On this week's episode, I talk to Lauren Schneider, the clinical director of child and adolescent programs at Our House, the only grief support center in Los Angeles, serving the second-largest school district in the country. Lauren has been doing this work for over 20 years and she understands adolescent grief better than anyone. We talked about grief as it relates to child development, therapy versus grief support, and why peer support is the absolute best thing for kids who've lost someone close to them. She also shares insights into how we are only now beginning to see the effects of Covid on kids. I learned a tremendous amount from this conversation and it shifted a few of my ideas about how to best support kids today.

To leave comments please rate and review on Apple podcasts or visit me on my substack: "I'm Listening."

Intro and outro music by Josephine Wiggs from her Album "We Fall."

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This week health reporter and author Rachel Zimmerman shares her story of raising two young daughters after her high-achieving husband suddenly died. She had no preparation for how to deal with telling her kids what happened but she instinctively kicked into gear and got the advice she needed. This is an amazing story of strength and love in the aftermath of a death no one saw coming. Meanwhile, her kids are amazing examples of how grief can strengthen relationships and grow into something beautiful. I loved listening to Rachel recount how she prioritized her kids and how that has paid off.

For updates on Rachel's upcoming memoir visit

https://www.rachelzimmerman.net/

To leave comments please rate and review on Apple podcasts or visit me on my substack: "I'm Listening."

Intro and outro music by Josephine Wiggs from her Album "We Fall."

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Parents, there's a bit of profanity in this one but it's a great episode. My friend Mark Lightcap was a young punk when his best friend and bandmate was diagnosed with cancer. Listening to Mark share this amazing, often funny story, I was struck that losing a friend is less destabilizing than losing a family member and allows grief to feel more liberating in some ways. Losing his friend made Mark aware of death and respectful of the immediate aftermath as a unique opportunity for spiritual and intellectual growth. It's a great story. And listen all the way to the end if you like early punk as defined by suburban kids in the early 80s.

Here's a clip of Mark playing music during Covid if you're interested: Mark Lightcap performs You've Been Inside by Acetone

If you'd like to comment on the episode, you can do so here: "I'm Listening."

Intro and outro music by Josephine Wiggs from her Album "We Fall."

Bonus music by Chocolate Crankshaft

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"Kids make you better," Heather said, talking about how much she's learned from parenting her kids after their father died. Heather's husband died a year before the pandemic hit, so she was in survival mode, trying to support her family, be there for her kids and deal with all the uncertainty of Covid. Fear was the undercurrent until she eventually realized she needed to slow down and take care of herself in order to be able to support her kids in the best way possible. It's a great conversation about how Heather carved out her own path, relaxed the reigns around her kids, and discovered all the ways our kids make us better people.

If you enjoy the conversation, I'd love to hear your thoughts. You can leave a review on Apple Podcasts or find me on Substack at "I'm Listening."

Music by Josephine Wiggs from her Album "We Fall."

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This week I'm talking to Austin Liston who entered parenthood fast when he started dating Chad, his now husband, who already had two kids. Then they decided to have more kids and ended up with four foster children. Austin co-hosts the wonderful podcast Best Wives Club with his best friend, Amanda, who happens to be Chad's ex-wife. We talked about how the loss of their birth parents affects his young kids and how he and Chad try to make space for all the feelings that come with that. For someone who had little experience parenting before he found himself co-parenting six kids, Austin has an amazing attitude and sense of humor that makes talking with him extra fun. I really appreciated his unique perspective on the challenges of parenting kids through changes and transitions, especially when you don't have much control over the circumstances.

Music by Josephine Wiggs from her Album "We Fall."

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In this episode I talk to the first of several professionals in the field of childhood and adolescent grief, Jana DeCristafaro from The Dougy Center in Portland, Oregon. Jana is also the host of Grief Out Loud, a great podcast about grief and early loss. The Dougy Center was founded on the idea that grieving teens know how to support each other, in ways that adults might find challenging. Jana explains how this works from the perspective of working directly with adolescents, in their peer-to-peer support groups. "How do we know if a teen is grieving? We know someone in their life died," says Jana. She also talks about how she and her colleagues help adults understand that grief can take many forms and look very different in different kids. She also talks about how parents and community members can gain confidence in their ability to support grieving teens. We talk about grief in the larger culture right now, how that's changing, how it isn't, and how finding the language to talk about it is so important. On that point, Jana mentioned the book "Finding the Words," by Colin Campbell.

Music by Josephine Wiggs from her Album "We Fall."

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This week I talk to Kimberly about how she did her best to navigate her kids' grief, as well as her own, in the wake of her husband's death. Having lost her mother to cancer a few years earlier, Kimberly knew how to deal with medical insurance and doctors, treatments, and surgeries. But as her husband's prognosis worsened, Kimberly and her husband had to do a constant calculus to prepare their kids as much as possible, without overburdening them. It wasn't easy, but she and her kids got through it. After her husband died, Kimberly began the process of becoming a therapist which gives her a great perspective on parenting her kids through multiple losses as they grew into adults.

Music by Josephine Wiggs from her Album "We Fall."

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In this episode, I talk to Nancy and Eric, a couple who didn't realize (or don't remember knowing) that they were in the same club when they met. The club of parent loss is one that no one asks to be in but its members often enjoy lasting bonds. For Nancy and Eric, it has resulted in a long marriage that has endured many hardships. Even though every early grief experience is unique, the impression it makes on young people is often similar. Eric, Nancy, and I had fun discussing the contrasts and the parallels between our histories and how they affected our lives and romantic relationships.

Music by Josephine Wiggs from her Album "We Fall."

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In this episode, I interview my sixteen-year-old son, Skops, who has a lot to say on the subject of grief. He reminded me that I'm doing a show about adolescent grief, so I should have younger guests on, sooner than later. I was intending to save that perspective for later in the season but decided to listen to him. This podcast is all about making adolescent grief more visible by talking about it and listening to all kinds of perspectives on it. Skops had a lot to share about the loss of his older sibling, Keirnan, who died before he was born, and what it was like to be born into a family that was still grieving. He also had a lot to say about media and how social media is helping to open more conversations about grief. I find all of that fascinating and it gives me a lot of hope for his generation.

Music by Josephine Wiggs from her Album "We Fall."

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My close friend, Vivian (Trimble) Lewine died this month so I am dedicating this episode to her.

This interview with another close friend, Raequel London, was the most meaningful one, for me personally, to date. Raequel lost her mother to breast cancer when Raequel was in her twenties. Because she was older, she had the opportunity to see her mother's death coming and to be with her at the end. This brought up old feelings of regret for me since I didn't have that experience. The result is a very moving and healing conversation for both of us. Raequel also talks about her own experience with breast cancer and how it led her to become certified as a health coach. I can attest to her amazing talent as an intuitive and supportive health coach. Our sessions have improved my mental and emotional health in countless ways.

You can find Raequel at https://www.coachraequel.com/

Music by Josephine Wiggs from her Album "We Fall."

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.