Ahhh, April. It's not summer yet, but the holidays are done, and in 1983, studios didn't know what the hell to do with themselves. Fassbinder's final feature film, some more teen sex comedies, a horror film that's barely a horror film, another horror film that is mainly a great poster in search of a movie, OJ Simpson and a dog, and possibly one of the best Italian knock-off post-apocalyptic films ever made... and that's just the start.

Do you like Chuck Norris? Why?

Even if you don't, though, holy cow, you have got to see Lone Wolf McQuade. That's really the big theme of the month... movies you've got to see for yourself. Sexy vampires, even sexier aliens, and the sexiest goddamn steel worker of all time. James Toback slimes it up, young Nic Cage charms the shit out of us, and something wicked heads in our general direction. All that plus the debut of one Samuel Muthaforkin' Raimi? It's a gift of a month, really. You'll see.