Theft is in the air at Law and Ordeals this week, though what's with the trend of stealing things that are alive? A motorist in Port Washington is having a particularly bad day. We discover possibly the worst place ever to conduct an affair. A dubious package from Japan arrives.

Diplomacy doesn't always work when it comes to garbage collection in the Fox Cities. An 18-year-old chooses the wrong terrain upon which to test his new Subaru. Vaping isn't for everyone. Pick-up basketball isn't for everyone. Round-the-clock home surveillance makes it awful challenging these days to surprise your spouse with new furniture.

A wildlife center gets calls to assist and injured animal and discover something unusual. A man apparently couldn't microwave his stolen burrito fast enough. People get hangry when the pizza order takes a while. Don't flush that weed, man. And we know you're the guy peeing in the Starbucks cups, because your name is written on them in Sharpie.

A neighbor employs an unusual method to dim the lights across the street. A dispute over laundry. A dispute over headphones and sweat pants. Can you tell the difference between the smell of marijuana and burnt food? Maybe just make sure it's drugs before you call the police.

A phone demonstration turns into a missing phone. Fishermen are told they need to choose a different venue aside from the golf course pond. A woman's wedding requests go unmet until she finds someone to wed. A backpack suspended in the air. And you guys, just, like, never go on the ice, OK?

The messiah pays a visit to local retailers. An illegal way to make a makeshift Santa sleigh. Christmas dragging one motorist down in a literal way. A burglar who has trouble negotiating the winter elements. And seriously, don't mess with a Marine, whether or not he's 95 years old. It's a special holiday edition of the Law and Ordeals podcast.

A man's Thanksgiving ends in sword-wielding frustration. It turns out you can't get to China by traveling underground. "I love you" feels hollow when it's scrawled in marker on your vehicle's upholstery. A stuffed animal is complicit in electronics theft.

The cops have already been called on Santa, and it's not even December. The local cop shop is not a suitable drop-off location for your outgoing appliances. Some calisthenics at 2 in the morning get the attention of local police. A woman looking for one end of the Milwaukee metro finds ... the other. And: If you're driving a car loaded with illegality, maybe obey the basic traffic laws, mmk?

For the first time, Law and Ordeals navigates outside the jurisdiction for a Marshfield story that's too irresistible not to share. A thief can't hide the evidence on his face. Thieves take some very intriguing items from a local hotel. A grandma gives a scammer a piece of her mind. And a woodchuck on the loose!

Law and Ordeals adopts an animal theme this week. A plot to kill a neighbor's cat is foiled by the potential assailant's talkativeness, a cat tries to murder its house guests by setting the kitchen on fire, flamingos go missing in the midst of a school rivalry and a dude in Cudahy tries to escape police in an unusual getaway car.