The dog days of summer were particularly cruel this year.

I mean, sure, there's a pretty good dog film in the form of Cujo, but that's only one small part of a very rocky landscape.

Can the Pink Panther series get even worse? Yep. Can the Smokey and the Bandit series get even worse than that? We're almost done with 3D, thank god, but it's got a few more scars to leave. Sword and sorcery junk, post-apocalyptic dreck, and a teen sex comedy that's a real... well, you know.

There are highlights. George Lucas throws a buddy a bone and we get an animated gem as a result. Peter Hyams does some moralizing. Frank Frazetta and Ralph Bakshi get it on. Rodney Dangerfield has to stop getting it on if he wants to get rich. And Bob and Doug MacKenzie head to Elsinore Brewery for some Strange Brew.

All this plus the Citizen Kane of teen comedies and Berlin Alexanderplatz? It must be August of 1983.