... And It’s Writing

Trailer! A taste of our Comp Titles mini-episode.

What do words like "just", "really", and "all" have in common? They can act as excess fluff and filler, which clutter up your writing and make it less readable.

In this episode, a slightly rusty D.C. and Avery will show how to clean up these words by revising an old piece of our writing.

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Books and resources mentioned in this episode:

The Goldfinch, by Donna Tartt

Welcome Home, by Death and Co

Autocrit (revising software)

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Drink: Lemon Fluff

A basic citrus sour with marshmallow fluff added, to represent the “extra fluff” of filler words.

2oz Vodka

¾ oz curacao

1 oz Lemon juice

¾ oz Simple syrup

Dollop of marshmallow fluff (~1-2 tbsp)

Granulated sugar (for glass rim) (for extra fun, you can use colorful sanding sugar in gold or yellow)

Shake vodka, curacao, lemon juice, and simple syrup in a cocktail shaker with ice.

Rim a coupe, martini, or sour glass with sugar.

Pour cocktail into coupe and top with a dollop of marshmallow fluff.

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Excerpts:

BEFORE:

Mother gave me that look. The one that said she knew I was really hiding something, and also knew that I was just not going to tell her. But she was no fool. She’d seen my eyes flicker over to the flower and back. My heart began to race as I remembered Leon’s soft smile. Something about the incident just stuck in my head, replaying that meeting in an endless cycle.

Being friends with a Prince could be somewhat fun, though. It would make all those girls who had laughed at me at that tea party really think twice.

My mother seemed to sense my change of heart, with that maternal intuition. “We are actually invited to the royal table for breakfast,” she told me excitedly.  “That is a rare privilege, so please do your best to look grateful.”  She looked at me with a gaze that was both motherly command and plea.

 

AFTER:

Mother gave me the look. She knew I was hiding something, but she was no fool. She’d seen my eyes flicker to the flower and back. My heart raced as I remembered Leon’s soft smile. The incident stuck in my head, replaying that meeting in an endless cycle.

Being friends with a Prince could be exciting. It would make those girls who laughed at me think twice.

My mother seemed to sense my change of heart. “We’re invited to the royal table for breakfast,” she said.  “This is a rare privilege, so please do your best to look grateful.” 

 

Initial Word Count: 155

After Editing Wordcount: 99

In this episode, we chat about quick and dirty ways to cut down your word count, for those looking to shorten your work.Items mentioned in this episode:

43 Words You Should Cut from Your Writing Immediately, by Diana Urban

AutoCrit

What are comparative titles? When querying, you'll inevitably run across the need to provide a couple of books that are similar to yours. In this episode, we talk about how to find them and why you need them."Two Cakes" webcomic (originally by stuffman on Tumblr)

When should you revise your current draft, and when should you take the Etch-A-Sketch approach and do a full rewrite? And how do you handle the emotional fallout of realizing you need to start over?In this mini-episode, D.C. and Avery discuss their thoughts on the "do it all over" part of the process.

D.C. and Avery discuss naughty words in fiction: when to use them, when is it too much, and why would you want to swear in your writing?CORRECTION: Apparently Avery does not remember the difference between Babylon 5 and Battlestar Galactica but in our defense, that drink was pretty strong. :D

----more----Books mentioned in this episode:

The Echo Maker, by Richard Powers

Imbibe! by David Wondrich

Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption, by Stephen King

American Gods, by Neil Gaiman

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Drink for this episode:

S.H.I.T

2.5oz Sour Mix (can buy premade, but I used the homemade recipe below)

.75oz Huckleberry Syrup

1oz Italicus Bergamot Liqueur

1oz Tequila (Blanco)

1 cup of ice

Combine all in a blender

Blend well

Pour into a coupe or margarita glass

Homemade Sour Mix Recipe

1/2c water

1/2c sugar

1/2c lemon juice

1/4c lime juice

Heat water and sugar until sugar dissolves. Set aside to cool.

While syrup cools, squeeze juice and strain into a bottle using a fine mesh strainer.

Combine cooled syrup and juice in a bottle, shake well.

Will last 1-2 weeks refrigerated. Can add a little bit of vodka to make it last up to a month in the fridge.

Should you include a prologue? An epilogue? How do you decide when one is necessary, and if so, how to avoid the stigma surrounding them?We ponder these questions in today's mini-episode.

We all make mistakes. In today's mini-episode, DC and Avery tell all, sharing some of their most egregious mistakes made while querying.

What does the term "morally grey" mean, when it comes to building a character? And how does one create an unlikable but compelling protagonist? Join Avery and DC as we mull and discuss these questions!

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References in this episode:

- Brandon Sanderson's Three-Pronged Character Sliding Scales- V.E. Schwab's Vicious- Marvel Cinematic Universe's Black Panther

DC and Avery discuss whether "said is dead" or "said is invisible", the use of outlandish dialogue tags, and how action beats can break up repetitive dialogue. Featuring an excerpt from one of Avery's very oldest writing samples.----more----

Books mentioned in this episode:

- A Little Life, by Hanya Yanagihara

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Drinks for this episode:

Both of the cocktails this week highlight Interrobang brand vermouth. The Interrobang (‽) is a punctuation symbol that combines an exclamation point and question mark, appropriate for a discussion of dialogue tags.

“The Nod” Cocktail

2oz Interrobang Sweet Vermouth

.5oz fresh squeezed orange juice

.25oz maraschino liqueur

3oz seltzer

Orange wedge (for garnish)

Combine all (except orange wedge) in a highball glass filled with ice.

Stir gently.

Garnish with the orange wedge.

“Said isn’t Dead” Cocktail

2.5oz Interrobang White Vermouth

1oz vodka

1oz grapefruit juice

.5oz honey syrup

Lemon wheel (or dried lemon wheel) for garnish

Pour all into a cocktail shaker filled with ice.

Shake well until chilled.

Strain into a martini or coupe glass.

Garnish with a lemon wheel, or float a dried lemon wheel on top.

----more----Excerpt (Before Edits):

Now that they were all there, she showed Eric and Austin the riddle. 

"Time!" Austin declared the answer proudly, his green eyes flashing as he picked up the now-abandoned remote with a triumphant expression and switched to Comedy Central.

Suddenly Cass felt stupid. She should have figured it out.

"But now what?" Tara asked.

"Well, we find time," Eric laughed shyly.

"But we’ve gotta hurry or we’ll run out of time!" Austin joked back.

"Oh, shut up you guys," Cass said playfully.

"A clock?" Tara suggested.

"But which one?" Austin asked.

"The main clock tower. In the old section of town." Michael suggested. "It's sort of the clock, you know?"

"But it's shut down," Tara cautioned.

"All the more fun." Michael flashed even, white teeth. His dark eyes grew mysterious suddenly. "It'll be an adventure. Come on."

Cass suggested they check the clocks in the house first. They found nothing.

"I guess it's the tower then," Cass sighed, feeling very apprehensive. It was growing dark.

"We'll take my van," Austin suggested.

 

Excerpt (After Edits):

When everyone arrived, she showed Eric and Austin the riddle. 

"Time!" Austin declared the answer proudly, picking up the now-abandoned remote, and switched to Comedy Central.

Cass felt stupid. She should have figured it out.

"But now what?" Tara said.

"Well, we find time." Eric laughed so hard, a booger flew out of his nose.

"But we’ve gotta hurry or we’ll run out of time!" Austin said.

Cass rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh, shut up, you guys." 

"A clock?" Tara suggested. "But which one?"

"The main clock tower. In the old section of town," Michael said. He took out his comb and brushed a tangle out of his hair. "It's sort of the clock, you know?"

"But it's shut down," Tara said.

Michael flashed his even, white teeth, and his dark eyes grew mysterious. "All the more fun. It'll be an adventure. Come on."

They checked the clocks in the house first and found nothing.

Impatiently, after looking for hours, Cass threw a box of glass at a window, and it shattered. "Well I guess it's the tower then," Cass groaned, looking out the broken window. It was growing dark.

"We'll take my van," Austin said.