Art Creativity & Wellbeing

Today's episode, originally broadcast in late 2015, is a Your Child Explained, about how to help our kids grow into creative, happy, socially engaged and above all successful adults.

In Tuesday's guest episode, nursery school owner and director Tanya Trainor shared about the changes she, her staff, and the children they serve made to their playground. The traditional slides, climbers, and other big (pricey) equipment typically seen on the playground are gone, and in their place are what Tanya calls “loose parts.”

Tanya shares that loose parts on the playground have translated for them into more social engagement and less redirection/discipline, a result they never expected.

Today's YCE digs more into my conversation with Tanya. Go to weturnedoutokay.com/168 for show notes and key links!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Today’s episode, originally broadcast in late 2015, was super fun to record because I got out of my usual studio and hung out at what’s easily the most amazing playground I’ve ever seen. All of the equipment we see on a typical playground – huge climber, big slide, jungle gym – was gone, and in its place were loose pieces. Bricks, cement pavers, wooden siding, bales of hay, an 8 foot long rowboat, tree stumps suitable for sitting on or rolling around, a rain gutter with a hose near the top: these were some of the many things that replaced more typical playground equipment.

It’s not a huge space, and today’s guest, nursery school director and owner Tanya Trainor of Miss Tanya’s Nursery School, knew that typical equipment would no longer work when, in spring of 2014, she found out that the fall zones required around each piece of equipment were expanding. So, Tanya and her staff did an amazing thing: they asked the children, “when we get rid of the climber out on the playground, what should we replace it with?” Their answers created the wonderful results spread out before me.

Listen to this episode to discover:

1) how these playground changes brought about the wonderful improvement in children's behavior while outside

2) the children's contributions to this new outdoor play space, and the difference contributing has made in their feelings of autonomy and collaboration

3) the dramatic drop in frequency of negative behaviors; Tanya reports far fewer incidents of conflict or need for redirection since moving to the new kind of playground

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/167 for key links and to listen – and have a happy Fourth of July!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Have you ever had it happen where you're asking your child to do something, and he or she is saying "no"?

Depending on your child's age or developmental maturity level, I bet you hear that word – "no" – an awful lot.

Today's ninja tactic digs into one way to cut down on the noes!

It's all about giving kids directives instead of asking, which sounds simple but in reality can be pretty complicated: when do we give them choices, ask questions, and when is it time to give a directive and communicate to them that "this is not a choice"?

Click weturnedoutokay.com/166 for show notes and key links to this episode!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

One member of the Ninja Parenting Community might be channeling your thoughts right now: "Oh why do little kids obsess over certain movies? I have been putting Monsters Versus Aliens on every day for a month. What is going on those little brains that makes them demand the same movie so often for so long?"

Kids do this all the time… and not just with movies, they do it with books, and stories, and music, too.

In this Your Child Explained, we dig into why, exactly what's happening in "those little brains" that makes them want everything repeated endlessly.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/165 for key links and show notes!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Normally, in a We Turned Out Okay guest episode, it's me doing the interviewing… but today that format gets turned on its head!

Recently the gentleman behind the Blessing Not Stressing podcast, Rob Broadhead, invited me onto his show. He's such a great interviewer and the idea behind the show is such a lovely one that of course I said "yes please" – and as we spoke I knew I wanted you to be able to listen in as well.

Rob splits his conversations into several episodes; on this WTOO episode today we're bringing you the middle two, "School of Hard Knocks" and "Mistakes and Forgiveness."

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/164 for links to both the first and final portions of my conversation with Rob. I hope you enjoy listening to this conversation as much as I enjoyed participating in it!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

These last several Just You and Me episodes have been about important stuff: being happier at home, having well-behaved children in public, helping kids resolve their own conflicts.

They've each hinged on one particular idea: that the toys kids play with and what's in their environment, can really change their behavior. (Head back to episodes 154, 157, and 160 for the rest of the "Loose Parts" series.)

Today's episode is about how to actually make these changes – without spending much, if any, money and without driving yourself bananas at the same time…

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/163 for key links and the promised free PDF of what to bring in to replace all those 1-trick toys that you're tripping all over at home!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Do you tell your kids how beautiful they are, or how smart they are? This past Tuesday's conversation with Nicole Gardner reminded me once more how dangerous praise – at least the wrong kind of praise – is.Read the show notes for today's episode, about how to make sure you're giving the right kind of praise (and not the harmful kind of praise) by clicking the link below…

You'll also find an installment of my new YouTube video series, Parents Time-Out, that addresses this issue as well – if you've only got a few minutes, but you want to understand how praise can hurt, the video is the place to start.

Go to weturnedoutokay.com/162 to check it out, and have a great day!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Recently I attended a presentation about all the key stuff happening in our kids' brains, in which today's guest, Nicole Gardner of the Bezos Family Foundation, shared research, stories, and ideas that resonated so deeply with me, I knew I needed to get her on the show.

I learned that:
– babies' brains create millions – millions! – of new neurons every second
– young kids are all set to learn what they need to know, they come equipped with the best educational tools built-in
– the single most important learning tool they need from their environment: trusted adults

Today's conversation dives into raising kids in the best possible environment, taking advantage of the science around this subject and really cultivating a great relationship with our kids – something we want anyway, right?

Click weturnedoutokay.com/161 for show notes and key links, including to a really cool app for parents, the Daily Vroom!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Does your child ever get into arguments, verbal or otherwise? What's your instinct when this happens – do you want to jump in and smooth everything over?

That's not an unusual reaction, because we parents really hate it when our kids fight!

In this Just You and Me episode, we dig into why "smoothing everything over" is detrimental to our children's development, and what to do instead.

Click weturnedoutokay.com/160 for show notes and key links, including to the wonderful conversation I had while sitting out on the playground – where kids played as we spoke – at Miss Tanya's Nursery School!

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe

Each week I send out a "what's on the podcast this week" email to people who signed up for a free guide or a free online class – and this week, I screwed up royally about an episode of We Turned Out Okay!

I wrote the email update for this past week well before I recorded the episode that went up this past Thursday, and as a result what I said would be this week's Your Child Explained episode wasn't.

If you received the email and you were scratching your head about it, I'm so sorry!

I recorded this bonus episode to make it up to you…

In it, I answer two issues, both brought up by a member of the Ninja Parenting Community (it had been a pretty rough couple of weeks for this member, making me so glad she had us to turn to):

1) "Part of the challenge I'm having is with exaggerated statements like "writing kills me" or "you always make me do this."

2) "Later there was a meltdown about wanting Daddy, instead of Mommy."

I address both issues in this bonus episode, I hope it's helpful!

PS – Want to get on my email list yourself? Go to weturnedoutokay.com and click the image link in the sidebar (you'll know which one : )

PS again – head over to https://weturnedoutokay.com/ninja-parenting-community-login/ to see how you could become a member of the Ninja Parenting Community.

This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit kaylockkolp.substack.com/subscribe