Asking For a Friend

What does a life well-lived look like?  How can we live in a way that people will say good things about us when we’re gone?  That’s how Solomon finishes Ecclesiastes: his commentary on life under the sun.  He gives us practical advice on finishing life well under the sun:

* How to avoid foolishness by asking yourself two powerful questions.

* The value of hard work over entitlement.

* Sharpening your axe rather than banging at trees with a dull blade.

* Making good money decisions and leaving an inheritance for your grandkids.

* Knowing what you’re about and have a bias toward action.  This keeps your “want tos” from turning into your “I wish I would haves.”

Finally, he reminds us the value of choosing joy in every season of life.  Whether we’re young or old, joy is a decision we have to intentionally make.  Perhaps the greatest key to choosing joy is a healthy fear of God—the one thing Solomon advises above all else.

His reasoning is simple: a healthy fear of God frees you from fearing anything life might throw at you.  Once we know what it means to fear God, we’ll never truly know fear again.

(This message is based on Ecclesiastes 10.1-12.14)

Regardless of how healthy we are, how much bottled water we drink, and how many hours we spend doing cardio, one thing is still certain: we’re going to die one day.  The death rate has always been one-per-person.

From God’s perspective, this means death is not an accident.  It’s an appointment.

Still, for many, it’s an unnerving appointment.  When our loved ones die, survivors find it to be a painful, sad appointment.  But in spite of the regularity of death, we never quite get to a point where we’re “ok” with it—especially when it means losing someone we hold dear.

Often, death—and all of its accompanying sorrow—causes us to ask: What’s the point?

Why are we allowed to live and love if we’re just going to die anyway?

That’s what Solomon addresses this week.  His conclusion: based on your view of God, death either renders everything utterly meaningless or beautifully meaningful.

(This message is based on Ecclesiastes 9.1-18)

Regardless of our background or belief system, one unavoidable truth is the existence of pain.  Sometimes, life just hurts.

It hurts physically and emotionally—to be sure.  Other pain is so severe it seems to cut straight to our soul.  This pain—spiritual pain—can cause us to question our deepest-held convictions, threatening our identity and sense of purpose.

Pain is only compounded when we can’t find its source.  Pain without meaning or explanation only adds insult to injury.  Put simply: pain that doesn’t make sense is the hardest pain to carry.

This is the reason we scramble to find answers.  If we learn something from a painful experience, that can often dampen the discomfort—especially if the pain seems warranted or self-inflicted as the result of bad decision-making.

We call this karma: what goes around, comes around.  Bad things happening to bad people, and good things happening to good people.  It’s simple.  It’s fair.  It’s understandable and sometimes comforting.

But, what about when that’s not the case?  Sometimes, you can do all the right things and still get hurt.  Or sick.  Or fired.  Or divorced.  What’s up with that?

Why do bad things happen to good people?

This is the topic Solomon turns to next.  He’s honest about how often life just isn’t fair.  As he rants against the injustice he sees, he comes to two conclusions: (1) Karma doesn’t work; it’s not the way the world operates, and (2) There’s something much better than karma anyway.

(This message is based on Ecclesiastes 7.1-15 - 9.1)

Sometimes, we just get stuck.  Even after praying, reading your Bible, consulting some fortune cookies, and phoning a friend, there are still times when we just don't know whether to zig or zag.

Do I stay or go?  Do I take the job, or do I turn it down?  Accept the proposal?  Start having babies?  Move my family to a new town?  One hamburger or two?

Often, the choice isn't as easy as right vs wrong.  Life is more complicated than that.  What do you do when both options seem right?  Or if you're forced to choose from a bunch of bad scenarios?  What do you do when you don't know what to do?

This is what the wise old Solomon turns to next.  He starts painting with a wide brush, offering a rapid-fire collection of general insights broad enough to fit any number of situations.  We receive guidance on building a legacy, seeking good feedback, enduring frustration, and cooperating with the inevitable.

Regardless of where you find yourself stuck, Solomon's guidance here is at least enough to keep you moving in the right direction.

(This message is based on Ecclesiastes 7.1-15)

Money.  Whether you have a little or a lot, it's a topic we all care about.  It's a topic God cares about too.  He talks about it often.  Jesus taught about it frequently.  Solomon covers it in great detail.

In spite of all the guidance, we still think a lot of wrong things about money.

We hold tightly to mythical ideas about money--usually without any idea as to where those myths came from.  Most of our money myths fall into one of two extremes: we love it or we hate it.  We live for it, or we live in fear of it.

Neither extreme is fair though.  People who have money aren't necessarily evil.  "Poor people" aren't automatically righteous.  Money isn't the root of all evil, and poverty isn't a fast track to salvation.

Why do we give money so much prestige?  Why do we use it to keep score?  Why do we have so many bad ideas about how it fits into our lives?

Solomon addresses all of this and more.  His philosophy on money is different than the one many of us are used to.  Allowing him to guide our understanding will restore money to its proper place in life.  This small shift can replace our money anxieties with the one thing we're all chasing: contentment.

(This message is based on Ecclesiastes 5.8-6.12)

The book of Ecclesiastes is a survival manual for a world where survival is not guaranteed.  It bypasses philosophy and academic arguments that seem to have little bearing on our lives.  Instead, it's full of help for people who are just trying to make it every day.

At this point in his book, Solomon turns his attention to how we feel when "making it" feels less and less probable.  During those difficult seasons, we've all wondered: Can I just get God to do what I want?

Please?  At least once?  I'm doing everything I know to do down here, but God doesn't seem to be doing his part.  So, now what am I supposed to do?

Regardless of what we're supposed to do, there are plenty of things we try to do in an effort to make God behave the way we think he should.  Maybe you've tried to buy him off with a bunch of good deeds or a hefty donation?  If not, you might try talking him into submission so he finally admits you're right.  At some point, we've all tried to make a deal with him.  "God, if you get me through this, I promise I will..."

What do you do when none of those tactics work?  In spite of all your efforts, the tumors keep growing, the spouse keeps leaving, or the friends stop calling?

How do we pray or listen to God when it feels like he stopped taking our phone calls?

These are the heavy questions Solomon helps us navigate.  At the end, he suggests something far more realistic--and fulfilling--than anything we could imagine.

(This message is based on Ecclesiastes 5.1-7)

Loneliness is the default state of human existence.  If intentional steps aren't taken--by ourselves or someone else--we'll end up lonely.  The Beatles said it well:

All the lonely people

Where do they all come from?

All the lonely people

Where do they all belong

Loneliness may also be the most painful emotion a person will ever experience.  It is difficult to imagine something more difficult than not having friends or family in our lives.  We can endure many things, but loneliness doesn't seem to be one of them.  The first negative statement in the Bible attests to this: It is not good for man to be alone (Gen 2.18).  Consequently, without companionship, the human soul will never feel joy or contentment.

It's important to understand: loneliness is not the same as being alone.  It has nothing to do with marital status, having kids, or being picked to join a team or be in a club.  Loneliness goes deeper than that.  It's the absence of connection.  It's the absence of friendship.

Friendships are the result of knowing and being known by another person.  That takes work--work and a genuine concern for other people.  Rather than put in the work, we often allow laziness or good old-fashioned selfishness to stand between us and a good friendship.

It's nothing short of tragic.

A good friendship will keep you warm during a cold season of life.  A friend will make good times better and bad times bearable.  Friends lighten the load, watch your back, and help you out when you're in a tough spot.  Friends are the people who answer our calls for help with no expectation of being paid back.  They're just there for us, and we're there for them.

Solomon unpacks all of this and more in his powerful message on companionship.

(This message is based on Ecclesiastes 4)

Somewhere around adolescence, most of us start to understand that life on earth will not always go the way we want.  Try as we might, some things just aren't going to go our way.  For Christians, this is often explained as a natural consequence of living in a broken world.

True: we're not in heaven yet, so pain--at times--is to be expected.

But, does life always have to feel that way?  No.

There is also plenty of joy to be found now--on this side of eternity.  The key to not making life any harder than it already has to be lies in asking a powerful question:

What season of life am I in right now?

Frustration comes when we dress for rain on a sunny day, or when we leave the umbrella at home--even though the forecast called for a storm.

Wise people are (1) always aware of the changing seasons, and (2) preparing accordingly.  In Ecclesiastes 3, Solomon guides us through an exercise to remain aware of which season of life we're passing through.  Only after we're aware of the season can we accurately set our expectations and chart our course.

(This message is based on Ecclesiastes 3)

At some point in time, we (humans with a conscience) started thinking of God as a “cosmic killjoy” who is always watching to make sure we aren’t having too much fun down here on earth.  As a result, many of us spend our lives bouncing back and forth between indulgence and remorse.

Solomon wasn’t one for remorse, but he set the standard when it came to indulgence. Scoffing at the idea of delayed gratification, Solomon chased the desires of his heart until he ran out of desires.  And out of heart.

He found hedonism to be utterly underwhelming.

However, his solution wasn’t to abandon joy for a life of boredom and compromise. Thankfully, Solomon was too wise and too human for that.

Eventually, Solomon realized his search for pleasure and joy was half-hearted and shallow—not because of what he was searching for, but because of where he was looking and how easily he was giving up.

He didn’t want too much. He was settling for too little. As a human, he was created for deeper joy and fuller pleasure than anything the desires of his heart could lead him to.

The key to that kind of pleasure and satisfaction lies at the Source itself. It’s beyond the scope of religion, and it’s more gratifying than any addiction.

(This message is based on Ecclesiastes 2)

If it's possible for a book to know you--to see inside your heart and speak to your fears and doubts--Ecclesiastes is that book.

If you've ever been frustrated--with anything, ever--Solomon has something to say about it.  He may not always tell you what you want to hear, but that's when you know he's telling you what you need to hear.

And what we need to hear is a message so honest--so realistic and so liberating--that it changes the way we interpret the world and our role in it.

In the first chapter, Solomon addresses how meaningless life can feel.  Our days on earth often seem pointless, monotonous, and repetitive.

Many of us believe in life after death.  What Solomon wants to know is: is there life before death?  Is it possible to escape the treadmill of work and worry and regret?