Australian Carers

What I do while I can walk

Alyssa grew up in a Cambodian Australian family shaped by her parents' escape from genocide. In high school, she learned her father and sister carried the spinocerebellar ataxia gene. After years of uncertainty, she found courage to test for the gene herself through a partner's unconditional support in Turkey, only to learn she did not carry it. The relief turned to guilt watching her sister's mobility decline. Now, as an NDIS plan nominee and researcher, Alyssa confronts the gap between what her family inherited-duty, sacrifice, resilience-and what she wants to change. She channels that tension into work on inclusive employment and deliberate choices about her own future.

Alyssa Chhim-Michelle is a Cambodian Australian researcher, NDIS plan nominee, and PhD candidate studying neurodivergent employment. Born in Melbourne to parents who fled the Cambodian genocide, she navigates dual cultural obligations while managing her sister's progressive disability and her own family responsibilities.

In this Golden Threads conversation with Daniel Dougherty, Alyssa shares the story behind the moments below.

🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:

• Duty to family is not guilt; it is how Cambodian culture frames love, but it can trap you in patterns you do not want to repeat.

• Genetic uncertainty creates impossible choices for young people about their future, love, and family planning.

• Disability reveals how much of 'normal life' is built on unstated physical assumptions; small breaches become life-changing crises.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Welcome and introduction

02:34 Growing up in an immigrant household with cultural tensions

06:05 Family history of the Cambodian genocide, what her parents endured

14:39 Her dual role as NDIS plan nominee and caregiver for her father

16:51 Spinocerebellar ataxia explained, the diagnosis of her father and sister

22:02 Learning she does not carry the gene, guilt about her sister's reaction

28:16 Her sister's generosity before the disability worsened, shared travel memories

39:40 Challenges with paid support workers and intimate care

41:29 The guilt Alyssa carries and the day-to-day realities of caregiving

47:32 Finding silver linings and what disability has taught her

50:18 How to communicate and connect with her sister

57:49 Closing: reflection on how she and Daniel met, future conversations

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

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ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

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Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released fortnightly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

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CONNECT WITH US

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🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

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#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #GoldenThreads #DisabilityAndRehabilding #disability #caregiving #familyduty #geneticuncertainty #cambodianamerican #ndis #inclusion #mentalhealth

Mentioned in this episode:

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

Kintsugi Heroes

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

The 20-year fog

Karl grew up in apartheid South Africa in a wealthy but emotionally distant Austrian-South African family, experiencing what he now understands as complex trauma rooted in his mother's narcissism and his father's clinical detachment. For decades he dissociated, unaware he was queer until his late twenties when he met a partner and came out to indifference from his family. He moved to London at 27, then Australia, but remained numb and disconnected from himself until the last two years. Only recently, after leaving corporate work and experiencing a workplace sexual harassment case, has he begun to reclaim his creativity, healing practice, and authentic self. He now writes, mentors others in isolation, and teaches people that the answers we seek live in the quiet spaces we're taught to fear.

Karl Germann is a queer South African-born Australian now based in Port Macquarie. He spent two decades navigating dissociation and emotional distance from a privileged but cold family before recognizing his lived experience as trauma. He has since become a Reiki practitioner, author of the children's book The Land Where Unicorns Are Made, and community support worker dedicated to healing and connection.

In this Kintsugi Heroes conversation with John Dwyer, Karl shares the story behind the moments below.

🎙️ IN THIS CONVERSATION:

• Dissociation and small-t trauma can persist silently for decades without dramatic incidents, rooted in emotional distance and hypervigilance from childhood.

• Coming out as queer or reaching any milestone does not instantly resolve the foundational trauma that shaped you.

• Authenticity attracts more meaningful connection and professional success than conformity or self-censorship ever will.

🕒 CHAPTERS:

00:00 Welcome and introduction

01:27 Growing up in apartheid South Africa

08:00 Dissociation, trauma, and the Austrian father

14:30 A narcissistic mother and emotional distance

19:22 Coming out as queer at 27

27:50 Leaving South Africa for London and Australia

35:00 Corporate work, authenticity, and walking away

41:00 Climbing Kilimanjaro and metaphors for life

46:35 Writing, creativity, and The Land Where Unicorns Are Made

50:14 Reiki practice and community connection through Ankali

54:20 Building community, smiling, and winning people over

57:51 Advice for younger selves and closing reflections

🎧 If this story moved you, follow Kintsugi Heroes in your podcast app so you never miss an episode.

📌 RESOURCES MENTIONED:

Out of the Fog: outofthefog.website

carlfox.com: carlfox.com

Lightunitedreiki.com: lightunitedreiki.com

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ABOUT KINTSUGI HEROES

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Welcome.

We're glad you found your way here.

Kintsugi Heroes was created from a simple belief: every person has a story worth sharing, and sometimes the story we need to hear arrives exactly when we need it most.

Our name comes from the Japanese art of Kintsugi, where broken pottery is repaired with gold. Rather than hiding the cracks, they are honoured as part of the object's history. We believe people are much the same. The experiences that challenge us, break us, shape us, and help us grow are often the very things that connect us to one another.

This channel is home to honest conversations about resilience, hope, grief, recovery, courage, love, and what it means to keep moving forward when life doesn't go to plan.

Here you'll find six podcast series, each sharing stories through a different lens:

• Kintsugi Heroes, hosted by John Milham

• Animals & Us, hosted by Natalie Stockdale

• Grit Diaries: From Grit to Grace, hosted by Simone Allan and Maryan Bova

• From There to Here, hosted by Emma Bellamy-Dodd

• Golden Threads: Stories of Disability & Resilience

• Pride in Stories, hosted by John Dwyer (launching 31 July 2026)

Every story shared here is offered with the hope that it helps someone feel a little less alone. A little more understood. A little more connected.

Whether you're navigating a difficult season, supporting someone you love, or simply looking for meaningful conversations, you're welcome here.

New episodes are released weekly across our series.

If you'd like to help us keep these stories freely available to everyone, you can support our work here: https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate

Thank you for being part of this community.

We help people tell the stories they need to share so others can discover the story they need to hear.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

CONNECT WITH US

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

🌐 https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au

▶️ https://www.youtube.com/@kintsugiheroes

📘 https://www.facebook.com/kintsugiheroes

📸 https://www.instagram.com/kintsugi.heroes

💼 https://www.linkedin.com/company/kintsugi-heroes

#KintsugiHeroes #LivedExperience #ResiliencePodcast #PrideInStories #GoldenJoinery #QueerJourney #MentalHealth #Dissociation #AuthenticSelf #FamilyTrauma #HealingWork #CommunityConnection #CreativityHeals

———

Mentioned in this episode:

Thank You For Listening

Follow the show, share it with someone who needs it, or share your own story at kintsugiheroes.com.au. Your story matters.

Support Kintsugi Heroes

Kintsugi Heroes is a not-for-profit, and every story we share is free for the people who need it. If this show has meant something to you, you can help us keep going. Visit kintsugiheroes.com.au and click donate. Every contribution helps us keep telling these stories, and it's tax-deductible.

Leonie Mulgrew married her husband Shane nearly 36 years ago. They built a life together, with Leonie working as a beauty therapist at Myer and Shane running his business.

In 2021, Shane was diagnosed with stage four melanoma after a misdiagnosis. This critical moment changed their lives, leading to an extensive, 15-hour surgery and significant medical treatment. Leonie took on the role of Shane's primary caregiver during his battle with cancer. This involved managing medications, diet, nursing care, and emotional support around the clock.

Balancing work with caregiving was tough. Leonie faced emotional strain at her beauty therapy job, compounded by COVID-19 restrictions and unsupportive work environments, prompting a change in her career path.

Leonie transitioned to Lifeline Pacific Paradise, where she found a supportive environment. Her role as a store manager allowed her to help others, finding new purpose and fulfillment. Travel became a crucial part of Leonie's emotional healing. Trips with Shane, including one to Lake Macquarie, facilitated significant trauma release and offered a respite from caregiving stress.

Leonie actively supports and advises carers, emphasising empathy and non-judgmental support through groups like Stories of Hope. She fosters a positive, understanding work environment for her volunteer team.

*****

We hope that you enjoyed this episode of Kintsugi Heroes.

Please take care: if you have been triggered by listening to this episode we recommend you get in contact with someone who can help keep you safe and give you the support you need. This may be Lifeline, AA, a friend, a counsellor, or some other support group.

If you’d like to share your story on Kintsugi Heroes, please get in touch by contacting us via the website here - https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/contact

We hope you continue enjoying the heroes stories!

Warmly,

The Kintsugi Heroes team

YouTube || Facebook || Instagram || LinkedIn || Website

Theme Song: "Broken" by Colin Lillie

This Limited Kintsugi Heroes podcast series was made possible with grant funding from the BUPA Foundation (Australia) through their Community Grants Program. To find out more, head to https://www.bupafoundation.org/.

Cheryl Harris, is a community advocate, and former unpaid carer. She transitioned from hospital administration to volunteering and has been deeply involved in senior care and disability services.

Cheryl's life changed when her husband Ken was diagnosed with kidney disease in 1995. She navigated the complexities of dialysis and healthcare, showing immense strength and resilience. Juggling hospital visits, strict dietary plans, and emotional turmoil, Cheryl managed Ken’s chronic illness, always keeping his well-being at the forefront despite significant personal sacrifices.

After Ken's passing, Cheryl focused on personal growth, finding new purpose and contributing to the community. She understands the importance of balancing self-care with her passion for helping others."

Cheryl’s tireless work in her community spans from kidney health to homelessness. She believes in the power of small acts of kindness to improve the world. For Cheryl, volunteering and community work continue to be her anchors, providing purpose and joy as she reinvents her identity.

Committed to positive change, Cheryl collaborates with local organisations and is working on a project with the University of Sunshine Coast to create a resource hub for carers and seniors.

*****

We hope that you enjoyed this episode of Kintsugi Heroes.

Please take care: if you have been triggered by listening to this episode we recommend you get in contact with someone who can help keep you safe and give you the support you need. This may be Lifeline, AA, a friend, a counsellor, or some other support group.

If you’d like to share your story on Kintsugi Heroes, please get in touch by contacting us via the website here - https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/contact

We hope you continue enjoying the heroes stories!

Warmly,

The Kintsugi Heroes team

YouTube || Facebook || Instagram || LinkedIn || Website

Theme Song: "Broken" by Colin Lillie

This Limited Kintsugi Heroes podcast series was made possible with grant funding from the BUPA Foundation (Australia) through their Community Grants Program. To find out more, head to https://www.bupafoundation.org/.

Barbara Minuzzo has had a lifelong journey in unpaid care. This began with Barbara looking after her father who battled high-level dementia. This demanding role set her on a path of continuous caregiving.

Today, she cares for her mother, who has experienced a stroke and suffers from high-level dementia. Her focus remains on enhancing her mother's independence and quality of life.

Barbara finds immense fulfillment in her role. It's a conscious choice born from knowing her mother would feel lost in an environment where she can't speak the language. Support from organizations like Merri Health Gateway has been invaluable for Barbara, providing her with the necessary backing to continue her challenging but rewarding role.

Being a caregiver involves more than just fulfilling physical needs. It's about addressing the mental, social, emotional, and spiritual complexities of those cared for, which many often overlook.

Barbara treasures the small joys, like picking flowers from the garden with her mum, which bring a sense of normality and happiness amidst the daily challenges. She highlights that carers need time and space for self-care and mindfulness. Planning for these moments is essential, as caregiving can be an around-the-clock responsibility.

Barbara's dedication and insights offer a profound understanding of the unpaid carers' world. Her ongoing journey is both inspiring and enlightening, emphasising the importance of gratitude, patience, and self-care.

*****

We hope that you enjoyed this episode of Kintsugi Heroes.

Please take care: if you have been triggered by listening to this episode we recommend you get in contact with someone who can help keep you safe and give you the support you need. This may be Lifeline, AA, a friend, a counsellor, or some other support group.

If you’d like to share your story on Kintsugi Heroes, please get in touch by contacting us via the website here - https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/contact

We hope you continue enjoying the heroes stories!

Warmly,

The Kintsugi Heroes team

YouTube || Facebook || Instagram || LinkedIn || Website

Theme Song: "Broken" by Colin Lillie

This Limited Kintsugi Heroes podcast series was made possible with grant funding from the BUPA Foundation (Australia) through their Community Grants Program. To find out more, head to https://www.bupafoundation.org/.

Deb manages each day’s start with Ella’s varying capabilities. From making breakfast to struggling to rise, her mornings are governed by Ella’s unpredictable moods and behaviours.

Deb’s husband Dave, provides crucial flexible support, enabling the family to handle challenging days. Together, they prioritise self-care and navigate the complexities of their caregiving responsibilities.

Strategically planning family trips, Deb aims to create nurturing environments for everyone. Recently, they faced Ella’s sensitivity to loud noises during a girls' night of fireworks, enriching their experiences. Parenting Ella involves handling unpredictable behaviours. Deb's experience equips her to manage these events with necessary calm and fortitude.

Relief came through the National Disability Insurance Scheme and essential therapies. Groups, such as Down Syndrome Queensland, provide Deb with critical resources and a sense of community. The support from these groups enable Deb and Dave to balance work and caregiving, and helps alleviate the financial and emotional strain associated with their roles.

Deb attributes her resilience to her Christian faith, a supportive family, and a strong community network. Her journey is deeply rooted in love and unwavering support from those around her.

*****

We hope that you enjoyed this episode of Kintsugi Heroes.

Please take care: if you have been triggered by listening to this episode we recommend you get in contact with someone who can help keep you safe and give you the support you need. This may be Lifeline, AA, a friend, a counsellor, or some other support group.

If you’d like to share your story on Kintsugi Heroes, please get in touch by contacting us via the website here - https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/contact

We hope you continue enjoying the heroes stories!

Warmly,

The Kintsugi Heroes team

YouTube || Facebook || Instagram || LinkedIn || Website

Theme Song: "Broken" by Colin Lillie

This Limited Kintsugi Heroes podcast series was made possible with grant funding from the BUPA Foundation (Australia) through their Community Grants Program. To find out more, head to https://www.bupafoundation.org/.

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*****

We hope that you enjoyed this episode of Kintsugi Heroes.

Please take care: if you have been triggered by listening to this episode we recommend you get in contact with someone who can help keep you safe and give you the support you need. This may be Lifeline, AA, a friend, a counsellor, or some other support group.

If you’d like to share your story on Kintsugi Heroes, please get in touch by contacting us via the website here - https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/contact

We hope you continue enjoying the heroes stories!

Warmly,

The Kintsugi Heroes team

YouTube || Facebook || Instagram || LinkedIn || Website

Theme Song: "Broken" by Colin Lillie

This Limited Kintsugi Heroes podcast series was made possible with grant funding from the BUPA Foundation (Australia) through their Community Grants Program. To find out more, head to https://www.bupafoundation.org/.

An active IT consultant and community volunteer, Joe first noticed his wife Joyce’s memory lapses during an overseas trip. Seeking medical advice, their journey with early-onset dementia began.

Seeing Joyce's desire for a move, Joe transitioned them from Greenwood East to Geelong. Downsizing made life simpler, providing easy access to essential services and a senior-friendly environment.

Even after the diagnosis, Joe and Joyce kept their adventurous spirit alive. Traveling overseas, caravanning across Australia, and running along the Darling River, they embraced every moment together, actively.

Joe gradually embraced his role as Joyce's primary carer. From early-stage dementia's mild challenges to needing more caregiving support, he balanced personal interests while ensuring Joyce's well-being.

Joe praises the Men's Shed, Dementia Australia and other community groups. These offered a sense of belonging, allowing him to stay social and maintain his mental well-being while caregiving. He believes in the power of seeking help, fostering a network, and not trying to handle everything solo.

Initially sceptical, Joe found counselling to be a game-changer. He benefited greatly from government-funded sessions, proving the importance of mental health care for carers.

Joe balanced his caring duties by engaging in personal activities like rowing and volunteering. Focusing on his well-being allowed him to better care for Joyce and prevent caregiver burnout. He stresses the importance of taking breaks and not feeling guilty about needing personal time.

From adapting to Joyce's memory loss to managing extensive paperwork for services, Joe’s resilience shines through. He advises seeking help and not taking on everything alone. Prioritise your health, connect with others, and balance caregiving with personal fulfillment.

*****

We hope that you enjoyed this episode of Kintsugi Heroes.

Please take care: if you have been triggered by listening to this episode we recommend you get in contact with someone who can help keep you safe and give you the support you need. This may be Lifeline, AA, a friend, a counsellor, or some other support group.

If you’d like to share your story on Kintsugi Heroes, please get in touch by contacting us via the website here - https://www.kintsugiheroes.com.au/contact

We hope you continue enjoying the heroes stories!

Warmly,

The Kintsugi Heroes team

YouTube || Facebook || Instagram || LinkedIn || Website

Theme Song: "Broken" by Colin Lillie

This Limited Kintsugi Heroes podcast series was made possible with grant funding from the BUPA Foundation (Australia) through their Community Grants Program. To find out more, head to https://www.bupafoundation.org/.

Welcome to Australian Carers, a Kintsugi Heroes Limited Series where we shine a light on the important Australians who provide voluntary care for someone in need.

Episodes will release every day for Mental Health Week in Australia, beginning on Sunday 13th October 2024.

If you'd like to donate to Kintsugi Heroes, please head to http://kintsugiheroes.com.au/donate and follow the instructions.

To listen to our other shows, follow the links and select your preferred listening platform.