i guess, imagine if you had two children and you worked a lot and one of your older children was sexually abusing your younger child but didnt know. then a babysitter of the same gender came over to babysit your younger child but they also sexually abused your child. then you die and your child moves over to a cousins house and asks a cousin if they want to kiss. that is what happened. and i dont think i was ever able to escape that even though i apologized to susan more than one time. she was still angry at me as an adult