Apologies Accepted

Business rule #1 is donut mess with the cops (it’s a pun! And episode 43!).  Business rule #2 is don’t lay-off 900 people as if you were sad about having to take out the garbage and then go on an anonymous chat board to say people deserved it.  Vishal Garg (not a Smurf) didn’t know about rule #2, or chose not to follow it because the rules don’t apply to him.  Either way, he laid off 900 people on a Zoom call, told them how sad he was, and then promptly bricked all their laptops and left them to wallow alone in shock and fear.  Just another day in the office for Vishal, according to some co-workers and some former business partners.

He apologized for his “poor execution” of the Zoom Boom ™ but is he actually sorry for laying off 900 people on a Zoom call?  He probably is, now that the business world has his photo up in every HR department as a reminder that empathy, not apathy, is the best way to crush someone’s soul under your boot when you lay them off during the holiday season.

Alice Sebold misidentified a man as a rapist and that man spent 16 years wrongfully imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit.  She wrote a memoir about the rape and the trial of the man she believed assaulted her. The memoir was a huge bestseller and she went on to literary fame, writing several novels to both critical and commercial success.  Recently her memoir was in production to become a film when one of the executive producers noticed some things in the trial that didn’t quite add up.  He hired a retired police detective who, in only 48 hours (that’s 2 days) discovered evidence that fully exonerated the man mistakenly accused of rape.

Released from jail in 1998, Mr. Broadwater spent years listed as a sex-offender, unable to secure solid employment, a social outcast with few friends. His life after prison is simply a series of contrasts between what might have been and what is, robbed of opportunities by a chance unlucky encounter with a woman on the street and the US judicial system.

Alice herself also had a chance unlucky encounter with the US judicial system.  The prosecutors lied to her, gave her false information that she believed.  Now that we know that Mr. Broadwater was innocent, wrongfully identified and convicted, we have an apology from Alice for mistakenly accusing him.  How do you apologize for being a part of a system that wrongfully punished an innocent person?  How much responsibility does she bear for her role?

Never fear, we are here with the answers (and chicken and d*ck jokes, too)!

Russ and Phylis have been victims of Christmas pranksters since 2016.  One year the baby Jesus was stolen out of their nativity scene, later returned thanks to the miracle of faith and a very passive aggressive 3-foot-tall sign that Phylis posted on the front lawn.  Another year baby Jesus was stolen and never returned.  In 2019 the merry pranksters struck again, stealing the entire nativity scene…only to return it a few days later with a note of apology (surely returned thanks again to the miracle of faith and yet another giant passive aggressive note signed by Phylis).

We’re here to rate the apology note the thieves left behind and explore the mystery of the nativity: how accurate is our modern day understanding of the birth of the baby Jesus?  What about the Wise Men, or the animals in the manger, or even the year and day of the birth?  What is true and what is fiction? We take a deep dive into first century Christianity and all the things around the two completely different birth narratives found in the Bible.

Note from Phylis: Do not listen to these two heathens discuss my nativity set or any of the words they can muster out of their mouths. (Note on the note: please note this is not an actual note from Phylis).

Snoopy is cooking Thanksgiving dinner and everyone is invited!  Jellybeans and toast for all - including Franklin, the only black kid in the world of Charlie Brown and Peanuts!  Franklin gets a seat at the table all by himself as the other kids crowd around the opposite side of the table.  Some people see this moment in the show as emblematic of the black experience in America: included but excluded at the same time.  Other people see this as Franklin getting a place of honor: by sitting alone he stands out amidst all the chaos of a dog and bird cooking and serving everyone dinner.  Some people see racism, some see cartoon fun, but everyone can agree that a dog and a bird shouldn’t have to do all the work while a bunch of kids sit around and complain about the food.

What is Thanksgiving, where does it come from, what’s the fact vs. fiction in the history of Thanksgiving?  And what about Snoopy – is there racism going on and is there an actual apology being made by anyone for Franklin sitting all alone at a table crowded with white friends?

Get ready to dish (sorry) about the tasteful (sorry) history of Franklin, his first appearance, his meaning and importance in the world of Peanuts (sorry and yes, we’re using it as a food pun), and the sweet (sorry) teacher from Los Angeles who helped flavor (sorry) his creation.

In the early 2000s, Paris Hilton was seen as a joke.  She was a dumb spoiled rich girl, and it seemed as if the media was forcing her upon the world for. No. Good. Reason.  When a private video tape was released, the public largely said she deserved what she got – and maybe she was even using the video to get more famous.  Either way it was somehow all her fault.  Few people felt sorry for Paris.  She was a target for ridicule of comedians and the media.  To protect herself, she played a character in public, a dumb blonde who somehow remained on everyone’s radar through her antics and her lifestyle.

Today we understand things differently.  In hindsight we can see that Paris was a victim, not only of betrayal by a boyfriend but also of needless cruelty from the public.  One of the comedians who made fun of Paris in 2007 has come forward with a public apology and we're here to help rate the apology (and the joke!) as we all learn (hundreds of millions of dollars later) that while Paris Hilton may have suffered trauma, she is nobody’s fool.

Harry Styles found himself in a bit of hot water with Billy Porter.  Harry had posed on the cover of Vogue, in a dress, and Billy was pretty angry over all the praise Harry was receiving.  Billy said some things that he later apologized for, explaining that all he’d ever received was scorn for wearing women’s fashion, but here comes a handsome straight white guy in a dress and the whole world swoons over how brave Harry Styles is.  Billy set the record straight (pun and it stays) explaining that it wasn’t right to be mad at Harry, instead he is angry at a culture that takes trends from black queer people and then never acknowledges their contributions.

Is that true (yes, yes it is) and what is it about clothing and gender anyway?  This episode considers the history of laws around gender and clothing, drag queens, and what it means to be gender-queer – and of course at the life of one Mr. Fantastic Billy Porter (all hail!) who is all dressed up with everywhere to go.

MOVE was a quasi-political organization that began in the 1970s.  Ex-members say it is a cult, current members say it is a peaceful back-to-nature movement meant to reunited mankind with the natural world.  In 1978 the City of Philadelphia said it was a terrorist organization that needed to be dealt with, and the city did just that with 400 cops, tanks, bulldozers, hand grenades, and guns.  An officer died and nine members were sent to jail based on the forensic work of the police.  In 1985 Philly came back to settle the score with MOVE, this time with bombs.  An entire city block was lost to fire, which was allowed to rage uncontrolled for hours.  11 MOVE members died in the bombing, 6 adults and 5 children.  61 homes were destroyed by the fire.

Did MOVE have a reason to distrust the police?  What started it all and how did a group of peaceful back-to-the-earth naturalists find themselves at odds with the Philly PD? 

It’s our Halloween special!  One summer in 1692 some village girls began behaving strangely.  Witches were the only explanation and so began one of the darkest periods in early American history – The Salem Witch Trials.  200 people were sent to jail and 20 were killed by public execution.  The Witch Trials lasted about a year, and seemingly stopped just as suddenly as they had started.  The big question has always been: why?  Why did a group of young girls accuse grown adult women of attacking them with witchcraft?  Why did Harvard educated adult men convict innocent women and men (and two dogs) of being in league with the devil?  Historians, social scientists, writers, and scholars have examined this event and offered clues which reflected the social issues happening in their own eras – but maybe after 329 years enough time has gone by for us to clearly see the truth behind the issues that sparked the most famous witch-craze in American history?

Our first season draws to a close and our big take away – there are a lot of apologies out there!  So we are going above and beyond as we highlight the most notable and give awards to some really deserving apologies.  Not every apology earns an award, but each one was already a winner for having been a show episode.

Although it’s the end of season 1, have no fear - we’re marching straight into season 2 with a whole bunch of new apologies and a lot of swear words (sorry, moms)!

Totally planned and absolutely *not* by accident, our Spooky October Month-Long-Spectacular continues with an episode about Skinwalker Ranch, a ranch in Utah owned by a billionaire who wants to study the paranormal.  Before that, the ranch was owned by a different billionaire who was studying flying saucers.  Before that, it was owned by a nice ranching family who did not care for UFOs or the paranormal, they just wanted to raise some cattle in peace and quiet – not have to fight off scary monster-wolves and deal with UFOs. All. Of. The. Time. Every. Day.

Our apology this episode comes from a hiker who accidentally seems to have wandered into a Skinwalker’s lair…and he wants to go back and apologize for trespassing.

Skinwalkers are creatures from Navajo folklore, they are Navajo witches who can assume any shape they want.  In the ancestral lands of the Native American Ute peoples, the most popular Skinwalker form seems to be a large hungry, angry wolf. 

It is said that Skinwalkers are seen at the ranch – but not just Skinwalkers!  No.  Also flying saucers.  And lots of other strange and scary beings.  The ranch has been studied for nearly 20 years, the two billionaire owners have each employed teams of scientists to observe and record occurrences at the ranch.  There are books, and podcasts, TV shows, magazine articles, and probably video games (sure, why not?!).  It seems like the real mystery behind Skinwalker Ranch is not the paranormal but rather, when will the Summer blockbuster movie be released?