(REUPLOADED AND FIXED) The stuff with Brian is getting a little worse and has us concerned. MJ and I are starting to think that all of this is maybe being cause by Brian not handling the death of Dana well? I mean we all grieve in different ways. The current theory is that Brian is  devastated because he feels that with Dana gone, no one will ever be as big of a pain in his ass as Dana was, and thus a part of his life is over. This is why Brian is running all over town trying to find things to shove up his butt so that he can try to recreate SOME semblance of the pain that was in his ass in the past. 

This is literally the worst thing that has ever happened it's even worse  than when my grandpa died...i was literally sitting in the office and i felt  like i had to fart but when i pushed i just felt straight up  liquid  coming out of my ass...i stood up and im wearing light blue pants so  everyone saw...i litrerally want to die...people were bursting out  laughing and covering their nose and i ran to the bathroom. the shit  kept coming out of my ass while i was running to the bathroom and it  leaked down my leg and i turned my head around and saw droplets on the  floor and a girl looking at me... now im hiding in the stall for the  past 15 minutes with shit all in my pants and underwear... i dont know  what to do...i am stuck in here. This is so much worse than when my  grandpa died from robbing that walgreens and disagreeing with the police about it

Yo to the World

Dana's Dead

He broke

Off his

Rear-end

What happened to his body?

Ran over by some Harley's

Vroom Vroom they go

Vroom Vroom they go

What happened to his toes?

Brian shoved them up his nose

Up up they went

Up up they went

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.

I saw Lincoln Riley at a grocery store downtown, yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken a back, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

It’s our one year anniversary special extravaganza WOW. WOW. WOW. WOW. Am I really ruining someones fucking life when I have to ask for no pickles on a burger? Cause I swear to god it feels like that sometimes. I can just feel the disdain and scorn from the fast food worker the second I ask, and they never take it off, sometimes I get extra pickles. Like wtf man? I also bet you a thousand dollars the $15 dollars an hour thing wouldn’t do shit to help that. My dad wants me to buy a cow.

Ok so cards on the table, this week we phoned it in A LITTLE BIT but whatever I don’t owe anybody and explanation except Chloe she’s all that matters at this point and she can message me personally later if she’s really that concerned about. Hey how crazy is this whole Hugh Jackman being Wolverine again thing? Would you buy a sweatshirt that was just a list of all of George Floyd’s crimes?

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. He can seldom close his eyes without opening them again at fear of Charlies lurking in the jungle trees. Not that you could ever see the bastards, mind you. They were swift, and they knew their way around the jungle like nothing else. He remembers the looks on the boys' faces as he walked into that village and... oh, Jesus. The memories seldom left him, either. Sometimes he'd reminisce - even hear - Tex's southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes like nothing else. He always kept a pack of Lucky's with him. The boys are gone, now. He knows that; it's just that he forgets, sometimes. And, every now and then, the way that seven looks at him with avid concern in his eyes... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. Makes him feel like he's back there... in the jungle.

We're back this week cause MJ transferred a beard from one dead guy to another. Not really, but that's what some lady from 90 Day Fiancé thinks she did. We also discuss how much hot sauce you're legally allowed to give to a child as well as Brian's penis reduction surgery.