Refilling my batteries via the beach. White pepper. Start, ready or not, you don’t need to know anything else. Stumble, learn, don’t wait.

Other people’s words, blood donation, and worn out. Mary Oliver’s “Messenger” - “All the ingredients are here.” Affirmations. A passage from Cleo Wade’s “Heart Talk” - “You never know just how many people you may be a lighthouse for.”

Procrastination. The time you spend building yourself up versus tearing yourself down. The negative monologue you know backwards and forwards. Flip the script, even if you don’t believe it yet. Deep breaths.

The cost of smallness, of giving up. What that person feels like. Inching closer, choosing, and staying. I have it on my wall now, mind maze, and feeling satisfied. Day to day life, sameness, and what else it could be like.

Pizza catastrophe. Spider and curtain rod situation. Never-mind. Breakfast for dinner. The clicking of my nightmares. And my face is breaking out as the icing on the cake.

Reminder 1 and 2. Birthright, unconditionally, brave, and putting pieces of yourself aside. Invisible, heart break, good company, and stumbling. Nothing can fix it, wholeness, butterflies, and flying.

Should be momentous. Lonely and task task task task day. Pausing moments, the in-between, lag, and facing life. Overwhelm of what you push aside and task moments being for others versus your time. Oh how I always wish, sigh. Moving forward and falling flat on our faces. Absorbed into doing while being mindful, being ourselves and what the cumulative job days feel like.

A bop to help me do housework. On a high where my dreams and goals feel possible, real, vivid, and inevitable. Generous energy that I’m grateful for and that I’m soaking in. Intuition and buts and pardon me taking a drink. Inspired by Iona Holloway’s Instagram post today! “Doing the work” and the point and healing and being you. The addiction of fixing. Coming home to yourself. Live it up.

Glass shard confusion. File cabinet in need of handles and an ode to either me or a delivery person. You’re not alone in anything that you feel and uncharted territory. Support yourself, I love you, take breaks, reach out, breathe, and do what you gotta do for you.

Indecision. Paralyzed, stuck, confused, and chaos. Choosing, layers, and recognizing the elements of fear. Huge brain monsters, system check, and the sensations of a yes and a no. Wisdom, certainty, freaking out, and which way the compass points.