Audio Tidbits

Do you have the misfortune of having to deal with a know-it-all, the humility challenged, a certified screw-up? If so, a little sympathy is coming your way. These humility challenged experts on everything are out there, just itching to screw something up and then point the finger at you, as they creep away. -- Let's dip into this a little further.

Six for Sunday may sound like something special, but not this time. It's just a six-pack for everyday that happens to be posted on Sunday. Even so, I think you may find at least a couple of these little tidbits worth a minute or so for quick consideration.

Here's the thing. For those of us who cannot see, there are dozens of skills and strategies potentially available to us to do what we want to do, when we want to do whatever it is. For the sake of discussion, let's say there are seventy-two skills and strategies (Call them tools.) out there for any of us who goes to the time and bother to master them. Sure, there are way more than seventy-two, but since I can only handel quite a bit fewer than seventy-two, I'll stick with seventy-two. There is no point in totally overwhelming myself before I even get started with filling up my tool box.

Just for starters, there are three tools that are already there for the taking; and we may not have even noticed that they are there for us. The cool thing is that these three tools are free and only require putting them into our tool box. They do have a down side though. Just like a tiny hammer won't do the job if we have a big nail, a weak tool won't serve us very well when we need it for a big job. But it does not need to be a super hammer. It needs to be just big enough to do the job.

We also do not need to put a lot of extra tools into our tool box, just in case we need them some day. Instead, we can look down the road to figure out what tools we will need to do what we want to do as time goes on. Our job is to then make sure those tools are tucked into our tool box, just on time to do the job when that job needs done. -- You've got the idea: just enough tools there just on time to do what we want to do.

One more thing about these three tools. Without them, the other sixty-nine tools potentially available to us are likely to be ineffective, likely not to get the job done for us, likely to never make it into our tool box. Keep in mind that this is a do-it-yourself tool box we are talking about. If you have others who will do all of the work for you and are yourself fine with that, an empty tool box is all you need. Otherwise, you need some tools in your tool box. Not all seventy-two, but some, starting with these three. Think of them as prerequisites to putting more tools in your tool box.

Motivation:

I know, it always gets down to motivation. If we want to, then we might; but if we do not want to, we probably won't. We do occasionally do things we do not want to do, but usually we don't. It is also that hammer thing again. Little wants require little motivation and big wants require big motivation. But how much motivation is required to do what we want to do? -- Just enough of course.

Determination:

A lot of us who cannot see have plenty of motivation to do what we want to do. It's determination that is in short supply. We are highly motivated to develop the tools required to do what we want to do. We just seem to never get around to reading that book, listening to that podcast, signing up for that class or talking to the right person. What's going on here? It is pretty easy. We are motivated to develop the skill or strategy we need; but motivation alone is not enough. We also have to be determined to do what we need to do.

I suppose you may be saying, "Hey Gary, slow up there dude. What's this 'we' stuff? I'm motivated enough and as determined as most anyone else. I sure don't have a motivation problem or a determination problem for that matter. You are way off base if you think my lack of tools in my tool box is due to some limitation with me or my motivation and determination. It's way more complicated than that."

Well, okay. I get it. You have special circumstances that are preventing you from getting better tools, and there is little to nothing you can personally do about that. It is just too complicated to work out, no matter how motivated or determined you are. Your take is that I just don't understand how difficult it is for you; and most likely, no one else understands either.

Persistence:

There is one more tool that all of us who cannot see need in our tool box.

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Blind How Basics

 

Blind How (https://BlindHow.net) is

produced by Gary Crow, Ph.D. who has been blind since birth and has extensive

experience in mental health and child welfare administration, has spoken and trained

internationally, and has written numerous articles, books for adults and

children, and training guides. Most significantly, Gary knows how to succeed

without being able to see and values the chance to share his experience and

insights with you.

 

The

Social Context

 

Why might Blind

How … The Basics interest you?

 

• You

can't see and are looking for some tips and suggestions for how to do what you

want to do.

 

• You

spend time with someone who can't see and want some tips and suggestions for

how to be more helpful.

 

• You

are curious about how people who can't see are able to do what they do.

 

• You

want to know more about what people who can't see can do to succeed in a world

where most everyone else can see.

 

• You

want to start with the basics, tips for folks who don't know much of anything

about how to live a full life without being able to see.

 

• You

want to expand your understanding gradually to include more opportunities and

options for doing whatever you hope to do, when you can't see.

 

If I

tell you that I am blind, what comes to mind? Now if I simply tell you that I

can't see, how does the picture in your mind's eye change? Likely the change is

significant.

Communication

Matters

 

Look Up

 

When I

was young, my mother told me and then told me again to look at her when she was

talking to me. One time I responded by saying, "I'm blind so what makes

the difference?" Her response? "Yes, you are blind, but that's never

an excuse for being rood or lazy."

 

I

suspect that you get my point. For my mom, not being able to see was never an

excuse for not doing what I was able to do. Even if I couldn't see her, I

definitely could turn my head in her direction when she was talking and at

least act like I was paying attention.

 

I

could look up and in her direction. That was at least the place to start.

Success required feedback though. The problem was learning not to look too high

or too low, too far left or right. I needed to focus on her voice and where it

was coming from. The technique I developed is to focus a little below where I

think the voice is located. It helps to shift my head and shoulders, so my

shoulders are squared with the person talking.

 

The

best way to get this right is to ask someone who you are around a lot and you

are comfortable with to coach you when you are seeming not to be paying

attention or are just getting lazy. Let them know that too much coaching gets

irritating and not to coach when others can observe what's happening. With

practice, all of us who can't see can get better at looking at people when they

are talking to us.

 

As the

skill improves, we can learn to look at anyone who is talking whether he or she

is talking to us or to someone else. (Although I don't know how it works for

others who can't see, I tend to look too far up and slightly to the right when

someone is talking to me.)

 

• Even

though I can't see, I'll look at you when you're talking to me.

 

Speak Up

 

Let me

just assume that you are looking at me when I'm talking. You are looking,

aren't you? If you aren't managing that skill, speaking up will still

help, but not so much.

 

Although

this may not be a problem for you, it is for me. If I get a little lazy and

don't pay attention, I tend to look down and mumble or at least talk too

quietly for others to hear without needing to make a special effort to hear.

I'll bet you see where my problem starts. Sure, it's tending to look down.

 

Speaking

up definitely hooks up with looking at people when they are talking. It's

important to also look at people when you are talking. It's pretty easy for me

to slip into not looking up, not looking at the person to whom I'm talking.

 

People

who can see are much more comfortable when they and those with whom they are

talking can look at each other. Face-to-Face is most always the preferred mode.

If they are having a Zoom call, they want the cameras on. In-person is

preferable to telephone calls. But here's the clincher. Those of us who can't

see can usually hear when people who are talking to us aren't looking at us.

 

• Even

though I can't see, here's what I'll do, I'll look your way, when I'm talking

to you.

 

When

having a conversation, look at the other person, whether you or the other

person is talking. When you are talking, speak up, clearly and loudly enough

for the other person to hear without any special effort. Look up and speak up.

 

That's

definitely good advice for anyone, whether or not he or she can see. But for

those of us who can't see, it's particularly important, since we may tend not

to look at people when in a conversation and may not talk loudly enough or

clearly enough to be easily understood. If you can't see but don't have any

issues with always looking up and speaking up, way to go. I'm just mentioning

it since I sometimes forget and thought reminding you can't hurt.

 

Straighten Up

 

Now

for the third element to remember when talking with other people. Who knew that

a simple conversation could be so complicated?

Do you recall those true/false tests in school? Bad news. School may be over but those test are with us every day. Much of what we hear or read is itself another one of those true/false tests. Is it true or is it just another lie or maybe even one of those damn lies?

Someone who I don't recall said that smart people know what to say and when to say it. But a wise person knows what to say and when not to say it. Sometimes the better part of wisdom is to just shut up and sit down.

There are the regular fools among us. They neither know better nor do better. We tend to give those folks a pass, since they have no control over just how stupid they are at times. And there are the rest of us who don't have the excuse of being standard fools. We are just damn fools, yes all of us. We do our foolishness despite knowing better. We just don't do better. This is not a permanent condition unless we extend our foolishness beyond five minutes a day. Gary has the skinny on this universal fact of life.

Giving advice when asked is dangerous; and giving unsolicited advice is just stupid. Hearing Gary's take on this may be worth a listen; but of course, that is not advice, just an opportunity.

The title says it all. There is about five minutes of me fussing about my SM7b microphone and my mixer; but after that, some nice country music from Kevin is there for you.