Ancient Intelligence

Tell me what your relationship is like with the opposite sex and I’ll tell you what your relationship was like with your mom (man) or dad (woman).

This episode is a more vulnerable look at the masculine and feminine wounds in our lives including bits of my own story. The truth is that while difficulties with the opposite sex are universal, why we experience them is highly individual. I get into the spectrum of wounds we carry and how we create the protective stories we do in order to survive. The range is from emotional obsession and people pleasing all the way to cold detachment and resentment.

Compassion is what we need to heal the divide between men and women, but compassion can’t exist when our pain runs the show. Listen in to hear personal stories, generational patterns, and some subtle ways both men and women carry unmet needs which result in inner turmoil throughout the duration of their lives.

Timestamps:

00:00 - 01:14 Episode Trailer and Intro

01:14 - 02:21 Individual vs collective anger

02:21 - 05:14 How it feels to advertise a product you don't believe in

05:14 - 06:36 Men care more about pets than partners?

06:36 - 08:08 Why are men so lonely today?

08:08 - 10:52 Why do I care so much about healing male and female relationships?

10:52 - 13:16 How my dates went before I actually healed 

13:16 - 15:43 Daddy issues Mommy issues

15:43 - 17:50 Why it's harder to spot wounds from moms than those from dads

17:50 - 21:51 What breeds 'nice guys' and 'macho males'

21:51 - 23:35 This is why you always date emotionally unavailable people

23:35 - 24:15 'Nice guys' vs 'Cool girls'

24:15 - 26:24 Does animosity between the two sexes work?

26:24 - 28:20 Mens’ vs Womens’ purpose

28:20 - 29:50 Final thoughts and key takeaways

29:50 - 30:28 Outro

____________________________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

You can book a discovery call at anyashakh.com

This episode is about understanding the duality within each of us, both man and woman.

We have both human animal which refers to our primal instincts and human soul which refers to our connection to something higher, something greater than ourselves and our survival instincts.

Listen in to learn about what each of these parts want, how they behave, what they can teach us about sexuality and partnership, and how relationships between men and women can be better understood through this lens. I also talk about the crisis we have in regard to the term, provision and I expand on female sexuality and why there’s so much confusion today.

Timestamps:

00:00 - 00:35 Episode trailer

00:35 - 01:15 Intro and Episode Overview

01:15 - 02:52 Sex work then vs now

02:52 -  05:46  Wives and Courtesans

05:46 - 10:20 Human animal vs human soul

10:20 - 13:53 Are men and women different? 

13:53 - 16:04 Is Monogamy better than polygamy?

16:04 - 19:49 Money ≠ Protection and Provision

19:49 - 20:48 Crisis in female and male partnership

20:48 - 23:01  Should we change what provision means? 

23:01 - 28:31 Conor Mcgregor vs Nick Freitas

28:31 - 31:17 Dads need to prepare their girls for this

31:17 - 31:56 Outro

____________________________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

You can book a discovery call at anyashakh.com

We live in a world that loves to slap a pretty pink bow on something we’d rather not acknowledge, like covering a zit with a glittery cute little star. Prostitution has existed since the beginning of time but today we’re pretending it’s something that it’s not. This has created a strangely fine line between casual sex and “sex work.” I want to unpack the tension point between sex and sexual empowerment as they are not one and the same.

This episode is about female sexuality, the harm of casual sex for women, what women’s healing really is, and more.

*The documentary I mention is ‘Strip Down, Rise Up’ based on the program the S Factor by Sheila Kelley

Timestamps:

00:00 - 00:35 Episode Trailer

00:35 - 01:10 Intro and Episode Overview

01:10 - 03:38 Are we just Pretending?

03:38 - 06:31 Sugar baby-daddy dynamics

06:31 - 07:47 Did she embellish?

07:47 - 09:33 The evolution of prostitution

09:33 - 11:07 When is a woman in touch with her sexuality?

11:07 - 15:13 What is sexual empowerment for women?

15:13 - 18:16 The pole-dancing course for empowerment

18:16 - 20:15 This is female de-empowerment

20:15 - 21:45 Differences between men and women

21:45 - 22:02 Final thoughts

22:02 - 22:43 Outro

I spent last weekend listening to John Eldredge on Pints with Aquinas, and I have some important takeaways. One that really stood out to me is how he framed man and woman’s greatest fear. Understanding this in a deep way can help us understand why we do what we do as men and women. It can help us see what’s important to us and how we can sometimes use control and manipulation to try to avoid this big fear buries deep within our hearts.

Listen in as I discuss this fear (that is different for men and women) as well as why dad plays such a powerful role in our lives and what the ultimate gift that boys and girls are looking for from him to have the best shot as growing up happy, healthy, and fulfilled.

Timestamps:

00:00 - 01:20 Intro

01:20 - 02:50 Meditating on John Eldredge

02:50 - 03:35 Why are men and women this way?

03:35 - 07:10 Men and Womens’ greatest fear

07:10 - 09:24 The one question dads need to answer

09:24 - 10:43 The importance of a deep relationship with God

10:43 - 11:48 What appreciation does for men

11:48 - 14:06 The crown of a woman

14:06 - 16:39 One of the biggest issues with our culture

16:39 - 17:58 The ultimate gift from dads to their daughters

17:58 - 19:07 My experience with my dad

19:07 - 22:17 The gift of the father

22:17 - 22:35 Subscribe to the newsletter

22:35 - 24:33 My review and takeaways from The White Lotus

24:33 - 27:17 Thinking about how deadly financial blows can be to men

27:17 - 27:56 Outro

____________________________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

What do teen boys and girls need from us right now?

I had the privilege of hosting Rachelle Bergstein, lifestyle writer, author, and editor in a conversation about the complexities of adolescence today for teen boys and girls. Being able to reach teenagers to inspire them to see the good in each other, boy and girl, is a dream of mine. Rachelle’s work has appeared in the New York Post, The New York Times, NPR, and more. She is the author of three books: Women from the Ankle Down, Brilliance and Fire, and The Genius of Judy. She lives with her husband and son in Brooklyn.

We focus much of the conversation on her most recent book, The Genius of Judy and diving into questions that include: what’s happening with teen girls? Is opposite sex friendship a good idea for teens? How do we deal with the tension point around sexuality overload juxtaposed with big feelings of shame and low self esteem? Who is nonmonagamy actually serving? what struggles are boys facing? How do we teach kids about sex in a way that fosters sacredness while avoiding shame?

Find out more at RachelleBergstein.com

Timestamps:

00:37 - 01:01 Introduction and Guest Welcome

01:01 - 02:02 Rachelle Bergstein's Background

02:02 - 02:58 Judy Blume and Sex Education

02:58 - 04:55 Is it okay for kids to learn about sex?

04:55 - 07:35 Talking to Kids About Sex

07:35 - 09:25 What really is proper Sex-ed?

09:25 - 10:22 The most sexless generation ever

10:22 - 11:46 Rachelle's sex-ed utopia

11:46 - 14:41 Dealing with the 'Sex like a man' trend

14:41 - 17:09 Is it wrong to be non-monogamous?

17:09 - 18:12 Who was Judy Blume?

18:12 - 19:42 Masturbation and teenagers

19:42 - 21:13 Judy Blume's most controversial book

21:13 - 22:56 Ancient Rituals in Modern Parenting

22:56 - 24:19 Finding a rite of passage for girls

24:19 - 27:34 What compelled Lily phillips' actions?

27:34 - 28:48 Does porn make girls fear sex?

28:48 - 29:33 The Impact of Extreme Pornography on Teens

29:33 - 32:29 What are boys struggling with?

32:29 - 34:16 The Crisis of Young Masculinity

34:16 - 35:07 Friendships Between Boys and Girls

35:07 - 38:22 Can boys and girls really be 'just friends'?

38:22 - 38:49 Empathy and Understanding Between Genders

38:49 - 41:15 What fascinates boys about teenage girls?

41:15 - 43:23 What do teenage girls admire about teenage boys?

43:23 - 44:57 The beauty of teenage years

44:57 - 46:05 Does pornography have a role in society today?

46:05 - 47:33 I no longer trust compliments from this age group

47:33 - 49:05 Differences in what the sexes find attractive

49:05 - 49:53 About Alison Armstrong

49:53 - 52:10 Final Thoughts and Takeaways

____________________________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Welcome to this appreciation episode. These are 10 things I love about men with some evolutionary psychology and storytelling mixed in. Listen in to learn why men are better at prioritization and how much men care about and show their care for the people in their lives. Learn about what the biggest recorded sex difference is and how it translates to one of the things I love most about men and more.

00:00 -  01:09 Intro and Episode Overview

01:09 - 02:29 Appreciating a male friend

02:29 - 03:23 Are men better at prioritization?

03:23 - 06:19 Men's propensity for finding purpose and provision

06:19 - 08:16 Masculinity as your ultimate truth

08:16 - 09:57 Men's desire to make the world a better place

09:57 - 11:34 The primal nature of men

11:34 - 13:38 Men's Accountability

13:38 - 14:05 Men as builders

14:05 - 15:31 Biggest difference between the sexes

15:31 - 18:00 Men are direct

18:00 - 19:31 Men's innocence

19:31 - 22:40 Men actually care

22:40 - 24:52 Male Physicality

24:52 - 27:36 This from a man is his woman's medicine

27:36 - 28:04 Ending and Outro

____________________________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

You can book a discovery call at anyashakh.com

I just returned from an immersive training run by the Uncivilized Man Organization with Traver Boehm and led by one of the wisest men I’ve ever met - Duey Freeman. With over 50 years of experience in psychotherapy, he impacted me in a big way. One big theme stood out and it’s the root cause of so many of our issues with each other - our struggles aren’t about trauma, they are about fragmented attachment that prevents us from grieving and healing trauma.

While we are full-fledged adults in many aspects of our lives like work, leisure activities, productivity; we are small children relationally. When our earliest needs were not met we subconsciously imprinted a belief system about our place in the world and how we should relate to others. The beliefs, many times, sound like - I’m not good enough, the world is not safe, I can’t trust anyone, They will probably leave me, etc.

As we dive into healing relationships and understanding the opposite sex more and more having a good grasp on this ‘operating system’ that we run throughout lives is the most important thing as it’s the root cause of everything we experience or don’t experience in our lives.

Timestamps:

00:00 - 00:51 Intro and Overview of today's episode

00:51 - 02:52 What I learned from Duey Freeman

02:52 - 04:43 Attachment, not trauma Issues

04:43 - 05:18 What the healing process is about

05:18 - 07:35 Why are men hurting so much?

07:35 - 09:25  Where hyper-stoic men come from

09:25 - 11:28  When do attachment breaches begin?

11:28 - 14:21 What happens when babies don’t get attunement?

14:21 - 16:23 How does unhealthy attachment manifest?

16:23 - 17:57 Where 'Nice guys’ come from

17:57 - 19:17 Does anyone have a perfect attachment?

19:17 - 19:53 Outro and closing remarks

____________________________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

You can book a discovery call at anyashakh.com

There is a huge amount of distrust between the sexes in the air. It seems like much more than before, what’s going on? In this episode I get into three main areas of focus that in my view are some root causes for this (though I’m certain there are many more). The first one is disrespect, specifically the lack of appreciation for the sacrifices men make. The second one is the sexuality overload that exists in our societies, specifically brining sexuality in places it doesn’t belong and then not taking accountability for that. Finally the erosion of male only spaces which causes so many further problems down the line pushing the trust gap wider.

00:00 - 00:43 Intro

00:43 - 02:21 Today's episode overview

02:21 - 03:50 The distrust between men and women

03:50 - 05:22 How did they convince women that they had no agency?

05:22 - 09:35 Men vs Women's Greatest Fears

09:35 - 11:13 Career over motherhood?

11:13 - 13:41 The disrespect towards mens’ sacrifices

13:41 - 14:59 Sexuality Overload

14:59 - 17:26 Differences in how the sexes interact with the world

17:26 - 18:59 The erosion of mens’ spaces

18:59 - 21:28 Respecting the differences between the sexes

21:28 - 22:24 The good ol’ days of mystique and mystery

22:24 - 22:36 Ending and outro

____________________________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

You can book a discovery call at anyashakh.com

Another Subscriber Q&A - The nine questions that I cover are:

What is your take on stoicism? Is it something that’s applicable to men and women?

What do you think of prenups?

Is it important as a woman to learn how to turn off my masculine energy at home. I struggle with this?

What are the top differences between mean and women that cause the most problems?

Do you have a cutoff age for a man you’re willing to date?

How much should I change to try and find a woman?

Do you believe in long-distance relationships?

I know many women engineers, maybe men and women aren’t as different as we think?

Do you think society does a good job teaching women how to attract and hold onto good men?

Timestamps:

Intro 00:00 - 01:18

Question 1 01:18 - 06:04 

Question 2 06:04 - 08:08

Question 3 08:08 - 11:07

Question 4 11:07 - 16:47

Question 5 16:47 - 17:11

Question 6 17:11 - 21:04

Question 7 21:04 - 22:23

Question 9 22:23 - 29:17

Outro 29:17 - 29:38

____________________________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

You can book a discovery call at anyashakh.com

In this episode I outline 5 ways that I honor men in my day to day life. Understanding how men approach life is important and then taking steps to make space for it makes a huge difference. Listen in to learn about what a legendary question is? what does respect actually mean? Why these 5 things matter based on singular versus diffused focus? and plenty of examples and anecdotes.

If you want more on singular versus diffused focus tune into episode 59 - The Biggest Difference between Men & Women Pt 1

Which one lands most for you?

Timestamps:

Intro 00:00 - 03:19 

Our Different Roles 03:19 - 05:54 

1st way to honor men  05:54 - 08:09

2nd way to honor men 08:09 - 11:34

3rd way to honor men 11:34 - 13:49

4th way to honor men  11:34 - 16:14

5th way to honor men 16:14 - 19:26

Outro 19:26 - 20:39

____________________________________________

If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.

You can also watch the episodes on youtube here

Follow me on Instagram @anyashakh

You can book a discovery call at anyashakh.com