Reg is angry that he can't say what he wants to any more. Archie is livid because Reg won't stop talking about this.

Trevor McDonald is always causing trouble in the club. But he hasn't been in for a while. Could it be that being half Octopus is the issue?

Elsewhere Reg is about to do something dreadful. You don't mention The Boy.

There will be tears before bedtime....

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Archie has a riddle for Reg to solve. If Reg can't solve it there will be trouble.

It's his own fault.

Once recovered a true emergency needs attention. Bubter is "upscaling" the club. This means gin is off the menu.

Choices are limited. Luckily there are memories of Pan's People and Peter Stringfellow to distract.

Reg's Allo Allo impressions don't help.

Let's hope nobody fouls themselves.

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Who is this "pheasant plucker" and why the hell has he come?

This will not be tolerated.

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Reg is terribly cross. His wife falls for whatever "the man" tells her.

But who is "the man"?

What is doing on the corner?

And why does Nanny think he's going to get you?

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Archie has been awaiting a Papal visit since the 1930's.

The visit occured, and now Archie isn't talking to Reg.

An easy confusion- "Pope or Strippergram"? Sadly a diplomatic incident seems to be on the cards...

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Monkey's are vermin, and that one has it's knackers out!

This will never do.

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There are rules in life. Simple rules. One rule is that that stupid boy stays the other side of the bar.

We wouldn't want him to transgress and end up with that broom lodged somewhere, would we...?

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The chaps have very little time for "celebrity". Archie admits to having a full set of autographs of the German High Command circa 1940 but that's as far as it goes! Understandable, given the sort of thing modern "celebrities" get up to. A rumour is doing the rounds of the club...

Further to this missive Reg has written a poem. This will not go unchallenged.

(If anyone could advise Archie on how to dispose of a body he would very grateful.)

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