As Long As I'm Living

Just for fun, Judith (a Sagittarius) and Alina (a Capricorn) take a look back at their horoscopes from 2021, and look ahead at 2022. Wishing all of our listeners a happier new year.

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you.

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- Judith's 2021 and 2022 yearly horoscopes!

- Alina's 2021 and 2022 yearly horoscopes! 

- Alina's Grieving Mary recipe

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

You may know her as Chloe, but she is here to introduce her REAL self! Meet Kaylee: Alina's ex-husband, current wife, soon to be ex-wife, and Quinn's (other) parent. Even though she and Alina lost the same baby and the same marriage, their perspectives are very different. Listen to her share about the losses she's experienced this year and the challenges of transitioning while in the throes of grief. We think she has a lot to add, and we were so happy to give her a chance to talk about her life the past year. 

Baby loss is sad. Divorce is sad. This episode is sad. But Kaylee has a lot of really wonderful insight, and we hope you enjoy this episode as much as we enjoyed recording it. 

You can follow Kaylee on Instagram @kayleecodes0!

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you.

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

Let's talk triggers! What are they? What does it feel like to be triggered? Can they be avoided? We share some real life examples and laugh about how ridiculous they probably sound to outsiders. Enjoy!

We recorded some of this episode live on our instagram, so make sure to go check that out if you want to see us struggle to use technology! Ha. Linked here!

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you.

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

What are you supposed to do with your dead baby's stuff? Judith and Alina have a LOT of thoughts about this topic. A LOT OF THOUGHTS. This is a long one!

Content note: in this episode we touch on the circumstances of our sons' deaths for a minute or two. If mention of CPR on an infant, finding a dead body, or anything of the like would be too triggering for you, this might be a good one to skip.

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you.

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Things we talk about in this episode:

Mother's Milk Bank Northeast

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

Today is Aiden's first birthday. Listen to a note from Judith and hear how her family celebrated him this year.

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Things we talk about in this episode:

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

Everything went smoothly (well, as smoothly as possible) for Judith on November 30th. But for some reason she doesn't actually feel that much better? It's probably because her son is still dead.

Note: lots of discussion of Judith's current pregnancy and her anxiety about it. Please take care of yourself if this content is too triggering for you right now.

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you.

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

On November 30th, Judith had the anatomy scan for her current pregnancy. She also moved. It was also her son Aiden's Hebrew birthday. And the last day of income for her family from her husband's lost job. It was a big, hard day.

Note: lots of discussion of Judith's current pregnancy and her anxiety about it. Please take care of yourself if this content is too triggering for you right now.

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you.

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

Sending a care package to someone newly bereaved, or trying to buy a gift for your grieving loved one this holiday season? Listen for our recommendations for things that will be used and appreciated.

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Judith's Aiden necklace

Em and Friends Empathy Cards

Alina's favorite pajamas

Alina's favorite candle

Judith's watercolor set

Option B, Sheryl Sandberg

Untamed, Glennon Doyle

It's OK That You're Not OK, Megan Devine

How To Carry What Can't Be Fixed, Megan Devine

You Are Not Alone, Emily Long

Quinn's memory box

Your grieving loved ones are so brave and so strong. But maybe don't tell them that? Judith and Alina attempt to explain why.

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you.

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Things we talk about in this episode:

- It's OK That You're Not OK - Megan Devine's INCREDIBLE book about grief

- @refugeingrief - Megan Devine's instagram account

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

We here at As Long As I'm Living are NOT proponents of gratitude policing, forcing yourself to only see the good, or toxic positivity. Our original plan for this week was an episode called F*** Thanksgiving, because a couple weeks ago when we were planning it out, neither of us felt grateful at all. But, as with anything else in grieving, things change by the day. If you are sick and tired of Thanksgiving content and do not feel like giving thanks, please know you have our absolute support in skipping this episode entirely. We will have a regular, non-Thanksgiving, episode for you tomorrow.

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Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at @aslongasimlivingpodcast, send us an email at [email protected], or visit us at anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you.

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Things we talk about in this episode:

Empty Arms Bereavement Support

Roberts Program at Boston Children's Hospital

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As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.