Anxiety to Confidence - The Personal Development Unplugged Podcast

What If Life Doesn't Need to Go According to Plan?

How the hell did I get here?

It's a question I've been asking myself lately — and the more I think about it, the more I realise something rather interesting.

Some of the things that matter most in my life were never part of the plan.

Hypnosis certainly wasn't. Neither were some of the people I've met, opportunities I've stumbled across, friendships I could never have predicted, or the directions my life eventually took.

And yet, those unexpected moments often turned out to matter enormously.

So perhaps the answer isn't to stop planning. Planning can be bloody useful. It gives us direction, reassurance and something to work towards.

But what happens when we become so attached to the route that we stop noticing the possibilities appearing along the way?

In this deeper dive, I explore the difference between having a plan, choosing a direction, and remaining open to what life puts in front of us.

And I share one of the ways I'm working with this in my own North Star exploration — using my puzzle book to ask some deceptively simple questions about the life I've lived, what I'm grateful for, what really matters to me, and what direction might be worth exploring next.

Because maybe we don't always need the whole bloody map.

Maybe we need to know the direction… and remain curious enough to notice what appears.

Listen in, have a think, and see what your life might be trying to show you.

And please share your appreciation by sharing the episode: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/491-what-if-life-doesnt-need-to-go-according-to-plan

And if you want to watch me recording this episode https://youtu.be/BYNBv_KI5-w

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected].

Subscribe to the Podcast

Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You

For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks

Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me

Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms

Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Have you ever, ever, ever, ever thought when you look back at your life and ask this question, how the hell did I get here? How the hell did I get here? It's an interesting question, isn't it? I'll bet you have never asked it, but I'm asking it now.

How did I get here? Because you see, when you examine it, so much of what matters in life, I think, was never on the roadmap. So, if you like, say that again, if you're like me, you might just say to yourself, I know I had plans, I had trajectories, I knew where I thought I was going, and yet, some of the things that changed my life the most, I couldn't possibly have planned. They were so far over the horizon, there's no way I could see them.

You see, NLP wasn't supposed to lead me here. It was supposed to lead me into being a kick-ass business person. And I went to a particular guy who was going to train me and I spoke to him many times saying, I want to come and do NLP with you, proud of it, he was a brilliant man, fortunately he's up in the heavens now.

And he said, no, Paul, you can't, you have to learn hypnosis first. And hypnosis was not on my horizon. It's never, or was never on my horizon, I didn't even know what the bloody thing was.

But he said, you know, you've got to come and learn hypnosis first before you can do NLP. So I thought, oh bugger, I know he's such a good man, so I'm going to learn it. And the thing was, something bloody happened.

It was in about the first day, I had this realisation, what a dick I was, to think this was NLP and that was going to make me this kick-ass businessman. Because I was going to try to use it as hacks and, you know, all the tips and tricks and all that stuff you hear about manipulation. And what a lot of bollocks that was.

I had this realisation, this aha moment, I'm a dick. Let's just learn. Because there was so much more to learn.

And what happened? Tell you what happened, which was so far off the horizon. I learned hypnosis. I did learn NLP, I did do lots of business with it.

And then I carried on, but created hypnosis clinics, did trainings, taught people, helped people, did all sorts of stuff, which was never on my bloody horizon. Never planned. Then there was another time, another time in my life when I was doing some work and I got a phone call from a guy I sort of knew.

I'd worked with him before, but he was like in a different company and he worked for us and things like that. And he just phoned up one day and said, Hey, Paul, could you help me out? I've got this job and it's near where you live. Can you pop in on a Saturday morning, just for the next month or so and do some work for me? So I said, yeah, sure.

Why not? And that's what I did. That little invitation. And then he said to me one day, thanks for doing what you're doing, but do you know somebody who can come and help me full time? Because my business is growing and I need this type of help.

And I said, well, have you thought about asking me? And he said, would you do it? You wouldn't do it, would you? Because you do other things. You know, you've been a director. No.

Is that really you? I said, well, ask me. And he did. And I said, why not? Why not? Done everything else.

This is another path. And what did it lead to? 15 years of working somebody who we never had an argument with. We never had a formal agreement, but we never fell out.

We never did any crosswords, which is so weird. And he became a real friend. I never had friends at work.

I had colleagues. Yeah. But not real friend friends.

But he was a friend I could really turn to whenever I needed to. He was there. And so far beyond my horizon, all from, well, why not? Now, have a think about this.

Let's put the spotlight on you for the moment. Yeah. In a nice way.

In a nice way. I want you just to consider something. You may want to come back to it after as well, but just take time to consider how much of your life was actually planned? Not the obvious stuff, because obviously, I had plans in my business and things like that, because you have to have some plans.

But think about the people you've met. Think about the opportunities you've come across serendipitously, if I could say the word. The places you've lived, visited, the jobs you've had, the relationships and those happy accidents.

The things which were totally unexpected. Maybe it was a conversation. Just think for the moment, how many of those things that now matter enormously, if I could say the word, to you, were actually part of your original plan? Yeah.

I'm gonna bet not a lot. Yeah. So let's have a little think.

Don't think that planning is bad, by the way. We're not going to throw planning out with the bathwater, because that's a ridiculous thing to do. Because planning is effective when it's done properly, and it's successful.

All the things I did, having found these unexpected things and the why nots, I still had to plan for them to come to fruition. Because what does planning do? It gives us a little bit of certainty, because we've got an idea where we're going, what we're doing. It gives us a bit of control, doesn't it? Again, because we know the steps.

And that control gives us a little bit of reassurance. Maybe sometimes it fulfills your identity. This is where I'm going.

I don't like the identity bit, but this is why I think, I'm going to do this. That's a better identity. I can do this, because I've got control.

And plans give you something to measure against, doesn't it? Because if you haven't got a plan to measure against, you don't know how close you are to that goal. You don't know how far you've come. You don't know whether you have to move direction slightly.

And it also gives you that wonderful feeling that you know what you're doing. Now, sometimes we don't, but we feel it. And that's why abandoning or changing a plan can feel so uncomfortable, you see.

We're going to change and that takes away our uncertainty, or creates uncertainty rather. Can't get it right, Cluffy. We're maybe still in control, but the reassurance isn't there anymore.

And we're thinking, is this me? My measurements are gone. Maybe I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I get that funny belief.

And that's why I say, changing plans can be a little bit, feel funny. We're threatening that certainty that we were believing is that we knew the route. But the thing is, there's a richer point.

And it's like overplanning. Don't overplan. This is to me, it's a little bit like there's planning and there's direction.

And I want to look at this in three ways and just see which ones resonate with you. You see, we have a plan. This is where I'm going.

And this is how I'm going to get there. Okay. Seems reasonable, doesn't it? But then we have, and this is what I've been finding in my North Star work, finding new directions.

The direction, this is the sort of life that I want to move towards. Oh, that's different, isn't it? And then thirdly, the openness. I'm prepared to recognise something I couldn't have put on the map.

It's being open, being aware, intuitive. You see, my personal change work, I've called my North Star because things have changed in my life and I've got different opportunities and I want to fill them. I've got time for different opportunities.

I need to fill them with things. I thought I had to have a plan. But now what really matters to me and what I found out by sitting down thinking about the different ways and things I could do, what matters to me is that I'll recognise the right direction when I encounter it.

That's the thing, being aware, not being tunnel vision, because that tunnel vision, you don't see anything other than in there. And yes, you have to be focused. But first of all, you have to be open.

And that's why I get that why not moment. That's what it is. Why not? You see, when Mike approached me initially, and he thought it, and I did think it myself, that's not my trajectory.

That's not on my plan. I was looking for other things. And I said, why don't you ask me? Why not? You see, here's the thing, you don't say yes to everything.

And that's the thing. We're not going to go, oh, well, I just say yes, yes, yes. Because the lesson isn't to say yes to everything.

Because that's bloody rubbish, isn't it? When something unexpected appears, don't automatically reject it, though. Because it simply wasn't on your plan. Consider it.

Just consider it. You see, I think the consideration should be, and what I'm going to say is, it's that magical pause, that time where we just say, whoa, stop. Let me think about this for the moment.

Where do you think about it? I'm going to tell you, I use the puzzle book. What's a puzzle book? I've told you so many times, I'll tell you again. A puzzle book is just a book with plain paper.

It can be lined, it can be dotted, it can be anything you bloody like, but it's a paper. But it gives you something to write down and to think, to ask questions and answer those questions. You have to answer them too.

Asking those questions, well, why not? What if? And I think when you ask that question, why not? There may be a time that you're going to reject it, but there's other times where you look at it and go, yeah, why not? And that's where the magic happens. See, that's very different from blindly following opportunities. Because some opportunities are just a cliff waiting to fall off, or a waterfall.

You know, you're in the river, you go, oh, I'm with the flow. Yeah, over the waterfall. You're not steering.

But that steering is being open, open to opportunities that come your way. You see, you'll remember that we've already talked about intuition, and your unconscious mind. We've explored that.

So go back through some past episodes, but really listening to yourself. We've also explained, or dive deeply into, oh, what's that feeling underneath that feeling? Because sometimes we get a feeling, and then we go, oh, what's under there? That one I think is called what your unconscious mind is trying to tell you, which is a bit like listening to yourself. We've talked about that too.

But you see, all those things seem to make sense to me. They're all part of finding the right direction. You see, now I'm asking this.

If the future, your future, my future, can't be completely planned, perhaps, perhaps, perhaps, we need to become better at recognising what's worth exploring when it appears. And that's where your intuition, your feelings, your values, and those little nudges become so relevant. And you see, let's go a little bit deeper.

And this is where I use, really use that, that puzzle book. So what I'd like you to do, if you want to, I'd like you to, maybe if it's okay, to close your eyes. So if there's, if you don't need anything, and you're in a place where you're going to be safe, you're not going to do anything, and it's okay, you can always come back to this, or you can do it with open eyes, but you can do this once to listen to, and then once with a piece of paper, your puzzle book.

Maybe you want to write them down, I don't know. But the first question I want you to ask, if you just close your eyes for a moment and consider this, just consider it. How the hell did I get here? That's all.

How the hell did I get here? Then consider this. What happened in my life that I never planned, but I'm so incredibly grateful that it happened? I've explained a few of mine. So don't rush this, just go over your past, those wonderful things that happened that you never planned.

And when you think about it now, you go, oh man, that was so good. Maybe they're the people you met, the opportunities. And then consider what did those unexpected opportunities, those experiences teach me about what really matters to me? Yeah, the important things, your values.

See with Mike, yeah, it was a great opportunity, but the biggest thing I had was trust and support, and how he just was there for me all the time, like a rock. And finally, just think, if you don't need, now I'm going to change my mind, I've got another question. Where in my life am I trying to control the route or route rather than choose the direction? Think about that, that's a weird one.

Where in my life am I trying to control the route or route rather than choose the direction? See, that's what I had. Thinking of my start, my North Star, I had to have a route, a direct, but now I'm into directions. And finally, this is the final one.

If I didn't and don't need to know the destination yet, what is the next direction worth exploring? Wow, think about that. And you see, I got all the lovely questions, and we'll go over those questions again very, very briefly. If you want to, oh, by the way, you can open your eyes.

I nearly forgot. But the questions would be, let me just repeat those questions. So if you wanted to do it with a puzzle book and writing, just think of these questions, write them down.

How the hell did I get here? Write this one down. What happened in my life that I never planned, but I'm incredibly grateful it happened? The third question, what did those unexpected experiences teach me about what really matters to me? The values. The fourth question, what in my life am I trying to control the route, rather than choose the direction? And then that important one, the final question, if I don't need to know the destination yet, what is the next direction worth exploring? Write those down in a puzzle book and just think about them.

You see, I'm doing this myself now. So this is just not something I'm coming up with. No, this is the working model for my North Star.

This is what I do for myself, because I'm still figuring this bugger out. See, I've been searching my North Star, which is just, I realise it's just a direction. It's not things.

I thought I was going to have to put things in to all the things I want to do, fill up my time. But now I'm finding direction of things. You see, I've questioned my goals.

I've questioned my bloody identity in this. I've explored everything in my intuition. I've even looked at, if you remember, freedom or structure.

And they're interlinked, aren't they? And I explored those, what happens when uncomfortable feelings come, because when you ask these type of questions, you do get emotions. And that's when you look beneath the surface to find out what's happening. What is the message? Because your unconscious mind is giving you something, giving you a question, giving you an answer, giving you places to explore.

Direction in thinking, as it were. You see, what I'm asking is, what if I don't even need a bloody map, because I'm open to a direction? I don't know where I'm going, but I just know I'm aware of opportunities. And you see, when you get back to that is you can actually look at your life and go, well, how the hell did I get here? There was great things that happened, but the important things that happened were probably not even on the map.

See, I did get here by making some plans, obviously. But I also got here because life did things I couldn't have planned. Yeah, life did things I couldn't have planned.

People appeared in my life, wonderful people, unplanned. Opportunities came along. And with those, I made choices.

And I changed, I changed direction sometimes. I simply said, hey, why not? And I want you to think of those same things, to be open to the direction you're giving your life. You see, maybe I don't really need to know exactly where I'm going next.

Or maybe you don't have to know exactly where you're going next. Maybe I need to recognise the direction I'm willing to explore. Or maybe you need to recognise the direction you're willing to explore.

I hope with every little bit of me, that this has got those little cogs moving in your mind. Because I want you to make a difference to your life. I don't want you to be stuck in a rut.

I want you to be open. And when those opportunities come, you bloody seize them. Because you might not know exactly where it's going.

But you've now got the direction, you've now got the value, the importance of it. And then you plan a little bit, you make choices. I'm not throwing away planning.

But we need to be open and aware. And I think this is so important. I'd love you to share this with anybody and everybody.

Because it's things to think about. There's no answers in any of this. This is just a sharing of my experiences of how we can look to make our life so bloody rich, being open.

And then making wise choices. Because it's ultimately your choice. And I know you'll choose wisely.

So please share this episode with anybody and everybody. Give me your email address, I want to share something to you. Give me your WhatsApp, put it on a group, anything you can.

Because this is so important to get people to live their own life, follow their own direction, their path. Maybe they're Northstar, maybe they're changing directions, and they need some support. And these questions will help.

So if you do that, press subscribe, if you would, follow button, because there's loads of different stuff coming up now. I'm even going to bring in something called tools in transformation, little snippets of things that actually work. But I'll explain that on a separate episode.

They're just going to come out, popping in and out. There's not going to be a timetable for them. So you need to follow, you need to subscribe.

So they get them, and they're always there for you, because they're going to be invaluable. But most importantly, when you think about that, and you sit down with your puzzle book, and you go through it, have fun. Play.

Because when you have that curious, playful mentality, that emotion of curiosity, you can be amazed what you find, and then follow your heart. Wisely, a little bit of planning, but look for the direction first. Have more fun than you can stand, in every way, shape or being.

And maybe you'll be surprised, because you start feeling happy for no reason. More and more and more and more. So until the next time, my friend, go fly.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

How the Hell Did I Get Here? When Life Takes You Somewhere You Never Planned

Have you ever looked at your life and thought…

"How the hell did I get here?"

I have.

Twenty-six years ago I thought I knew exactly where I was going. I wanted NLP to help me become a kick-ass business person.

Instead, I discovered hypnosis.

And that completely changed the direction of my life.

Then, years later, a phone call from a friend led me into another part of my career that I'd never planned, never expected and initially didn't even want.

It became one of the best things that ever happened to me.

And that's what got me wondering:

Why do we think the rest of our lives has to be planned?

Maybe life isn't always about following the plan.

Maybe it's about having a direction… and being open enough to notice what appears along the way.

This FMQ is the seed for the deeper dive:

"What If Your Life Doesn't Need to Go According to Plan?"

So, before you rush off to plan the next five years of your life, have a think about one question:

How the hell did you get here?

And what unexpected turns might have taught you something you couldn't have learned any other way?

In this FMQ

• Why your life may take unexpected turns
• What unexpected opportunities can teach us
• The difference between having a plan and having a direction
• Why being open to change can create possibilities
• How life experiences can change your sense of purpose
• A question that might make you look at your own journey differently

Your puzzle-book question

How the hell did I get here?

And then:

What happened in my life that I never planned, but I'm bloody glad happened?

Listen to the deeper dive

What If Your Life Doesn't Need to Go According to Plan?

Because sometimes the most interesting parts of life are the bits we never put on the bloody plan.

If this episode resonates, subscribe or follow Personal Development Unplugged, and please share it with someone who might need the question too.

It's time to fly, my friend. Have more fun than you can stand.

Please share what you learn:

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-542-how-the-hell-did-i-get-here-when-life-takes-you-somewhere-you-never-planned

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected].

Subscribe to the Podcast

Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You

For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks

Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me

Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms

Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Welcome my friend to the seed a five minute quickie, the seed of thought. Well, my thoughts anyway. And the thought this time is how the hell did I get here? You see, about 26 years ago, I heard about this thing called NLP.

And I thought it was going to be kick ass, kick ass. In my business life, it's gonna, it was gonna just shoot my career, I'd be able to manipulate people and all that stuff. And so 26 years ago, or maybe more actually that 26 and a half years ago, I want to went and did a training with a guy called Wilf Proudfoot, unfortunately, he's left this world.

But what a wonderful man he was. And he was so wonderful. He said, I'm not teaching you now people, you got to learn hypnosis.

Oh, really? But I wanted to be this kick ass business person is going to change everything for myself. All in my business. I got it planned.

And I started that course. Bloody hypnosis. What the hell is all this about? What's that got to do with, you know, progressing my career? How's it going to change my life? I don't know.

And I listened to what he was saying. And a few things started to, you know, the cogs started to, to move in a different way in my mind. And then there was an aha moment about, I think it was about just coming into the second day.

I was thinking about this. I was wanting to learn how to be this kick ass business person with all these wonderful tricks and tools and, you know, mind hacks, which I hate the fucking word mind hack. But as another discussion.

But something happened. It was if right then there was an aha moment. And that aha moment was what a bloody dick you are, Cluffy.

What a dick. It's not about you having mind hacks. It's not about you having all the tricks and things.

It's about changing who you were, and who I am, and seeing life differently. And I didn't jump, I didn't jump ship or do anything like that. But learning that hypnosis, and then an NLP with this different frame of mind, changed my life.

It was never on the horizon. But the effect was unreal. It did help kickstart my career.

But not in the way I thought about being manipulative and things like that. But being, you know, serving people, helping people in business, which is unheard of. You know, people used to try to do nasty things to each other, try to get the one up, you know, always be the better, try to, you know, cheat a little bit, I guess.

But just being kind and using these tools in a different way, changed my career. But it also added so many different things, because I'm here, aren't I? I've set up hypnosis clinics. I've become a trainer of NLP.

I train people to deal with trauma, become hypnotherapists. And I also got, and I'm still am, working with my two of my three sons. That's awesome.

Changed my life completely. But it was never on the horizon. Then there was another time, I remember this other time.

I was doing this, I was in my career, doing the stuff, that was okay. I'd had a few changes, and this is one I had to grasp. And then out of the blue, I got a phone call.

A phone call from a guy called Mark. I knew him, I knew him. And he said, Paul, I wondered if you can come and help me for a little while.

Just do a little bit of work at the weekend for me. Maybe just turn up on a Saturday and do this little job for me. I don't know, maybe four weeks, that's all.

And I thought, yeah, why not? Why not? It's different. Could do with a little bit of cash. And then it started to change a little bit.

So I talked to the guys around this new area. And it was a completely different area of the industry that I was in. It was part of something that I never, ever, ever thought I would ever be part of.

Didn't want to be part of it. It didn't seem right. Not in the way in my projectory, as it were, my plan projectory.

Cluffy's got a plan. And then out of the blue, again, Mark just said to me, do you know if, do you know anybody who would come and help me on a more permanent basis? And I looked at him and said, well, why are you asking me that? It just came out of my mouth. Why don't you ask me? And he said, well, you wouldn't do this, would you? Because it's, I know the type of work you've been doing.

And this is completely, completely off target, off track or whatever. He said, so I didn't want to ask you, but would you? And after a little bit of thinking, a little bit of chatting with the people involved in my life, I then thought, but why not? Why not? I've done everything else in this, this bloody industry. Why not take this little leap? Because I know this guy.

And he seemed, you know, I even checked his values, which is really weird, but his values were exactly the same as mine. And what happened? It led to 15 years of the second greatest job I've ever had. The first one is that training and working with, with people in therapy and things like that.

But it was the second greatest job I ever had. But it also did something else for me. It gave me a friendship.

And I never really had friendships at work. You have friendships, you know, but they're colleagues. But Mike was a friend, a true friend.

He supported me. If I was any, I had a few little wobbles occasionally, as we all do. And he was there for me.

Again, completely out of the blue. And you see, what I'm trying to say is, and this is where we're going to go on the deeper dive. This has been part of my personal work over the last few months, maybe longer, but I think it's over the last few months.

And I've come out with this question. Why do we think or why did I think the rest of our lives, my life has to be planned? And that rocked me. I'm going to repeat that one.

Why do we think, we, you and I think the rest of our lives has to be planned? Yeah, let that sink in for a moment. Because that's where I'm going on the deeper dive, discovering, finding direction. And I think you'll find it really interesting because it's changed my life.

And I think you'll get some golden nuggets from it, which will get you thinking. And you may even out of the blue, but you know, that's all there is. Do press that subscribe button, follow button, because I think this is going to be something really interesting to you.

You've probably pressed it already, haven't you? And you've probably shared this podcast with everyone you know, haven't you? No, I know you don't. If you would, just share it with one person because they might resonate with my story, and then resonate with what else is to follow. So I want to see you, see you on the next deeper dive.

How the hell did I get here? What a question, eh? Maybe in between now and then, you could think of that question too. How the hell did you get there? We're right where you are right now. Anyway, it's time to fly my friend, have more fun than you can stand.

And I'll see you next time. Ta-ra. So on this sea, this FMQC to a longer discovery, longer podcast.

It's all about things that just happen in your life, that change. You know, it's the things that happen that teaches things that we would never, ever know. So it's called How the hell did I get here? Come with me and find out.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

What Your Unconscious Mind Is Trying To Tell You

Ever had that strange "ooh… I don't like that" feeling when nothing obvious seems to be wrong?

I've been getting it more often while exploring questions about my life, my direction and my North Star. At first, it's tempting to push an uncomfortable feeling away, but what if that feeling is actually unconscious communication?

In this deeper dive, we explore how the unconscious mind communicates through feelings, intuition, memories and emotional signals, and how becoming curious about an uncomfortable feeling can reveal what's underneath it.

Rather than fighting anxiety, uncertainty or emotional resistance, I'm exploring a different approach: pause, listen, get curious, discover what you need, then choose your next step.

There's also a simple process you can use to explore an uncomfortable feeling, discover what it may be trying to tell you, and decide whether you need to act—or simply give things time to settle.

This is another part of my own journey of personal development, finding direction, trusting yourself and creating a more meaningful life. I'm learning as I go, and sharing the bloody journey with you.

Don't suppress the signal. Get curious about it.

Please share this episode: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/490-what-your-unconscious-mind-is-trying-to-tell-you

If something in the episode stirs a question or challenge for you, email me at [email protected]. I read the emails personally.

And if you're curious to see me recording this https://youtu.be/QqsuPtTs7OI

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected].

Subscribe to the Podcast

Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You

For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks

Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me

Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms

Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

#490 What Your unconscious Mind Is Trying To Tell You

Welcome to this deeper dive. Hope you're well. Hope you're feeling good because I've got a a little question.

This has been happening to me a little bit more often than late and I thought it'd be a good time to to share because I'm sure you'd experience this type of thing too. It's that, you know, that feeling. What feeling is that Cloughie? Oh, nothing's really happened happened.

You know, you're not having a panic attack and you're not running all headless chicken type thing. Nothing's exploded. Nothing's gone.

You know, it's just, oh, oh, I don't like that feeling. Oh, I don't know. It's just happened.

It just comes along. See if you can resonate with this because this is where I tend to find I get these feelings come along out of the blue. It's, I find it when I'm writing my puzzle book, you know, asking a question.

And as I write the question down, I get that feeling. I just get that feeling. Or maybe it's, I don't know, making a decision.

I've got to make a decision about something. And while I'm thinking about it, it could be, I've known this to happen, that someone says something and it's not what they say, not the actual words as such, but it's maybe their tone. You know, the way they've said it.

You even get a look, don't you? Well, do you? I do. If someone looks at me in a particular way and I go, oh, I get that funny feeling. And it's like that word has maybe triggered something.

That look has triggered something. It's from the past. It's been anchored in the past.

And ah, I don't like it. They're like secret triggers because you don't know what's happening or what it is, but you know what's happening. Let's get it right.

You can even get it when you're driving past place or walking past. You're walking along and it's like your unconscious mind catches something in peripheral vision. I say that again, peripheral vision.

And you go, oh, it's like something is associated to something. But consciously, you're not quite sure what it is because you don't notice it because you notice the feeling first. You know, you can be thinking about something, just minding your own business, remembering something, and you get a feeling.

And this is where I've had it of late. And this is where it's all really come from is when you're considering a new direction and that feeling comes along and you don't know, is it something really bad? Or what is it? Because it's not, it's just an uncomfortable feeling. Have you had that? For me, it's normally just in the real pit of my stomach and it's just there.

Yeah. So have you had something like that? One or all of them? And what do we normally do? When you notice that feeling, what do we do? We go, oh, please make it stop. I don't like it.

I want to push it away. Remember I was saying, you know, you push it away, you push it down, trap it in a little box somewhere, hide it. It doesn't work that, does it? Because it tends to come back, doesn't it? Tends to come back a little bit and you go, oh, okay.

Maybe a little bit stronger. What would happen? Think about it. If we had a different response, what different response could we have? I'll tell you.

Let's just get bloody curious about the thing. Let's get interested in it. You see, it's not about this feeling not being right.

And it's not about this feeling must be, it's wrong. It's just, but what if I thought this? Interesting. Interesting.

Something's happened inside me. I wonder what I can learn from it. Wow.

All of a sudden, as soon as you say that, what can I learn from it? It's as if that feeling changes a little bit too. It's a bit like, oh, they're listening to me. And you see the meaning that you're attaching to that feeling, that negative, you think it's negative and that's why you're pushing it away.

But it may not be that. It may not be that at all. Because that's the meaning that you've consciously put on it.

And it's an unconscious signal. Yeah. Do you want to play? Do you want to play with me? Come on.

All you got to do is take a bit of time, take a bit of time out and play. It's not deep, but you're thinking about and remembering. So I want you to remember something.

I want you to remember a time when you did have a feeling like that. Not a mega, mega, mega one. No.

Ten was the worst. Zero. It doesn't exist.

A four out of ten, even a three out of ten. Something that you can remember it by. It's rememberable, if that's a word.

But it's not mega. Because I want you to, just for a moment, if it's okay, let's just be by ourselves. Because I want you to explore it.

Let's get curious. Let's get that thing interesting. Oh, what can I learn from this? But before we go into that bit, let's just notice, noticing it.

So where do you notice? Remember, bring that memory to mind now, where you felt it. Not what was going on, just the feeling. Recall that feeling.

Where do you notice it? Not externally, internally. Where do you notice it? As I said about minds, normally they're just a pit in my stomach. And as you remember that, just remember it.

If you could, and you can, put all your attention right there. That's it. All your attention right there.

What do you know? And now we can just notice all sorts of things. Does it have a size? What size is it? If it did have a size, what size would it be? Because it's there. Is it tiny, tiny, tiny? Maybe it's a tennis ball shape, or size, I don't know.

And the shape, is it round? Maybe when you think about it, and you really get into it, it's a bit more, it's not really round, it's more oval. Or maybe it's a bit more square. And when you really get into it, really get curious about it, does it move a little bit? Because sometimes you go, oh, it's actually just vibrating slightly.

That's how I noticed it. Yeah. What about its temperature? Is it warm? Is it cold? Does it have a temperature? Curious, isn't it? And get even more curious now.

Is there a pressure to it? Whatever that means, do you use it pushing, pulling? Is there a pressure? If you could know, and you could feel the edges of that, that feeling, would it have a texture? Does it have a texture? I've known feelings to have a slight direction. And when you really get into it, there's always an intensity, isn't there? Doesn't have to be mega, as I said, but there is, oh yeah, I can feel it now. I can feel it.

It has been moving. It's even got a colour now. Oh yeah.

And you see, you are now owning this as well, because you're describing it to yourself. And when you describe these things by putting your attention to it, you become sort of associated, dissociated, as you teach yourself with curiosity. You see, we're just simply acknowledging it.

What happens when you simply, I love the word simply, simply allow yourself to notice it without needing to change it? Because we're not changing it. There are processes that do change these things, but we're not. We're simply acknowledging it.

And that's a powerful thing. That's the powerful thing. Just acknowledging and noticing can make all the difference.

It's you and your best friend getting together. So that curiosity is the key. And you're teaching yourself to listen with curiosity, to look with curiosity.

No more resistance. No more pushing. No more trying to bury these things.

We go, oh yeah, interesting. What can I learn? You see, because you're owning it, you're becoming one with it. And that's it.

Just be with. Being with. And that's all I want you to do.

Just notice. Just sit there. Notice the form.

Notice the shape. Because there's even more to come now. You see, you could ask it a question.

What are you trying to teach me? But we'll go into that shortly. Or maybe did that come up? Okay. So take a deep breath.

Because I want to change it now. Change our direction of curiosity. You see, and you can do this in the future.

When that feeling comes along, you can be observant. What am I reacting to right now? Oh, it is that voice. It is that look.

It is this place. It is that question I've just asked in my puzzle book. Ah, but what's below the surface? You see, now from curiosity, we are diving into discovery.

And when you get things like the questions in your puzzle book, you can even think, what might I need? What is this feeling giving me that I might need something, need something more before I make a decision? What is this question bringing out in me? You see, we've been looking at maybe a trigger, what am I reacting to? But now we're looking to a response. What might you need? And that makes it so much different. So much.

And then when you've got that feeling, that sense that you know the answer, you can ask yourself, do I need to act on this information right now? And there's two answers to that question. Could be no. Sometimes I get that feeling, I got an idea where it's going, what I need to explore.

But I've also had the feeling, no, let's just chill for a moment. Let's, well, let's let everything settle, settle in, settle down and let things integrate a little. And I found I've had answers then bubble up a little bit later.

Or it could be yes, you're going to move. You know, the epiphany is already here, the aha moment. But if it's going to settle, maybe that epiphany, that aha comes with a little bit of clarity after.

Because you're not just reacting, reacting, you are asking a question, do I need to act now? Do I need to explore this information a bit deeper? Let it go. And think about that to see what you think. You see, think about this.

In the past, if you've come with me on my, my little adventure of discovery, we've talked about intuition, and we've also talked about intuition versus overthinking, haven't we? And to me, sometimes that intuition, overthinking comes, well not overthinking, but thinking comes together. And it's a little bit like, if I could hear that little voice inside, it's saying something like, hey, Cloughie, hey, go this way. Think about this.

You forgot to think about this part. Just maybe take a different direction, because you slightly off direction, because there's just something you're getting from this, simply a bloody, it's a weird, uncomfortable feeling. You know, it's not about looking for them.

We're not worshipping, looking for every different feeling. No, no, no. When it comes along, all I'm saying is, don't suppress it, don't push it down, but get curiously, curious, curiously investigated.

Notice it, notice its qualities. Because when you notice the qualities, again, I think it helps you to ask those questions. And it helps you to get the answers from those questions.

It's really strange. Just to share a little bit of personal things. And I love, this is the direction the podcast has gone a little bit, from my personal change work.

I know we're all doing it when we're in this adventure of life, and you're in personal development, you want to make the best of the life you have here. That little bit of, can I improve just a little bit each day? You know, would the person I was, maybe a year ago, be proud of what I'm doing now? You can then think, well, here's my take on it. I've been doing a lot of asking questions.

I've been asking a lot of questions. There's a better way to put it, Clovey. I've been asking things like, where the hell am I going? Things are changing in my life.

So where am I going? Because sometimes we don't ask that question. We just get confused. We just move.

We take random steps and actions, and then wonder what the bloody hell we've done. And when you do ask that question, you don't always get an answer. Oh, well, Clovey, here we go.

What you've done is this, and what you should be doing is that. No. But by asking that question, you're getting to know the things that you know, but you don't know that you know.

That's weird, isn't it? But we want to get inside and get our unconscious mind, our best friend, to start sharing that extra knowledge. Even asking, what the bloody hell do I want? I've been asking that over the last few months now. What do I really want? I've got all these things, but do I really want them? What is my value on this? Why is it important? Is it important? Is it just something I've thought about, that I thought was good to do? And when I think about that thing, I get that weird feeling.

Then I go inside it. What's triggering this? What do I need to know? What's happening? And I get a sense of the right direction for me at this time. You know, if you go back either the last, longer, deeper dive, the one before that, who the bloody hell am I? Who do I think I am? You know, you get that question, and we've had this.

Just that, I think this was the last one, probably. You know, what would happen? And what would somebody who's already done this before do now? Those type of things stir up this feeling. And the feeling is just saying, it's just another way of telling you, maybe.

Don't look into it as gospel, but I just think more times than enough, it's your unconscious mind trying to communicate with you, but not in the way that you recognise. But now you're going to ask the question, what's happening inside me when I start moving in this new direction? Because sometimes it could be your unconscious mind saying, yeah, but just wait a moment. You see, what I found was, and this is a weird thing, when I asked questions like, what do I want? Where am I going? It didn't produce a massive excitement.

In fact, these things, for me, it was, I got angry for a reason. And as I looked at that feeling, just below that anger, I experienced a feeling of sadness, and then grief. I know they're very close, but there's a difference.

And as I felt those feelings, just as we've got here, I explored those feelings with curiosity. I got some understanding, understanding from what had happened to me in the past, some of my actions and reactions of the past, owning it, taking responsibility for things that I hadn't really taken responsibility for. And now I was able to move on.

But it could feel like a resistance. You know, that anger, sadness and grief could have stopped me in my tracks. You know, I'm not asking this question anymore.

I'm not going in the right direction. But no, I just sat there. Oh, I understand.

I've got to acknowledge something from the past so I can learn from it, clear away. Because once you clear away the emotion, the negative emotion around events of the past, you get the learning from it. And when you've learned from the past, those feelings disappear anyway.

So you might might think we call it resistance, such as grief, fear, uncertainty. I had a lot of that. So the old memories coming back, I don't know, you know, conflict of identities, who the bloody hell I used to think I was this.

And now I don't know who I am. That makes a feeling in there. And sometimes it was just way Cloughie.

Just stop for a second. Just stop for a second. All right, when I did stop, I let things and I know the word is not mature.

But it was like, they just settled inside me. And I used to go to my back to my puzzle book, because things didn't solve themselves immediately. But because I was exploring with curiosity, I'd write them down, maybe write those questions down.

And then over time, and it wasn't a long time, because I had the intention of changing. I had the intention of finding that direction. I just had to settle down and learn a little bit.

You see, you could, you could do the same type of thing. Those questions in my mind tend to come quite naturally now, because I've been practicing for quite a few years now. But you could have a list.

I used to have a little list of questions at the front of my my puzzle book that I could refer back to if I was lost in the feelings of things. And I was getting a little bit, I don't know what to do, I'd go to the front of my puzzle book, and look at my list of questions, go, that's a great question. One would jump out at me and go, that's a question.

I'd write it down as I got that feeling, and then answers would come along. So what type of questions could you put down? Have a think. Because I don't want to say puzzle book, you know, you know, I'm talking about a book with blank pages.

But it could be just a lot of sheets of paper, but they do tend to get lost. Could be a journal, could be one of those little field books, could be anything whatsoever that you write down so you get it out your brain, and you can come back to it at a later date. Even if it's in the afternoon, or in the following morning or evening, it just allows it to settle inside and then come back to you with a bit more clarity.

So what might they be to get your unconscious mind working? Because you know, you have a question, your unconscious mind seems to go away and find the answers. Especially, I used to have a real problem one time, I used to ask questions and just think, my unconscious mind is going to come back with the answers. But I was bloody lazy.

My unconscious mind thought, I think anyway, this is what I think it thought, was, well, if you can't be bothered to set your intention, Cloughie, and really, you know, you have to do a little thinking yourself, have to get curious, have to come with me, then I'm not going to answer the question. But once you set your intention, I really want to know, I'm curious, as if your unconscious mind goes, in that case, come back in a little while, and we'll find out. So what type of questions could you write down, ready to play, to get curious? You know, we had those questions from the beginning, right? You know, what was happening at the time? What just happened? What was that feeling? Can you describe it? Put your attention? Maybe what was I thinking just immediately before? Because sometimes, you notice the feeling, and you've forgotten what just happened.

So, you know, what triggered? What was going on? What triggered that feeling? Because sometimes you go, oh, and as you get into that trigger, you go, I remember that thing of the past. And it's like your unconscious mind is saying, just don't do the same thing again. Let's learn from it.

Lovely question could be, you know, what are you protecting me from? What is it you're protecting me from? What are you trying, how are you trying to keep me safe? Because sometimes your unconscious mind tries to keep you safe by giving you negative feelings. But if you go, well, maybe there's a better way, a better way to keep me safe. Maybe I could be aware, just noticing things, calm.

Maybe you could just ask, you know, what do I need right now? That's a great one. Because sometimes it's, you think, oh, what do I need? I need more information. No, sometimes you just need to step back.

Sometimes you need to take a breath. Sometimes you need to just go and ask somebody. I've had that before.

What do I need? Well, that question, who's done this before? What would they do? And you think, oh, I know who to ask. I've even done it before in our head. Think of that person, ask them that question in your mind and notice what they tell you.

All the stuff we've been doing here, you know, going into hypnosis, maybe we've got 65 free hypnosis tracks for you at paulclough.com forward slash podcast. Go there, get a little email from me, click on the link and you've got your access to all of that. And they're all downloadable.

It's great, great resource. So just take a little bit of time, allow your unconscious mind to do its work for you, work for you, with you. Yeah.

And you see, we're not forcing an answer. We're working with, and that's what it's all about, isn't it? Working with our unconscious mind, with our thoughts, looking for new directions, maybe looking for new ways to just enjoy life. Maybe we have a project and you get that funny feeling.

Okay, what do I need to do? Maybe do I need to stop? Where is this taking me? Is this in the right direction? All these things are some great questions. You can just play around with them. And you see, it's all about not asking for this feeling to go away.

It's just there for a reason. And when you get curious, curious about these things, and you learn a little bit from it, guess what happens? It bloody disappears anyway, because you've got the learnings. It's done what it's meant to do.

It's given you that little insight. You just got it. It's just the way it communicates.

It's not the way that we would communicate ourselves. You see, I don't know. Let's just think of everything that we're doing now.

The direction we're looking for. For me anyway, it's like looking for a new direction. But it's going to come along.

There's new ways. I can remember now when I go back to when I always had little new direction changes. As new opportunities came, they were a direction change.

But it's like taking me back online. And we go back to that thing and you get that feeling. Maybe it's just time to pause, listen, but listen with all your senses.

What's that mean? Going inside sometimes. Look, the senses are sight, smell, taste. What words are you hearing? Auditory.

And those feelings. So just listen. Listen to the message you're getting in, because it comes in all different modalities.

Maybe it's a memory as well. And then explore what you get. And when you've got what you feel is right, then you can decide to move on, move in a direction, stay still, do what, because it's your choice.

And the one thing about this is when you do it this way, you can, well you can choose wisely, because it's your choice. Whereas before you'd have just reacted. Now you're choosing the right path.

Not the one over there, but the right. You're making the right steps. Sometimes just pausing is the best thing you can ever do.

And then what I'd love you to do as you do this, fucking celebrate. We never celebrate enough. You know, being alive should be a celebration.

How lucky am I to be alive right now, to have this opportunity to make a choice. That's what I'm thinking. You see, if you get stuck, just remember, you don't know that you know, but you just don't know that you know.

And as you take this time to pause, to listen, to explore, to decide, everything will become clear. Because your unconscious mind is trying to tell you, it's just doing it in a weird way. And it's great to be weird.

Be as weird as you can, unique as you can, and live the life that you were destined to live. And sometimes we just go off, go off kilter, go off direction a little bit. And as we listen and choose wisely, we get to have that wonderful life.

Enjoy my friend. If there's anything that you need, anything that has stirred up a little bit maybe, and you need a bit of help with that listening, send me an email, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and I'll answer it personally. And also, I'm sure it would be part of a new episode.

Because other people I know will have that similar feeling. So be brave. Ask the question of you and of me.

And always, always two things. Subscribe and follow so you get every new episode. Don't miss out on one.

And share. If you share this, it just helps in numerous ways. Obviously, by sharing more people listening, it makes this podcast more popular.

And when it becomes more popular, the old algorithms then start pushing it out to other people too. And then that gets more popular. And more people get to, they get to listen for a change.

They sit down for a change. Change is always possible. And the thing is, when you do that, it's like paying it forward.

I heard a lovely thing about when, if you think about, as you give things out, the ripples go out. And you never know how far and wide those ripples go, but they do. But when they hit, they come back.

Think about it. It actually happens. Those ripples go out, they maybe hit somebody, and then they come back to you.

And they come back to you in a better way. A wonderful way. And that's the thing.

You know, doing things selfless service for no want of reward, but you do get it. You do get rewards. But what shape or form they come, only you will know.

Have fun. Go have a wonderful life. And have more fun than you can stand.

Enjoy every, I'll see you later.

Transcribed by TurboScribe.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

Why That Uncomfortable Feeling Might Be Trying To Tell You Something

Ever had that strange "oof… something doesn't feel right" feeling? Not necessarily panic or major anxiety, just an uncomfortable feeling that seems to arrive from nowhere.

I've been noticing more of these feelings while sitting with my puzzle book, asking questions and exploring my own search for a new direction. And I've started wondering whether these feelings are actually signals from the unconscious mind, rather than something we should simply push away.

The usual response is to ignore it, distract ourselves or try to make the feeling disappear. But what if there's something useful underneath it? What if that uncomfortable feeling is trying to tell us something?

In this FMQ, I explore unconscious communication, anxiety, emotional signals, intuition, decision making and personal change, and sow the seed for a deeper look at how we can work with these feelings rather than fighting them.

The longer episode will take this further and explore how we might understand what our unconscious mind is really trying to communicate.

And, as always, this is part of my own ongoing exploration of finding my direction and creating a more meaningful life. I'm sharing what I discover as I go, because maybe what I'm learning can help you with your own journey.

Don't push. Pause. Listen.

If this resonates, subscribe or follow the podcast so you don't miss the deeper dive.

And as usual, share it to another https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq541-why-that-uncomfortable-feeling-might-be-trying-to-tell-you-something

If you want to see me recording this https://youtu.be/CMxwK9U1OEQ

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected].

Subscribe to the Podcast

Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You

For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks

Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me

Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms

Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Hey, have you ever had an oof? That's not a nice feeling.

Had that? I really wanted to share something with you because I know it means a lot to me about this particular bit because I've talked a lot about puzzle books. And you know how much I love my puzzle books. The sitting down, the thinking, the asking myself questions.

And I've been spending a lot of time asking questions. And what I do, sometimes it can show that type of feeling. Or that feeling can suddenly come from apparently nowhere, being triggered.

You know, it's not the most horrible, horrible, horrible feeling. It's not like panic and things like that. It might be, but we'll talk about that.

But it's just a, ooh, that's just a weird feeling. You know, for me, it's generally in my gut area. And it just feels off, as if I've been knocked off balance a little bit.

As if to say, oi, Cloughie, I get that when I'm journaling too. Do you? If you journal, that is. You start journaling and you're right in a way.

And then some bit of inspiration comes, maybe. Or you're thinking about doing something and you're explaining it to yourself. And then, without warning, that triggers this weird feeling.

It's a negative feeling. It's just not nice. And in fact, when you think about it, when I thought about this, that's why I wanted to share it, is in fact, virtually anything could trigger off these type of things.

I notice those more often because I'm by myself. I'm, you know, sitting with my puzzle book by myself, considering stuff, asking questions, or journaling by myself. But in fact, if you think about it, music, that tune, that song, can just trigger a weird feeling.

Maybe it's the look of someone's face. It's the way they look at you, not the look of someone's face. The way they look at you could just trigger off a feeling.

Maybe it's a word. Or maybe, I've even known it, when you're either walking past a place or driving past a place, you start to think of something. Suddenly that memory gives you that feeling.

And I've been having it a little bit more often now because I've been going through maybe the last six podcast episodes, talking about and sharing about my search for change. I've been talking about a North Star, a new direction. Maybe you're having that too.

Or maybe you eventually will have the need to change direction. You know, something happens intuitively and you go, this is the right time. And then, ooh, because in this, for me, seeking change, a new direction, that's brought a lot of oohs.

Ooh, I don't like that feeling. So, can you relate to that maybe? Can you think of times when, unexpectedly, you just had, let's call it a weird feeling. We know it's negative, but it's not major, but it's something there.

And you can't explain it. You know, it could be a full run of things like panic attack, but generally, there might be a little bit of anxiety in there, a little bit of worry, a little bit of that type of, I'm not sure, what is this? You just can't explain it. And you see, I take it as a signal, a signal from my unconscious mind, saying, hey, Cloughie, but that's about it at the time.

And what do we do? What was the normal thing that nearly everybody does? We try to push that feeling away, don't we? Because it's not the nicest feeling in the world. It's a little bit horrible. It's messy.

I want to push it away. Go away. I don't want to know.

We try to ignore it, don't we? And the more we push it away, the more we ignore it. Guess what? It gets louder. It gets bigger.

It comes back at us. Because I believe it's a signal from our unconscious mind saying, hey, I've got something for you. But it's just in a weird, weird way of communicating, isn't it? Now, there is a thought, and I use it myself, and I've taught it, is to sit with that feeling.

Don't push it away. Just sit with it. Put your mind, as it were, in the center of that emotion, where it is in your body.

And just sit there. Acknowledge it. Don't try to change it.

Sometimes the process will be to explore its qualities, which is weird. You know, what color is it? Does it have a shape? Does it move around? Does it have a temperature? Is it rough or smooth? Does it pulse? Just to get to know the sub-modalities of it, the qualities of it. And sometimes doing that, it will either just disappear because you've acknowledged it, or you might get an indication of what it means, what it's trying to say to you.

But sometimes you don't. And I think there's a better way. There's a better way to learn.

And I've been learning different things, as I say, through my quest for a new direction in my life. And when you think about it, new directions can be pretty major, a little bit like my re-looking for the qualities of a North Star, a new direction. Or it could be just a decision you're making.

And there's a whole spectrum of thoughts that would create this. But what would happen if there was a better way? A better way to understand. A better way to learn.

A better way to have your unconscious mind let you know what it's trying to do for you, because it will be positive. It just doesn't feel good at that time. But what would happen if it could really find out what your unconscious mind is trying to say to us? Well, that's what I want to share with you on the deeper dive, because I know I've been talking about lots of different ways of finding your direction, asking questions.

All these steps along the way for my new direction and what I'm finding and sharing. And what I thought was, well, I haven't told you about those feelings. And it's important, I think, before we start to keep moving on in these new ways and what comes along on this adventure of life, as it were.

So on the next longer podcast, I want to dive a little bit more deeper into understanding your unconscious mind, how it's communicating with you through these feelings, so we can then just let them go, because we understand. Intuitively, we will know. And I think, well, that was important to me, to help me move forward.

It was like a blockage. You're trying to make a decision, and there's something weird, but you can't make it out. It's just like a blockage, something you can't see.

You can't grasp. And I want you to be able to see the answers, grasp the answers, and understand and make great decisions for yourself. So come with me, if that's of interest.

I think it'll be really interesting. What we'll discover, what we'll find, and ways to work with your unconscious mind, because it's a work with, isn't it? A do with, not a do to. If that's of interest, come with me on that longer podcast.

Subscribe, follow. You know what I say, because when it comes along, it'll come on that listening device of choice, so you don't even have to think about it. You just, hey, here's Cloughie, let's just press play.

Maybe just have a little think over the next few days, some of those feelings you've had, because it might be good to remember them for that episode, because then you'll be in tune. Maybe bring a little notebook as well, just in case. Another puzzle book, maybe.

Please do that. Please share the hell out of this bloody thing. I'm sharing the hell out of everything I know and what I'm experiencing, so if you could just share that, this episode and the Personal Development Unplugged podcast, that would be absolutely wonderful.

And if there is something in that feeling that you think, I'd like to know a little bit more about this, or you know what that blockage is, email me, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and we'll create an episode around it. Brilliant. Love to hear your celebrations too, by the way.

Email me. I love hearing how things are changing with you. It's wonderful.

So until the next time, my friend, let's go and fly. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people.

And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them and this will help. Help the podcast, it will help you and it will help, well, everyone that you know. So if you could just subscribe and share.

Share this podcast to everyone you bloody well know. That's the only cost. Pay it forward to everyone.

And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours and the people in it. Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay.

Okay. You can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning.

You are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly and run. Be brave, my friend.

Personal Development Unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

You know what you want. You probably know what you need to do. You may even have the knowledge, experience and tools to make it happen.

So why aren't you doing it?

That was the question that stopped me in my tracks.

In this deeper dive, I explore a surprisingly useful way of getting unstuck: What would someone who has already achieved what I'm trying to achieve do?

It's not about comparing yourself with someone who is supposedly "better" than you. It's about modelling success—discovering the behaviours, beliefs, decisions, habits and ways of thinking that already work, then making them your own.

We look at some of the things that can quietly stop us taking action: limiting beliefs, fear of failure, perfectionism, anxiety, self-doubt, identity and that nagging internal voice telling us we shouldn't, couldn't or aren't good enough.

And then we turn the question into a practical process you can use with your own goals, projects and dreams.

You don't have to become somebody else.

You can borrow their eyes, discover what works, and turn it into your way of doing things.

Because perhaps you know more than you think you know.

And perhaps you don't need the whole path.

You just need to discover the next step.

In this episode

• Why knowing what to do doesn't always lead to taking action
• The question that stopped me in my tracks
• How to use modelling to achieve your goals
• The difference between copying someone and learning from them
• How limiting beliefs and fear of failure can keep you stuck
• What your internal dialogue might be telling you
• A practical process for discovering what you're not doing
• How to identify what successful people consider "obvious"
• Turning someone else's successful patterns into your own
• Why you don't need the whole path—just the next step

The question to take away

What would someone who has already achieved the thing I'm trying to achieve do?

Then take it one step further:

What are they doing that I'm not doing?

And finally:

If I knew what they knew, what would I do next?

Not tomorrow.

Not someday.

Next.

And probably add in a share or two of this episode https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/489-what-would-someone-whos-already-done-it-do

See me recording this here https://youtu.be/mbKbM2Cu4Rw

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected].

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Special Programs for You

For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

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Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me

Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

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Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

.

Personal development unplugged. Hey my friend, if you listen to the FMQ, the question that stopped me in my tracks, this is a deeper dive going into that question. And it's not about how you achieve your goals or anything like that, not at all.

Something even deeper, more subtle than that and I think it will get you on the path you need to be. Because that's what it's all about, isn't it? Finding our path and treading it gently, making our life richer. That's what I think.

So I think this is, and that new question, is a bit of the missing puzzle or a piece of the missing. Or missing, that's a better way to put it Cloughie, the missing piece of a puzzle. If you already know what you want and you already know a lot about how to get it, then the question might be, this is a different question, why aren't you doing what you know? Why haven't you got it yet? That's interesting, isn't it? Why aren't you just doing it? Because you know what you want and you've got some good knowledge, haven't you? Because I want to move from knowing and I want to move that through just, I don't know, maybe something like, what would I do differently if I knew how? Because that would make a difference, wouldn't it? In fact, you could even change that to an even richer question.

Something we can really dive into, which is, what's stopping me doing that now? So it's not, what would I do differently if I knew how? But what's stopping me doing that right now? You see, if you remember from that five minute quickie, I was listening to the Chris Williams podcast, Modern Wisdom. And he said something, because he loves his quotes, doesn't he? He loves his little memes because they're so good, they're condensed. They make you remember things.

And this one really stuck me. It like, I was walking and I just stopped, literally stopped in my tracks. And I started searching, searching for an answer.

Because it was that, I thought it was just that powerful. It's so simple, so easy. It just went inside and I did my little search in all the different areas of my brain.

Because I knew this stuff. I don't think I ever told you that question, did I? A question that actually froze me, dropped me in the tracks. I'm going to give it to you now and then we'll go right into it.

And the question was, well, I'll tell you in a minute. You see, I know that you've been searching. I know that you know your stuff.

I know that you've got experience. It was all the things that were going through my head, telling myself. I know my stuff, I've got experience.

I've actually got tools. We've got tools here, haven't we? We've got hypnosis tracks, NLP tracks. We've got over a thousand episodes here.

Got the tools. And for me, I was thinking, I even teach or I've taught this stuff. I've shared it.

And in my particular bit, I was thinking, yeah, so why aren't I doing it? Does that relate to you? Because you've got the, you know the stuff. You've got the experience. You know your tools.

You've got them. You can come and get them here. Why aren't you doing what you want to do? Here's a question.

What would someone better than you do in relation to that thing you're not doing? What would someone better than you do? That fucking hurt. That did. That really did.

Ouch. I thought, yeah, that gave me all those thoughts. What would somebody else do better than you? And I thought to myself when I got back, I don't think that's the right question.

And I wanted to challenge it. Something in my head kept saying, I think there's a better way to ask this question. And if you ask it in a better way, I think you get better results.

But certainly that made me jolt. It gave me that. But when you think of the word better, does that mean more successful? Does it mean more experience? Does it mean more confident? Yeah.

More knowledgeable? Maybe even more courageous? Who knows? And I thought, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's when I think of something better than me, sometimes I get that brought me down a little. But then I thought, let's simplify this.

Into, and I love the word simply. You know that we've talked about when you put the word simply in front of things. It just makes it so easy to slip inside.

So I came up with this thing. It's simply somebody who has already achieved the thing that you're trying to achieve. That's it.

What would somebody who has already achieved the thing you're trying to achieve do? Wow. And that just made it so much better. Because if I want to become a better podcast, I want to be a better artist.

I want to be a better me. I want to be better at finding my North Star, all that stuff. I don't need someone who's better than me as a human being.

There's a lot of them around, but I don't need that to inspire me. I need to ask, what does someone who is already brilliant at this, this thing, what do they do that I don't? And now you see we've really hit the thing here. Going back to even NLP, your own linguistic program.

It's all about modeling. You model somebody without any ego, no baggage, no envy. A little bit of envy in the way I want to learn what you do.

But that's the only bit. You see, NLP was based on modeling how great performers got to be so great. Modeling, modeling them and then taking on their steps.

Maybe sometimes modifying it to become us. So let's look a little deeper. And I think we can.

I want to ask you a question. And this is what might come up from this. When you think about that question, somebody who has already achieved the thing you're trying to achieve.

What are you not doing? Think of that now. Maybe, maybe if you've got your little puzzle book out, you could write that question down and let the answer, or certainly let it flow after the answer. So what are you doing? What are you not doing? So it's not what you don't know.

It's what you aren't doing. And that's a massive difference. Because you know, I know that you know.

You just don't know that you know. You see, we should all over ourselves, don't we? You know, you might know what you should do. You should make that telly.

You should publish that thing. You should practice more. You should ask for help.

You should have that difficult conversation, maybe. You should stop doing that something. And you should start doing that.

Maybe you should spend an hour on that important project rather than three hours faffing around with the insignificant stuff. The urgent stuff. Not the importance.

No, I should have. I could have. I wish I'd.

No. You see, you know. You know, but you don't know.

You don't know that you know. And this is where we're going. Because you do know.

Now you see, there's stuff that affects us sometimes. And this is where we go to. In our identity, the things that stop us is things like, I'm not the person who does this type of stuff.

That's just not me. And maybe we've got that little fear. The fear that I'm going to fail.

And we know that hurts. Failure can hurt. And therefore I want to be perfect and I can't be perfect.

And when I fail at that. You know, maybe on that identity thing linked with that belief. I'm a perfectionist.

Therefore, I've got to be perfect. And that's bollocks. Sorry.

And you've got those beliefs. I mean, the belief is I'm a perfectionist. But, you know, I'm not good enough.

I don't deserve this. And they're all limiting, aren't they? Maybe in our value, the why, we just don't understand our why yet. And that's the thing.

Yet. Because we don't. This is all where we get these should as I would have wished I didn't.

All that stuff. Maybe we have that internal dialogue. That bloody voice that keeps telling us, Ooh, I wouldn't do that.

You know, it criticizes. Little thing on your shoulder. Beep, beep, beep.

Disrupts you. Distracts you. Let's do this instead.

That's hard. Let's go and have some instant pleasure. Get that dopamine thing.

Or maybe when you think of your emotions. Maybe we get that little bit of anxiety. That fear that puts us in that stuck state.

We freeze. Maybe we hide. And then right, maybe below all of this is in your unconscious mind.

Doing its best for you with a wonderful positive intention to keep you safe. But everything I've just talked about bloody hurts, isn't it? So there's got to be a better way to keep you safe. Because this is not a safe feeling, is it? And if it's not a safe feeling, I believe your unconscious mind will find a better way.

If we guide it. And we need to guide it. So can you understand now, if we start looking at someone who's already brilliant at the stuff that you want to do.

That you're not currently doing. That's the place to look, isn't it? That's the place. So everything I've just talked about is, in some ways, apart from that wonderful safety that your unconscious mind is doing.

They're all the effects of trying to keep you safe. But in an inappropriate way. And therefore you could say they're all balls.

Because we're going to change it. We're going to get safer. So I want you to experience something with me.

I do. I want you to experience something with me. And if you could, I'd like you to close your eyes.

Because it just takes away the distractions. You know that. And I'd like you to think of one goal.

Something you're working on, mate. But you're not quite there. Choose that goal.

Choose that project that you're just a little bit stuck on. Maybe you've... Those things I said. Those are called balls.

Maybe they resonated with you on that particular thing. So if you would, maybe just close your eyes. It's not hypnosis.

It's just blotting out anything that can distract you. Because we have enough of them. And choose that one goal.

And as you think of that goal, I want you to imagine someone who's already achieved it. It could be in real life. Ideally in real life.

Someone who's doing the thing that you want to do. If that doesn't come up quickly, we can use our imagination. And you just imagine somebody who's already achieved it.

Works both ways. And I don't want you to think of Superman. No.

Not some fancy billionaire. Because there's, you know, the show reels and the real stuff. I want you to imagine a real person.

A real person. Or imagine a version of someone who has all the qualities required to do this. The thing that you want to do.

Now, answers will come. They may come intuitively. They may be from your imagination.

Because that's good too. You know, using your intuition. Because it comes from the same bloody place, doesn't it? It comes from inside.

And ideally you have that puzzle book. Because I want you to write that sucker down, as Hogan says. So let's explore it.

You brought this person to mind. How do they see the situation? How do they see it? How do they see the situation of being this achiever? Intuitively understand now. What do they notice that you don't notice? Here's a good one.

What do they believe that is possible? Wow. What do they believe that is possible? What would they do first? First or next, depending on the situation. What would they do? The very next, first thing.

And when you look at this person in your imagination, or this person you see. What do they waste time doing? Intuitively you'll know. What don't they waste time doing? How do they talk to themselves? Is it in a whingey whiney voice? What's the quality of the type of words they use? Here's a good one.

What would they consider obvious that you currently consider difficult? Oh, that's a golden nugget if ever I heard one. See, now we're moving. Coming away from the problem.

And we're modelling the desired state. The desired answer that you want. And put it all together now.

Put it all together. If you knew what they knew, what would you do next? What would you do next? Not tomorrow. Oh, no.

Not tomorrow. Not bloody someday. Next.

Right now. What would you do? Yeah. You see, you might say this.

And this is something I thought about. You say, hang on a minute. Hang on a minute, Cloughie.

If I'm always asking what somebody else would do, am I just creating another version of either them or the old me who needs someone to tell them how to live, how to do everything? And the answer is absolutely bloody no. No way. You see, we learn from somebody else.

We learn. We have teachers. And this is a teacher.

Teachers come along in many different guises. Some in your head and your imagination. By asking these times.

We learn from somebody else and become more completely ourselves. Because when you think about it, there's only one bloody you. The awesome you.

The unique you. And this is where I started right at the very beginning. Well, sort of nearly the beginning.

You don't know what you know. And you don't know that you know what you know. Because you don't know.

But now you're starting to know it. We're pulling it out. This is you.

We're learning. We're modelling. And then we're moulding it into us to get what we want.

How we want. You've probably opened your eyes by now. Well, I'd like you to close them again.

If it's okay. Again, this is not hypnosis. But you will be going inside if that's okay.

So just take a moment. Make sure you're going to be undisturbed. You might need that puzzle book for after just to write things down.

As you know, we're going to write these. Some things come up. But I want you to consider some questions again.

So, if it's okay, close your eyes. Make sure you're going to be undisturbed. And it's safe to do so.

Close your eyes. Let's just think about this issue. Or this thing.

Not an issue. It's a thing that you're trying to do. One to achieve.

It could be anything. I did it for my North Star. I found my new direction in life.

Because I had different things I wanted to do now. I'm moving towards them. It's a direction.

But here we are. I want you to ask yourself right now. You, in this moment.

About this thing. Just ask yourself. What am I doing? And just notice all the different types of answers that make them.

What am I doing? What am I avoiding? That's an interesting one, isn't it? What am I avoiding? It might be the one thing. That one step. That makes all the difference.

What am I telling myself? What are the words? What are the things I'm saying? What am I understanding from my internal voice? My internal chatter? What am I telling myself? Because you're doing it, aren't you? Let that sink in. Just let it sink in. If you need to open your eyes and write some answers down.

That's fine. What am I doing? What am I avoiding? And what am I telling myself? You can always come back. But it might be nice just to take a note of them.

And what the answers may be. You can go deeper in this. All by yourself.

Now. If you've opened your eyes. Close your eyes again.

And I want you to think of. If you were in the position. Actually in that person.

Someone who has already succeeded. Achieved doing the things. Put yourself in their position.

Looking through their eyes. The eyes of someone who is already succeeding. What you're doing.

What do they see? How do they see the future? Of this thing you're doing. The next step. Opportunities.

What do they see as opportunity? Maybe they see things as a wonderful problem to solve. A wonderful experience. I don't know.

What do they see? What do they do? How do they do it? What would they do? And if you could hear their voice. What would they tell you? To stop. What would they tell you? You know the truth.

Now. I want you to. In your imagination.

Morph these two people together. The real you. And this imagined person.

Who has succeeded. Been successful in everything. That you want to be successful in.

Just let yourself come together. Through all these questions we've been asking. You can allow.

The wonderful skills. Be part of you. The behaviours.

The emotions. The beliefs. The values.

You've got them all. You've got them all. No one else.

Not somebody else. They're in you now. And that's the important thing to remember now.

Because you don't know. That you don't know. But now you do.

And with all of this. What would happen if you were to float out. Into the future.

I don't know. Maybe six months. Maybe a year.

Whatever feels. Comfortable. Appropriate.

To you. And you've integrated all these behaviours. These skills.

These emotions. The thought patterns. The beliefs.

They're all integrated in you. You've got them. You've been using them.

Over this period of time. And if you were to be here. In the future.

And you look back. Back at yourself. Back in the now.

Today. What would you tell yourself to do? What would you tell. That you.

Back then. In the now. Right here.

Now. From the future. What would you tell yourself.

To do now? So we're not imitating anybody. Are we? We are ourselves. And we're extracting.

All the patterns. From successful people. And making them.

Ours. Making them yours. Yeah.

So here's the thing. You can open your eyes. Open your eyes.

Just. Yeah. I think this is probably the last time.

Not the last time you'll open your eyes. But the last time in this episode. That you'll close them.

That's what I'm trying to say. You see. We've been doing all this modelling.

We've been doing this integration. Awesome, don't you? But it reminds me of one little thing. I talked of in the FMQ.

Superman. Spiderman. The Hulk.

And then I sort of explored. That ordinary person. Underneath the superhero.

Inside the costume. As it were. Clark Kent.

Peter Parker. Bruce Banner. We know them.

But you see. That superhero. Wasn't created by changing.

Into some. Somebody completely different. We've talked about that.

It was always. Always there. Always there.

Inside. The capability was just hidden. Maybe it was undeveloped.

Maybe it was constrained. Maybe not even yet trusted. Because you have to trust yourself.

Don't you? You see. You. Me.

Especially you. Everyone. Is a superhero.

In. Hiding. There are no extraordinary people.

Everybody you think. As an extraordinary person. Is just an ordinary person.

Doing extraordinary things. And that's you. You've got all that capability.

You can do whatever you choose. Now. We know how to trust ourselves.

And. Yeah. This is real.

This is real. And. If you remember from previous podcasts.

You know. I say. I'm still finding my way.

And my way. Changes. As I change.

And when you. Think in that way. Sometimes finding your way.

Really means. Temporary. Borrowing.

Somebody else's eyes. Looking through the eyes. Of someone who's already done.

Successfully. What you wanted. You see.

You don't have to have the whole path. You really don't. You just have to have.

The next step. It's like. If you're driving at night.

You've got your headlights out there. You can only see. So long.

That's like the next step. But you know. You're going to get there.

You know. You've got a direction. You've got an idea.

Where you want to end up. But maybe there's new opportunities on the way. It's like walking through fog.

You know where you're going. But you just can't quite. You can't see it.

You know it's there. But we just take. Every time you take one more step.

Towards that. End. That desire.

The place you want to be. The thing you want to achieve. The fog just opens up.

A little bit more. As you get there. Hey.

How many metaphors. Can we think of? So. I want you to take this from.

I don't know what to do. You see. I hope you're going to think.

I probably know. More than I think. And all you have to think of.

This is like the summary. Of it all. You just ask yourself.

When you've got this issue going on. Or you want to make progress. Or you want to just think.

Where am I stuck? So what would somebody. Who's already done this. And what are they doing that I'm.

What am I doing? Oh. Maybe this. There's an emotion there.

That's trying to protect me here. Maybe I can. Work with that.

Yeah. That's different isn't it? Work with it. Not push it away.

And. You don't have to become. That person.

The person who's already done that. I can just take. What works.

And make it mine. Own it. What would.

The future me do? What would they say? And once you get that. You just go and fuck it. That's what you do.

Now I'll be talking. A little bit more about this. And sometimes.

You know. Even when we've got all this. Sometimes it does bring up emotions.

That we need to. To. As we said.

You know. Work with. You know.

Maybe it's somebody trying to protect me. And I have to work with that. And that's where I want to go.

On a couple of episodes. But. I keep sharing what I learn.

Now. If this has stirred anything up in you. Any question.

Or maybe there's emotion. You go. Oh.

I'd like a little bit more help with. All you've got to do is email me. Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com I'm the only bugger here.

Only person in this. Who receives that email. So you'll get a personal.

We'll be able to build. Episodes around it. You know.

No names. You don't know where. These episodes have come.

They come from questions. They've come from me. They come from.

Different experiences. What we've all learned. So do that.

Let me know. Keep subscribing. Keep following.

And all that stuff. Put the notifications on. So you don't miss.

One episode. They won't all hit. Hit.

The button. I know. But there'll be something there for you.

There'll be a. A golden nugget. Can work. And then share the hell out.

Just as I'm sharing the hell out. Of everything I know. Everything I experience.

I'm trying to. Pull it out here. This is Cloughie.

This is me. This is what I've done. Not what I've done in.

The Ego Star. But this is what. Maybe we can.

And I'd love the same from you. And I'd love to hear some. Celebrations too.

But hey. Whatever you. Whatever floats your boat.

That'll be good for me. So. Until the next time my friend.

And we start. Sowing the seeds. And the longer deeper.

Have more fun than you can stand. And maybe. You the unconscious mind.

Can surprise them. By feeling happy. For no reason.

Time to fly my friend. See you later. Warning.

You are now leaving. The unplugged mind. Of Paul Clough.

It's time to fly now. Be brave my friend. Personal Development Unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

A Question That Stopped Me In My Tracks

Have you ever heard a question that made you stop dead?

Not because you didn't understand it.

Quite the opposite.

Because you understood it too well.

That's what happened to me.

I was listening to Chris Williamson on the Modern Wisdom podcast when he asked a question that stopped me in my tracks. And almost immediately I started searching for an answer.

Not because I didn't know the answer.

I did.

And that was the bloody interesting bit.

I realised that knowledge wasn't my problem. Action was.

I knew what I wanted. I knew some of the things I needed to do. I've been doing this personal development stuff for long enough to have a pretty good toolbox.

So why wasn't I acting?

That question took me somewhere much more interesting than I expected.

It got me thinking about my own search for meaning, direction, purpose and my North Star. It made me wonder about the dreams, goals and desires we have — and what might actually be stopping us from moving towards them.

Because perhaps sometimes the problem isn't that we don't know what to do.

Perhaps there's something underneath that knowledge quietly saying:

"Not yet."

And that's where things like limiting beliefs, emotional blockages, self-doubt and our internal voice can start to show themselves.

What happens when you see opportunity differently?

In this FMQ, I start exploring what might happen if we could make our dreams and goals:

• Bigger
• Brighter
• Richer
• Quicker
• And, perhaps most importantly, more enjoyable to pursue

Because achieving something isn't the whole story, is it?

How we experience the journey matters too.

I want to explore how the way we see the world, the things we believe about ourselves and that little voice inside our heads can influence whether we actually take action.

And I've got a feeling that question might give us a rather useful way of uncovering what's getting in the way.

This is the seed...

This is a Five Minute Quickie, so I'm deliberately leaving the question hanging.

I'd like you to think about something you're working towards right now.

Perhaps it's:

Work. Health. Relationships. A project. A dream. A goal. Or simply letting go of something that's been holding you back.

Write it down if you can.

Don't solve it yet.

Just bring it with you.

Because in the longer Deeper Dive, we're going to explore the question properly and see whether we can turn it into a practical process for uncovering what's stopping us — and perhaps finding a better way forward.

And who knows?

Maybe your answer will surprise you.

That's certainly what happened to me.

Have a think. And enjoy every heartbeat.

Please Share and pay it forward https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-540-a-question-that-stopped-me-in-my-tracks

And if you want to see m,e recording this https://youtu.be/QM19D4Hzu8I

🎧 Listen to the Deeper Dive

If this question has already started rattling around inside your head, don't leave it there.

Come with me into the next longer episode where we'll explore the question properly and see what it can teach us about taking action, overcoming limiting beliefs and moving towards the life we actually want.

About Personal Development Unplugged

I'm Paul Clough, and for years I've been exploring NLP, hypnosis, personal development, confidence and the wonderfully strange workings of the human mind.

These days, I'm becoming increasingly interested in something beyond simply fixing problems.

How do we create a life we actually want to experience?

That's the conversation I'm having with myself — and with you.

🎁 Free Hypnosis Tracks

If there's something getting in the way of your confidence, goals or personal development, I've created a growing collection of free hypnosis tracks that you can explore.

Find them at: paulcloughonline.com/podcast

Connect With Me

I'd genuinely like to know what this question does to you.

What did it make you think about?

And more importantly...

What do you already know you should be doing — but aren't doing?

Drop me a line:

[email protected]

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Subscribe to the Podcast

Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You

For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Connect with Me

Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms

Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

Welcome to this five-minute quickie with me, Paul, Paul Clough. I had a question that stopped me right in my tracks. It was thrown out by, I say thrown out, by a guy called Chris Williams of the Modern Wisdom podcast. Now, if you haven't subscribed to that one, I'd subscribe because it is bloody, bloody good, really is. But let's get back to the story. You see, have you had that experience where you hear something or you see something, someone asked you a question and boom, it stops you in your tracks and somehow the words don't come out and you go and search for an answer. If you look at people doing this, their eyes go in all different directions. It's called a trans-derivational search in NLP terms, but you look everywhere for the answer. It's like going into the place we call the void to try to find something. And this question, well, it stopped me in my tracks, but made me think. I love questions that make me think. It made me think about my search for meaning, my North Star, my direction, you know, my redesign, as it were, finding my new way, my path. And you see, it got me so much. I was so excited about this question. I shared it. It's good to share. It's good to share. I shared it with two of my sons and they were blown away by it. Made them think. And as we talked about it, we got the same type of reactions, but I wasn't happy just to use that one question. I wanted to find out why, even knowing the answer to that question was triggering me. You see, I wasn't doing the answers to the question and I had knowledge. I know a lot about it. As soon as that question came along, I was starting to think of different answers. So knowledge wasn't the problem. It was action, wasn't it? I wasn't acting. So something must be stopping me. So you have to have a little think, I guess. And that's where the longer, deeper dive comes into. And that's where we're going to go next, because I think you'll find it really exciting. See, I want to explore that question and how we, you and I, might use it to really get our dreams, our goals, our desires, or basically anything you want quicker. Maybe we can get them a little bit bigger, you know, dream bigger. Maybe we'll get them even brighter, so they're even richer. Maybe we'll get them even quicker. Did I say quicker? Maybe get in there just a little bit quicker. And most importantly, enjoy the process of all of that. Can you imagine doing that? What would it be like if you could think of ways to make your dreams, goals, desires, become bigger, brighter, come along quicker? And how would you be in the world? Think about it. How would you see the world? How would you see the world through your eyes? I think you'd start to see it with more opportunity, wouldn't you? And when you see things with more opportunity and you believe in yourself with the opportunity, you start to believe in your competence, which gives you the confidence to really step out. What would that feel like? I mean, what would you say to yourself inside? What would your internal voice be? I don't think it would be that, oh, I'm not really good enough, or I'm not sure, or maybe what happens if I fail, or maybe, you know, I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be thinking, you know, who am I to think of these dreams, these goals, desires? No, I think you'll think, you know, I've got this. I deserve this. I'm going to get it. I'm so lucky I get the opportunity. That's what goes in my head. What goes in your head? What would the inner voice say? And when you put what you see, how you see the world, you filter the world, all those opportunities, you've got that good feeling, you've got that great internal voice, you'd probably have some really powerful, positive beliefs that support you, wouldn't it? Wouldn't you? Just think about them all now. Now you see, all of that got me, and I wanted to explore what stops us following those answers? What stops us getting into that wonderful way of being, seeing opportunities, having supportive beliefs, feeling so competent and confident in the world, achieving things, getting rid of things like limiting beliefs, because that's what we have, don't we? We have hold ups, we have emotional blockages, we have limiting beliefs, and if we can discover them because of this question, then I think we might be onto something. Might not be the whole panacea of getting everything, but I think it'll go a long, long way. Take a pause just for a moment, just pause for a second or two, if it's okay, and think about what you're doing now, what you're working on, in all different contexts, because I know deep down, even if you're not going to mid-air, you've got a dream or dreams, you've got goals, maybe you're doing a project for work, they're all goals, they're all different things that are going to give you things. Think of, say, work-related goals, think about your health, maybe relationships, maybe even, even letting go of issues. They all come within this question, and I want you to think about what you're doing, what you'd like to achieve in those different contexts, so work-related, health-related, relationships, issues. So if you could think about that, maybe even write them down, don't really do anything with them, but just so when we go on to the longer, deeper dive, you've got that little bit of memory there, it's written down. So as we dive deeper to find and get those answers, you'll be working along with me, with your specific issue that you want to work through. I think when we do that, you'll have a process that you can start to use, and I think what happens is when you get that process, okay, the first couple of times it might be a bit clunky, you have to sit down and think a little bit harder, but your unconscious mind starts to get that process, and you start to do it more naturally. And then those blockages, those limiting beliefs, those emotions, the ones that were stopping you, seem to just disappear because you've now got a better way of being. So if that excites you, come explore that question with me, then I'd love your company on the longer, deeper dive that will follow this five-minute quickie. If you think you've got a mate, a friend, work colleague, or somebody who you feel might be just being stifled a little bit, we all are really, maybe just give them the heads up on this as well, because if they come with us too, we get to share a new way of life, or getting the dreams, the goals, the desires that we deserve, they're out there just for the grasping. So come with me, come with me, subscribe so you get the next longer podcast coming up on your playing device of of choice, and we'll have a great time, okay? So until next week, get those thoughts going, write them down, and I will see you, because it's time to fly. So this five-minute quickie, what's it all about? It's all about a question. It stopped me in my tracks, it made me think, it made me go, wow, there's opportunity here. The answer gives you a great opportunity, and it made me explore my own personal path, my direction, the stuff I'm doing now. And it's going to be the seed for the longer, deeper dive, so we can start to get our goals, dreams, and desires quicker, bigger, brighter, and richer. If that's of interest, have a listen now.

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

You're Not Who You Think You Are

Who the f*ck am I?

That was the question that dropped into my head while I was sitting with my puzzle book. And what started as a bit of quiet thinking took me somewhere I didn't expect.

We often confuse who we are with what we do. I'm a therapist. I'm a parent. I'm a partner. I'm successful. I'm anxious. I'm confident. But those are roles, behaviours and experiences. They aren't necessarily our identity.

So who are we underneath all of that?

I started thinking about Superman, Spider-Man, Batman and Wonder Woman. They all have different identities, different roles and different ways of showing up in the world, but underneath the costume there's something deeper: values, purpose, a calling and a direction.

And perhaps that's true for us too.

In this episode, I explore identity, self-discovery, personal growth, purpose and finding your North Star, along with a simple process for meeting the different versions of yourself and asking one rather interesting question:

Which one is pretending to be you?

I also share how my puzzle book has become a surprisingly powerful tool for thinking, asking better questions, exploring the unconscious mind and finding my way through change.

This isn't me teaching you who you are. It's me sharing what I'm discovering about myself and inviting you to explore alongside me.

Because maybe we're not here to find ourselves once and for all.

Maybe we're here to keep discovering who we're becoming.

Enjoy every heartbeat.

What You'll Explore

• Why we can confuse our roles and behaviours with our identity
• The difference between what you do and who you are
• How self-discovery can reveal parts of ourselves we've overlooked
• Why values and purpose may matter more than rigid goals
• Finding your calling and personal direction
• My North Star approach to personal development
• A simple process for exploring the different versions of yourself
• How a puzzle book can help uncover thoughts, ideas and unconscious insights
• Why leaving a question unfinished can sometimes be surprisingly useful
• How to use curiosity and reflection for personal growth

A Question For You

Which version of you is pretending to be you?

And perhaps the more interesting question:

Who's noticing them all?

Don't forget to share or should I say REMEMBER to share this episode https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/488-youre-not-who-you-think-you-are

And if you want to me recording this episode https://youtu.be/B1Ci7953cME

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected].

Subscribe to the Podcast

Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You

For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks

Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me

Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms

Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

So, welcome to this longer podcast with me, Paul. You're not who you think you are. Sometimes the roles we mistake for ourselves.

You see, the other night I had a conversation with my puzzle book. Yeah, I speak to my puzzle. My puzzle book speaks to me.

And I sat there. Sometimes you sit there and you just have to wait for something to arrive and then completely out of nowhere, the question just appeared. And it was, who the fuck am I? Simple as that.

Who the fuck am I? You see, it wasn't in a desperate way. It was a genuine question of me asking myself. Because sometimes, as we say, the roles we have or we think we have are a mistake.

A mistake of how we recognize. A long, not a long time ago, a little while ago on an FMQ and a longer podcast, I talked about behavior, the behaviors and the roles that we think we have. You see, sometimes, I mean, I used to say, I was a therapist.

I'm a therapist. I am a therapist. I'm a hypnotist.

I'm a parent. I'm a dad. And I'm none of those.

What do you call yourself? Who do you think you are? Who do you identify? Because none of those are what you are, who you are. They're just the roles that you play. And you see, it's just what you're doing.

It's not your identity. You're not your roles. I want to think about something.

You see, what came to mind while this bloody question got into my head was, what does Superman, Spider-Man, Batman, and even throw Wonder Woman in there, all have, all have in common? What do they have? Take a moment. That's what puzzle books do for you. They get you to think weird things.

And what do they have? They have two identities, don't they? One that the world sees, yeah? Everyone sees them from the outside. But there's another one. The one that they know private.

And that's what the puzzle book does for me. Get inside. But there's a twist, you see.

Neither are actually who they are. Clark Kent isn't bloody Superman. Superman isn't really Superman either.

Both are just expressions, aren't they? Peter Parker is Spider-Man, isn't he? Peter Parker. Bruce Banner is not the Hulk. And the Hulk is.

They're all trying to, I don't know, reconcile the parts of themselves. And there was this mixture going on in my head. And then I thought, this isn't about superheroes, even though I've written notes about them.

It's about integration. You see, I had another thought. Doesn't every superhero have a calling? They're not a goal, are they? It's not the goal.

They have a calling. You see, Spider-Man never says, my goal is. Have you ever heard him say that in the movies? No, of course you have.

Because he lives by value. You see, they're value and they have a great. Superman lives by service.

Batman, by justice. And a thought came up to me, and I've talked about my North Star. We've all have a North Star, a direction.

You see, my North Star, I started to think of goals, identity, direction, purpose. And it was as if I began to think about they're all joining together to become one being, one thing. Bloody me, Cluffy.

Yeah, that was surprising. All coming through this, this puzzle book, sitting down quietly, being suddenly jolted. Who the fuck am I? Why don't you do something with me? If it's okay, by the way, I'd like you to close your eyes.

Because I want to do a little process. Because even though we're doing conversations, I'm always going to include a process or two. So if it's safe to do so, you can close your eyes.

Maybe be undisturbed just for a little while. I want you to do some imagining. It'll be great.

So find a place where you'll be undisturbed if you can. Close your eyes. Take a moment or two.

Give yourself permission to explore. Be curious. Yeah.

And if not, bookmark this place. But if it's okay, take a nice in-breath. Allow your eyes to close as you breathe out.

Because I want you to use your imagining. See, I want you to imagine meeting all the different of yourself. So imagine now in front of you, the working, the career, what you've trained to see yourself, the work.

Maybe you're a parent. So see that version of you now, the parent. Or if you've been like a parent to sometimes take that role, don't we? So see that version of you, the work partner.

Meet that you, the notice what you know. And I guess we've all helped people in some way by talking, having a conversation, guiding, effectively being a coach. So see that version of you, the helper, the assistant.

And then we've all been frightened at one time or another in our life, haven't we? What about that frightened version? It doesn't have to be the big scary fright. Maybe we're a lank. We've been anxious about something.

We've been worried. See that version of you. See them walking, thinking, talking, notice everything about them.

But then there's a reverse of that, isn't there? There's that confident version of you. Confident because you're competent. You have skills and you carry out those skills so wonderfully well because you've learned them over time.

So see that confident version of yourself now. And from that confident version, maybe there's that successful version of you where you've just succeeded. Maybe there was a few obstacles in the way, but you got over them.

You were so successful. It doesn't have to be the biggest success in the world. There are big ones and there's little successes all throughout.

See that version of you, the version of you that's just successful. And then again, there's always a reverse of that. What about the version of you that's, let's say, failed just for the sake of it? You failed at doing something.

That could be a failure for not starting something, not finishing something, maybe not thinking. But see that version of you. There's loads of them, isn't there? You could probably find even more.

The lover, the person who stands up for what's right. Maybe there's that silly version. They're all versions.

You can see them now all around you. Maybe there's a stage in front of you where every version stands. And as they all stand together on that stage, I want you to ask one question, just one, and notice what bubbles up.

Here's a question. Which one is pretending to be you? Or you can say it in your own voice. Which one pretending to be me? And then ask this question.

Who's noticing them all? Yeah, you see, the observer has never changed. You see, going back to Superman, he wasn't Superman because Spider-Man. He wasn't Spider-Man because he could climb bloody walls.

They became superheroes because they chose how to live. And I want you just to let this mull in your head now. Maybe the real superhero is the one underneath the role you've been playing.

Yeah, beneath the surface, you have a real superhero with all those wonderful skills, behaviours and things you do coalescing into one super you. And then when you think about that, being your very own superhero, remember, every superhero has a calling, not a goal, a calling, a direction, a mission. I wonder what yours is? What do you think? What's your calling? How'd you find out about calling? That's the thing.

You see, oh, you can open your eyes by the way. I jumped a little bit there. I was in my own head a little bit.

But what I'd like you to think of is, how do we find out our calling? Now, I've called mine, my North Star. And I have conversations in my puzzle book, the direction, because I used to think it was a goal, but it wasn't. It's a direction.

Yes, there'll be goals along the way, but ultimately, it's just a direction, being who you truly are, and then living the life with all your wonderful beliefs and values. Now, how do you do that? This is why I do it, because this is a sharing, a personal sharing. And I use, well, I've started off this episode with the puzzle book.

You see, it's not NLP, Neuro Linguistic Programming. It's not hypnosis. It's not journaling, although a little bit, but it's not journaling, journaling.

It's not coaching, but it's sort of coaching. But it's conversations. It's a conversation you have with the puzzle book.

And that puzzle book is you, isn't it? And here's how I use it, you see. I don't, as I say, I don't use it like a journal, because journaling is the thing, the bullet journal, all this stuff. Yeah, I journal in the mornings.

I listen to myself and write in the mornings just to clear. But puzzle book is a puzzle book. Life is a puzzle, isn't it? Finding our way is a puzzle.

Finding that calling is a puzzle. So why wouldn't you have a puzzle book? And in that puzzle book, you can have anything you like, all your ideas, your dreams, your goals, because they're all related to your calling. And all I do is I find a place to sit quietly.

Could be anywhere, could be on a walk. I just suddenly sit down, have a little book, sit down somewhere nice, and take that time to pause, to breathe, and to ask questions. And I've got, talking about questions, in the next episode or two, I've got a brilliant question, which will really blow your mind.

But that came from a puzzle book, and listening to other things, and then developing it, all through having that medium to write on. Why do you write? Because it gets it out of your head. Because if it stays in your head, guess what happens? Something comes along and pop, that goes out.

And you try thinking about two things at once, it just disappeared. And we've all had that experience, when you have such a wonderful idea. Oh, this is going to be brilliant.

You know, you're out on a walk somewhere, or you're doing something, what a brilliant idea this is. And you don't write it down. What happens? Yeah, fuck all, nothing.

Unless you're very lucky, it comes back again. But if you can use your puzzle book to make a note, to ask a question, how can I develop this? How can I use it? That makes those ideas become a dream. And that dream then becomes a goal, and then becomes part of your mission, your calling.

And we discover who we are. Or I might just in my puzzle book, sit down quietly. I love to do it in the evening, especially in the summer, so I can sit outside, a little drink on the side, whatever your tipple is.

And sometimes I just ask myself, what needs to be expressed today? What would like to come up into my conscious awareness? What part of me would like to express myself today, to me? And sometimes I'll get an emotion, and I can describe the emotion. And then words come. It's amazing to me, the words just flow through your pen.

And I've said before, I don't mind if I don't complete that thought process there and then. Because sometimes leaving the end open, and I do it a lot now, you leave the end open, your unconscious mind carries on, carries on the thought process while you sleep and dream. And then you come back to your puzzle book, or suddenly you'll get an aha moment.

And everything starts to make sense, because it's, you know, it's germinating. You just let it come to germinate and come to flower. And I think we talked about pulling up weeds and letting flowers grow or I don't know, a long time ago, it was a lovely metaphor.

And I think when you leave, you know, when you have problems, you can just put your problem down and write some questions. You know, what's the meaning? What's the intention by having this problem? Or this emotion? What are you trying to do for me? We've talked about different ways where you can talk to yourself. You know, if your app of choice allows you to search, there was one about the shadow, talking to your shadow, did that in a puzzle.

You ask the question, when you identify this feeling, just say to yourself, how can I help you? And then something tends to just come out on the page, a thought that you write down, unedited. And then you just look at it and let it roam around in that brain. Answers just come.

And then you can take them further into projects and things like that. But just being around to know who you really are, getting away from the roles, getting away from you can always ask questions like, you know, what am I not doing, that if I started doing would allow me to achieve my, my dreams and goals that are not happening at the moment? What am I doing that I should stop doing that if I stopped, would allow me to live my life so much better, you can discover beliefs limiting and positive belief and just mull them round. And I'll be going through a what I do, and it's my journey.

And I want to keep this podcast as a conversation, a sharing, as it were, see, I want to share the hell out of what I'm doing with you. It's not teaching. It's not truly coaching, but it is a little bit.

It's not NLP, but is a little bit. It's not hypnosis, but it is a little bit, but it's sharing what I discover with you, and then how we can use it. So it becomes, in a way, a philosophy of the ordinary people, some ordinary, extraordinary people are just ordinary people doing extraordinary things.

And that's what you are too. So it's not academic. It's a lived philosophy, the sort that begins with, I don't know, I was having a cup of tea, I was just sitting down with my, I had a question jump into my mind, and where that takes me.

And I think it will relate to you, because you're here, you have similar dreams, similar goals, different ages, maybe different challenges, but they'll all come together, and we get a better insight. And if I can help you discover your calling, if I can help you clear away some of the blockages, the limiting beliefs, the emotions that are stopping getting your full range of your full range of enjoyment, love, that's what I'm here for. I do need some help sometimes.

And that help comes in a form of an email from you saying, Cluffy, can you help me? And the more you do that, the more I can really see how I can help. And what tends to happen is it tends to get into me, my head, maybe I've got an issue there, maybe what would I do to get rid of it? So between us, we become our own therapist, because I'm a therapist, not your therapist, but we become our own. We've got loads of hypnosis tracks here, as you know.

So the 90 seconds of hypnosis tracks. Why have I put hypnosis tracks on a separate website? Well, it's so simple, really. I wanted you to have them all in one place.

So you can look through them all you can find the particular one you want. I've even made them downloadable. So you can put them on any of your playing devices that you prefer.

You don't need Wi Fi, you don't need the iTunes or whatever you can put them anywhere you like. You can even burn them onto disk if you want. Where do you get them? Well, there you go.

I told you it's Paul Clough online.com forward slash podcast. If you're worried about your email address, please don't be because they stay totally safe with me. I only use them to send you out that email and give you access.

Simple as that. I send you a link, a special link, so you and only you can access those hypnosis tracks because I want them just for you. And the other thing about this is you've taken responsibility.

I don't want to make these open to everyone just random. You have taken responsibility to listen and be part of this community of personal development. And I want to help you.

I want to help you personally to get your dreams, your goals, and therefore I'm giving you these tools, these protocols, these paradigms, whatever you want to call them, but in deep hypnosis. So just enjoy. Have more fun than you can stand with hypnosis.

You find them at paulcloughonline.com forward slash podcast. 65 I think hypnosis NLP pro all coming from my, my little adventure of creating my life and my way of helping others. And it's a great thing to do paying it forward.

And when you pay it forward, like sharing this, this episode, this podcast, you are contributing for no one of it. And that's true selfless service, isn't it? And that's when real joy comes to see others come, you know, making their life so rich, so beautiful. And you were maybe a little garden who planted that seed, maybe you watered it, nurtured in yourself and others.

So that's what we're going to do. I hope this has stirred something in your, in your mind, as it stirs in mind, maybe you'll get your puzzle book, and we'll start finding our way, our direction, our calling, our North Star, whatever you want to call it, together and live it. And that'd be brilliant.

That would be so good for you so good for me so good for the people around us. And so good for planet Earth, which means it's so ecologically, bloody brilliant. And then, as we got to the very beginning, you'll know who the fuck you are, you really will.

Because I think I know who the fuck I am. And I'm discovering it more and more. So with that, I'm gonna love you, I'm gonna leave you have more fun than you can stay.

And maybe you can enjoy every heart. And I wonder if I was to speak to your unconscious, just me and your unconscious mind and said, ask the question, what would it be like if you were to surprise that conscious mind by feeling happy for no reason? More and more. I think it's time to fly.

All right, your six steps to achieving supreme inner confidence. Who's this program for? This is for anyone who experiences anxiety, self doubt and fear. But deep down, they know they have something within them, just craving to be free.

It's for people who want to achieve their ambitions to achieve their dreams with total confidence and self belief. So in the next five or so minutes, we're going to realize your lack of self confidence is not the problem. It's by letting go of the fear that's holding you back and stopping that constant worrying what others think of you.

We're going to let go of nagging fear of not being good enough and being found out. So you wake up and feel good about yourself and what that day holds to be excited about the future and what that holds for you. Want to find the old you and then the real you.

How to dream the dreams you want for yourself and have those dreams become real. So I promise to you is a step by step program to supreme inner confidence. But let's be honest, this is not magic.

I don't promise to maybe wave a magic wand and say, hey, presto, everything's changed. If you really want this, you're going to have to do some work to do whatever it takes. Hey, does this sound like you? Are you constantly in fear of not being in control? Do you overthink everything? Do you question everything and everybody? Do you wonder will this ever end? And what if it doesn't see the real problem? You haven't taken the steps to deal with the true cause of all your issues.

It's okay. You're about to discover them now. And once you take them, you're going to feel so excited to see the world and the opportunities in it to have fun and laughter again, joy and happiness.

Wake up in the morning with a buzz of energy. Now that heavy load has been lifted to feel calm, content, empowered to feel free, the real sense of freedom, effortlessly to be in control again, and to simply be the real you. So who am I? I'm a master hypnotist, trainer of NLP and hypnotherapist.

I help people to be who they really are and let go of all their insecurities and enjoy their life again. In fact, for the past 18 years plus, I've simply been helping clients to let go of their issues and get their real results. That's me, Paul Clough.

Let's discover those six steps. There are six key steps you must take and make to let go of your anxiety and self-doubt fully, completely, while unleashing your undiscovered self-confidence. I'm going to walk you through all six steps.

Step one, don't fight it, but honor it. You see, this program is not a bandage or a plaster. They simply don't work.

We need to understand what your own confidence and low self-esteem is doing for you. That's right. It's doing something positive for you.

The mind shift, they're not the enemy. If you fight them, fight it, push against it, the snowball just gets bigger and bigger. You know that.

And if you fight it and push against it, it just spreads in other areas of your life. You know that. The mind shift, work with your best friend, your unconscious mind.

You see, it's all about unconscious learning, not consciously learning, because you see, you didn't learn to be this way consciously. So why would you try to solve it consciously? It rarely works and probably makes it even worse. So what does work and make things better? You see, it's all about learning at the unconscious level to truly understand what it will mean to you to be competent and confident in all areas of your life, to have your unconscious mind learn what it needs to, that once learned, will let go of all your negative feelings and debilitating and paralyzing self-talk.

That was the old way. People used to have many sessions with little or no change. You'd be guided to lovely places and feel so relaxed now, but not later.

They make you relive those past memories when things felt really uncomfortable and low. And they tell you to be confident this way, using and installing their own generic way. That's not you, that's not yours.

The secret, you see, you don't need someone telling you how to be or how long it will take. You just need the will to do whatever it takes to follow this program, because we're going to unconsciously learn from the past and keep the intention of your unconscious mind to create an empowering and confident present. And then with all of that, create the future you want.

You see, together, we're going to learn to change old beliefs. Together, we're going to find new behaviors and new ways to feel confident. See, it's not my way of being confident, free, excited, happy, calm, content, and joyful.

It's your way. And together, we're going to create a recipe in all your senses of how you want to be in all areas of your life. You see, take your time and feel comfortable.

But time doesn't really have to take that long. Some people change in a second. How long have you got? I like to work really fast, and it doesn't have to be scary or uncomfortable.

Why would you want to struggle and make it difficult? I like to work in an easy, simple and comfortable and lasting way. And let's make it easy and invest in you. See, invest in you with my help.

Self-help books and hypnosis CDs are good, but not good enough. You better pray and spray if you're going that direction. There's no game without pain.

And that's BS. The pleasure that comes from being confident in being you is immeasurable. Because when you achieve success in your competence, confidence, and high self-esteem, you're going to feel empowered.

What else couldn't you do right now? You will never know how far the ripples of this change will go. Today, I promised you a step-by-step program to regain your supreme inner confidence. The secret, my secret to unconsciously learn from the past and keep that intention, unconscious intention, create an empowering and confident present, and then create the future.

Each of these three steps has two specialized hypnosis processes and a video for each one, making the full six steps to your supreme inner confidence. But the final piece of the puzzle, you have a choice, your responsibility. You can join me in this unique program and let me guide you to rediscover your supreme inner confidence, high self-esteem, and ultimately your freedom.

So let's remind ourselves, who's this for? If you've finally had enough, you're saying to yourself, I'm prepared to do and have whatever it takes. This feels right. And you see it's the right thing to do.

It's finally time to take action and reclaim your confidence, your self-esteem, and to be the real you. If that's you, hey, come and join me on this supreme inner confidence program. You have nothing to lose, but your low self-esteem and unconfidence.

There's a 30-day money back guarantee. That's it. Come and join me.

Paul Clough. We'll have fun and regain that supreme inner confidence.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

My Puzzle Book Asked Me One Question Who the f*ck am I?

That was the question that suddenly popped into my head while I was sitting with my puzzle book. Not what do I do?, not what's my job?, not what role am I playing? — but who am I underneath all of that?

It got me thinking about identity, behaviour, the different versions of ourselves we move through in life, and whether we sometimes mistake what we do for who we are.

My puzzle book has become a simple way for me to explore these questions, especially when I'm trying to find my way through change. I write down a question, let it sit, and sometimes the answer appears when I'm not even consciously looking for it.

And this one opened up a whole new conversation about identity, Superman, Spider-Man, the Hulk… and where all that took me.

This is the seed. The longer, deeper dive takes the conversation much further.

What if you stopped asking "What do I do?" and started asking "Who the f*ck am I?"

or as the deeper dive goes in search of, "You're Not Who You Think You Are"

Come and explore it with me and share what you learn; pay it forward https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-539-my-puzzle-book-asked-me-one-question

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected].

Subscribe to the Podcast

Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You

For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks

Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me

Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms

Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

So, an interesting title to this 5 minute quickie Who the fuck am I? Or, you could say Conversations with my puzzle book Yeah, either will do Maybe the second one's... No, it's just me But anyway, I wasn't going to do this so quickly, but Last evening I was just sitting down with my puzzle book I'll explain what that really is, but I was sitting down with my puzzle book Just Waiting for something to come along, because I was Trying to get some ideas and then Nothing would come along And then a really interesting question popped Right out of nowhere Have you ever had that, when Something just suddenly pops in Not an aha moment It's just, ooh, where did that come from? And it was that question Who the fuck am I? And it wasn't like, who am I to do this or expect that It was just a question that came into my head So I had a Little think, just sitting there quietly, because the question's here This is my conversation So I started to think about Things like identities, which we've talked about Because you see Sometimes we link identities To what we do, our behaviours Our job And in that way Our identity would change, wouldn't it? Because everything you do, when you do it differently You know, now I'm a parent Now I'm a father Now I'm a this at work And then I'm a this, you know No you're not, they're just things you're doing They're not your identity That's the trouble, you see And we get into this realm of This is me And when you've got all those different identities going round I started to think, well, maybe this is what's coming up Who the fuck am I? But it It didn't seem to be that So I sat there a little bit longer This is like a A one-sided conversation, where nothing is happening I'm sitting there thinking, nothing is happening But then I started to think And recall Now if you've been here Listening to the longer episodes You'll notice that They've changed slightly from the What was, if you go back to the very early episodes They were all process driven How to deal with this, how to do that And now, yes, this process is still within the episodes But they're geared around the episode The content And the content's changed now to To like a sharing A sharing for me, what I'm searching for My difficulties, how I'm getting over them And it's not a diary It's a sharing so we can Both start to consider things And if you think about it, even the last Whether it was the last one or the one before that I'm still finding my way Where I explain how Things are changing in my life And then I started to think, well, maybe that's about my identity So maybe that's where this question's popping up Still finding my way Who the fuck am I? And then I started to To be able to write Write in that puzzle book Now what is a puzzle book? I'll let you know now You see, for me a puzzle book is purely a book A book, it could be a piece of paper It could be a fag packet If one of those is, that's a cigarette packet That's an old English term I shouldn't have said that, yeah, it did, anyway But it's just a book that you can Put your thoughts down Puzzle books, you can puzzle about questions of your life Issues in your life, things that are happening And it's like an anchor, it's an anchor to me Because when I open that and I get my pencil Or pen and I just sit there Things like this come to mind Or I write a question down I want to Discover more about And sometimes I'll do a little bit and leave it And sometimes it's the leaving that is the thing Because it's unanswered or not completed And that buggers up your old unconscious mind Because it likes to finish So it goes away and helps you finish the question So when you come back to your puzzle book You start to get answers And sometimes I deliberately leave it open like that To get an unconscious answer Not in case I'm getting too conscious about this thing And it's a dance between conscious and unconscious So the puzzle book, I really suggest just get a book Because you can always go back to it and you flick through it So a piece of paper is okay But unless you're going to put them together A lovely puzzle book And they're so cheap because they're just a plain book Any size you want So that's a puzzle book I don't have any selling rights on puzzle books No, that was just silly But a puzzle book is a great thing to have But the thing is, while I was sitting there Back to the story, Cloughie This conversation I started to have this conversation with myself About who the fuck am I But the thing is I started to think about something quite random I started to think about Do you know what? Superman Spiderman The Hulk What was all that about? Now, I did explore that a lot more And I think there's a lot more to come So if you want to come with me And have a conversation about my conversation My talks, my conversation with the puzzle book About identity If that's something that's resonated with you now Who the fuck am I? Because it's good to explore Even if you know who you are Sometimes just below the surface There's an even richer source of learnings Where we really get to, let's say, find our way And I'm still searching for mine And I'm going to share the hell out of it with you But if that's something of real interest to you Please come with me on the longer, deeper dive Where we'll do, I think, something really interesting And explore Explore about the bloody Superman, the Spiderman, the Hulk And where it took me I think you'll find it really good And I'm sure I'm going to find a little process or two To put in there So we can really start to To find out who we are Where we feel solid in who we are Where we feel comfortable who we are You know, we're happy with who we are That's something you might want to think about Those questions Am I happy who I am? Do I know who I am? Now maybe it's other people who are giving me my identity Is it my behaviours giving me my identity? And that's not who I am So come with me on a lovely conversation On the next full, longer episode The deeper dive Press that subscribe button so you don't miss it Say that every time, don't know if you do But if you do, press the button And if this has sparked your interest I'm sure you have a friend who has a similar interest So share it with them too And then we can all find who the fuck we are That's what came out in a conversation It's the way I speak to myself in my head And it's done in a joking way I'm not having a pop at me I'm trying to spur myself on I think And it just comes out that way So I hope that hasn't offended you But I'm doing it in a very genuine, loving way If you can do that With a swear word You can, because I did Enjoy, have more fun than you can stand Enjoy every heartbeat as usual And I'll be in your head, in your ears With that longer, deeper dive to follow Enjoy, go fly We all need time to de-stress, don't we? We all need that space Everyone needs space Our own place of personal retreat And going to retreats are great But if you can't, why not have one in your mind? You know, if you don't go to that special place That stress just builds and builds and builds But if you have a place in your mind Where you can go and de-stress Work out problems Think of all the wonderful things That you'll be able to do The wonderful feelings So that's why I've created this program Of four hypnosis tracks To build and be and have Your own inner retreat You can have whatever you like in that inner retreat There can be rooms There can be libraries Healing rooms Different lighting Maybe a fire in the corner A special chair Maybe incense Anything that you choose Some people have a computer That stores all the memories you've ever had That library of everything you've ever read Or everything you ever need to know Maybe a healing room A room where you can just go to And have your own inner healing Or own inner relaxation So what have I done? I've created these four tracks One to build One to extend it Whenever you need to extend it And then to be able to go there For a particular period of time Or even a longer period of time So you've got two tracks of just going And being in that special place Where you can take a problem with you Maybe muse it over in that special place Or you can leave it there Leave it to incubate In your own conscious mind So when you come back You can just have the answers come Or they might just come consciously It's all there for you All you have to do is go to poolclubonline.com forward slash retreat Have a look Give you a nice little video there Just see if it's for you I think it's a lovely little program There's nothing to lose Because there's a 30 day money back guarantee It's a lovely program And I think it was one I wanted to do for myself Because I just thought It's just a wonderful thing to do I love retreats But hey This is your own personal one Have a look Enjoy Warning You are now leaving The unplugged mind Of Paul Clough It's time to fly on your own Be brave my friend Personal Development Unplugged

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

Why Goals Stopped Working For Me — And What I Discovered Instead

I've spent years setting goals, teaching goal setting and helping people turn dreams and desires into something they could actually achieve. And goals are bloody useful. They give us motivation, direction and something to move towards.

But I eventually noticed something: sometimes you reach the goal and still think, "Is that it?"

That was the clue for me.

I realised I had been asking goals to give me things they were never designed to provide — meaning, purpose, direction, peace and a sense of belonging.

So perhaps goals aren't the problem. Perhaps we're expecting too much from them.

In this deeper dive I explore what happened when I started looking beyond goals and towards my own North Star — not as a destination, but as a direction for how I want to live and experience my life.

There's also a simple reflective process to help you explore a goal you've already achieved and discover what you were really hoping it would give you.

Because maybe life isn't about reaching the right destination.

Maybe it's about learning how you want to travel.

And, as I'm discovering for myself, that might be much closer to enjoying every heartbeat.

In this episode

• Why goals are brilliant servants but terrible masters.
• What can happen when achieving a goal still leaves you asking, "Is this it?"
• The difference between achievement and meaningful experience.
• Why my North Star is becoming more about direction than destination.
• A simple process for discovering what you're really looking for through your goals.
• How goals, dreams and desires can become experiences rather than just milestones.

If you've ever achieved something you thought would make you happy, only to find yourself wondering "What's next?", this one's worth a listen.

And if you agree, please share the hell out of it with everyone you know :o)

https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/487-why-goals-stopped-working-for-me

and if you want to see me recording this in an unplugged way https://youtu.be/DAJM7ROz8vk

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected].

Subscribe to the Podcast

Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here.

Special Programs for You

For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com.

Free Hypnosis Tracks

Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast.

Connect with Me

Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

Find Us on Other Platforms

Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page.

Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits

Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall.

And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

So, the longer deeper dive. Why goals stop working for me? Well no, actually, what I discovered instead.

Because this isn't an episode about goals. It's changed. It's changed in a way that it's more about, I don't know, meaning.

There's more meaning to our lives than the structure of goals. And that's what it's all about. You see, there's something that goals can, will, never give us.

If you remember from the five minute quickie, you did watch or listen to the five that precedes this. I said, and I think it was sort of profound, what if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal, but because you're looking for something goals can never, or were never designed to do for you. Yeah.

Now, here's the thing, you're probably thinking, probably thinking, is this guy against goals then? Because what is personal development if it doesn't have an element of it as goal setting, goal achieving, having aims, desires, dreams. And yeah, goals are wonderful. Why are they wonderful? Well, they give you an aim in mind.

What are promises? What do goals promise you? In your head, with that intention of that goal, they give you an outcome, motivation. And this is what I found in my life, is by having goals, they have sometimes, quite often, unexpected items. Because between you and I, you are not intelligent enough, brainy enough to know exactly what you want.

And by the way, nor am I. But when you start working towards a goal, a dream, a desire, something you want, you have that wonderful intention, you have that motivation, you have that feeling inside. Sometimes we just attract or find new doors, new opportunities that just like synchronicity, come along. In fact, when I first started training in NLP, I wanted to do NLP.

And I went to see this guy and he said, no, you can't do NLP. First of all, you have to do hypnosis. I didn't want to do hypnosis, that's not part of my goal.

I want to do NLP to be really, really good at business. But when I got into hypnosis, man, changed my life 26 years ago. And counting, maybe 26 and a half now.

And I love it. It was never on my radar. It was not on the horizon.

It was, it wasn't to be seen. It helped me build businesses, not just the business I wanted to use NLP things for, but the goals helped me build businesses for NLP trainings, hypnosis clinics, doing coaching sessions, going around different countries and training people in trauma therapy. Man, if it didn't have a goal for one of those, and the options and the synchronicity, I wouldn't have done any of that.

Goals have helped me learn, I've learned so much. Because you don't realize when you have a goal, what you are going to learn, the experiences you have, the things you're going to take with you into the next one. It's that skill stacking, isn't it? And there's also that bit when you're down, when you're in a bad time, like I was.

If I didn't have a goal, certainly a goal to get out of it. But also mini goals within that period to help me find a way out, give me the leg up, give me the hand holes to climb out of that hole. I'd still be there now.

Or maybe not even be here in this planet Earth. So they really help you overcome difficult periods in your life. So when you think about it, goals are brilliant servants.

That's what they are. They're brilliant servants. But there's a but, and they don't normally use buts, but they are.

But they are terrible masters. And that's what you've got to think of. Servants, don't let them master your life, because that's what I discovered instead.

So the title says goals stopped working for me, they didn't. But I did discover something even deeper beyond goals. You see, sometimes when I've set goals in the past, and it does happen quite a bit sometimes, I hear that small voice.

That small voice which says, is that it? Set the goal, I've done the work, come out at that end, the ending of the goal. And even if the words didn't come as words, that's the feeling I got. Is this it? Is that all there is? Think about that.

Maybe you can think of examples in your life. You know, even think of the little goals like buyer's remorse. We've all had buying something we've wanted for ages.

And when we got it, is that it? When we've got promoted in that job, we've strived and strived and strived, striven. Is this all there is? Maybe you think, when I lose weight, I'm gonna have all that confidence. Do you? Sometimes, when you finish a project, and I've had this, there's a lot of my goals were projects.

And it's that strange emptiness. You know, it's now what? Because the chase has ended, hasn't it? The chase has ended. But the thing is, again, I've had some good goals, by the way.

And I still have that feeling sometimes, is that it? Unless I've, I realised it's a progression. The goal is not necessarily the singular destination. But the thing is, I discovered this.

I'd been asking the goals, the goals in my life to do a job they were never designed to do. So what am I really asking them? You see, a little bit of vulnerability here. I want to say just lately, but it's been a good six, nine months, even.

I think I started this additional work on myself, call it additional, but new work on myself. Because things were changing in my life. Different structures, we've talked about structures and freedom and all this stuff, all come through this path I'm beginning to tread.

And I've been seeing my life changing. And they're changing as if there's no goals. But there's, even there was a few goals.

I was just trying too hard. And things weren't gelling for me. You know, the now what? Is this all there is? So instead of asking those goals to do a job for me, maybe I was looking for something different.

And this is what I was looking for. And you might get this. What I was really asking was to find purpose, to find direction, to find meaning, peace.

That was a big one. And belonging. Because things changing in your lives, these things allow you to bring things together.

You see, goals can can produce achievements. But they can't produce things on their own. It comes how you live your life while you're pursuing them.

Yeah. Have a think about that. Remember, life changes as you change.

So I want to think of something. You see, I call this my North Star work. Because I was looking for a new direction.

I had to find a new direction. The direction I was on the path I was on was closing. Because that's what happens, isn't it? And goals didn't give me that.

But I got direction started looking for direction. Because what I found was goals tell you when you arrive there. But I felt this North Star was telling me how to travel.

It's different, isn't it? How to travel, how to enjoy life, as you go along, a rich life. So if it's okay, just for a moment, I wonder if you could take a bit of time to consider this. If you can find a bit of space, if you can, somewhere where you'll be undisturbed, just so you can think for a little while.

So you can consider what I'd like you to think about is I'll just get comfortable first. However comfortable is for you. Just take a deep breath and allow that breath to create a comfort inside you and feel it.

Give yourself permission to feel comfortable, to feel good. Maybe to feel curious what you might learn. And I'd like you, in fact, I'm going to invite you to think of a goal that you've already achieved.

And I'd like you as you bring that to mind. Maybe ask this question. What did I hope this goal would give me? Because I think we forget that, don't we? What did I hope this goal would? And just let that, just muse and notice what bubbles up.

And if it bubbles up right now, that's awesome. It might bubble up later when you have a bit more time. Or unexpectedly, your unconscious mind might just bring these answers to mind.

But if you could, just ask your unconscious mind to help you here. What did I hope this goal would give me? And if it did, how long did that feeling last? Because we seem to think sometimes they last for a long, long time. But really, how long did that feeling? Just acknowledge it.

We're learning. We're not changing anything. But think of this as you bring that goal that you've already achieved back into mind again.

What was it? What were you really looking for? Ask yourself the question. What was I looking for through this goal? And notice what happens. Notice maybe you get it intuitively.

Just a feeling, an understanding. Or maybe you get words. Maybe you get a real piece of learning.

Because it's all going to make sense. And then ask, what if that goal disappeared tomorrow? What qualities would still matter? Yeah, because these type of questions, well, that's where you, I, we begin to find our North Star, our direction, the path. That includes goals, yes.

But it's a path, the direction that we tread, or the path that we tread, the direction that we go. And for me now, again, this is me sharing, that terminal star is changing for me. It's evolving.

At the moment, it's slowly changing to something like my life, my life's architecture, something I'm creating. Yeah. So I just allow all that to sink in.

And open your eyes. Maybe just check in. How do you feel now? What have you learned? Maybe if you had your puzzle book, you know, that book that we, well, that's my puzzle book, isn't it? That I would just open.

And maybe write these down. Think of a goal. What did I hope this goal would give me? How long did that feeling last? And what was I really looking for? And then if that goal disappeared tomorrow, what qualities would still remain? Because that North Star, that life's architecture is in some way a goal, isn't it? Everything's a goal.

But now it's more of a direction. And I'll be achieving dreams along the way. You see, I'm, and I'm hoping to, inspire you to move a little bit away from slowly achievements, but moving towards experiencing life, the experience.

And that's why I say enjoy every heartbeat. Because that isn't about arriving, is it? It's about living. And that's where I, I believe I'm quietly heading.

I think you'll notice, or would have noticed in the last, maybe four or five longer podcasts. It's all about direction. Yes, there's processes.

Processes will never leave me because that's what I'm so used to. That's what I love doing. That's how I love helping people using the processes to help now find direction.

Sometimes we do have those things that call it a blockage, get in our way. The emotional baggage that sometimes is pushing us off path or holding us back. I'll still be doing those as I go through these episodes.

But I really want to think about these as not a do to, but a come with. As I share my experiences, I'd love you to share yours with me. You know, my email address, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. I love your reaction to this, your thoughts.

Maybe as you think about your North Star, your life's architecture, what would you like to design in there? What would you like to experience along the way? As you have those wonderful goals, dreams and desires, but as experiences, not milestones. I think it's a nice way to look at life now. And that's the way I'm changing my philosophy inside here in my head.

And I find it so much more comforting, so much less stressful. Yes, I'll be working on goals. I have projects that I want to do.

But I'm now looking to them as a real want to, not a have to. Now, is it creating a better experience for me? And what will the outcome be? How can I share it? So you'll see that in future episodes too. So I don't know where we got with this.

I hope, as always, it makes perfect sense. Well, not perfect, but makes sense. I hope where it doesn't make sense, it's got your thinking.

It's even doing this, this, you know, I've been thinking about it. I've been, this is part of my life. And as I share it, it's getting me to think again.

It's like my auditory journal. So maybe you could think of that too. How can you really get into the process and not spending your whole life doing it because it isn't it.

We want to design the experience and then live the experience. As I say, enjoy every heartbeat. Have a think, have a think.

Now, I know I say this every time. I'd love you to share this episode. Now, I'm a big boy.

I see the algorithms or the results I get. The analytics, that's what I was looking for. They don't show a lot of sharing.

But if you could, in this changing world, where I believe we need these types of experiences to create a wonderful life in us first, taking responsibility to look after us first, you first, then others, and then little old planet earth. And as they all come together, we'll do something good. So please do share this.

If you could just to one person, show me my little analytics, a little blip of good. Yeah. I've seen some movement.

And more people get this. I think. Well, you'll feel good.

And they'll feel good. I hope they feel good. They would.

Because they're like minded people like you like me. And with that, let's just see what happens. So go enjoy every heartbeat.

Maybe wonder if I was to talk to your unconscious mind right now. While you're not listening. And ask, what would it be like if you were to surprise them with feeling happy for no reason? I wonder what that would be like? And how would that spread through the rest of their body, their life that day? There you go.

That's me done. Time to have a little rest, a little getting into my life's architecture, and have a great time. Enjoy and go fly.

Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend.

Personal development unplugged.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

Why Goals Stopped Working For Me

We all need goals. They give us direction, motivation and something to aim for. I've spent years teaching goal setting, visualisation, Timeline Therapy and even a little Law of Attraction. Goals work... but I discovered they weren't the whole story.

A while ago something felt off. I was achieving what I'd set out to do, yet there was still a quiet feeling that something was missing. It wasn't about fear of failure or limiting beliefs. It was something much deeper.

In this Five Minute Quickie I share the beginning of that discovery and ask a question that completely changed the way I now think about success and fulfilment.

What if you don't need another goal?

What if you're asking goals to give you something they were never designed to provide?

In the next longer episode I'll share what I discovered, how it changed my direction, and why it became such an important part of my own personal development journey.

If you've ever reached a goal and still wondered, "Is this really it?" then this episode is for you.

In this episode you'll discover:

• Why achieving goals doesn't always create fulfilment.
• The hidden feeling many people experience after reaching success.
• The question that changed my thinking.
• Why the deeper answer isn't another goal.
• A preview of the next Deep Dive episode.

Subscribe so you don't miss the next episode where we'll explore what I found instead.

And share with a friend or two so they don't miss out too: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-538-why-goals-stopped-working-for-me

And if you want to see me recording this https://youtu.be/wMVSjF8Hthk

Shine Brightly 🌟

Paul

Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected].

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Special Programs for You

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Connect with Me

Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie

Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure.

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Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨

Music Credits

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And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism

FMQ Why Goals Stopped Working For Me

I want to share something personal with you. A little while ago, a little while ago, something felt off. Something just didn't feel right in my life.

The thing is, what I'm trying to say is, I want to rewind that slightly because we all need goals in our life, don't we? Aims, desires, even dreams. We need them all, don't we? And don't get me wrong, this is not a goal setting workshop or anything like that at all. You see, for years, I used to have loads of goals, dreams, visualisations, you name it, I had them.

I even taught goal setting. I taught putting goals in the future. I did it with my clients.

Timeline therapy. I even did a little bit of the law of attraction because they're all intertwined, aren't they? And they do all have a purpose, but, and it's the but, I felt something was missing. You know, getting goals helped me.

Yeah, yeah, they did. They helped motivate me. They felt good for a time.

But after a while, say a little while ago, I wasn't truly fulfilled. You know, getting the goals is one thing, but it just didn't, well, I don't, it just didn't make me feel right. There was something missing.

I didn't know what it was. Well, not then. Does that resonate with you a little bit? Can you remember? Well, I'll explain the feeling I had.

And maybe you, it'll resonate with you. Maybe you can remember the type of feelings that you've had. I just felt hollow inside.

Yeah, I was pleased with what I was doing. But again, it was just there was something maybe out of reach. Something, you know, I said unfulfilling, but I could look back over my life and say, Yeah, you've had a fulfilling life, Cloughie.

Yeah, there's ups and downs and some big downs. And yes, big ups. But really, I couldn't put my hand on it.

I couldn't grasp what was missing. Not then. Sometimes by the vision I was looking through my eyes in internally, I guess, was a bit blurred.

Because I couldn't quite see the direction I wanted to go in. Something was missing. It really was.

Now, I know, sometimes we can put that to things like fear of success, fear of failure. You've even got things like, I'm not good enough, all those limiting beliefs, you know, I shouldn't be here. What if they find me out? And we can deal with those.

And we will deal with those. You see, there are things that prevent us having goals, getting our dreams, getting that getting our desires. And I've got 60 plus hypnosis tracks for you completely free.

Well, complimentary is a better way of saying it. Just go to paulcluffonline.com forward slash podcast and have what you like. And if there's anything that you require help in, in achieving your goals, or something is stopping you and you want to let go of the block, you get in touch with me.

Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and we'll sort out things for you. That's my email address, by the way. Just let me know.

But that's not what I'm talking about, really, because we can get the goals, but I was getting my goals. But that unfulfilled feeling. It's a little bit like getting somewhere and going, is that it? Is that all there is? And even started affecting me in looking at my life.

Is that all there is here? And what's next? Because I can keep doing the same thing over again, but will it change this feeling? And you see that even affects our beliefs, isn't it? We've got those limiting beliefs, even on those goals. But you know, that unfulfilled feeling begins to give you limiting beliefs. And a bit like, is that all there is? What's is it worth it? And then about yourself? Maybe I'm not good enough.

Maybe I'll just get it wrong. Maybe I'm a failure. And then the values that we hold so dearly sometimes start to get just rocked a little bit.

And that ultimately affects our identity, the identity that we we believe we have. But, and this is the but, so that was pretty down. But this is the but.

What if? What that lovely question? What if? What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? Oh, that's different, isn't it? I'll say that again. With that wonderful question. What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? But because you're looking for something goals were never designed to do? Have a think about that for the moment.

I'm going to give you a little bit of time to think about it anyway. Because on the deeper dive, the next episode, I'll tell you what I discovered instead, because I found the answer. And I'll take you through my personal journey, my adventure of of what happened.

And I'll share with you, hopefully the things that get you thinking that, yeah, I can have that too. That resonates with me. I'll come along with Cloughie.

Because this is a personal sharing. And I hope you hope it helps. Because you know, I want to support you in your dreams, your goals, your desires.

And all the things that maybe stop you getting them and all that. The process is stuff. But there's also the deeper thing, the deeper thing that I discovered.

I think it'll make a huge difference. So do press that subscribe button, follow button. So when then it'll be next week, the next episode, when the next episode, the deeper dive, the hashtag, deeper dive comes along, it'll come on your listening device, just like that, without you thinking.

And then we can have a wonderful conversation together. Because this is what these are all about now, having a conversation and sharing of things I've learned along the way. And hopefully, it'll save you having to go through what I've gone through.

So I'll see you next time on the deeper dive, or just have a think. I'll just repeat that question one more time. What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? It's because you're looking for something goals were never designed to do.

That's deep, isn't it? Have a good think of that. And I'll see you next time. Bye bye.

Time to fly my friend. Enjoy every heartbeat.

Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited

Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]