Audio Tidbits

When I dropped into our local coffee shop, several of my podcasting friends were deep into a conversation that had been going on for a while. I’m not sure how they got onto the topic they were tossing around, but they seemed to have some strong ideas that I found pretty interesting. As best I can tell, the conversation is focusing on how they think upping their style game could or should work. They were so into it that I didn’t want to interrupt so I just listened in. Please press Play and join me so we can listen in together.

(Roger Fisher and William Ury)

You can change the game. You start by changing your attitude.

Separate the people from the problem.

Attack the problem and never the people.

Focus on interests, not on positions.

Invent options that benefit both sides.

What is your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement, your BATNA?

(Dr. Norman Vincent Peale)

Always play with abandon.

The next time you're faced with a problem, try a new approach.

Make up your mind to win and nothing else.

It is always too soon to quit.

All the resources you need are in your mind.

Failure comes most often to people who are unable to focus themselves.

We tend to become precisely like that which we habitually imagine ourselves to be. …

(Robert M. Bramson)

Do not automatically respond by trying to solve difficult people's problems.

Do not automatically agree with difficult people even if you think they are right.

Never argue with difficult people.

Always feed back the difficult person's main points before you do anything else.

(Hermine Hilton)

Remember people's names and what they tell you.

Remember what you are doing, what you are supposed to do, what you have and have not done.

Be sure what you want to remember is collected and connected.

Link what you do not know to what you do know.

(Dave Winter)

Do you always follow through on promises?

Do you get back with people who are trying to get in touch with you?

Do you communicate a sincere interest in the person with whom you are communicating, even if he or she is boring or difficult? Do you give the person the impression that you want to help?

Do you take the initiative to find a way to help, a way to say yes?

People do not want to know what you cannot do for them; they want to know what you can do for them.

Clear communication is your responsibility, not the other person's.

You cannot listen and talk at the same time.

(Peter F. Drucker)

It is your vision or its absence that shapes your future.

Assignments change all the time and unpredictably, although the job may not change.

You cannot build performance on weaknesses; you can only build it on strengths.

The things you did to get a promotion are not the things you need to do now.

The ultimate test of success is success.

(Zig Ziglar)

If you don't think you deserve success, you will do things to keep you from getting it.

It is not the lack of time that is the problem, it is the lack of direction.

How can you reach a goal you do not have?

You will get everything in life you want if you just help enough other people get what they want.

You cannot reach someone else's goal.

In order for a goal to be effective, it must affect change.

You go as far as you can see; and when you get there, you always will be able to see further.

People who wait for an external change before they make an internal decision will get cooked in the squat, never succeed.

Just because you are running doesn't mean you have to like it.

Stinking thinking leads to hardening of the attitudes.

You can only start from where you are with what you've got.

You don't climb the high mountain by yourself; it is in conjunction with others that you really accomplish the major things in life.

(Michael Korda)

If you don't have power, you cannot do anything, you cannot protect yourself, you cannot get anything done yourself.

Your interests are not the interests of somebody else.

The best way to think about power is to think about it as a game, a game with rules and moves.

No one ever succeeded in business by sitting quietly at their desk and doing what they are told.

Do everything you do as if it were the only thing that mattered.

(Nancy Campbell)

When dealing with a challenging person, analyze the problem and not the person.

What are you expecting the person to do? What is an acceptable response? Specifically, what is the difference between what you expect and what they are doing?

Start by asking the person what's the problem?

(Roger Fisher and William Ury)

You can change the game. You start by changing your attitude.

Separate the people from the problem.

Attack the problem and never the people.

Focus on interests, not on positions.

Invent options that benefit both sides.

What is your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement, your BATNA?

(Dr. Norman Vincent Peale)

Always play with abandon.

The next time you're faced with a problem, try a new approach.

Make up your mind to win and nothing else.

It is always too soon to quit.

All the resources you need are in your mind.

Failure comes most often to people who are unable to focus themselves.

We tend to become precisely like that which we habitually imagine ourselves to be. …

(Robert M. Bramson)

Do not automatically respond by trying to solve difficult people's problems.

Do not automatically agree with difficult people even if you think they are right.

Never argue with difficult people.

Always feed back the difficult person's main points before you do anything else.

(Hermine Hilton)

Remember people's names and what they tell you.

Remember what you are doing, what you are supposed to do, what you have and have not done.

Be sure what you want to remember is collected and connected.

Link what you do not know to what you do know.

(Dave Winter)

Do you always follow through on promises?

Do you get back with people who are trying to get in touch with you?

Do you communicate a sincere interest in the person with whom you are communicating, even if he or she is boring or difficult? Do you give the person the impression that you want to help?

Do you take the initiative to find a way to help, a way to say yes?

People do not want to know what you cannot do for them; they want to know what you can do for them.

Clear communication is your responsibility, not the other person's.

You cannot listen and talk at the same time.

(Peter F. Drucker)

It is your vision or its absence that shapes your future.

Assignments change all the time and unpredictably, although the job may not change.

You cannot build performance on weaknesses; you can only build it on strengths.

The things you did to get a promotion are not the things you need to do now.

The ultimate test of success is success.

(Zig Ziglar)

If you don't think you deserve success, you will do things to keep you from getting it.

It is not the lack of time that is the problem, it is the lack of direction.

How can you reach a goal you do not have?

You will get everything in life you want if you just help enough other people get what they want.

You cannot reach someone else's goal.

In order for a goal to be effective, it must affect change.

You go as far as you can see; and when you get there, you always will be able to see further.

People who wait for an external change before they make an internal decision will get cooked in the squat, never succeed.

Just because you are running doesn't mean you have to like it.

Stinking thinking leads to hardening of the attitudes.

You can only start from where you are with what you've got.

You don't climb the high mountain by yourself; it is in conjunction with others that you really accomplish the major things in life.

(Michael Korda)

If you don't have power, you cannot do anything, you cannot protect yourself, you cannot get anything done yourself.

Your interests are not the interests of somebody else.

The best way to think about power is to think about it as a game, a game with rules and moves.

No one ever succeeded in business by sitting quietly at their desk and doing what they are told.

Do everything you do as if it were the only thing that mattered.

(Nancy Campbell)

When dealing with a challenging person, analyze the problem and not the person.

What are you expecting the person to do? What is an acceptable response? Specifically, what is the difference between what you expect and what they are doing?

Start by asking the person what's the problem?

If you are serious about wanting our relationship to work well for both of us:

Help me get what I want and need, help me succeed.

Assume I am trying to do well, trying to succeed.

Do not assume you are a better judge of how things are for me than I am.

Do not use yourself as the standard for how I should think, feel, or behave.

Hold me responsible only for what I can actually do and can control.

Value who I am, my style and personality.

Assume I believe what I say and do not intentionally misrepresent anything.

Respect my feelings and opinions.

Be sensitive to my motivations and interests.

Give me the benefit of the doubt when things are not clear or certain.

If you value me and our relationship:

Make time for me.

Accept me as is without trying to change me.

Respect my ideas and opinions.

If you want me to be comfortable with you and with our relationship:

Be someone I can depend on.

Do not expect me to think, feel and behave just like you.

Spend more time telling me what you think I am doing right than what you think I am doing wrong.

Do not take your problems and bad mood out on me.

If you want me to cooperate with you:

Help me understand your goals and motivations.

Give me reasons and explanations when I ask for them.

Let me try to help solve your problems instead of expecting me to accept your solutions.

Be prepared to handle my being upset or unhappy with you at times.

When you have a problem with me:

Be assertive with me without becoming hostile or aggressive.

Keep your attention mostly on the problem and not on me.

If an argument or disagreement starts, keep it short, to the point, and under control.

Hang in there with me till we get the problem worked out.

If you want to succeed with most all of your relationships:

Understand and value what you can and cannot do.

Be open and up front about what you think and feel.

Be flexible and willing to compromise.

Be well-organized and prepared, whatever you are doing.

Be quick to praise and slow to criticize.

Be clear about what you want or expect.

Have the same level of energy and commitment when things are not going well as when they are.

Compliment publicly, criticize privately.

Be consistent and predictable.

Deal with problems and conflicts as soon as you become aware of them.

Focus primarily on what is working, on what is going well.

Put most of your attention and energy on how to get ideas to work and off why they will not work.

Give everything you do your best shot.

Handle whatever needs done in a timely manner.

Have good personal habits.

Invest most of your time and energy in getting things done.

Keep commitments and agreements.

Keep criticisms very specific.

Make the difficult decisions and accept responsibility for them when you believe it is necessary.

Pitch in and work a little harder, do a little more when necessary.

Stay positive and in a good mood most of the time.

Snap back from disappointments and those times when things do not work out the way you want.

Be spontaneous and usually ready for whatever.

Take personal responsibility when you see something that needs done and no one is doing it.

Try to understand the what and why of problems before taking action.

Try to stay calm and relaxed.

Be willing to take the first step to improve things and make them better.

Be reasonable and patient.

Fit the intensity and forcefulness of your reactions and criticisms to the seriousness or importance of the problem or incident.

Do not overreact to problems and things that happen.

Remember and own what you have said, agreed to, and what you have done.

Be decisive and able to make up your mind.

Be energetic and hard-working.

Do the right things, for the right reasons, at the right times.

Now you know so there you go.

If you are serious about wanting our relationship to work well for both of us:

Help me get what I want and need, help me succeed.

Assume I am trying to do well, trying to succeed.

Do not assume you are a better judge of how things are for me than I am.

Do not use yourself as the standard for how I should think, feel, or behave.

Hold me responsible only for what I can actually do and can control.

Value who I am, my style and personality.

Assume I believe what I say and do not intentionally misrepresent anything.

Respect my feelings and opinions.

Be sensitive to my motivations and interests.

Give me the benefit of the doubt when things are not clear or certain.

If you value me and our relationship:

Make time for me.

Accept me as is without trying to change me.

Respect my ideas and opinions.

If you want me to be comfortable with you and with our relationship:

Be someone I can depend on.

Do not expect me to think, feel and behave just like you.

Spend more time telling me what you think I am doing right than what you think I am doing wrong.

Do not take your problems and bad mood out on me.

If you want me to cooperate with you:

Help me understand your goals and motivations.

Give me reasons and explanations when I ask for them.

Let me try to help solve your problems instead of expecting me to accept your solutions.

Be prepared to handle my being upset or unhappy with you at times.

When you have a problem with me:

Be assertive with me without becoming hostile or aggressive.

Keep your attention mostly on the problem and not on me.

If an argument or disagreement starts, keep it short, to the point, and under control.

Hang in there with me till we get the problem worked out.

If you want to succeed with most all of your relationships:

Understand and value what you can and cannot do.

Be open and up front about what you think and feel.

Be flexible and willing to compromise.

Be well-organized and prepared, whatever you are doing.

Be quick to praise and slow to criticize.

Be clear about what you want or expect.

Have the same level of energy and commitment when things are not going well as when they are.

Compliment publicly, criticize privately.

Be consistent and predictable.

Deal with problems and conflicts as soon as you become aware of them.

Focus primarily on what is working, on what is going well.

Put most of your attention and energy on how to get ideas to work and off why they will not work.

Give everything you do your best shot.

Handle whatever needs done in a timely manner.

Have good personal habits.

Invest most of your time and energy in getting things done.

Keep commitments and agreements.

Keep criticisms very specific.

Make the difficult decisions and accept responsibility for them when you believe it is necessary.

Pitch in and work a little harder, do a little more when necessary.

Stay positive and in a good mood most of the time.

Snap back from disappointments and those times when things do not work out the way you want.

Be spontaneous and usually ready for whatever.

Take personal responsibility when you see something that needs done and no one is doing it.

Try to understand the what and why of problems before taking action.

Try to stay calm and relaxed.

Be willing to take the first step to improve things and make them better.

Be reasonable and patient.

Fit the intensity and forcefulness of your reactions and criticisms to the seriousness or importance of the problem or incident.

Do not overreact to problems and things that happen.

Remember and own what you have said, agreed to, and what you have done.

Be decisive and able to make up your mind.

Be energetic and hard-working.

Do the right things, for the right reasons, at the right times.

Now you know so there you go.

Note that these 20 Reasons To Be a Democrat in 2020 are in no particular order and that it is not necessary to sign onto all 20 reasons. If you agree with or at least lean toward most of the reasons and don’t strongly disagree with the rest, being a Democrat in 2020 is likely the right choice for you.

Reason 1: You believe that it is important for business to flourish, but also believe that there are other aspects of society that deserve and must receive equal and sometimes greater consideration, when formulating government policy and regulation.

Reason 2: You believe that whether to carry a pregnancy to term is and should be the woman’s choice.

Reason 3: You believe that the accumulation of wealth by individuals and companies is an inevitable product of capitalism and should be limited and to some extent redistributed through regulation and taxation.

Reason 4: You believe that the nation’s natural resources and public areas should be protected from unsustainable use or exploitation through legislation and government regulation and from activities that represent undue risk to the areas where those resources and public areas are present.

Reason 5: You believe that the right to bare arms has to be balanced against the right to life and safety for the public and that buying, selling and possessing guns should thus be limited or restricted through government regulation or policy in order to reduce safety risks to the public.

Reason 6: You believe that global warming is a scientifically provable fact and represents a real and present danger for the planet and for its inhabitants. In particular, it represents a valid and significant threat to life in America.

Reason 7: You believe that America’s priorities and interests should be balanced with the priorities and interests of its nation friends and allies politically, economically and militarily on the world stage.

Reason 8: You believe that it is the responsibility of every adult to handle the economic aspects of his or her personal health and welfare requirements and responsibilities to the extent of their individual ability and opportunity and that it is the responsibility of government to at least partially compensate for any life-critical shortfall that may occur.

Reason 9: You believe that criminals and those who break the law should be held accountable for their actions, should have their liberty restricted to the extent that they represent a threat to the public and should receive appropriate penalties, supervision and successful rehabilitation before having their liberty fully restored, as they demonstrate their intention to conform to both law and social norms.

Reason 10: You believe that noncitizens who came to America as children should be allowed to stay if they are conforming to societal norms and not otherwise a threat to the safety and well being of other people. Additionally, you believe that, with appropriate screening, people from other countries should be permitted to come to America through established quotas and if they are at high risk of personal harm if they remain in their home countries.

Reason 11: You believe that government resources should be directed to helping children and adults who are unable to at least minimally provide for themselves, including health, food, shelter, and other personal necessities.

Reason 12: You believe that government should regulate business to the extent that doing so reduces the likelihood of catastrophic failure and prevents businesses from being able to avoid taxes and from becoming too big to permit fair and real competition within their business sector.

Reason 13: you believe that Americans expect and have a right not to be tracked or surveilled by government agencies and expect that their electronic devices and personal information won’t be accessed by people intending to do harm or otherwise exploit their personal data, unless those agencies have received court authorization for the tracking or survei...

Note that these 20 Reasons To Be a Democrat in 2020 are in no particular order and that it is not necessary to sign onto all 20 reasons. If you agree with or at least lean toward most of the reasons and don’t strongly disagree with the rest, being a Democrat in 2020 is likely the right choice for you.

Reason 1: You believe that it is important for business to flourish, but also believe that there are other aspects of society that deserve and must receive equal and sometimes greater consideration, when formulating government policy and regulation.

Reason 2: You believe that whether to carry a pregnancy to term is and should be the woman’s choice.

Reason 3: You believe that the accumulation of wealth by individuals and companies is an inevitable product of capitalism and should be limited and to some extent redistributed through regulation and taxation.

Reason 4: You believe that the nation’s natural resources and public areas should be protected from unsustainable use or exploitation through legislation and government regulation and from activities that represent undue risk to the areas where those resources and public areas are present.

Reason 5: You believe that the right to bare arms has to be balanced against the right to life and safety for the public and that buying, selling and possessing guns should thus be limited or restricted through government regulation or policy in order to reduce safety risks to the public.

Reason 6: You believe that global warming is a scientifically provable fact and represents a real and present danger for the planet and for its inhabitants. In particular, it represents a valid and significant threat to life in America.

Reason 7: You believe that America’s priorities and interests should be balanced with the priorities and interests of its nation friends and allies politically, economically and militarily on the world stage.

Reason 8: You believe that it is the responsibility of every adult to handle the economic aspects of his or her personal health and welfare requirements and responsibilities to the extent of their individual ability and opportunity and that it is the responsibility of government to at least partially compensate for any life-critical shortfall that may occur.

Reason 9: You believe that criminals and those who break the law should be held accountable for their actions, should have their liberty restricted to the extent that they represent a threat to the public and should receive appropriate penalties, supervision and successful rehabilitation before having their liberty fully restored, as they demonstrate their intention to conform to both law and social norms.

Reason 10: You believe that noncitizens who came to America as children should be allowed to stay if they are conforming to societal norms and not otherwise a threat to the safety and well being of other people. Additionally, you believe that, with appropriate screening, people from other countries should be permitted to come to America through established quotas and if they are at high risk of personal harm if they remain in their home countries.

Reason 11: You believe that government resources should be directed to helping children and adults who are unable to at least minimally provide for themselves, including health, food, shelter, and other personal necessities.

Reason 12: You believe that government should regulate business to the extent that doing so reduces the likelihood of catastrophic failure and prevents businesses from being able to avoid taxes and from becoming too big to permit fair and real competition within their business sector.

Reason 13: you believe that Americans expect and have a right not to be tracked or surveilled by government agencies and expect that their electronic devices and personal information won’t be accessed by people intending to do harm or otherwise exploit their personal data, unless those agencies have received court authorization for the tracking or survei...

Note that these 20 Reasons To Be a Republican are in no particular order and that it is not necessary to sign onto all 20 reasons. If you agree with or at least lean toward most of the reasons and don’t strongly disagree with the rest, being a Republican in 2020 is likely for you.

Reason 1: You believe that what is good for business is good for America. Policies and regulations that are pro business are acceptable, while those that are not should be eliminated.

Reason 2: Abortion is eval and immoral.

Reason 3: The accumulation of wealth by individuals and companies is a natural product of successful capitalism and should not be limited or penalized by undue regulation or taxation.

Reason 4: The nation’s natural resources are vast and should be available to and accessible by those who are in a position to maximize their use as a key driver of the economic engine.

Reason 5: You believe that buying, selling and possessing guns is an unqualified Constitutionally guaranteed right of every American adult and should not be limited or restricted through government regulation or policy.

Reason 6: You believe that global warming is largely a scientific myth and represents little to no future risk for the planet or for its inhabitants. In particular, it represents no significant threat to life in America.

Reason 7: You believe that America’s priorities and interests should always come first politically, economically and militarily on the world stage.

Reason 8: You believe that it is the responsibility of every American adult to handle the economic aspects of all of his or her personal health and welfare requirements and responsibilities and that it is not the responsibility of government to compensate for any shortfall that may occur.

Reason 9: You believe that criminals and those who break the law should be held strictly accountable for their transgressions and should be punished harshly and swiftly.

Reason 10: You believe that America is here for the safety, protection and freedom of its citizens and that noncitizens should only be permitted to enter or allowed to stay if they demonstrate their ability to assimilate into the American culture as productive participants who are economically self sufficient, putting no stress on government resources or services.

Reason 11: You believe that socialism is a serious threat to the American way and that the country has already moved too far toward socialist policies and programs. Government handouts have gotten out of hand and have to be rolled back.

Reason 12: Government should be there to support business sectors when economic conditions or events cause or threaten disruptions in the profitable operation of business units within those sectors. This support should be economic and not regulatory, unless reducing regulations increases the viability of those business units.

Reason 13: You believe that the personal privacy expectations of individuals are (with appropriate court oversight) subordinate to the information and data needs of law enforcement and other governmental security organizations pursuing criminals and other identified security risks.

Reason 14: You believe that labor unions have a negative influence on business and economic growth and that they drive up costs, limit the flexibility of businesses and stifle economic development. At a individual level, they protect incompetent and unproductive employees and tie the hands of managers and administrators who are trying to resolve problems and issues within their organizations.

Reason 15: You believe that “clean energy” is an oxymoron and that the country runs on coal, natural gas, oil and electricity and that nothing should be done or permitted that restricts or threatens the supply or use of these essential fuels.

Reason 16: You believe that America should set and control any rules or regulations relating to its international trade and commerce and that it should not participate in any multinational agreements...

Note that these 20 Reasons To Be a Republican are in no particular order and that it is not necessary to sign onto all 20 reasons. If you agree with or at least lean toward most of the reasons and don’t strongly disagree with the rest, being a Republican in 2020 is likely for you.

Reason 1: You believe that what is good for business is good for America. Policies and regulations that are pro business are acceptable, while those that are not should be eliminated.

Reason 2: Abortion is eval and immoral.

Reason 3: The accumulation of wealth by individuals and companies is a natural product of successful capitalism and should not be limited or penalized by undue regulation or taxation.

Reason 4: The nation’s natural resources are vast and should be available to and accessible by those who are in a position to maximize their use as a key driver of the economic engine.

Reason 5: You believe that buying, selling and possessing guns is an unqualified Constitutionally guaranteed right of every American adult and should not be limited or restricted through government regulation or policy.

Reason 6: You believe that global warming is largely a scientific myth and represents little to no future risk for the planet or for its inhabitants. In particular, it represents no significant threat to life in America.

Reason 7: You believe that America’s priorities and interests should always come first politically, economically and militarily on the world stage.

Reason 8: You believe that it is the responsibility of every American adult to handle the economic aspects of all of his or her personal health and welfare requirements and responsibilities and that it is not the responsibility of government to compensate for any shortfall that may occur.

Reason 9: You believe that criminals and those who break the law should be held strictly accountable for their transgressions and should be punished harshly and swiftly.

Reason 10: You believe that America is here for the safety, protection and freedom of its citizens and that noncitizens should only be permitted to enter or allowed to stay if they demonstrate their ability to assimilate into the American culture as productive participants who are economically self sufficient, putting no stress on government resources or services.

Reason 11: You believe that socialism is a serious threat to the American way and that the country has already moved too far toward socialist policies and programs. Government handouts have gotten out of hand and have to be rolled back.

Reason 12: Government should be there to support business sectors when economic conditions or events cause or threaten disruptions in the profitable operation of business units within those sectors. This support should be economic and not regulatory, unless reducing regulations increases the viability of those business units.

Reason 13: You believe that the personal privacy expectations of individuals are (with appropriate court oversight) subordinate to the information and data needs of law enforcement and other governmental security organizations pursuing criminals and other identified security risks.

Reason 14: You believe that labor unions have a negative influence on business and economic growth and that they drive up costs, limit the flexibility of businesses and stifle economic development. At a individual level, they protect incompetent and unproductive employees and tie the hands of managers and administrators who are trying to resolve problems and issues within their organizations.

Reason 15: You believe that “clean energy” is an oxymoron and that the country runs on coal, natural gas, oil and electricity and that nothing should be done or permitted that restricts or threatens the supply or use of these essential fuels.

Reason 16: You believe that America should set and control any rules or regulations relating to its international trade and commerce and that it should not participate in any multinational agreements...

Step 1: Be sure I know who you are, who you represent and who you expect to benefit from the time I spend with you.

The first step has three important parts. First, I am more likely to trust you if I know who you are. It may seem not to matter but it always does. At a minimum, unless you are sure I already know, tell me your name. Add more information about who you are if you think it will help me to better know who you are or if I ask.

Second, tell me who you represent. It may seem obvious given the context, but don’t just assume. This is most important when you are representing more than yourself and your own interests.

Third, make it clear who you think will benefit if I spend this time with you. Do you think I will personally benefit? Do you think my company or business will benefit? Do you think some third party or organization will benefit? Do you think specific people will benefit or perhaps the community more generally? Who benefits?

Step 2: Give me a way to verify that you are who you say you are.

As we all know, this is the core problem with robocalls and door-to-door sales people and others who show up uninvited. We usually have no way of verifying that they are who they say they are or that they represent who they say they represent.

If you have legitimate credentials, show them to me, even if I don’t ask. If that is not an option, tell me how I can verify who you are and that you represent who you say you do.

The point is to give me a way to verify that you are legitimate.

Step 3: Be sure that I understand what you hope to get from the time you spend with me. What is the payoff for you or for whoever you represent?

This may be the real key to trust. I want to know if you are interested in anything or anyone beyond your own interests and profit. If I think you are in it for nothing beyond what you get out of the time I spend with you, I may still spend the time, but I will be cautious and certainly won’t trust you. I will take anything you say or suggest with a healthy grain of salt. Everything you say will have to pass through my BS filter. You are giving me ample reason not to trust you and no good reason to trust you.

Step 4: Be sure I understand what I get from the time I spend with you. What is the payoff for me?

This is the other side of the trust coin. What’s in it for me? Do I get a product, a solution to a problem I have, the opportunity to make a difference for others, an experience I will value, or some other benefit? Too often, people start here when they approach us. They make the pitch without doing their trust work first. They want us to do something or make decisions before we have any good reason to trust or believe them.

Assuming you have thoughtfully taken the steps to develop as much trust as you can, I need to know what the payoff is for me. Exactly what will you do, what can I expect? This is the value that I will consider trading for whatever you expect from me.

Step 5: Be sure I understand what your role is. What will you do and what actions will you take?

This is again a point where assuming is frequently a problem. You know what you will and won’t be doing and may simply assume that it’s obvious to me. Maybe it is but probably it isn’t. Make sure I know exactly what and how much I can expect you to do and what else will happen. It also adds to my trust when you take care to be sure that I understand and am comfortable with what will happen if I agree to do what you are asking me to do.

Step 6: Be sure I understand what you expect my role to be. What do you expect me to do and What actions do you expect me to take?

This is where it is easy to get the cart before the horse. Tell me what you will do first. I want to know in some detail since what you will do is the “why” in why I might decide to work with you or might do what you want me to do. I suspect we all can think of examples of when someone was quite clear about what would be expected of us while being somewhat vag...