Opening a relationship doesn't always unfold equally, and that imbalance can put enormous pressure on both partners.One of you is thriving, meeting people, exploring. The other is waiting, wondering, and doesn't yet know if they even want this—because they haven't really had the chance to find out. It's one of the most common and least talked-about growing pains in ENM and polyamorous transitions.In Episode 6 of The Ask Jess & Dave Show, we tackle a real listener question about exactly this dynamic: How does the partner with more opportunities keep exploring without collapsing into guilt, people-pleasing, or feeling responsible for fixing the imbalance? And how does the partner with fewer opportunities figure out whether ENM is actually right for them when they haven't yet had enough experience to really know?Drawing on insights from our book Polywise, this one is essential watching for anyone navigating the uneven terrain of opening up.Got a question about love, relationships, or inner healing & transformation? Send it to [email protected]

What if doing the work isn't enough?

For anxious-avoidant couples, individual healing can only go so far. Because the trigger isn't just inside you — it's in the space between you. In Episode 5 of The Ask Jess & Dave Show, Jess & Dave get into the deeper mechanics of why the anxious-avoidant dance persists even when both partners are self-aware, growth-oriented, and genuinely trying — and what it actually takes to shift the dynamic at the relational level, not just the individual one.

Got a question about love, relationships, or inner healing & transformation? Send it to [email protected]

How do you know if someone is genuinely polyamorous — or just looking for a way out?Because here's the thing: when done with real integrity, opening a relationship doesn't shed obligations — it adds them. It implies more accountability. More transparency. More reassurance. More of the unglamorous, unsexy labor of loving people well. So if someone's vision of "more love" somehow comes with fewer responsibilities to the people they already have — that's a tell. They're not expanding their capacity for commitment. They could be looking for the door.Ethical non-monogamy isn't defined by the permissions it grants. It's defined by the work it demands.In this episode, we also explore the tension between a partner's urgency for freedom, exploration, and independence — and the other partner's very real need for safety and secure attachment. And what it looks like when those two things are moving at very different speeds.Drawing on insights from our book Polywise, this episode is essential watching whether you're navigating non-monogamy yourself, questioning a partner's motivations, or just trying to understand what ethical relating actually requires.Got a question about love, relationships, or inner healing & transformation? We want to hear it — send it to [email protected]

In Episode 3 of The Ask Jess & Dave Show, we explore one of the most quietly painful and under-discussed dynamics in long-term relationships. Because the real question isn't just about sex — it's about what the absence of it means.Is it a conscious, mutual choice? Or is it a symptom of something deeper — emotional disconnection, relational neglect, not feeling seen, heard, or understood? Resentments that have quietly built up over time through criticism, defensiveness, and emotional distance? Those are very different situations — and they have very different impacts on your wellbeing and your nervous system.We also talk about asexuality — what it actually means to be ace, how it differs from low libido or celibacy, and how it exists on a spectrum. Because for some people, a sexless relationship isn't a problem to solve — it's simply how they're wired.Whether you're in this situation, have been, or are just curious — this one is worth a watch!Got a question about love, relationships, or inner healing & transformation? Send it to us at [email protected]

Do you and your partner keep fighting about the same things — and can't even agree on what actually happened? Or maybe someone in the relationship keeps assuming they know exactly what their partner thinks or feels, and no amount of "that's not true" seems to change it.

In Episode 2 of The Ask Jess & Dave Show, we're getting into two of the most stuck-feeling dynamics in relationships — and what you can actually do about them.

In this first episode of Ask Jess and Dave, we dig into the question: What is criticism really doing in a relationship? Not as a communication style to be managed or a bad habit to be curbed, but as a signal — a warning sign pointing toward deeper dynamics that are asking for awareness, understanding, and care. Drawing on our combined clinical and lived experience, we explore what life actually looks and feels like when criticism isn't part of the relational culture, why so many of us have come to accept it as inevitable, and what it means when we do. This is a conversation about what's possible when partners stop tolerating what doesn't belong, and start getting curious about what's underneath it.