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   Number 1: #487 Why Goals Stopped Working For Me

   Why Goals Stopped Working For Me — And What I Discovered Instead I've spent years setting goals, teaching goal setting and helping people turn dreams and desires into something they could actually achieve. And goals are bloody useful. They give us motivation, direction and something to move towards. But I eventually noticed something: sometimes you reach the goal and still think, "Is that it?" That was the clue for me. I realised I had been asking goals to give me things they were never designed to provide — meaning, purpose, direction, peace and a sense of belonging. So perhaps goals aren't the problem. Perhaps we're expecting too much from them. In this deeper dive I explore what happened when I started looking beyond goals and towards my own North Star — not as a destination, but as a direction for how I want to live and experience my life. There's also a simple reflective process to help you explore a goal you've already achieved and discover what you were really hoping it would give you. Because maybe life isn't about reaching the right destination. Maybe it's about learning how you want to travel. And, as I'm discovering for myself, that might be much closer to enjoying every heartbeat. In this episode Why goals are brilliant servants but terrible masters. What can happen when achieving a goal still leaves you asking, "Is this it?" The difference between achievement and meaningful experience. Why my North Star is becoming more about direction than destination. A simple process for discovering what you're really looking for through your goals. How goals, dreams and desires can become experiences rather than just milestones. If you've ever achieved something you thought would make you happy, only to find yourself wondering "What's next?", this one's worth a listen. And if you agree, please share the hell out of it with everyone you know :o) https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/487-why-goals-stopped-working-for-me and if you want to see me recording this in an unplugged way https://youtu.be/DAJM7ROz8vk Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism So, the longer deeper dive. Why goals stop working for me? Well no, actually, what I discovered instead. Because this isn't an episode about goals. It's changed. It's changed in a way that it's more about, I don't know, meaning. There's more meaning to our lives than the structure of goals. And that's what it's all about. You see, there's something that goals can, will, never give us. If you remember from the five minute quickie, you did watch or listen to the five that precedes this. I said, and I think it was sort of profound, what if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal, but because you're looking for something goals can never, or were never designed to do for you. Yeah. Now, here's the thing, you're probably thinking, probably thinking, is this guy against goals then? Because what is personal development if it doesn't have an element of it as goal setting, goal achieving, having aims, desires, dreams. And yeah, goals are wonderful. Why are they wonderful? Well, they give you an aim in mind. What are promises? What do goals promise you? In your head, with that intention of that goal, they give you an outcome, motivation. And this is what I found in my life, is by having goals, they have sometimes, quite often, unexpected items. Because between you and I, you are not intelligent enough, brainy enough to know exactly what you want. And by the way, nor am I. But when you start working towards a goal, a dream, a desire, something you want, you have that wonderful intention, you have that motivation, you have that feeling inside. Sometimes we just attract or find new doors, new opportunities that just like synchronicity, come along. In fact, when I first started training in NLP, I wanted to do NLP. And I went to see this guy and he said, no, you can't do NLP. First of all, you have to do hypnosis. I didn't want to do hypnosis, that's not part of my goal. I want to do NLP to be really, really good at business. But when I got into hypnosis, man, changed my life 26 years ago. And counting, maybe 26 and a half now. And I love it. It was never on my radar. It was not on the horizon. It was, it wasn't to be seen. It helped me build businesses, not just the business I wanted to use NLP things for, but the goals helped me build businesses for NLP trainings, hypnosis clinics, doing coaching sessions, going around different countries and training people in trauma therapy. Man, if it didn't have a goal for one of those, and the options and the synchronicity, I wouldn't have done any of that. Goals have helped me learn, I've learned so much. Because you don't realize when you have a goal, what you are going to learn, the experiences you have, the things you're going to take with you into the next one. It's that skill stacking, isn't it? And there's also that bit when you're down, when you're in a bad time, like I was. If I didn't have a goal, certainly a goal to get out of it. But also mini goals within that period to help me find a way out, give me the leg up, give me the hand holes to climb out of that hole. I'd still be there now. Or maybe not even be here in this planet Earth. So they really help you overcome difficult periods in your life. So when you think about it, goals are brilliant servants. That's what they are. They're brilliant servants. But there's a but, and they don't normally use buts, but they are. But they are terrible masters. And that's what you've got to think of. Servants, don't let them master your life, because that's what I discovered instead. So the title says goals stopped working for me, they didn't. But I did discover something even deeper beyond goals. You see, sometimes when I've set goals in the past, and it does happen quite a bit sometimes, I hear that small voice. That small voice which says, is that it? Set the goal, I've done the work, come out at that end, the ending of the goal. And even if the words didn't come as words, that's the feeling I got. Is this it? Is that all there is? Think about that. Maybe you can think of examples in your life. You know, even think of the little goals like buyer's remorse. We've all had buying something we've wanted for ages. And when we got it, is that it? When we've got promoted in that job, we've strived and strived and strived, striven. Is this all there is? Maybe you think, when I lose weight, I'm gonna have all that confidence. Do you? Sometimes, when you finish a project, and I've had this, there's a lot of my goals were projects. And it's that strange emptiness. You know, it's now what? Because the chase has ended, hasn't it? The chase has ended. But the thing is, again, I've had some good goals, by the way. And I still have that feeling sometimes, is that it? Unless I've, I realised it's a progression. The goal is not necessarily the singular destination. But the thing is, I discovered this. I'd been asking the goals, the goals in my life to do a job they were never designed to do. So what am I really asking them? You see, a little bit of vulnerability here. I want to say just lately, but it's been a good six, nine months, even. I think I started this additional work on myself, call it additional, but new work on myself. Because things were changing in my life. Different structures, we've talked about structures and freedom and all this stuff, all come through this path I'm beginning to tread. And I've been seeing my life changing. And they're changing as if there's no goals. But there's, even there was a few goals. I was just trying too hard. And things weren't gelling for me. You know, the now what? Is this all there is? So instead of asking those goals to do a job for me, maybe I was looking for something different. And this is what I was looking for. And you might get this. What I was really asking was to find purpose, to find direction, to find meaning, peace. That was a big one. And belonging. Because things changing in your lives, these things allow you to bring things together. You see, goals can can produce achievements. But they can't produce things on their own. It comes how you live your life while you're pursuing them. Yeah. Have a think about that. Remember, life changes as you change. So I want to think of something. You see, I call this my North Star work. Because I was looking for a new direction. I had to find a new direction. The direction I was on the path I was on was closing. Because that's what happens, isn't it? And goals didn't give me that. But I got direction started looking for direction. Because what I found was goals tell you when you arrive there. But I felt this North Star was telling me how to travel. It's different, isn't it? How to travel, how to enjoy life, as you go along, a rich life. So if it's okay, just for a moment, I wonder if you could take a bit of time to consider this. If you can find a bit of space, if you can, somewhere where you'll be undisturbed, just so you can think for a little while. So you can consider what I'd like you to think about is I'll just get comfortable first. However comfortable is for you. Just take a deep breath and allow that breath to create a comfort inside you and feel it. Give yourself permission to feel comfortable, to feel good. Maybe to feel curious what you might learn. And I'd like you, in fact, I'm going to invite you to think of a goal that you've already achieved. And I'd like you as you bring that to mind. Maybe ask this question. What did I hope this goal would give me? Because I think we forget that, don't we? What did I hope this goal would? And just let that, just muse and notice what bubbles up. And if it bubbles up right now, that's awesome. It might bubble up later when you have a bit more time. Or unexpectedly, your unconscious mind might just bring these answers to mind. But if you could, just ask your unconscious mind to help you here. What did I hope this goal would give me? And if it did, how long did that feeling last? Because we seem to think sometimes they last for a long, long time. But really, how long did that feeling? Just acknowledge it. We're learning. We're not changing anything. But think of this as you bring that goal that you've already achieved back into mind again. What was it? What were you really looking for? Ask yourself the question. What was I looking for through this goal? And notice what happens. Notice maybe you get it intuitively. Just a feeling, an understanding. Or maybe you get words. Maybe you get a real piece of learning. Because it's all going to make sense. And then ask, what if that goal disappeared tomorrow? What qualities would still matter? Yeah, because these type of questions, well, that's where you, I, we begin to find our North Star, our direction, the path. That includes goals, yes. But it's a path, the direction that we tread, or the path that we tread, the direction that we go. And for me now, again, this is me sharing, that terminal star is changing for me. It's evolving. At the moment, it's slowly changing to something like my life, my life's architecture, something I'm creating. Yeah. So I just allow all that to sink in. And open your eyes. Maybe just check in. How do you feel now? What have you learned? Maybe if you had your puzzle book, you know, that book that we, well, that's my puzzle book, isn't it? That I would just open. And maybe write these down. Think of a goal. What did I hope this goal would give me? How long did that feeling last? And what was I really looking for? And then if that goal disappeared tomorrow, what qualities would still remain? Because that North Star, that life's architecture is in some way a goal, isn't it? Everything's a goal. But now it's more of a direction. And I'll be achieving dreams along the way. You see, I'm, and I'm hoping to, inspire you to move a little bit away from slowly achievements, but moving towards experiencing life, the experience. And that's why I say enjoy every heartbeat. Because that isn't about arriving, is it? It's about living. And that's where I, I believe I'm quietly heading. I think you'll notice, or would have noticed in the last, maybe four or five longer podcasts. It's all about direction. Yes, there's processes. Processes will never leave me because that's what I'm so used to. That's what I love doing. That's how I love helping people using the processes to help now find direction. Sometimes we do have those things that call it a blockage, get in our way. The emotional baggage that sometimes is pushing us off path or holding us back. I'll still be doing those as I go through these episodes. But I really want to think about these as not a do to, but a come with. As I share my experiences, I'd love you to share yours with me. You know, my email address, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. I love your reaction to this, your thoughts. Maybe as you think about your North Star, your life's architecture, what would you like to design in there? What would you like to experience along the way? As you have those wonderful goals, dreams and desires, but as experiences, not milestones. I think it's a nice way to look at life now. And that's the way I'm changing my philosophy inside here in my head. And I find it so much more comforting, so much less stressful. Yes, I'll be working on goals. I have projects that I want to do. But I'm now looking to them as a real want to, not a have to. Now, is it creating a better experience for me? And what will the outcome be? How can I share it? So you'll see that in future episodes too. So I don't know where we got with this. I hope, as always, it makes perfect sense. Well, not perfect, but makes sense. I hope where it doesn't make sense, it's got your thinking. It's even doing this, this, you know, I've been thinking about it. I've been, this is part of my life. And as I share it, it's getting me to think again. It's like my auditory journal. So maybe you could think of that too. How can you really get into the process and not spending your whole life doing it because it isn't it. We want to design the experience and then live the experience. As I say, enjoy every heartbeat. Have a think, have a think. Now, I know I say this every time. I'd love you to share this episode. Now, I'm a big boy. I see the algorithms or the results I get. The analytics, that's what I was looking for. They don't show a lot of sharing. But if you could, in this changing world, where I believe we need these types of experiences to create a wonderful life in us first, taking responsibility to look after us first, you first, then others, and then little old planet earth. And as they all come together, we'll do something good. So please do share this. If you could just to one person, show me my little analytics, a little blip of good. Yeah. I've seen some movement. And more people get this. I think. Well, you'll feel good. And they'll feel good. I hope they feel good. They would. Because they're like minded people like you like me. And with that, let's just see what happens. So go enjoy every heartbeat. Maybe wonder if I was to talk to your unconscious mind right now. While you're not listening. And ask, what would it be like if you were to surprise them with feeling happy for no reason? I wonder what that would be like? And how would that spread through the rest of their body, their life that day? There you go. That's me done. Time to have a little rest, a little getting into my life's architecture, and have a great time. Enjoy and go fly. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal development unplugged. Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

   August 14, 2026·22min
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   Number 2: FMQ527 Empathy Sucks!

   Empathy Sucks (Unless It's With Yourself) I said it. Empathy sucks. Now before you unsubscribe and send me a strongly worded email… hear me out. In this episode I'm diving deep into something that most people believe is a virtue — feeling other people's pain. And yes, empathy can be beautiful. But if all you do is absorb the emotions of others, carry their struggles, and ignore your own… that's not kindness. That's self-neglect. Here's what I explore in this episode: Why absorbing other people's pain drains your emotional energy How empathy can become a way of avoiding your own feelings Why suppressed emotions don't disappear — they generalise The difference between empathy and compassion (and why it matters) How to process your own emotions so they stop running your life Simple processes to turn emotional overwhelm into emotional strength I truly believe this: If you deal with your stuff first, you help people better. When you stop hiding from your own emotions and learn from them instead, something shifts. You become grounded. Present. Powerful. And far more able to support others without drowning in their experience. This episode includes practical processes to: Work with difficult emotions Discover the positive intention behind them Stop suppressing and start learning Shift from emotional sponge to compassionate supporter Because compassion sustains. Empathy without boundaries drains. And if you're going to feel deeply… start by feeling for yourself. This Episode Is For You If: You feel emotionally drained by other people You often absorb the moods of those around you You struggle to process your own emotions You consider yourself "an empath" but feel overwhelmed You want stronger emotional resilience You want to help others without losing yourself A Simple Practice From This Episode Before helping someone else this week, ask yourself: "Am I grounded… or am I hiding?" Then sit with one emotion of your own. Ask: What are you trying to teach me? What are you protecting me from? What can I learn from you? Learn the lesson. And watch what shifts. Share The Love If this episode resonated with you: Subscribe Share it with someone who gives too much of themselves https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq527-empathy-sucks-unless-its-with-yourself Leave a review Let's help more people become emotionally strong instead of emotionally overloaded. And as always… Have more fun than you can stand. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, welcome to the five minute quickie, the seed that I sow for a longer podcast. And hopefully you'll find if you, if you have an issue, by the way, if you have an issue and they're not, not directly talked about in the episodes, I think you'll find that I've made, made them in a way that if you concentrate on your issue and set your intention to learn about your issue and how to let it go with every episode, you'll find that they're, they're ambiguously linked. I'll say that again, ambiguously linked. Done it in a way that you can really use these for so many issues. In fact, you can have any issue you like as many as you like, but pick one and have a listen and you'll find that it will help. That's my plan anyway. And today we've got another seed and it's about one of the banes of life. And what is it? Bloody empathy. Empathy because it bloody sucks. Now, title is something different. You have to read the title, but you know, why do I say empathy sucks? I've said it for a long time is that if all you do is feel the pain of others, then, you know, it just adds to yours, doesn't it? It adds to your pain. The people who just dump on you. And I don't mean it in a nasty way. They're not doing it consciously. Well, maybe some people are, but most people do it unconsciously. They offload, don't they? They offload their pain. And because you're empathetic and you think it's a good thing to do, you feel their pain, you take their pain, you live with their pain and you add it to yours. And that's why I think it sucks. But I also think being empathetic does have a sort of positive intention because it hides you away from your pain. Get it? Hides it away from your pain. Now, you have to think about that for a little while. Because you can say, no, no, no, no, no. This is really good that I'm helping somebody. But you're not concentrating on yourself. You're not setting an intention to deal with your stuff first, because if you deal with your stuff first, you will help people a lot better. You will. And I think sometimes when you're in that way of being empathetic and you're hiding things from yourself, you're hiding that emotion from yourself and what it's trying to do for you. Because everything has an intention. Every emotion you have is here for a reason, negative or positive. You're learning. Or you could and should learn from them. And when you learn from the negatives, they just disappear. But here's the thing. I know it's a form of safety. But when you're not dealing with yourself first, then there's a little bit of a clash, isn't there? And we need to do that. Because it's not really safety, is it? If you're not dealing with yourself, how safe are you? Well, you're not really. You're hiding again. I say hiding. So what are we going to do? You see, one of the reasons we push negative emotions away is because they're painful. They're bloody painful. We push them away. We suppress them. We repress them. And what happens? The more you push, those emotions push back. And they don't only push back in the context that they were created in. They generalise, they generalise into different areas of your life. And what happens then is, well, unless you're prepared to learn from them and deal with them, they just get worse, bigger, stronger and in more areas of your life, which is a real shit. And you can deal with it. You really can. Now you've got, as I said, loads of other episodes, but this particular longer episode coming next is to deal with this thing called empathy, but dealing with it in the right way. If you're going to be empathetic, be bloody empathetic to yourself. So what can we do about it? These emotions that you're ignoring, you're trying to hide, you're pushing away, you're suppressing, repressing more than we've said it all before. What can you do about it? Well, I've got a plan, a plan and maybe a couple of processes that I'm going to put into the longer episode, because that's what we need to do. And the thing is, these processes, guess what they are? They are simple. And what does simple do? In simplicity, there is genius. Because it's easy to do. It's easy to follow. Sometimes it's a little bit hard because it takes effort. That's the only only hardship. You have to take effort. You have to set your intention. I'm going to do this. I'm going to find the learnings because this part of me is making me feel this emotion that I'm trying to push away. But if I if I work with it and learn from it, it will disappear and I'll be a better person for it. So that's where we're going on the deeper, deeper, that's where we're going on the longer episode with a deeper dive. And just in case you don't agree with me, and that's fine. It's just my opinion, my thoughts. If you don't agree with me that empathy sucks, that's just a belief. And I think it's a limiting belief because I'll show you why when we deal with it. Because I think if you really want to help people, change your empathy into being compassionate. Compassion. That's where you really get to help people. You can be there for them, support them. You don't have to feel the pain to know they're in pain. But you can use all your compassion to support them. And that feels bloody good. Oh, there is one other thing before we go, where empathy doesn't suck. Even though I said it does suck. There's one place where it doesn't suck. Because feeling other people's emotions can be when they're feeling joy, feeling happy, when they're celebrating, you go feel that celebration, you go feel the happiness, you go feel that joy, support them in that way. Oh, we're being compassionate again, because we're meeting them with that wonderful feeling again. And we're just, well, that's what we're going to do. We're going to be there, we're going to be for them. But more importantly, you have to be compassionate with yourself, you have to be more empathetic with yourself. And that's where we're going. Long way around. But I think you'll enjoy it. Even though it seems a bit weird, come and play. Come and sit down for a change, maybe for a spell, all that magical stuff. And let's just see where it goes. Because you might find it just really gels to set your intention when you come with me on the longer podcast. I want to learn from this. What can I learn from this? And I guarantee you when you say that to yourself, with a pure, honest intention, you will learn something big. Come with me on the longer podcast, comes out next week. I have more fun than you can stand. Okay, see you soon. Bye bye now, go fly. So before you leave this unplugged mind of mine, this hypnotic mind, if you enjoyed this podcast or any of the other podcasts, please do subscribe. It helps this podcast grow and affect so many more people. And we love to leave everyone in a better place than we found them. And this will help help the podcast, it will help you and it will help everyone that you know. So if you just subscribe and share, share this podcast to everyone you know. That's the only cost, pay it forward to everyone. And when you do that, boom, we are all going to make a difference to this little old planet Earth of ours, and the people in it. Let's make a good world, a nice world. Okay, okay, you can now prepare to leave this unplugged mind. Warning, you are now leaving the unplugged mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly. Be brave, my friend. Personal Development Unplugged Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

   March 06, 2026·11min
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   Number 3: Here's A new Hypnosis track from #475.1 Creating The Life You Haven't Lived Yet

   HYPNOSIS Creating The Life You Haven't Lived - Yet I thought it would be nice to take the process from the longer podcast and remix it to a deeper and even more comfortable way to connect with your Unconscious mind and sow the seeds of what you dream of for you in the future. So please enjoy with my compliments And........ Let me know what you need now to ensure they happen bigger, better and quicker than you could imagine :o) Get your unique link here: https://paulcloughonline.com/podcast Oh! You will also find a further 65+ more complimentary deep hypnosis tracks and NLP processes Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

   March 01, 2026·4min
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   Number 4: #475 Creating The Life You Haven't Lived Yet

   Creating The Life You Haven't Lived Yet In the last FMQ, I talked about the idea that there's a book inside you. In this episode, I take that idea further. Because here's what I truly believe… You're already writing your life. One page at a time. One day at a time. The question is — are you writing it consciously? In this episode I guide you through a creative visualisation process that helps you: Step out of "life just happening" Stop letting other people write your chapters Feel your future before it physically exists Align your unconscious mind with what you truly want Take one small, powerful step forward This isn't about pretending the past didn't happen. It's about deciding what happens next. And you don't have to be 100% ready. You just have to start. What We Do Together In This Episode I guide you into a relaxed, curious state. You sit at a desk. There's a book in front of you called: My Life, My Adventure. The past chapters are written. You acknowledge them. You thank them. And then… You begin writing the next chapter. Not perfectly. Not dramatically. Just intentionally. You float outside yourself. You see yourself writing. You feel support from the people who care about you. You see yourself through loving eyes. And then you ask one powerful question: What small step can I take now? Because the magic isn't in dreaming. It's in deciding. What I Want You To Take From This You are not stuck. You are not finished. You are not defined by previous chapters. Responsibility is not blame — it's power. Your future starts now. And remember… Even if you do nothing differently today — you're still writing a page. So why not write it on purpose? If This Resonates Subscribe. Share this with someone who needs it. https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/475-creating-the-life-you-havent-lived-yet And take one small step. Have more fun than you can stand. Wallow in pleasure. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, so welcome back. It's Longer Dive, creating the life you haven't, you haven't lived yet. And there's a few things that surround what I'm going to be talking about. It's like my intention and a few observations I've made about the subject. And looking as if you were looking down on this subject, my thoughts were, this starts now. It starts right now. And you don't have to be ready, by the way, you don't have to be ready. You just have to start now. And what I want to tell you is, you know, this is your choice. Of course, it's your choice. But you get the right to choose. And the thing is, I believe in you. I believe in you. I want to support you in this. Yeah, bit hammy, isn't it? But that's what I'm going to do. That's why I'm here. How do I want you to feel through all of this? Well, that feeling is, I want is, I can do this. I can do this. And why is it so important? Even though you don't know what I'm going to talk about, why is it so important? Because it's our responsibility, yours and mine. No one else's. No one gets involved in this. It's our responsibility to create this life we haven't yet lived yet. And that's what we're going to do. You see, I talked on the last FMQ about everyone's got a book inside them. But not everyone has to write it, not write it physically out there. You can do, you can do. Awesome. If you feel like you've got a book, but this is like taking that metaphor of the book of your life. And I've got a lovely process that I want to, I've adapted, that I was going to help you actually get your unconscious mind to begin to align with your conscious mind and write the chapters of what's yet to happen. So you're an author. You are an author already. In fact, you write a page a day, at least. You write a page a day because you create the life you're going to live today, right now. You may not know it consciously, but that's what you do. And you decide your day. Again, is it conscious? Sometimes. Unconscious? Absolutely. Put the two together. It can create mayhem. It can create wonders. But when we set our intention of how we want to be, and they're aligned, conscious and unconscious, we can now start writing those paragraphs, those chapters and form a wonderful dedication. Because we can dedicate this and our life to the people who's come to us in the past, but we've still got mentors to come and experiences to come in the future. And I think sometimes we get involved with other people sometimes too much. We try to write their chapters, their paragraphs. And it's not our responsibility. Yes, we can be there to support, mentor, but ultimately it's up to them to take responsibility, write their own and create their own life. And then there's the other side of that. Sometimes we let other buggers write our lives as if they're imposing what we should do. Oh, you could do this. You ought to do that. Why don't you do this? It's such as, oh, that's the right thing to do. And they don't bloody know because they're not you. They haven't got your experiences. They haven't got your learnings. They haven't got anything. They just know you from over there, but they don't know you in here, do they? Only one person knows you in here and that's you. Anyway, having said all of that, what the fuck am I talking about? I'm sorry. Well, this is what I'm going to do. Just follow along with me. If you could just take this time out, be open, be curious and follow along with me. Because on this metaphor that everyone has a book inside them, whether you actually physically write it or whether you just create it, it's just a story, but you are creating that story. You can look back over yesterday, that was part of your story. You look back over a month ago, that was just a year ago, but you look into the future and decide how you want it to be. Because it's your choice, you can either live on the effect side of life, which is cause and effect, allow other people to cause you to be a certain way, or it's the weather, a financial situation, oh I can't do this because, because, because. All bloody reasons. Good reasons? No, they're excuses, aren't they? Cause and effect. You're living in the effect side of life, but when you start to take responsibility, you are creating, you're choosing. You chose, if you did, to live at the effect side of life, you chose that unconsciously, consciously, you let it happen. Now you can stop because you can do this. You can begin to write every paragraph, every chapter creatively. You see when you become at cause, you take responsibility, you become totally bloody empowered because it's you. I've got this, happy day. So that's what we're going to do, we're going to take responsibility for this creation. And the best part about this process, the process I want to share with you, it doesn't matter if you're feeling a hundred percent, absolutely wonderful, or maybe you're not loving the world and you're struggling, or you're struggling just a little bit, or you're struggling big time, or even if you're in therapy. Why? Because it works on your desires, your dreams, and giving your permission to create and have those dreams and desires. So it doesn't really matter what chapters have gone on before, it's now creating your future, how you want to be. So it doesn't matter whatever stage you are in your life right now, this is going to help, this is going to do something. You are going to be the director of your book, well the author. So what I want you to do is whatever state of mind you're in at the moment, just suspend a little bit of doubt if you've got any, and for a few moments open up your curiosity. Give yourself a break, yeah just give yourself a break to say well if it did work, if I did follow Cloughie's little process, I wonder how good it could happen, I wonder what wonderful effects it will have, that's an awesome question. And you see what we're going to do is this wonderful process based on an NLP process called, it's a visualization, maybe a bit hypnosis, a bit hypnotic, but it's called my autobiography, but I've changed it slightly, I've adapted it to be for not the life you've lived, but the life you want to live, yours, no one else's. So that's what we're going to do, and all you're going to do is put aside 10 minutes, that's all, just 10 minutes, well give or take, that's all it is. Have you got 10 minutes? Of course you bloody have, everyone's got bloody 10 minutes, especially with the chance of creating something really nice, really good, good for a change right now. Now you may need a little notebook or a big one, I don't care, a piece of paper, a pen, because sometimes we get instant ahas, instant insights, that's it, I've got it. Write the bugger down, because you don't write it down, what happens, someone says, oh by the way, bugger it's gone, what was I thinking about, it's disappeared. So let's write the bugger down, you can go back to it, and that's what we're going to do. And remember curiosity, what does curiosity feel like? Because I want you to feel curious just before you do this process, because when you're curious and you've got this little thought in mind, I wonder what I can learn from this, you're going to learn big time. So this is what I want you to do, I just want you to find a comfortable place, a place where you will be undisturbed for around 10 minutes or so. So if you need to pause, come back to this when you've got somewhere nice and gentle, it could be on the outside, out in the fresh air, could be inside in a nice quiet place, and set that intention. I wonder what I can learn from this right now. Okay, so get that feeling of curiosity, remember a time when you were so curious and you learnt something great, and if you were to feel that feeling right now, what would that be like? And as you feel that feeling, allow your eyes to close, because you've got this safe space where you're going to be undisturbed for 10 minutes or so. You're lying down or sitting down, it doesn't matter. And breathe, take a wonderful in-breath, hold it just for a few seconds and let it out long and slow. That's right. And as you do that, you may even wonder how comfortable you could be. What would it be like to be twice as comfortable as you are right now? What would that feel? Oh yeah. And if your muscles around your eyes were so soft, maybe the eyelids wouldn't want to work, but that softness in the muscles of your eyes can penetrate all your body, all the muscles, the sinews, everything. Just with every out-breath, you get more and more comfortable. It's all you need to be. And as you do that, I want you to imagine you're sitting in a room. You're in a room, sitting at a desk. And on that desk, there's a lovely book. Some of it has already been written in. And if you looked at the cover, it would say, My Life, My Adventure. And you notice the pages have been written on. Your life that's gone by, it's already been written. The ups and the downs, the pleasures, maybe even trauma. It doesn't matter. It's gone. It's gone and been done with. You've learned from it. And as you sit there, you can see a wonderful pen and you can think now, I wonder, how would I like tomorrow? Maybe how would I like next month to be? Maybe how would I like the next six months to be? I wonder what I'm planning to do and enjoy over the next year. And that book, the unwritten pages, it's really thick because you've got so many pages to fill. Now, as you begin to think and that you pick up that pen, begin to put it on the page, it might start writing. But as you just think, get curious of how you would like the days of the rest of your life to be, to experience, to enjoy, to create. I want you to imagine leaving your body and floating outside this room because on one wall, it's a clear wall, like a lovely plastic glass. It's all the same. And you're on the other side now, looking at you, writing. Yeah, you, you're writing the rest of that book, how you want your life to be. All the adventures, the things you want, the pleasures, like your hero's journey, following your path, your passions. You're over there writing them now. See the smile on your face as you're creating wonderful, wonderful characters that you meet along the way. But then as you stand here, looking at you at that desk, you also notice beside you, people who you love. They're here too, looking at you over there. People you love. And then the other side, there's people you respect. Maybe your mentors, maybe people you've read about. They're all here, all here with you. You may not be able to see them all, but you can feel the essence and energy of their presence. And you can imagine, if you wanted to, looking through any of their eyes and seeing what they would see as they look at you, creating your future, looking through the eyes of love for you, sending you all their energy. So you can use it with inspiration, intuition, ahas, those moments of just wonder. So you can create over there, beginning to create something that you can sometimes not even imagine possible, but now you can because you have all the support. Maybe you look through the eyes of someone who loves you and look through their eyes, through the eyes of love at you over there. Feel that love being sent to you over there, giving you the quality of pure love. That's right, all this energy, all this wonderful love being, as it were, beamed to you, that you over there. And just from here, you might want to begin to think, if that you over there could have the life they want in all different areas of their life. Maybe all the different areas of context could be family, could be social, could be work, relationships, mental, physical, spiritual, connection, family. They can dream of how they want it in each area. No editing, because each time they think about it, how their life would be, they can feel it. You can feel it now. Feel how you would send the energy of how you want your relationships to be in the future, how you want your career to be in the future, your social life, your free time. How do you want to be physically, emotionally, having that connection? And feel it. Feel each one from here and send that feeling to that you over there. And just let that happen over and over again. Your unconscious mind can do it even more. But your conscious mind can imagine now, become the dreamer. And your unconscious mind can be the dream maker. That's right. If you're taking responsibility, you're empowered, and you can have it any way you want, because this is you, this is yours, your imagination of how you want the rest of your life to be. And as you feel each one of those, begin to bring them all together. As you float back into that room, into that you, sitting in that chair, in that chair and at that desk. And you might not see the words being written because you're writing this day by day in real life. I want you to take those feelings and magnify them. Magnify the feeling of how you want life to be. The ultimate vision of yourself, your best version. When you're creating the life you were meant to do. The reason you're here on this little old planet Earth, making a difference. Socially, at work, career, selfless service, feeling of wonderful relationships. What it's like to be mentally strong, emotionally so good, accessing all wonderful positive emotions and spreading true love. How it feels to be physically, just the way you want it. Having that connection. Maybe there's a spiritual side of this too. And feel them all. So this you, writing your book, can have everything you dream of. And as you do that, I want you to float all the way out of this room now, leave that you out there, at that desk, to continue writing and come back into you right now. And just for a moment, just wonder, what have I learned from this? What can I do right now? How can I begin to create the next paragraph, the next chapter of my life? How can I begin to create the life I dream of? What's a smaller step in each and every one of those wonderful contexts, areas of your life? So you know you're creating this. And allow that just to settle in and knowing, knowing, and be curious. I wonder how rich can this be? Because it's going to be the rest of your life creating the adventure of your life, of enjoyment, of joy, of love, of wonderful adventures, meeting wonderful people, doing all wonderful things, and being the true you, you were meant to be. And with that, take a wonderful in-breath with me. Let it out nice and slow. And open your eyes. There you go. Open your eyes. Look around the room, give yourself, well, can you spell your surname backwards just to bring yourself back into the E-I-H-G-U-O-L-C. Cloughie, that's me, backwards. There you go. It just breaks, whoops, breaksy. Breaks that little thing now. So now we can live that life. And if you do have that paper and pen, pencil, and if there is anything, I love it in a little book because they carry it around with you because at any moment you could get that intuition, that aha moment. So you can record the things, the insights, the intuitions, the wonderful, ah, that's what I'm going to do. And then you can just let that book inside you to be written as you create it. If there's anything you need, there are several thousand bloody episodes now of this tiny little podcast. So there's loads of tools, processes here, lots of insights. If you need a help to find something that matches your needs, let me know, feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. That's my email address. And I'll try to direct you to different areas. You've also got, because this, some of this is you're going to want to say, well, what type of state do I want to be in? How do I want to plan my future? How do I, this one particular goal that I'm really now so enthused about, how can I go about it? There are, I say, loads of previous episodes. There is a complimentary, I don't like the word free, but it is free, complimentary hypnosis track, 65, six of them at the moment. I'm going to do more, all different areas of, of change work. So you can just sit down for change and maybe just sit down for a spell and allow them to be your tools for creating the life you want. But most importantly, just take responsibility to live it because it's your responsibility. I've got mine. I've got to live mine. And part of it is doing this. I love doing this. If there's anything you need, if you think of, there's an issue, well, you know, then I'm able to direct you to an episode or hypnosis track, but if it's something specific and I'm going to go, ah, got a bloody, I want to do that process now. Let me know. And I'll do a longer podcast, maybe a short FMQ to sow the seeds. And then we can really dive in deeply just like this. Adapting processes, creating new ones, all the things that I enjoy. So I'm being really selfish here. So I'm really want to just enjoy doing this type of work as long as I can. As long as I can, as long as the runway is, let me see what I can do. Have fun. Please share this. I say every bloody time, probably don't, but if you would please share this too. If you only shared this to a couple of people and they shared it to a couple of people, paying it forward would be awesome because so many people would get to get the change, but if not, okay, fine. But I'd like you to press that subscribe button because every time there's something comes up, you get the opportunity to at worst waste 10 or 20 minutes of your life that you'll never get back. But I don't think it'll ever be a waste. There'll always be a little golden nugget or something that you can rely on in the future. And then there's all those other, other wonderful podcasts and books and YouTube videos that you can dive into to create too. And I'd love to know the type of things that you listen to, you look, you look at because it might inspire me and I want to learn too. Anyway, that's it from me. Have more fun than you can stand and simply enjoy creating your life because you can, and it's your responsibility to do it. So there you are. Go on. Off you go. Go fly. Unplugged. Transcribed by TurboScribe.ai. Go Unlimited Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

   February 27, 2026·30min
   Play
5. 5
   Number 5: #370 Creating The Real You

   Creating The Real You If we could do this in half an hour that would be magic and I am not a magician. Creating the real you is a work in progress and you wouldn't be here if you thought otherwise. This episode is inspired by reading 'The Creative Act' by Rick Ruben famously from a music background. As I read it (well I am not finished yet) I kept comparing his thoughts on creativity in music to that of personal development, and self-improvement. The terms of finding our true voice and the privilege of being able to create just resonated with me and I hope I can resonate with you with my comparisons and a process or two. I also look at what stops us in this creating of our true self, those limiting beliefs of "I'm not worth it" or " I don't belong here" and how we can change those and find more supporting beliefs and their associated emotions and behaviors. Please join me by pressing play and I hope you enjoy :O) Please share if you do https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/370-creating-the-real-you/ Again - Thank you to Rick Ruben Shine brightly Paul Please remember you can leave a comment or email me with questions, requests and feedback. If you have enjoyed this or any other episode please share and subscribe. Just email me [email protected] If you want to subscribe to the podcast (I know you do) click here to learn more Or simply click here to go straight to Apple Music / iTunes to subscribe OR leave a review Remember for my specially designed programs for developing Supreme Inner Confidence, Free Your Life of Anxiety and specialize Hypnosis tracks go to PaulCloughOnline.com If you want to access my FREE HYPNOSIS tracks go to paulcloughonline.com/podcast Follow and inter-react on twitter @pcloughie I'm a therapist but not your therapist The information with this website or online work, techniques and exercises provided within these free and paid products are for educational purposes only. Do not use the techniques or exercises contained within some of these free or paid products whilst driving or operating machinery, or if you suffer from epilepsy, clinical depression or any other nervous or psychiatric conditions. The information provided is not a substitute for proper medical advice. If in doubt, please consult your doctor or licensed medical practitioner. Any decision you make having received any of Paul Clough's free or paid products are your own and you remain wholly responsible for any decisions and actions you take. Why not look for me and the podcast on > SPOTIFY AND the app Castbox I'm also in iHeart radio YouTube - copy n paste UC3BlpN4voq8aAN7ePsIMt2Q into search bar The Libsyn podcast page http://personaldevelomentunplugged.libsyn.com tunein, learnoutloud, Google Play Music Listen to Personal Development Unplugged on RadioPublic Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, >, Music by freegroove pixabay seduction-jazz-112149 from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal Pixaby ventura-117073 from Pixabay, The transcrition and a big WARNING to those who love the written word written properly - this isn't it's a direct transcript of the spoken word - you have been warned #370 Creating The Real you Paul Clough discusses the creative act of personal development on Unplugged Speaker A: Hey, your heads, up to this blue in longer podcast, creating the Real You. But it's been inspired been inspired by a guy called Rick Rubin who wrote the book The Creative Act. And it inspired me to go through the creative act as being thing, the creative act of personal development, creating the real you, the ultimate vision of you, the you you want to be and aspire to be. And we'll get there. So come with me and see what I compared. Let me share you what I found. Or share with you what I found. Okay. Have a listen after this. Hey, welcome. Welcome to the personal development. Unplugged. podcast. So pleased you're here. Your time is valuable and precious. So what I would like to do is fill that time that you share with me with the most shiny golden nuggets to help improve your life, to get your goals, your wishes, your dreams to come to fruition quicker, bigger, better than you could ever imagine. Using your imagination, using hypnosis, using NLP, Neurolinguistic programming, all of that. Using all things of the mind, no brain hacks, but real, solid processes to deconstruct what people do to become great. And, then find the processes that we can install that in ourselves to support you in your dreams, and get what you really want in life. Anyway. Who am I? I'm Paul. Paul Clough. And just going to have conversations with you in this podcast and get you thinking, but also share those processes because we're going to have so much fun. That's it. We're going to have fun for a change because we can sit down for a spell and have more fun than we can stand creating the world we want to live in and be the person we want to be in that world. The only limitation the only limitation is your imagination. And you got bucket loads, by the way. Bucket loads. Have a listen. You really must. This is personal development. Unplugged with Paul Clough. In simplicity, there is genius. In simplicity, there is genius. This episode is inspired inspired by a book called The Creative Act Speaker A: Hey, friend, how you doing? And creating the real you. This episode is inspired inspired by a book I'm not through yet, but in the middle of reading. And it's called The Creative Act, and it's by a guy called Rick Rubin, rick Rubin from the music world. And it's all about creativity. But the thing is, here's something. These were my words, and I said, wow. And I said it. Our lives are, our creation events. Experiences don't shape us. It's how we act and react and learn from them. And that's what creates us. You, me. And they were my words. And they were my words, which were inspired by reading bits and pieces or the bits and pieces that stuck with me from this book. Yes, it is about music, but it's also about just creativity. And, I wanted to change this slightly. Everything I read you see, as I do these things, it seems whatever I read, listen, or just see, I tend to compare with my hour personal development with the term personal development. And in that personal development, I'm guessing in my mind, the aim of personal development for me is to create the ultimate me, the ultimate vision of me, whatever that is. I want to get there. And then I want another ultimate vision and another one after that just to keep can I grow to be my best? And that's what I want for you. I want you to grow to be your best and then even better than that. And that's why the things that, I've read in this book seem to just I don't know, they came in parallel with this thing, this thing of the creative act. And, here's a quote. Here's a quote from the book. It's the privilege. I say that again because I want to really be mucking up. Let's do it again. It's the privilege, the creative act. I've called it personal development, by the way. Creating us. We're choosing it. We're not being ordered to do it. And if you don't want to do it, don't do it. And, that's exactly what we say here and in NLP. Isn't that being a cause, not the effect. We're choosing choosing it choosing the creative act or choosing the creative act of creating the ultimate, the best version of ourselves. Being at cause, not the effect. And blaming everyone else and the weather, the people around you, the financial situation and everything else. No. Being at cause, taking responsibility, choosing choosing this creative act of being who you really are. Striving for it. But you see, sometimes sometimes, I guess we don't want to do those things. But we don't want to do the things that we really know. Know that we well, it would make our life better. But we still don't do the bloody things, do we? And, why is that? If we know they're good for us, why don't we do them? Why do we then go on to that fex side and blame everything else? Well, I think there's a little reason, maybe a big reason, but there is a reason that came to my mind. And you see, sometimes when we think about doing this creative act, stepping out of our call it comfort zone or familiar, I like to call it the familiar zone stepping out into something new which would really forge that new or the best version of us, we pull back because we get a negative emotion. Maybe it's fear, maybe it was anxiety. Maybe it was that bloody impostor syndrome that people bang on about. We get the limiting belief, well, I'm not good enough. I don't belong here. All that stuff. And it's there to protect us, I guess. Well, I know it is. It's your unconscious mind saying, I don't want you to be like a failure. I want you to succeed, I want you to be safe. But the thing is, when we feel fear, anxiety, we have that limiting belief of, I'm not good enough, I don't belong here. It doesn't feel bloody safe, does it? It doesn't feel safe at all, because it did back then, when you were little, give you a little bit of fear, a little bit of worry. You didn't do things, you weren't stupid, you just didn't do silly things, not stupid things. And it saved you from those feelings, but it kept doing it more and more and more. And we know if we sat down quietly, intellectually, and that's a word doesn't normally come in my conversations, but intellectually, we know that some of these things are really good for us, some of them maybe a bit bonky, but they're good, they're going to forge this ultimate vision of ourselves into reality. So we get to choose, don't we? There's a big but there but against that anxiety, the fear, the limiting beliefs, but we do get to choose if we ask some right questions, because we got to choose wisely, haven't we? You don't do anything silly and harm yourself without not without thinking, then harm yourself. But you don't do anything without thinking and mitigate any danger, any fears, any anxiety. Get it out the way, you'll be safe then. So you first of all have to think, I guess, will this thing I want to do that I'm a little bit anxious about, I don't feel like doing it, but will it make my life better if I do it? Will it make me a better version of myself, a better version of you? And you can just sit with that and go, well, actually, if I got that experience, yeah, and maybe I don't quite know how to do it yet, and the word yet, but if I put that as a goal out there, work towards it, would that make my life better or worse? Would it make me a better version of me or not? Now, you have to be honest in those thoughts, not let the anxiety, the fear, the limiting belief get in the way. You push them to one side, you park them, because you're not going to get eaten by a saber toothed tiger and all that stuff, which is where the old reptilian brain comes in to save you. Fight and flight, you've already got that. Fight and flight is hardwired in your neurology, so if something did happen, you're safe. You would act and behave in a way to keep you safe. So park that for the moment and just look at the outcome, what you would achieve if you did this thing that you were frightened about, you were anxious about, would it make a better version of you? Would your life be better? Would the opportunities be better? Now, if the answer is no, and you have to be honest, because sometimes we get peer pressure, don't we? We get pressure from all the noise out there, and there's a bloody lot of noise sometimes. The bloody social media giving you all that pressure. That supposedly what everybody's doing. So we have to do it. But if the honest answer is, well, actually, it won't make my life any better, it won't make a better version of myself. Do you know what the answer is? Don't do it. Because as you go back to that quotation, it's a privilege, creating us, we're choosing it, not being ordered to do it. If you don't want it, or, you don't want to do it, don't do it. And that's what I'm saying here. If you're honest about it and you go, do you know what? Cloughy: Can you change your belief just like that Speaker A: The result will not make me better? Don't do it. Stand up. Just say no. Because once you've said no, it disappears. But if the answer is honestly yes, then we have to think, well, let's just guide our, unconscious mind a little bit, because we've got imagination. And no one even in when they try to no one can control your imagination. It's in your mind, it's in your head. You have it. It's yours to do whatever you want. So we could go into the future, and if you were to think about it now, and you might want to do it, you might want to do it now. So if you could and there, you're not you haven't got anything that needs your attention or anything like that, driving a car and all that stuff, if you could just do it now, you might just want to listen to it, if you are doing this driving stuff. So you know what it's about. But if you could do it now, and if you could close your eyes, just take away the distractions, you could think into the future now, having achieved that thing, what would it be like to have done it already? See what you'll see, having got the results, the success. Hear what you'll hear. Hear the internal voice. See those pictures in your mind of new opportunities having already been successful in this venture. Maybe the taste and smell of success. And then when you see and you hear and you smell and you taste, feel the feelings. And as you feel those feelings, just look out even further to the future and notice, having got this achievement, what new opportunities will come your way now? That continued growth, that next level, as it were, of the ultimate vision of you that you could look towards. and as you think of all of that, just notice what belief you have about yourself. What belief did you have? What belief must you have right now, having achieved all of this? just think of that and write it down. If you can. Write that belief down, that's right now, just come back to me for the moment, open your eyes and think, going back to those old fears, that old anxiety, that old belief I'm not good enough, I don't belong here. I don't know why I do that funny voice. It's not funny, is it? But I don't belong here. Where did that bloody belief come from? Where did it come from in the past? Was it yours? Was it somebody else's? Did someone say it to you? Because others opinions are not your business. Your opinions are ah, your business. And hopefully your opinions are based on sound experience and data, not other people's, not other people's words that aren't backed up with data and facts. So just think where did that belief I'm not good enough, come from? Well maybe it came from that little you back then in the past when your unconscious mind tried to protect you from maybe feeling embarrassed and it stopped you doing the thing that would embarrass you. But that was then and it's not now. We've talked about the past is a past and it doesn't exist. It only exists in your head. So let it go. So if that belief doesn't serve you, what would that better belief be? You've just thought of one as we went into the future. But even now, knowing that, would there be a better belief to have that would really support you and keep you? mhm? And you might say, well hey Cloughy, hey, hey slow down a bit, take a breath. Because I was getting excited, wasn't I? Take a breath and just ask, I'm asking you Cloughy, can you just change your belief just like that? Can we just change just like that? Well I think you can. You can change your belief in a moment by the way. And it doesn't matter whether it's a core belief because some people used to say, oh, you can never change a core belief. Well that's BS. You can change a belief in a moment. the old four minute mile people used to believe you die if you run under four minutes a mile in under four minutes. Then good old Roger Bannister came along, beat it by just something like a half a second, didn't he? Wasn't much, just a little bit. First man to beat the four minute mile get under four minutes. What happened in the weeks to come? Every bugger was doing it. They changed their belief because they saw in that moment what they believed couldn't be done. They saw it happen, it became real. So they can change a belief in a moment. And if that new belief serves you better, keeps you safer, your unconscious mind will take it on. Imagine having that powerful, protective, safe belief that empowers you Speaker A: So again, just as we did before, knowing that you can imagine and visualize, now you know what the success looks like having achieved that result. Imagine doing it that way. So if you were to just close your eyes again, imagine having that wonderful, powerful, protective, safe belief that empowers you, puts you at cause, taking responsibility. And when you do that, imagine doing that thing to achieving that success. Haven't quite got there yet. You're going to do it. What's it like taking those steps? Maybe they're little baby steps. Some people don't like baby steps but just call them small steps and getting bigger. Walking, then skipping, then running, noticing the new opportunities coming your way even when you haven't even got the final success yet. But you're still seeing new opportunities, maybe meeting new people, learning new things. Feel what that's like. See what you'll see, hear what you'll hear. And notice the feeling. And be honest. Does it feel safer? Safer than that old fear and anxiety? Does this way protect you better? And if you said to your unconscious mind, hey, have a look, have a look at this. Notice this is safer than what you used to do. Because that old way of doing things was from a long time ago and it's no longer appropriate. These are using my all my skills now and learning more. And just ask your unconscious mind would it be better, would it be better to protect me in this way? This or something better? And you see that's well, you can open your eyes again. If you did close them, by the way, wouldn't that be better? And that's how you can change. Just like that. You might have to do it a couple of times, but bucket that's not too much to ask, is it? When you go to the gym, do, you get supersonically fit in that first bloody hour that you go to the gym and you never have to go again? Well, of course you don't. You do. Bit by bit. You build up you build up that skill of visualization. Because once you get that empowerment, things become clearer. You get to feel the feeling. And you see there's a great quote in that book and it said this ultimately, your desire to create and I put in brackets, the real you, the real me must be greater than your fear. Well, we've just shown it by when we go into that visualization, doing things a different way, that desire will be so much greater than your fear because you'll have better resources than fear itself. And that's why we just say to our unconscious mind, look at this, I'm going to show you my conscious mind will now show you that fear and anxiety is now inappropriate. It doesn't work in this event. And if you think of it as being and finding your real voice, there was another quote. You're the only one with this voice. Think of that. No one else in this world before, ah, in the past, now or in the future will have your voice. people say we always used to say in hypnosis, you're unique. And it was a bit of a word. It is a word, but it was a bit of a saying. But it's true though, isn't it? You are unique. You're the only one with this voice. Let's not hide it. Let's, grow it, train it to become such a wonderful musical sound in the world, to resonate, resonate in you and resonate in others. And all you're doing is doing this thing about creating the real you, taking the responsibility to do it because no other swore then no other person will help you will do it for you. They can't. It's no good. You're saying, can you do it for me? No. You have to take those steps. You take the responsibility. And when you do that, the, oh, if only looking back, oh, if only I could have I shoulda, all that bullshit would disappear. And even sometimes, because I'm not going to say every time you do this, you're going to have complete success because things happen. Sometimes we don't. Maybe we just make not the wrong choice, but we make a choice, which isn't in that way, but we learn. We learn from the results that we get. They're not failures. We learn from the results we get. We are flexible. And we head for that goal again, having learned from it. And it's the learnings that keep you free. Learnings, that keep you safe. And remember or re remember intention. When you set your intention and you decide to have the will to do whatever it takes, your confidence in your competence will grow immeasurably. Because you've set your intention, you're going to do this. I'm going to do whatever it takes to get there. And I'm going to use that wonderful positive belief. I'm going to find my voice. I'm going to find this version of me that I have out there. And then when I get there, I'm going to have another one. Yeah. Take a breath. Cluffy. Take a breath. You see, I made a meta note of this, as if I was looking down at my notes and what I was talking about and the meta note was this will always be a work in progress. So there's always another opportunity. There's always time in the now to keep creating. And you can learn from everything. That was the other thing I wanted to tell you. Doesn't matter what you're experiencing, there's some learnings there that will help you grow. Just as I was reading this book about creativity, and I haven't even finished it, and I found these wonderful sayings that inspired me because we can take it. It's like taking different skills and put them into different areas because that's what we do. it's not only skill stacking, but it's using skills in different areas because there's always a different way to do things or not manipulate, but evolve using different skills. And all you have to do, I guess, is just be a little bit curious. And I thought to myself, well, why is this all important? What's so important about this bloody message that, you've come out with cluffy. And I thought to myself, well, why is this important? Paul Clough: We have the privilege of choosing to create ourselves Speaker A: And it comes down to the real, basic, simple statement. You I we get to choose. We get to choose. We have that wonderful privilege, as Rick Rubin says, of choosing to create us. and it is a privilege, isn't it? And I always say, sort of say this to so many people, whatever your belief, if this was the one and only life we have, it is a privilege, because you get to choose. You get to do this. You get to choose. And if you don't, you're wasting that privilege. So let's go do it. And if you want to read the book, it is a great book, Rick Rubin, and it's called The Creative Act. It's a great book. I haven't finished reading it. I'll come back with more I'm sure inspired me. Great book. There you go. I hope, as usual, that I communicated, and maybe with a bit more passion than I thought, but I communicated my thoughts in a way that inspires you just a little bit. Just a little bit to think, to muse, to visualize that ultimate vision of yourself, the beliefs that support that ultimate vision of who you really can be. And you take that responsibility. If I've done that job done, I'd love to hear if I did that, and if I didn't, how could I have done it better? And maybe, what were the effects of you going into that visualization and taking that responsibility? I'd love to know what the effects were, the results, because then I can share them in another episode, because when we share the results, we get it inspires others. It's not ego saying, oh, look at me. It's no, look, this is what can be done. And we need people to tell to share what can be done, to inspire others. So if you'd like to drop me a line on, an email, it's feedback at personal developmentunplug.com only comes to me, and obviously, if I do talk about it, it will be anonymous. Not me, you. That would be great. And there's a button, that button of sharing or following, if you could press that, that would make a huge difference. If we all did it, I do it. I've got a couple of followings of myself and other people because I know it makes a difference to their podcast as well. If you can follow and, subscribe, it just helps make people more aware they get it in their inbox or whatever as a suggestion to look at, and it will help them, I'm sure. So if you could do that, that'd be wonderful. And share the episodes as well. Share the podcast. Hey, I want to take a breath. I need a cup of coffee. I need to relax and see what comes after this. So do have more fun than you can stand. Wallow in joy and happiness. Yeah. Nearly Christmas, too. Isn't it, though? We can spread it, too. Spread everything. Have fun. Till the next time, my friend. Thank you for your time. I am so grateful that you would just spend some time with me. So let's create the life and the world we want to live in. I'll see you soon. Bye bye. It's time to fly. You are now leaving the unclouded mind of Paul Clough. It's time to fly on your own. Be brave, my friend. Personal development. Unplugged.

   December 23, 2023·29min
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