Antiques Freaks

How do you measure a tape? Once upon a time we had to drag a chain across a field uphill both ways. But now with the modern convenience of a vintage or antique tape measure, we know precisely how long all our tapes are.

Due to a family emergency we are unable to post a regular episode this week. Instead, please enjoy this chapter from our Varney vaults, wherein an unexpected return plunges both characters and podcasters into hysterics.


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From practical tea-time necessity to collectible glassware plague upon the local antiques industry, cup plates have gone on an incredible journey throughout history. Stay tuned for the laughing sheep!

Dee has all the deets you could possibly want about bridal baskets just in time for wedding season. Ken has an actual real-life fever. Who will win? You, dear listener. Always you.

Once upon a time, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote something besides Sherlock Holmes. (Shocking, we know.) What if you went to medical school in the 1880s and also your dormitory neighbor had an ancient Egyptian mummy? Chris and Paris have joined the Antiques Freaks to answer this most daring question. CONTENT WARNING for Victorian racism and Orientalism.

Frankly, she’s Lisa. Iconic rainbow graphic design from the 80s, 90s, 00s, and beyond! It’s vintage Trapper Keepers, stickers, pens, pencils, cookie jars, backpacks, and so much more—featuring beloved characters like Markie the unicorn, Rainbow the horse, Hunter the leopard, and also the weird Y2K aliens that no one likes to look at but everyone wants to own. Which one is worth three hundred bucks? Tune in to find out!

When is the frame worth more than the picture within? Tune in for everything you’ve ever wanted to know about antique picture frames but were too afraid to ask!

A family emergency precluded this week’s regularly scheduled antiques. Instead, please enjoy this chapter from our Varney vaults, wherein leaving Flora alone at home with two guns was probably the best plan the Bannerworth brothers ever had.

Ice-bound. In the wind. Iron-sick. All these nautical terms and more defined in this chapter of the Sailor’s Word Book!

20th-century kitsch turned 21st-century trend! Just watch that mineral oil drip down that fishing line and boggle at the price tag.