thats popularity contest decision making    ignores the laws and stuff     

trump was attacking leavitt, then i said that it was happening because she is pregnant and is about to leave, but instead they are muting me , and now its a popularity contest again

i keep getting situations turned around on me    

i get the feeling they wanted to mute me to make it easier for karoline leavitt.   i was the one who was bringing up that the job may be too stressful for someone in her position. but instead they thought they could make the job easier for karoline leavitt by muting me. at least temporarily.  i dont think these folks are making good decisions really.   that is kind of a social problem. i dont understand that , but it seems like a social popularity thing. 

i dont expect some of you reading this to understand. just like i wouldnt expect a worm to understand if i asked it to turn left or right.

im pretty sure the people who were born in to a family of engineers are happy that they were not born in to a family of pastors right now   they dont have to deal with the pressure of it 

some people are born in to a family of engineers.   some people are born in to a family of pastors.  i was unfortunately born in to a family where there was one "well ish" known pastor.   he wasnt even nice to me.    i would prefer that i was born in to a family of something else.    all the other people in my family were in healthcare, military, other things.  but that one pastor guy is like the only thing anyone wanted to talk about. he didnt even like me. i only met him a couple of times before he died.

if it was you, you auditioned somewhere 10 years ago, then for 10 years they illegally alienate you , and you also were never allowed to participate after the audition, what would you do. or what would you think is going on with that 

since this all started about gateway, i would like to say just because you are a pastor, it doesnt mean much. kind of referring to my own ties to that.  most of the time when i heard robert morris talking it was incoherent.  also, i would like to say there is something about a video that kari jobe had where there is this little glitter or some kind in the video it looks supernatural. that image is what has held me thinking there is nothing you can say to this person, kind of like whats his face, weinstein.   but the thing about the video, you never know if they added stuff like that in to the videos by editing it.   like six months before i went around with those folks, i really wasnt worried about religion.  for some retarded reason, i thought it would be a good idea to try to be a part of their singing group.   but it ruined my life.   i have learned a terrible lesson about people who are talking about religion  and like   once someone starts talking to you about it    its like they are you can never escape them        i am not talking bad about kari jobe, but i dont think about her, but i do remember a part of her video where it looked like something supernatural happened in the video and because i saw that i have felt like there is nothing i can do to get away from her  or gateway      they could have edited the videos    there is a lot of asking for money and things like that in their circles    they ask people to always give 10 percent of any of the money they have or else they are considered disobedient     all of the people that i met after college that are tied to those things are religious extremists i believe   

if they reached out to you buzzsprout. that is already the first clue. they did not reach out to me.