Apocalypse & Avocados with Peter, Shaun, and Carissa.

Warning: Peter goes off about family drama right out the gate, but don't worry—it's therapeutic AF.

This week, the beautiful disasters tackle what happens when you stop settling for boring shit and start actually living. Carissa face-planted while waterskiing for the first time (10/10 would recommend), Peter serves family drama realness, and Shaun's making jalapeño cocktails that could send you to the ER.

We're unpacking why our generation feels guilty about choosing happiness, why Miami canceled democracy like a Netflix subscription, and how tourism protests are getting violent because some people can't behave abroad. Plus: $1,300 health insurance premiums, the housing crisis hitting the ultra-rich, and why Peter and Shaun completely forgot their 12-year anniversary until Carissa reminded them in Puerto Rico.

Bottom line: Life's too short to waterski badly, deal with toxic family, or live where elections are optional. Sometimes the most radical thing you can do is embrace the beautiful disaster.

Perfect for: Anyone dealing with family toxicity, people who think they're "too old" for new adventures, and millennials questioning literally everything.

Contains: Therapeutic ranting, waterskiing fails, relationship milestones, and discussions about why some people need to mind their own business.

So Peter's editing at midnight, gets an ad for a $400 scalp ritual while reading about flood victims, and almost clicks "buy now." That's... that's where we're at as humans right now.

Episode 30 is here and we're spiraling about July 2025—the timeline where we're googling skincare tips during actual disasters.

What we're unpacking:

• People searched "wet look lashes" 8,700% more while Ukraine got bombed (make it make sense)
• Texas floods + 109 deaths = turmeric soap searches up 3,400% (???)
• $24 billion on skincare while bridges literally collapse
• Why we're more scared of ChatGPT than fascists (priorities, people)
• CBG gummies exploded 847% because anxiety tastes better in grape flavor
• BookTok's horny escape room + VR sales through the roof
• 48% of millennials are broke but our skin is chef's kiss

Also featuring:

• A monk at the gym (2025 is weird)
• Mountain Dew predicting natural disasters
• Peter's wrinkle-induced existential crisis at 35
• Why Gen Z said "nah" to leadership roles

The thesis: We're all coping with face masks while democracy dies, and somehow that feels... normal? If you've ever felt guilty about your skincare routine during a climate disaster, welcome home.

Join Peter, Carissa, and Shaun for an hour of brutal self-awareness disguised as entertainment. We're calling out our own bullshit while actively participating in it.

Fair warning: Contains natural disasters, political anxiety, financial stress, and the uncomfortable realization that we're all just trying to survive with good skin and questionable priorities.

For anyone who's ever doom-scrolled while shopping for wellness products and felt personally attacked by their own behavior.

It’s hot. It’s messy. And no one knows what month it is anymore. Welcome to Apocalypse & Avocados: Midsummer Meltdown Edition. Peter, Carissa, and Issa are back together, sweaty and unfiltered, to spiral through this chaotic season of Barbieheimer fallout, concert therapy, LaBooBoo demon dolls, and Euro-core travel influencers who claim red wine for breakfast is healing their inner child.

We’re talking about the actual heat (Puerto Rico, we love you but we’re melting), the cultural colonization we witnessed firsthand, the poop cruise documentary, and the rising trend of concerts-as-coping-mechanisms—plus how much protein it takes to not be a bitch on vacation.

Also: TikTok bans, emotional sweat stains, Sabrina Carpenter slander, and a Hot Take Lightning Round that ends with Peter winning the title of Saltiest Bitch™️.

If you’ve ever cried into an iced coffee while hate-watching The Ultimatum: Queer Love… this one's for you.

☕ Tune in, sip something cold, and stay emotionally hydrated.

🌀 Streaming now wherever podcasts are spiraling.

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Peter and Shaun drop the bombshell you didn't see coming: they're leaving the United States and moving to Portugal. In this special minisode launch of "Avocados Abroad," the duo gets brutally honest about the three-year journey that led to this life-changing decision.

From the political climate that first sparked the idea to the November election that sealed the deal, Peter and Shaun break down exactly why they're trading Massachusetts for Porto. Spoiler alert: it involves socialized medicine, safety rankings, LGBTQ+ rights, and the realization that their health insurance was almost as expensive as their mortgage.

What you'll get:

• The real reasons behind their emigration decision (beyond just "we saw the election results")
• Why Portugal made the cut (hint: Shaun's grandfather and their #7 safety ranking didn't hurt)
• The bureaucratic nightmare of visa applications and apartment hunting from 3,000 miles away
• Shaun's Portuguese language learning journey vs. Peter's... well, let's just say he's trying
• What this means for the main Apocalypse & Avocados podcast (spoiler: Carissa's still here, they're going digital)

The brutal honesty: They acknowledge this is a privilege, they've never set foot on Portuguese soil, and they're about to uproot their entire lives based on three years of research and a whole lot of hope.

Whether you're dreaming of your own international escape or just want to watch two chaotic humans fumble through the biggest decision of their lives, this minisode sets the stage for the adventure ahead. Pack your bags (digitally) – you're coming with them.

Perfect for: Anyone considering moving abroad, fans of bureaucratic chaos, or people who make life-changing decisions that sound insane but feel right in your chest.

New miniseries "Avocados Abroad" documents every step of their Portuguese adventure – from visa approvals to culture shock, language barriers to making new friends. The main podcast continues with digital recording, so buckle up for double the chaos.

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Burnout is a badge of honor, “boundaries” are a weapon, and everyone’s a self-diagnosed expert—welcome to 2025. In this unfiltered episode, Peter (with Shaun riding shotgun) dives headfirst into the therapy-speak epidemic, the rise of viral quitting, and the dopamine arms race that’s left us all exhausted and emotionally detached.

We break down:

• How TikTok turned “gaslighting” and “narcissist” into everyday insults (even if nobody knows what they mean)
• The Jonah Hill & Sarah Brady text scandal—when “boundaries” become control
• Why burnout is pandemic-level (and why crying at your desk is just Tuesday now)
• Coffee-badging, quiet quitting 2.0, and the viral #QuitTok trend—plus stories of real-life loud leavers
• Gaming addiction lawsuits and the new screen-time blame game
• How TikTok’s mental health rabbit holes are making everyone a little more anxious (and a lot more confused)
• The wildest rants, from “boundary-bombing” to productivity theater

Plus: Peter and Shaun volley through real stories, personal confessions, and the most unhinged workplace moments, all while challenging you to a 24-hour “No-Therapy-Speak” day (#SayWhatYouMean).

Carissa’s not gone—she’s just recharging. Catch up on Episodes 26 and 27 if you missed them, and get ready to laugh, cringe, and maybe rethink your next “self-care boundary.”

Listen now for a brutally honest, laugh-out-loud look at how therapy-speak, burnout, and digital chaos are rewiring our reality—one viral resignation at a time.

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Why does everyone seem allergic to commitment these days? In this episode, Peter and Shaun dig into the new normal of canceled plans, RSVP lies, and the rise of main character syndrome. From group chats that turn into graveyards to the art of soft ghosting and the absurdity of adult gift bags, nothing escapes their unfiltered takes. Expect rants about salad-for-dinner weirdos, TikTok trend disasters, and the existential dread of trying to keep up with anything—or anyone—when flakiness is the default setting.

If you’re exhausted by broken promises, baffled by the latest social etiquette, or just need to laugh at the chaos, this episode is your permission slip to bail on perfection. Tune in for sharp humor, zero sugar-coating, and a little solidarity for anyone who’s ever been left on read.

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Pride, Pyrotechnics, and the Patriarchy: A Queer Guide to Surviving Summer

 Fireworks, family drama, rainbow capitalism, and an iced coffee melting in your lap—must be summer. In this chaotic and uncomfortably relatable episode, Shaun and Peter unpack the mess that is being queer in the land of backyard BBQs, disappearing Pride merch, and American exceptionalism. From glitter-covered burnout to travel horror stories and the salty politics of patriotism, this one’s for everyone dodging both literal and emotional fireworks this week.

We play a shady summer game called “BBQ or Bye-Bye,” spill listener-worthy tea on family functions gone wrong, and talk about what it really means to find freedom—whether that’s across borders or just across the yard from your uncle’s ‘Don’t Tread on Me’ lawn chair.

💥 Tune in for queer chaos, hard truths, and a few popsicle-stick-deep moments of introspection.

🔗 Don’t forget to rate, follow, and tag us in your summer spirals: @ApocalypseAndAvocados on all platforms. #QueerSummerSurvival

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🎙️ Snack Attack: Millennial Food Trauma & Nutrition Glow-Ups
Hosted by Carissa | Apocalypse & Avocados

If you ever ate a rice cake and called it dinner, this one’s for you.

In this episode, we dive fork-first into the chaotic world of millennial food trauma, unpacking the diet culture disasters we grew up with (SlimFast, we’re looking at you), and the glow-ups we’re embracing now. From fat-free lies to protein pancakes, we explore what “healthy” even means in 2025—especially when you're queer, burnt out, and just trying to eat something that doesn’t trigger a flashback.

Expect chaotic snack confessions, nostalgic rants, and a game of Snack or Scam that may ruin your next grocery run. Bonus: Carissa spills her no-BS take on wellness trends, food guilt, and why some “health” influencers need to be stopped.

In this episode:
🥣 Fat-free food trauma & the 100-calorie curse
💪 The queer relationship with food, body image & identity
🍬 Snacks we love, snacks that lied to us
🎮 Game: Snack or Scam? (Bone broth popsicles, anyone?)
🛑 Why wellness culture is just rebranded restriction sometimes
💚 Healing through food without the toxic vibes

Grab a snack (preferably not a kale chip), press play, and let’s digest the chaos together.

—

💬 Listener Q of the Week:
What’s a snack you were told was “bad” that you now eat proudly?

Tag us @apocalypseandavocados or drop your answer in a review.

—

🧠 TW: Diet culture, disordered eating mentions (discussed critically, not graphically).

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This week, we’re stepping way outside our comfort zones—and inviting you to do the same. In this episode, Peter, Shaun, and Carissa drop the filters and dive into the headlines that keep us up at night: Trump’s sweeping new travel ban and its ripple effects on millions of families, the ongoing humanitarian crises in Gaza and Ukraine, and the relentless flood of anxiety-fueling news and social media trends.

We get real about what it means to stay informed without losing your mind, the guilt of tuning out, and the struggle to find hope when every headline feels heavier than the last. From the politics of immigration and the realities of war to viral TikTok trends and the wild world of “wellness” hacks, nothing is off-limits. Expect honest spirals, hard questions, and a few moments of much-needed humor as we unpack how these stories shape our lives—and why talking about them matters.

If you’re ready for a conversation that challenges what you think you know, pulls no punches, and reminds you you’re not alone in the chaos, hit play. This is Apocalypse & Avocados: No comfort zones, no easy answers—just the stories that change everything.

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RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 10 Pink Bracket: Drama, Designs & Delusions | Gag Order Episode Review

Welcome back to the Gag Order! In this episode, we dive into the glitter-soaked world of the Pink Bracket Queens from RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars 10. Join us as we break down the runway looks, the drama, and the unforgettable performances from the first three episodes. From the jaw-dropping design challenges to the fierce lip-sync battles, Peter and I review it all with love and a pinch of shade. Remember, all commentary is in good fun as we celebrate the fabulous drag queens. Tune in and follow along with the images linked in the description!

Image board of the looks and clips we are reviewing: https://www.pinterest.com/apocalypseandavocados/the-gag-order-ep-2-image-board/

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
02:26 Drama Between Tina and Mistress
05:08 Runway Challenge: Design Reviews
17:44 Lip Sync and Points Distribution
21:33 Little Shop of Horrors Runway Looks
25:25 Transitioning North
25:38 Critiquing the Runway
28:05 Lydia's Look and Roast Performance
29:19 Tina's Fashion and Lip Sync Analysis
32:37 Point Sharing and Fairness
34:24 Wild West Runway Looks
40:37 The Butt Plug Controversy
44:39 Musical Challenge Performances
47:26 Final Thoughts and Future Episodes

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