When betrayal shatters your world, where do you begin rebuilding?

In this episode of AuDHD and Then Some, I sit down with author, speaker and betrayal trauma advocate Roxanna Johnson to explore the devastating impact of discovering a partner’s sexual addiction, pornography addiction or infidelity—and, most importantly, how healing is possible.

Roxanna shares her own deeply personal story after discovering her husband’s secret sexual addiction after almost 24 years of marriage. Together we discuss betrayal trauma, trust, boundaries, forgiveness, detaching with love, people-pleasing, shame, rebuilding your identity, and what recovery can look like whether your partner chooses healing or not.

We also explore whether neurodivergent people, including those with ADHD and autism, may experience betrayal, rejection and uncertainty differently, and how emotional regulation, rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), hypervigilance and black-and-white thinking can influence the healing journey.

Whether you’re recovering from betrayal, supporting someone who is, or simply want to understand the psychology of trust and trauma, this conversation offers compassion, practical insights and hope.

In this episode we discuss:

• What betrayal trauma is and why it hurts so deeply

• Sexual addiction, pornography addiction and partner betrayal

• Healthy boundaries vs trying to control someone else

• Detaching with love

• Forgiveness and rebuilding trust

• People-pleasing and shame

• Rebuilding your identity after betrayal

• Betrayal trauma in ADHD and autistic adults

• Finding hope after heartbreak

Connect with Roxanna Johnson:

https://forgottenspouse.com

If this episode helped you, please follow AuDHD and Then Some, leave a review, and share it with someone who may need to hear this conversation.

Trigger warning

Can childhood trauma shape the person we become? Can healing rewrite the story we’ve spent a lifetime believing? In this powerful episode of AuDHD and Then Some, Ellie sits down with Simone Boyer, author of Chasing Light and founder of The Light Within Collective, for an honest conversation about trauma, addiction, survival, recovery, and finding hope after profound loss.

Simone shares her remarkable journey from childhood trauma, addiction, and near-death experiences to discovering purpose, self-worth, and healing. Together, Ellie and Simone explore how trauma creates survival responses such as hypervigilance, people-pleasing, codependency, and perfectionism—and why understanding the language of survival is the first step towards lasting change.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

• ​How childhood trauma influences adult relationships and behaviour.
• ​Why survival mechanisms aren’t personality flaws.
• ​The power of inner child work and reparenting.
• ​Breaking free from toxic family dynamics.
• ​Finding compassion for yourself after trauma.
• ​Hope, resilience, recovery, and rebuilding a meaningful life.

Whether you’re healing from childhood trauma, navigating addiction recovery, living with neurodivergence, or supporting someone you love, this conversation offers practical insights, validation, and a powerful reminder that your past does not have to define your future.

If you’ve ever wondered whether healing is possible, this episode is for you. Your story isn’t over yet—and neither is your light.

Why does rejection feel so overwhelming? Why do so many AuDHD people apologise constantly, struggle to say no, and put everyone else’s needs before their own?

In this episode of AuDHD and Then Some, Ellie is joined by Tasha for an open and honest conversation about Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), people pleasing, masking, and the emotional impact of growing up feeling misunderstood.

Together, they explore why rejection can feel physically painful, how people pleasing often develops as a survival strategy, and why setting boundaries can be one of the hardest—but most important—things neurodivergent people learn to do.

Whether you’re autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, or simply relate to the fear of letting people down, this episode will help you understand that you’re not “too sensitive”—your experiences make sense.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)

• People pleasing and trauma responses

• ADHD, autism and AuDHD

• Masking and self-abandonment

• Boundaries without guilt

• Fear of rejection

• Emotional regulation

• Self-worth and healing

If this conversation resonates with you, this month’s workbook in the Ellie AuDHD Subscribers Hub explores RSD and people pleasing in more depth, with practical exercises and gentle reflections to help you understand yourself with greater compassion.

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow AuDHD and Then Some, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs the reminder that they were never “too much”—they were simply trying to survive in a world that didn’t always understand them.

#AuDHD #ADHD #Autism #Neurodivergent #RSD #PeoplePleasing #Boundaries #Masking #MentalHealth #EmotionalRegulation

If you’ve ever wondered whether your child’s behaviour is typical development or a sign of ADHD, autism or another neurodevelopmental difference, this episode is for you.

In this episode of AuDHD and Then Some, I sit down with Dr. Inyang Takon, Consultant Neurodevelopmental Paediatrician with over 30 years of clinical experience, to discuss the early signs of ADHD and autism, why early intervention matters, and how parents can access the right support.

Together, we explore:

• The early signs of ADHD and autism in children

• When parents should seek an assessment

• What happens during the diagnostic process

• ADHD medication and non-medication support

• Practical strategies for families and schools

• Common myths about neurodivergence

• The impact of culture and stigma on diagnosis and support

• How parents can move from confusion to clarity

Dr. Takon shares compassionate, evidence-based advice that empowers parents, carers and professionals to better understand and support neurodivergent children.

Whether you’re raising a neurodivergent child, working in education, or simply want to learn more about ADHD, autism and early intervention, this conversation is packed with practical insights and reassurance.

🔗 Find Dr. Inyang Takon:

Website: https://www.drtakon.com

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow AuDHD and Then Some, leave a rating or review, and share this episode with someone who might find it helpful. Your support helps more people discover honest conversations about AuDHD, ADHD, autism and neurodiversity.

🎙️ Trauma, Masking & Addiction in AuDHD | Susan Eileen on Healing, Identity & Unmasking

What if the masks you’ve worn your whole life weren’t your personality, but survival strategies?

In this thought-provoking episode of AuDHD and Then Some, Ellie is joined by author Susan Eileen to explore the complex relationship between trauma, ADHD, autism, AuDHD, masking, addiction and healing.

Together, they discuss the differences between neurodivergent masking and trauma masking, why so many late-diagnosed adults struggle to know who they really are, and how unresolved trauma can shape our relationships, behaviours and sense of self.

Susan also shares her perspective on addiction, explaining why she believes trauma often sits at the heart of addictive behaviours, and introduces the concept of survival masks such as the people pleaser, the martyr and the loner. The conversation also explores boundaries, self-compassion, generational wounds, and what healing can look like for neurodivergent adults.

Whether you’re autistic, ADHD, AuDHD, a trauma survivor, or simply trying to understand yourself more deeply, this episode offers an honest, compassionate conversation that encourages reflection and curiosity.

In this episode:

• ADHD, autism and AuDHD

• Trauma vs neurodivergent masking

• Addiction and the neurodivergent brain

• People pleasing and survival responses

• Generational trauma and healing

• Boundaries and self-compassion

• Late diagnosis and identity

• Unmasking your authentic self

If this episode resonates with you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who might need to hear this conversation today. 💜

What if the goal wasn’t to fit into a neurotypical world, but to build a life that actually works for your brain?

In this episode of AuDHD and Then Some, I’m joined by neurodivergent coach, educator, and founder of Neurodiverging, Danielle Sullivan. We explore how autistic and ADHD people can stop fighting their brains and start building lives around their unique strengths, needs, and ways of thinking.

We discuss:

• Building a life around your strengths instead of your struggles

• ADHD, autism and AuDHD

• Burnout and why it happens

• Reducing shame and embracing self-acceptance

• Emotional regulation and practical strategies

• Late diagnosis and understanding yourself

• Danielle’s new book, Embracing Your ADHD Brain

This is a compassionate, practical conversation for anyone wanting to better understand their neurodivergent brain and create a life that feels sustainable, authentic, and fulfilling.

#ADHD #Autism #AuDHD #Neurodiversity #Neurodivergent #ADHDPodcast #AutismPodcast #Burnout #ExecutiveFunction #SelfAcceptance

What if there were ways to spot potential warning signs before a relationship causes lasting damage?

In this episode, Ellie sits down with Justin Smith, founder of Cray, a dating safety app created following his own experience of an eight-year relationship that he describes as emotionally abusive and deeply traumatic.

Justin shares the story behind Cray, how his experiences affected his physical and emotional wellbeing, and why rebuilding his life led him to create a tool designed to help others think more carefully about red flags, manipulation and relationship safety.

But this isn't simply a conversation about an app.

Ellie asks some challenging questions along the way. Who decides what counts as a red flag? Can something considered unhealthy in one relationship be completely acceptable in another? How much does circumstance matter? And how do we make sure our own experiences don't become the standard by which everybody else's relationships are judged?

Justin openly explains his thinking and the reasoning behind Cray, while Ellie offers alternative perspectives and questions some of the broader assumptions surrounding relationships, dating and modern culture.

They discuss:

• How childhood experiences can influence adult relationships

• Recognising potential warning signs and manipulative behaviour

• Why context matters when discussing relationship red flags

• Justin's experience of rebuilding after relationship trauma

• How Cray's scoring and safety features work

• Online dating, catfishing and AI

• The difference between personal boundaries and universal red flags

• Why Justin believes education around dating safety needs to start earlier

• Cray's work with colleges and students

• Whether technology can really help us make safer relationship decisions

It's an open, sometimes challenging and thought-provoking conversation in which host and guest don't automatically agree on everything, and that's exactly what makes the discussion interesting.

Whether you're navigating online dating, rebuilding after a difficult relationship, or simply interested in how we decide what healthy relationships actually look like, this episode offers plenty to think about.

Find out more about Cray at cray.app or search “Cray – Dating Safety” in the Apple App Store or Google Play Store.

Nobody talks about how painful nostalgia can be when you’re neurodivergent.

Not because you miss the past more than anyone else—but because so much of your life was spent just trying to get through it.

When your nervous system is constantly in survival mode, it’s hard to be fully present. Even in the moments you’ve waited for, dreamed about, or thought would finally make everything feel okay.

Then years later, you find yourself desperately trying to remember them. Trying to hold onto moments that never had the chance to fully sink in because your brain was focused on surviving, not storing memories.

That’s the heartbreak.

It’s not just grieving the past.

It’s grieving the version of you that never got to fully experience it.

If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. ❤️

Why do so many of us find ourselves repeating the same relationship patterns? How do we recognise red flags, recover from narcissistic abuse, and learn to trust ourselves again?

In this episode of AuDHD and Then Some, I’m joined by relationship pattern coach, dating coach, and narcissistic abuse recovery coach Virginia McConnell. We explore why unhealthy relationship dynamics can repeat, how manipulation affects our self-trust, the warning signs many people miss, and what healing can look like after a toxic relationship.

We also discuss the possible crossover between neurodivergence and unhealthy relationship dynamics, including why some autistic and ADHD individuals may struggle with boundaries, people-pleasing, or recognising manipulation.

Whether you’re recovering from a toxic relationship, interested in narcissistic abuse recovery, or simply want to build healthier relationships, this conversation is packed with practical insights and compassionate advice.

You can learn more about Virginia, explore her coaching, and take her free relationship quizzes at breakthepatterns.net.

If you enjoyed this episode, please follow AuDHD and Then Some, leave a review, and share it with someone who might find it helpful.

#AuDHD #ADHD #Autism #Neurodivergent #NarcissisticAbuse #ToxicRelationships #RelationshipPatterns #MentalHealth #Healing #Boundaries #SelfTrust #Podcast

Due to internet signal issues during recording, this conversation had to be split into two parts. We kept getting cut off, but the discussion was far too important not to share, so we’ve released it as Part 1 and Part 2.

In Part 1, I’m joined by Dave Kopney, alongside the brilliant Man on Pause, who asks some incredibly thoughtful and insightful questions throughout the conversation.

Together we explore addiction, harm reduction, recovery, lived experience, and the realities behind substance use without judgement or stigma.

Topics include:

• Harm reduction

• Addiction & recovery

• Mental health

• Trauma

• Lived experience

• Neurodivergence

• Compassion over judgement

Find out more about Dave’s work:

🌐 ASAP Community: https://asapcommunity.org/