An All Night Place - Secular AA

Four years into sobriety, Ash is discovering something that once seemed almost impossible: the ability to trust Ash.

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In this candid and often funny speaker share, Ash reflects on growing up in a family affected by addiction, becoming the fixer who tried to hold everyone together, and learning to stop avoiding their own pain. Recovery has brought difficult decisions, relationship breakdowns, financial setbacks and moments of profound emotional struggle. But it has also brought something unexpected: the knowledge that they can survive hard things without losing themselves.

Ash speaks about the power of fellowship, finding people who offer acceptance without judgement, learning to set boundaries, and discovering that vulnerability can be met with kindness rather than rejection. They explore radical acceptance, taking responsibility without getting trapped in blame, and the freedom that comes from doing the next right thing, one day at a time.

This share is about more than putting down a drink. It is about rebuilding self-trust, finding the courage to ask for help, accepting imperfection and learning that setbacks do not erase progress.

Ash's message is honest, irreverent and deeply human: you don't have to have everything figured out. Keep showing up, keep trying, and give yourself the chance to discover that you are capable of getting through more than you ever thought possible.

Jenny’s life began with 53 operations before the age of 13.

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Born disabled, subjected to abuse, and repeatedly told what she would never be able to do, she learned early what it meant to survive. Then came alcohol, introduced long before she was old enough to understand the consequences. By her teens, drinking and other substances had become ways to cope, escape, and navigate a world that had never made things easy.

In this raw, darkly funny and deeply personal share, Jenny takes us through the childhood experiences that shaped her, the relationship between her mental health and her drinking, and the long, sometimes painful journey toward recovery. She also challenges the idea that sobriety can be measured simply in days, months or years. What matters is the life you build, the work you do on yourself, and the willingness to keep showing up.

With a sharp sense of humor, a house full of animals, and an unexpectedly powerful message of hope, Jenny reminds us that recovery isn't about perfection or resting on yesterday's achievements. It's about getting through today without picking up, finding people whose recovery you want, and sharing what you've learned.

Her message to newcomers is simple: you don't have to take her word for it. Stay, do the work, and discover the promises for yourself.

She was drinking a handle of Jack Daniel’s a night.

Her breathalyser read .45.

Rehab called her “Dead Girl Walking.”

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Willow’s story begins with a chaotic childhood, alcohol and drugs at an astonishingly young age, and an abusive relationship that left scars she spent years trying to outrun. Outwardly successful, she was privately drinking herself into oblivion, until losing the family she loved brought her to the edge.

Then came the call for help, rehab, and sobriety.

But getting sober didn’t magically fix everything. Willow was later diagnosed with bipolar disorder, faced the challenge of managing her mental health without alcohol, and began confronting the trauma she had buried for decades.

She also found herself wrestling with AA’s religious language, struggling to reconcile its spiritual demands with the atheist upbringing she came from. After years away from meetings, discovering secular AA reignited something she thought she’d lost.

Now, with nearly twelve years sober, Willow is doing the work again: therapy, trauma recovery, mental health management, and a fresh approach to the Steps.

Her message is clear: sobriety isn’t the finish line. It’s the chance to finally face what’s underneath.

Because putting down the bottle doesn’t mean the battle is over. Sometimes, that’s when the real work begins.

A little boy hid in a broken-down truck, covered in blood. Nobody came looking.

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Leo learned early that the world wasn't safe, that he was on his own, and that alcohol could make the pain disappear. By eight, he was drinking. By adulthood, years of unresolved childhood trauma, escalating addiction and destructive behaviour had brought him to a moment that nearly cost another person their life. He landed in prison, facing the consequences of his actions.

But getting sober wasn't the same as getting well.

In this powerful speaker share, Leo traces the road from childhood abuse and isolation to alcoholism, imprisonment and, eventually, a radically different way of living. He reveals how a lime-green Jeep unlocked memories he'd buried for decades, why he spent years avoiding the truth about his alcoholism, and how it took six years of sobriety before he fully accepted Step One.

His story is about more than stopping drinking. It's about confronting the past without using it to excuse the present, accepting responsibility, and discovering that life can become simpler even when it isn't easy.

And then there's the vending machine of sobriety: one dollar required, 99 cents won't do.

As Leo approaches eleven years sober (at midnight), he shares what changed when he stopped blaming everyone else and started doing the work.

Sometimes recovery begins when you stop running from the truth.

Rizal has been drinking and using drugs for 35 years, but he never thought he had a problem.

In this raw and often hilarious share, he talks about the pride and ego that surrounded his drinking, the checklist he created for what it meant to be a good person, and the brutal realisation that he had never asked whether his boxes were the right boxes.

He describes Step One as the hardest thing he has ever done, learning to admit that he is powerless over alcoholism and needs direction.

He talks about self-centredness, honesty, higher power, and why there is no Step called “Figure It Out”. Now 1,010 days clean and sober, Rizal has rebuilt relationships with his children, regained employment and begun repairing the wreckage left behind.

Most importantly, he has learned that recovery means putting pride and ego aside, following the directions and applying the principles every day.

Why sit on a pink cloud, when you can wrap yourself in a lavender blanket?"

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Natalie’s journey to sobriety is a story of family patterns, heartbreak, denial, and the hard-won freedom of learning to live differently.

Growing up with an alcoholic father and a volatile home environment, Natalie was determined never to follow the same path. Yet when she eventually began drinking, alcohol became a way to cope with emotional pain. A devastating breakup marked a turning point, and over the years her drinking progressed despite outpatient treatment, inpatient rehab, and repeated attempts to stop.

Her rock bottom came through a combination of a domestic violence relationship, being caught drinking at work, and a hospitalisation for pancreatitis. Faced with the consequences of her drinking, Natalie finally became willing to work the Twelve Steps, even though she had long struggled with the spiritual side of AA.

Now sober since 14 May 2024, Natalie speaks candidly about the peace, clarity, and strength she has found in recovery. She shares how sobriety helped her rebuild her health, establish boundaries, leave an abusive relationship, protect her career, and discover the value of a supportive recovery community.

From her idea of a “lavender blanket” of lasting inner peace to learning to make decisions aligned with her values, Natalie’s experience is a reminder that recovery is not about becoming perfect. It is about becoming willing, staying connected, and taking life one day at a time.

Listen to Natalie’s honest and heartfelt share on the **An All Night Place (AANP) Podcast**.

She spent years trying to fit in. Alcohol made her feel like she finally did.

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In this episode of the AANP Podcast, Lauren talks openly about alcoholism, identity, belonging and what it took to build a life without alcohol.

Adopted at birth and raised in an environment where achievement and competition mattered, Lauren learned early to measure herself against the expectations around her. At university, alcohol and drugs seemed to offer something she had been searching for: freedom from anxiety, self-consciousness and the pressure to be someone she wasn't.

But the freedom didn't last.

Lauren takes us through her drinking, relationships, attempts at sobriety and the consequences that eventually forced her to look at what was really happening. She talks about the difference between simply stopping drinking and actually changing the way she lived.

Her recovery has brought unexpected changes: stronger relationships, a deeper connection with her children, greater acceptance of herself and a willingness to embrace the parts of herself she once tried to hide.

This is a conversation about addiction, but also identity, belonging, perfectionism and vulnerability. Ultimately, Lauren's story is about discovering that freedom doesn't come from becoming someone else. It comes from learning to be yourself.

“If all you can do today is breathe and stay sober, then that's totally okay.”

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Celebrating 18 months of sobriety, Lexi shares an extraordinarily candid journey through alcoholism, trauma, domestic violence, family struggles and the challenges of raising six children, including two with special needs. She talks about the years when drinking seemed like the only way to cope, and the gradual transformation she has experienced through Alcoholics Anonymous.

For Lexi, recovery has meant learning that serenity doesn’t mean everything is perfect. Sometimes it means simply being okay with being okay, giving yourself grace, staying sober and accepting that you don’t need to have all the answers.

She speaks about the role of service, sponsorship, accountability, rigorous honesty and connection, and how changing her perspective has changed the way she lives. Her 500-plus consecutive days of service have taught her as much about recovery as sobriety itself.

Above all, Lexi's message is one of hope: no matter how badly we want to drink, we don’t have to. There is always another option, another day, another alcoholic to help, and a hand reaching back into the room.

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Ralph shares a powerful and refreshingly candid perspective on long-term sobriety, beginning with his journey into treatment in 2003 and the “gift of desperation” that gave him the willingness to try something different.

His recovery story explores what it can mean to find a path through the Twelve Steps without a traditional belief in God, and how philosophy, meditation, Stoicism and personal intention have helped him develop a practical way of living sober. He reflects on learning to pause rather than react, becoming more present, recognising what he can and cannot control, and continually working towards becoming a better version of himself.

Ralph also speaks openly about profound loss, including the death of his sister through addiction, and the devastating consequences of a fatal road accident in which he was involved. Rather than searching for a predetermined “plan,” he describes finding meaning by using painful experiences to help others.

With more than two decades of sobriety, Ralph discusses the continuing value of meetings, therapy, step work, humility and remaining open to learning beyond AA.

A thoughtful, challenging and deeply human conversation about recovery, responsibility, acceptance and the ongoing work of becoming.

In this one-year-sober share, Jon reflects on humility, identity, recovery and the question that has shaped his first year: what could I become?

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He talks about learning to see himself more clearly, not only through the mistakes of the past, but through the life he is building now. Recovery, for him, has become less about what he had to give up and more about what he gets to participate in: fatherhood, friendship, service, community, music, curiosity and joy.

Jon also shares how sobriety has changed his understanding of accountability, shame and what it means to show up for the people he loves. He reflects on the importance of action, the value of being useful to others, and the possibility that a meaningful life is built one small decision at a time.

At the center of the share is a simple definition of humility: seeing clearly who we are, then making a sincere attempt to become what we could be.

One year sober, Jon doesn’t claim to have everything figured out. He is simply grateful to be present for his life and curious about what comes next.