #angleofthedangle #penisenvy #territorialpenis #nocturnalpeniletumescance #angellust #peniswindchime #trousersnake #touchmytingly #flappypenis #anatozofsexwithmen 

Today Jacinta and Raphael have not one but TWO guests because, as we establish in the course of the episode, it takes at least four to make an orgy, which just so happens to be the focus of this week's discussion! 

The guests in question are drag adjacent performance artist, the fabulous Felix Le Freak (returning after their brilliant appearance in Season 1 episode Q is for Queer), and first time (but no less fabulous) guest, actor, musical theatre performer and educator, Tanya! 

With much merriment, the group discuss what an orgy is, how many you need to make an orgy, how to find an orgy and keep yourself safe once you're there, the etymology of 'orgy', and talk about some of their own orgiastic experiences. 

This week's orgy-related film was Dance of the 41. It elicited some strong reactions, heated discussion, and varying reviews (the hosts liked it better than the guests)! Let us know your thoughts on it, as well as on orgies! 

TW: There are no triggers this week! 

Sources and recommendations:

Learn about the etymology of the word 'orgy' here:

https://www.etymonline.com/word/orgy

Watch Dance of the 41  here:

https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/80235267

Contact:

Keep up with Felix Le Freak here:

Instagram: @felixlefreak

And buy their book, Serving Face here:

https://www.waterstones.com/book/serving-face/felix-le-freak/felix-le-freak/9780241471296

Keep up with Tanya and Jacinta's cabaret group, Cabaret Selection Box here:

Instagram: @cabaretselectionbox

Contact A to Z with Men here:

Twitter/Instagram: @atozwithmen

Facebook: facebook.com/atozwithmen

Email: [email protected]

#atozwithmen #oisfororgy #outercourse #ordinary #acoverisnotthebook #danceofthe41 #licentiousrevelry #orgiastic #sensualfun #howmanymakesanorgy #coffeeandorgy #flavoursoforgy #sarcasticblowjob #sweetshop #moustacheaction #anatozofsexwithmen

Jacinta and Raphael bare the naked truth in this week's discussion of nudity. 

They look at a range of feelings involved with nudity, from shame to confidence and embarrassment to empowerment, and look at the contexts when it is and isn't ok to be naked and why that might be. And of course how nudity should very much be on the nude person's terms, you should never have to take your clothes off if you don't want to! 

Having got to a stage in their personal journeys where they're both extremely comfortable with being naked, Jacinta and Raphael thought a good film to watch this week would be Steve McQueen's 'Shame'. They have a lot of appreciation for the naked scenes, less for the long shots of Carey Mulligan singing an extremely boring song! 

tw: domestic assault (1:25:25 - 1:26:07)

#atozwithmen #nisfornudity #nostalgia #nosuchthingasnormal #shame #michaelfassbender #nakedjobs #historyofnudity #bigsymbol #blamethevictorians #bornnaked #lifedrawing #nakedjourney #bodycontact #anatozofsexwithmen

Rounding off the first half of Season 2, we bring you an in depth discussion on Masculinity, featuring very special guest, Cabaret performer and producer of the fabulous Glitter n Titter Cabaret, Matt Rowan!

Positive, performative, toxic and fragile, Masculinity encompasses a lot of things, but what actually IS it? Is it a useful definition, a societal construct, an outdated term, an intrinsic part of our identities, or possibly all of the above? We're left uncertain, but happy to be part of this important and complex conversation. 

Our Masculinity related film this week is the 2020 version of The Boys in the Band. We were all big fans of the film, although it didn't enlighten us much further on what masculinity (or indeed femininity) is. 

TW: Reference to domestic violence (36:12 - 36:49), Homophobic Language (57:09 - 57:12), (1:00:57 - 1:00:59), (1:07:06 - 1:07:10)

Watch The Boys in the Band here:

https://www.netflix.com/gb/title/81000365

Keep up with Matt on Instagram here:

https://www.instagram.com/mattwych/

Get all your Glitter n Titter Cabaret news here:

Website: https://www.glitterntitter.co.uk/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/glitterntitter/

Follow us at:

Twitter/Instagram: @atozwithmen

Facebook: facebook.com/atozwithmen

Email: [email protected]

#atozwithmen #misformasculinity #performativity #masculinity #femininity #identity #gender #theboysintheband #formen #fragilemasculinity #toxicmasculinity #performativemasculinity #positivemasculinity #theboysintheband #anatozofsexwithmen

This week we're looking at Love's near, dear, and much maligned relation: Lust. 

Where Love is the stuff of epic poetry and enduring fiction, Lust is the stuff of banned books and pornos, hidden away behind closed doors and under creaking beds. So why is that? Why is such a strong, and often enjoyable, feeling surrounded by so much stigma?

Join us on a journey of erotic discovery, in which we examine religion's role in our cultural and societal perceptions of Lust; lament the havoc Lust in the workplace can cause; and reminisce about our own lusciously lustful encounters.

Our Lusty film of the week is Les Choses Secretes. It now holds joint first place as our highest reviewed film ever! There is a lot of lust in it, it's amazing, and we've got a lot of very complimentary things to say!

There are no triggers this week.

Sources and recommendations:

You can buy Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl here: 

https://www.wob.com/en-gb/books/andrea-lawlor/paul-takes-the-form-of-a-mortal-girl/9781529007671?gclid=Cj0KCQjwwJuVBhCAARIsAOPwGASi4-TQKfRMfVpgPOVfrmh_-PFnN4pjPURmJjay0lRaqvKVsxsLDjUaAg9lEALw_wcB

Read Healthy Lust vs. Unhealthy Lust here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/love-and-sex-in-the-digital-age/202001/healthy-lust-vs-unhealthy-lust

Buy our Thrust, Thrust, Thrust t-shirt here!

https://atozwithmen.square.site/product/men-s-v-neck-tee-thrust-/7?cp=true&sa=true&sbp=false&q=false

Follow us at:

Twitter/Instagram: @atozwithmen

Facebook: facebook.com/atozwithmen

Email: [email protected]

#atozwithmen #LisforLust #liftlust #thrustthrustthrust #sevendeadlysins #dante #dantesinferno #insatiablelust #secondglance #frissondangereuses #anatozofsexwithmen 

In this week's episode K, Raphael and Jacinta are talking all things Kissing!

Whether it's reminiscing about the pillowy lips of partners past and present; deep diving into the science of smooching; discussing kissing compatibility; or explaining the importance of consent when it comes to the platonic peck, they cover it all. Does good kissing equal good sex? Is it bad form to kiss in public (especially if you're straight)? And how does kissing make us feel? Listen now to find out! 

Our Kissing film of the week is 2017 Oscar winner, Moonlight. There's a little less kissing than we hoped for, but the ones we got were great! 

TW: Homophobic Language (59:45 - 1:00:05) (1:02:22 - 1:02:31)

Sources and recommendations:

'Why Do We Kiss? What Science Says About Smooching'  

https://www.healthline.com/health/why-do-we-kiss#:~:text=It%20boosts%20your%20'happy%20hormones,feelings%20of%20affection%20and%20bonding.

Follow us at:

Twitter/Instagram: @atozwithmen

Facebook: facebook.com/atozwithmen

Email: [email protected]

#atozwithmen #kisforkissing #kamasutra #moonlight #kithandkin #happyhormones #kissfeeding #lippy #kissingconnection #quantumkissing #salivasharing #prolongedkiss #morekissingplease #anatozofsexwithmen 

In our efforts to find something relevant beginning with J, we came up with... Just Kidding! (In other words, faking it.)

There are of course fake orgasms, which we talk a lot about. 

How common are they? Do cis men fake orgasms too?! Are fake orgasms even possible?? Have we ever faked them, or had them faked to us?

But there are, we discover, a lot of other ways of faking or 'just kidding' within romantic and sexual relationships. Can we all honestly say we're completely honest with our partners all of the time. And how openly do we actually talk about our sex lives? And are we even completely truthful with ourselves when it comes to our relationships, hookups and turn-ons? 

We had no difficulty choosing which film to watch this week. Famous for its iconic fake orgasm scene, as well as it's witty dialogue and touching central friendship and romance, it's only When Harry Met Sally! We were both surprised at just how much we enjoyed it.

TW: Homophobic Language (59:12 - 59:15)

Sources and recommendations:

Faking Orgasms: Men do it too, but it's not 'necessarily a bad thing' - https://globalnews.ca/news/2670021/faking-orgasms-men-do-it-too-but-its-not-necessarily-a-bad-thing/

The fake orgasm scene! - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNEX0fbGePg

#atozwithmen #jisforjustkidding #justkidding #jk #tellmemore #fakingit #fakeorgasm #mendoittoo #dryorgasm #crazyexgirlfriend #igaveyouauti #analtearing #whenharrymetsally #illhavewhatsheshaving #anatozofsexwithmen

This week I is for that all powerful, all consuming emotion, Infatuation.

This week Raphael and Jacinta are joined by very special guest, Achim Brandenburg (aka Prosumer) to delve into the topic of Heartbreak. 

We look at post-breakup heartbreak, the heartbreak after the loss of a loved one, and the physical impact heartbreak can have on your actual heart. Amongst the usual 'extensive' research, practical (and less practical) advice, witty anecdotes and film discussion, Achim movingly shares his feelings of heartbreak following the recent loss of his close friend, Gary. We feel so privileged to have been able to honour Gary and his memory and legacy on our podcast and would like to dedicate this episode to him. 

This week's Heartbreak related film is Mario (a 2018 Swiss film directed by Marcel Gisler), a love story between footballers Mario and Leon. Our nutshell review is: 'beautiful sex scenes, too much football, why is being gay always the problem??' but listen to the episode for our in depth analysis. 

TW: Coercion and Sexual Assault (5:53 - 10:16)

Sources and recommendations:

'The Science of a Broken Heart and How to Put It Back Together' - https://greatist.com/happiness/science-broken-heart#death

'Hacking Heartbreak: The Ultimate Guide to Getting Over 'The One'' - https://www.bbc.co.uk/bbcthree/article/996edc30-d6e9-480b-b4a8-15b626f0aa76

Follow Achim on instagram here: @prosumerama 

Contact Achim about hypnotherapy and sound/gong baths here: https://resonant.me/about/

Follow us at:

Twitter/Instagram: @atozwithmen

Facebook: facebook.com/atozwithmen

Email: [email protected]

#atozwithmen #HisforHeartbreak #getoutmylido #beltane #warmication #heartbreak #scienceoflove #impartial #stagesofgrief #oursong #mario #football #anatozofsexwithmen

This week we are getting technical and discussing the all important genitals! 

We all have them, we all use them (for peeing if not for sexing), but do we really know them? A bit of research suggests that, no, we don't. Vas deferens anyone? Or what about a mons pubis? In this episode we try to clarify a bit of genital biology, as well as exploring our relationship with our own genitals. Turns out it can be complicated, but ultimately, every genital is different and, more importantly, every genital is gorgeous! 

At the end of the episode we treat ourselves to genital filled movie, Wetlands, based on the novel of the same name by Charlotte Roche. It's visceral, gross, sweet, sexy, and excellent. We can heartily recommend! 

There are no trigger warnings this week! 

Sources and recommendations:

'Female Internal Genital Organs' - https://www.msdmanuals.com/en-gb/home/women-s-health-issues/biology-of-the-female-reproductive-system/female-internal-genital-organs

Intersex information - https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/001669.htm

Genitalia sketches - https://dirtycode.io/

Books we mentioned were:

- How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran

- Cunt by Inga Muscio 

Follow us at:

Twitter/Instagram: @atozwithmen

Facebook: facebook.com/atozwithmen

Email: [email protected]

#atozwithmen #gisforgenitals #genitals #genitalia #groping #publicgroping #donaldtrumpreference #gag #wetlands #charlotteroche #nudity #sexeducation #vulvacupcakes #penisscrotumballs #everygenitalisgorgeous #visceral #balls #ballplay #greatbritishfuckoff #bigmouth #onlyconnect #hellocervix #pussyhygiene #healthypussyflora #penis #vulva #anatozofsexwithmen