All infants have a strong and very real need for physical contact. Without it, the deprivation is very real and may be permanent. Your baby's need for touching and cuddling is like food for physical and emotional growth. Your infant's need for physical contact strongly suggests this physical/emotional/social being also needs to be "fed." Without such contact, your child "starves" physically, emotionally, and socially.

What to do? That is fairly simple. Pick up your baby, cuddle him, talk to him and make noises at him. Try to spend a lot of time talking with him and physically interacting with him. When giving him a bottle, hold your baby instead of feeding him in the crib or playpen. Several times a day, pick him up and walk around, sit in a chair and rock, and be sure his playpen or walker is not in a room by itself. It's better for him to be around other people than to be by himself. Talk with him and encourage other people to do the same. If someone says, "What a nice baby," ask them if they want to hold your child. Your baby needs maximum physical contact and interaction with a variety of people. …

It is important for you to actively and thoughtfully Participate on the management team. An important element of your participation is to assure that you Question decisions and actions of others you think may cause problems or jeopardize operations.

On the face of it, the point here seems like another one of those no-brainers. "Be as good as your word." "Do what you say you will do." Certainly loyalty is also part of the package as is faithfulness, to the extent that promises have been made. It would seem that this is simply a further example of predictability, "You can count on me."

Here though, dependability and keeping commitments go beyond these types of usual, "the way you deal with everyone" behavior. Within serious relationships, they have a more intimate dimension. They are an important ingredient in the tie that binds, are part of what makes the relationship special.

• You are there for each other when either of you needs support, encouragement, or someone to scratch the itch so to speak.

• You are truly interested in and want to know about each other's activities, thoughts, and personal issues.

• You are happy and excited when things go well for either of you and feel badly when they do not.

• You share in each other's lives and are available, good times, bad times, and all. …

The Great Mouse Hunt has shifted to a rainy day in the city. The hunters hunt, The Great Mouse avoids capture, the city continues as cities do. Be sure not to miss the last two minutes or so. It tends to defy description.

The Great Mouse Hunt has shifted to a rainy day in the city. The hunters hunt, The Great Mouse avoids capture, the city continues as cities do. Be sure not to miss the last two minutes or so. It tends to defy description.

The Aliens Amongst Us have finally grocked the essence of American politics. It requires understanding what they call political economics. Once you grock the reality, it actually starts making sense. Listen and learn, if you will. Our alien neighbors have a lesson for us.

 

You probably think becoming a better listener is a worthy goal for all of us, but maybe not. Listen and come to your own conclusion.

I'm at it again. It is nearly impossible to resist sharing an old saying or two. "It's my way or the highway." "Do it or else." Oh well, the temptation is just too much. "If you don't, you'll be sorry." "You are going to get exactly what you deserve." Maybe I should have just cut to the chase with, "Don't threaten." After all, making threats is what demands and one-sided conditions really are. …

During the fellowship hour after church, a few parishioners mingle but most take their usual places near their usual companions. A scattering of conversations can be overheard.

 

In a small group toward the back of the fellowship hall, things are getting a little emotional. A teacher has just said, "I think I'm going to give up teaching one of these days. It's getting to where the children just have no respect. It was all right but the new ones in the class just add to my problems. I don't know what happened to the traditional family."

 

The group is sympathetic except for one young mother at the fringe. Abruptly, she sets down her coffee cup and rushes away.

 

The teacher says, "What got into her? She and her children have only been coming here for a couple of weeks, so I don't know her very well."

 

Across the fellowship hall, the preacher is saying to an extremely agitated man, "Melvin, I agree there may be a small problem; but I doubt if it is as bad as you are saying."

 

Not to be appeased, Melvin presses his point. "I don't think we should just brush this incident with Carolyn off as a minor problem. The next thing you know, the parents will be up in arms and then the church itself may be in trouble. If we lose members over this, everything we've worked for will be in jeopardy."

 

Just at the moment Rev. Lewis thinks he has managed to get away from Melvin without getting him more upset, another agitator steps up. "I couldn't help hearing what Melvin said to you, Reverend. I don't want any bad feelings and wouldn't upset anyone for the world. I just have to say this. Carolyn is doing her best and deserves our support."

 

About twenty minutes later, Rev. Lewis feels a tug on his sleeve. As he turns, he hears, "I think you better talk with Carolyn. She has a right to have you tell her to her face what you said. She is my best friend and I'm going to stand by her."

 

Looking directly at Carolyn, Rev. Lewis says, "I did not say anything about you except you and I would talk. I would like to talk soon except this is not a good time or place. How about tomorrow sometime?"

 

With obvious sincerity, the friend says, "Carolyn does not need this hanging over her head." Turning to Carolyn, she says, "You are not going to let him put you off, are you?"

 

Unsure what to say, Carolyn says to the preacher, "So, what do you have to say to me?"

 

As the preacher fumbles with what to say to Carolyn, the agitator says, "I can see this is getting a little personal. If the two of you don't mind, I will be headed home. I have a hungry family to feed. I will call you later Carolyn."

 

Discussion:

 

The stock-and-trade of the agitator is being able to embellish and shape any information to increase its importance. An effective way of doing this comes from Melvin. "I don't think we should just brush this incident with Carolyn off as a minor problem." Melvin is an exceptional agitator. According to Melvin, what Rev. Lewis thinks was a minor incident has put the church itself in jeopardy. With the church at risk, Melvin has no difficulty getting most anyone to listen and take him seriously.

 

The teacher in the illustration provides an especially cruel example of agitating. She splits her play into two parts. First comes, "It was all right but the new ones in the class just add to my problems." After the young mother sets down her coffee cup and rushes away, this agitator asks, "What got into her?"

 

It is tempting to think we have to choose between the Management Perspective and the Leadership Perspective. An agency should have one or the other but not both. The easy conclusion is it should have the Leadership Perspective. Leadership certainly has more pizzazz than Management. Given the choice between being a leader and being a Manager, most people choose being a leader every time.

This is the problem with such a simplistic view. Although having the Leadership Perspective is important, so is having the Management Perspective. An agency cannot function adequately and certainly cannot excel without highly competent Management. As pointed out in Chapter One, some type of regulatory mechanism is required to transfer and account for the expenditure of the financial and other resources. This requires people who do the fiscal work of the agency. There is

a governing mechanism maintaining the agency's connection with the authorizing entity. This requires people who manage this connection. There is a

management mechanism to develop and oversee local policies and implementing procedures for day-to-day operations. This requires people who develop, implement, and oversee those policies and procedures. There are qualified

staff and appropriate facilities to do the work of the agency and to deliver the supports and services for which the agency exists. This requires people to manage these personnel and operations functions. There are

mechanisms in place through which the agency reports to the authorizing entity, maintains accountability, and provides other required data and information. This requires people who assure the systems and processes are in place to accomplish these tasks. …