Are You Listening?

Laugh at yourself. Be creative. Just a thought.

Stains keep me up at night.

It's true. I have a tendency to obsess over stains on rugs, clothes, bedding, or anywhere else. There's a wine stain on our butcherblock countertop that only I can see. I've spent the last nine years trying to discover new ways of eradicating it. One day, I'll strip, sand, and refinish the whole lot; that will do it.

Most of the time, a stain is something to remove or clean. But in a positive sense, we can call a stain a mark.

Everyone thinks about making a "mark" on the world. And some of us leave negative marks or stains. So, let's just say that a mark is positive and a stain is negative depending on the outcome and most of all, the perspective.

The mind inside of me is always thinking. And today, I realized I'm not much for personal legacy but I am always, even from childhood, considering my impact on the world around me.

I reevaluated some goals recently that some of you may have seen on YouTube. Check it out if want a peek inside my insanity.

Today I have put some action to these goals with other thoughts.

THREE M's of leaving a MARK

MOVE

MEET

MOTIVATE

These three things are not an all-inclusive set of actions that will give me what I want, but they are MY WAY of organizing my life. And for those who know me, you understand this came to me in a nanosecond. I am a living, breathing alliteration factory.

MOVE

This means that I want to enter this phase of my life actively. So, I am going to rekindle my passions for martial arts, biking, strength training, shooting sports, calisthenics, and swimming. I find that when I engage my body my mind seems to be alive and focused. That is why I nearly always take calls and walk. I've recently added a "pedal" under my desk.

Not only is moving good for the body and mind, but it is also good for establishing good connections for creativity, spiritual growth, and prayer. There is something to be said about doing that keeps our mind free to truly be in the moment. A short read of the New Testament letters reveals this practice often.

MEET

I've never been a stranger to strangers. I love meeting new people and lately have been more isolated than not. So, part of the life I desire to live requires being actively involved, to a degree, with others.

This part requires me to prioritize and put FIRST things FIRST.

So, in the relationship portion of "meet" I put my marriage as the top priority over every other relationship. This is key. If my marriage falls cold, everything follows.

Second, my children. All five of them and soon-to-be two grandkids, and the two sons-in-law are a major priority. And while they are not the top, they are as important and often require more time than my wife and I have for each other. But that's OK. We enjoy the adult side of parenting together.

Then comes my relatives, spiritual family, my community, those who depend on me in advocacy, and anyone else that comes along as my neighbor. I have an obligation to them, but never at the cost of the first two. I will write more about these relationships in time.

MOTIVATE

I have little time for leisure. I've tried it. It doesn't suit me at all. I honestly do not care for doing "nothing" and find it causes me stress. Yes, I take time out and I love being alone to write, think, and enjoy some of my more creative interests. But I need to be actively working toward a goal most of the time.

So, motivation includes me, and those around me, toward a goal or desire. I find that most people are stagnant because they are not encouraged, guided, shepherded, and loved. It's amazing to me that so many religious people are bitter, lonely, and hard to be around when they claim to have ultimate 'joy'.

I think it's more important to encourage and motivate other people in life beyond all other interactions or investments available. Time together is always time for encouragement.

Don't hear what I am not saying.

Let's say that Robyn and I are enjoying a nice walk on the beach. We're talking and laughing, enjoying the breeze and each other's company. This is a motivation. This is pressing our intimacy to a deeper level. This causes us to engage with life together. This pursues a goal: the walk is the goal.

There is much to be learned in this journey and much more to be shared.

Take a minute and ask yourself what would leave a MARK on the world that would make you glad.

Rest well. Listen well. Live.

After three years I am restarting this conversation. I hope to get all of you back in the saddle of having a good convo. Take care to watch for my newsletters starting in the next few months. Every Friday-- about some neat and new ideas on living life well for the Glory of Christ.

In a world of verbosity and noise, it appears that the best part of too much is to take in less. "Too Long; Didn't Read"

This isn't a good thing. It's a symptom of overload.

Don't get me wrong. We have to be discriminating in our absorption of information or we will waste a large portion of our lives on fruitless data. When investing in real-life relationships, there is something terrifying about the tl;dr ideology.

There is a need to dive deep, listen long, and take the extra mile with others. Intimacy and true life togetherness only come from longevity, without which, superficial connections can leave marriages, parent-child relationships, and friendships hanging by a thread.

This idea is not new, but it seems to be forgotten or misplaced in our culture thrives on noise and not getting too deep below the surface. Sometimes I envision the average person as one of those lizards that can run on the top of the water, knowing if they stop they'll sink. If we run fast enough, ignoring everything, we can make it to the other side.

What is the other side? Who's there? And will they care to listen to who we are?

Future generations of 'self-help' will surely be focusing on unplugging our social lives and getting into the depths of truly knowing someone else. Here are a few thoughts to get us thinking about how this could be accomplished.

Take Time and Make it Happen

I get it. Life is busy. Time is precious and stress is hard.

Do you know what is even more stressful? When the people who know you the most begin to forget the depths of who you are and vice versa. Schedule a time/day each week to set aside time to talk, enjoy the time, be romantic, be intimate, play, or just look at someone you love. Read a book together, play a game, share a story... but make it a priority. Put it on the calendar until it becomes a pulling force in your life and COMMUNICATE the importance.

Have a Deeper Interest in Others

Tabloids have forever fed the disastrous need for gossip. But having a deeper interest in the lives of your partner, friends, or family is not about getting the scoop, it's about truly caring and desiring a real relationship. We ought to look after our own interests and needs and we do well to avoid self-neglect. At the same time, we ought to look after the needs and interests of others. Not everyone, but those that matter in our lives.

Ask deep questions about those important to you. Discover what you really know about them. Then ask them, wait, and listen. You'll be amazed at how close you become by sharing life like this. This could make TL;DR mean something altogether different.

Focus on Play and Passion

When together, we often have to deal with difficult things, but we can't let that be our only depth. As a matter of fact, it is best to leave that to another time, a scheduled outlier that is often shorter until necessary. When we spend time together with those close to us, it is profitable to focus on enjoying life together with entertaining and fun things that lead to greater passions and closeness.

Answer the questions, "What can we do for fun? How can I share this amazing thing with someone else?" Then notice who you're spending time with and who you're trying to avoid. If the relationship of the latter is vital, rearrange the focus. There is no room for tl;dr in love.

Develop a Culture of Intimacy

This is a huge ask and honestly, I'm working on how this looks for myself. I believe that every step we take, every moment that we give in thought and dedication to ...

https://youtu.be/90zp9afAsn4

I think we need to talk.

Here are some thoughts relating to the future.

I am sure many will have questions, but most of all, I hope everyone has ears to hear and to listen.

The forest for the trees type thingy... ok.

I am particular about being specific. I am also verbose. Writing helps to manage and mature both issues.

I have often prided myself on being myopic in certain disciplines, even dogmatic about important things. We should be, honestly, when it comes to our convictions, our health, our families, etc. But we are not to throw out the rest of the truth (an er, people in our lives) in the name of being focused.

I think myopic and focused are neighbors, but they can also be enemies.

While focus and confidence in our ideas are paramount, these are worthless if we become blind to other people in the process. Sometimes we think we are certain in our understanding of things but our unwillingness to engage with alternative ideas without being triggered reveals a deeper problem. Namely, that our passions are mostly emotionalism rather than sound and reasoned beliefs.

We have to be willing, able, and desirous of learning and discovering not only what other people think and feel, but why. This is central to the human experience and for the spiritual people reading this, it's taught and expounded upon in the Christian scriptures. Part of caring is patience. Part of patience is listening. Part of listening is turning off our instant response arsenal and just existing in the presence of often dumb ideas.

As long as we consider people's ideas dumb, we are not seeing them as peers who are also experiencing life as we are. We quickly forget that everyone is on the journey but we are each in our own place. Loving kindness starts and finishes with true affection, which patiently traverses with the goal of like-mindedness. Bullying and terrorism are not successful methods of change. Our culture needs to learn that quickly. Right behavior and facts don't make a community. Patience in diversity with understanding do.

Eventually, we will all find our own place and people. Until then, keep striving to be a part of a community that is known for the truth of how they love each other, not the truth of their dogma. The latter is a lonely and eternally fruitless place. Remember, there is a context in every thought and conversation. Find it, grow in it, understand it, and help others grow too.

What are some ways that you help other people work through their ideas? What approaches do you have when those who look to you are settled in error? I hope to talk soon.

Love is a term that many people use without meaning or purpose and sometimes it is assigned the wrong definition. God is love and His love toward His elect is a decisive action unto their eternal life, redemption, forgiveness, etc. I want to encourage you to think on this Love of God this year... this day... right now.

There is never a day when I don't have some sense of a spiritual struggle. Even in the best of days, the enemy is at work, my flesh enjoys the ride, and the Spirit within is at war. Thankfully, I don't have to come to rest in my struggle in order to be assured and secure in Christ; he's done that work in my place. But there are many things that I have noticed cause a worse struggle within, namely, some of the things I put into my mind at times...

There is no room for a "close" gospel, and according to Paul in Galatians, any iteration of the gospel that is not pure on both sides is a false gospel. Therefore, those who hold as their hope these nuanced gospels are to be understood as having not been converted as they do not have the truth.

The bible and the brethren are essential "legs" of the Christian's life. Without ONE of these, there is no real or tangible way that any believer will be healthy and growing. Think about this for a minute, and remember, these thoughts are for your perusal, for your thinking... are you listening?