I’m obsessed with my own podcast stats.

There! I said it.

If the first step is admitting you have a problem, then…well, consider this episode my very public confession.

But here’s the real kicker: I never saw this coming.

I didn’t realize hitting 'refresh' on the analytics page of my podcast hosting dashboard would become my new form of adrenaline. Or that watching the listener count go up (or, terrifyingly, down) would trigger a rollercoaster of feelings straight out of a neurotic coming-of-age movie starring a main character who really needs to learn to enjoy the ride.

If you’ve been following along on Threads or ever found yourself spiraling because you suddenly cared way too much about something you didn’t even know you could care about?

This episode is about stats, ego, validation, self-doubt, and, yes, generational trauma—all tangled up with the anxious humor only someone with a dedicated “kinahura” detector can provide.

I talk about what it’s like to watch the numbers climb (and sometimes fall), and how ego, imposter syndrome, and a hefty sense of “why are you all here again?” combine to create the weirdest kind of nervous excitement imaginable.

Thanks for being here, friends (repeat listeners, you’re my favorite kind of statistical anomaly).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to refresh the analytics—again.

Love you, mean it.