This episode takes you through a powerful journey of identity, culture, and personal transformation — unfolding across study, lived experience, and reflection.

We begin with a search for direction, where academic curiosity leads to a deeper focus on cultural psychology and emotional regulation. What starts as research soon becomes something more personal — a mirror into identity, heritage, and the complexity of living between cultures.

As the conversation develops, it reveals how emotional understanding is not always natural or immediate. There is a tension between feeling and recognising emotions, shaped by upbringing, cultural expectations, and lived experiences. This is further explored through frameworks such as Confucianism, which offer context for behaviours, values, and ways of relating.

Alongside academic growth comes self-doubt, pressure, and the challenge of balancing study, work, and life. Yet within that pressure, there is also transformation — a gradual shift in confidence, awareness, and self-understanding.

The conversation then moves into deeper, more personal territory. It explores the immigrant experience — the unspoken expectations to succeed, the early responsibilities taken on as a child, and the weight of carrying both family sacrifice and personal ambition. These experiences lead to burnout, emotional strain, and moments of breaking, but also to seeking help and beginning the healing process.

There is a turning point in how the past is understood. Through conversations with parents, a new perspective forms — one that recognises both pain and growth. Change is seen not only within oneself, but across generations.

At its core, this episode is about navigating multiple worlds — cultural, emotional, and personal — while slowly shaping an identity that is your own. It is about learning, unlearning, and transforming past experiences into something that can be carried forward with clarity and strength. A journey of becoming — still unfolding.

What does it really mean to grow up as a 1.5 Asian migrant in New Zealand? In this episode of the Authentic Leadership Podcast, Wendy Su shares her deeply personal journey navigating identity, responsibility, and the unspoken pressures many Asian migrants carry but rarely talk about. From the invisible “contract to succeed” that many immigrant children inherit, to taking on adult responsibilities at a young age, Wendy opens up about the hidden realities behind the “model minority” narrative. This is a conversation about sacrifice, burnout, family, love, and the courage to define your own path. We explore: The unspoken pressure to succeed as an immigrant child Growing up between cultures and identities Early responsibility, burnout, and emotional impact Family expectations, sacrifice, and healing Setting boundaries while still holding love Redefining success on your own terms This episode speaks to anyone who has ever felt the weight of expectation, navigated cultural identity, or tried to honour both family and self at once.

Shelwin flips the script and interviews Ivan, the creator of the Authentic Leadership Podcast, drawing out the life story behind the voice. Ivan shares his origins (born in Singapore, raised in Malaysia, later moving to New Zealand at 28) and the pressure of growing up gay in a culture where homosexuality is criminalised. He describes an unstable childhood shaped by his father’s hidden criminal life, frequent moving, fear, and periods of being left alone while his mother worked tirelessly to keep the family afloat. Arriving in New Zealand becomes a turning point: Ivan encounters an open gay community for the first time, studies social science, and begins confronting internalised shame, loneliness, depression, and heavy drinking—until survival forces a change. He then steps into pioneering peer support work in Auckland, helping define what peer support and recovery can look like, especially across cultures, while advocating for Asian communities in mental health, suicide prevention, and gambling harm spaces. The conversation returns repeatedly to identity: Ivan’s relationship with his mother’s sacrifice, the complicated grief and love around his father, the later decision to forgive, and the surprising reconnection through daily messages and phone calls. Ivan also reflects on burnout—how passion and responsibility can quietly outgrow capacity—and on stepping away from work, which opened a deeper question: “Who is Ivan outside of what he does?” The episode closes in a tender, ongoing chapter: letting go of old structures, reclaiming creativity, and moving toward a freer, more aligned life.

Tricia reflects on how life rarely unfolds as expected, tracing the “threads” that shaped her—from a childhood marked by international moves and early awareness of injustice, to teaching and youth work, to a faith grounded less in institutions and more in values of honesty, inclusion, and walking alongside others. Her life pivots in 1996 when her husband, Michael—a grounded, artistic Baptist minister known for caring for people in crisis—dies by suicide at 38. Tricia describes the shock, the public scrutiny, and her immediate decision to meet suicide without shame. She reframes Michael’s death as an attempt to escape unbearable pain rather than selfishness, insisting on language and understanding that preserve dignity. Driven by love for her children and a need to “bring the monster down to size,” she learns everything she can about suicide, grief, trauma, and mental health, later channelling that into practical education and resources. She volunteers with Skylight, identifies gaps in support materials, begins writing what doesn’t exist, and contributes to early government resources for people bereaved by suicide—while pushing back against formal, distancing language that makes grief feel clinical instead of human. As years pass, she remarries, continues honouring Michael naturally within family life, and speaks to grief as a lifelong “patchwork”: messy on the back, meaningful and colored on the front. She shares how grief and joy can coexist—through grandchildren, anniversaries, ordinary errands—and how small, sincere gestures (lavender picked from her own garden, a butcher’s “you will be okay,” anonymous cash in a letterbox) can become lifelines. Now, Tricia works in supervision and support for frontline helpers (often non-clinical), where suicide and stress frequently surface. Her core message remains consistent: simplify what’s complex without losing truth; use language people can actually hear; make room for colour inside the black; and keep asking, like her TARDIS metaphor, “Where am I, what time is it, and what is it time for now?”

In this heartfelt conversation, Michael—community theatre veteran and current president of The Centrestage Theatre—shares how performing helped him move from a shy, bullied teenager into a lifelong creative force. From his first productions in Hamilton to choreographing, directing, producing, and mentoring new talent, Michael reveals what theatre really demands: discipline, teamwork, chemistry, and heart. He discusses the influence of mentors, the superstitions of the stage, the emotional power of shows like Rent, and the deep personal connection between art, grief, and legacy. Along the way, he highlights why community theatre matters so much: it’s a place where people find confidence, belonging, and the courage to be fully themselves. The episode wraps with honest reflections on leadership, sacrifice, passion, and the unforgettable (often hilarious) moments that only live theatre can create.

This episode of the Authentic Leadership Podcast features a long-form, deeply human conversation with Shelwin Khan, exploring mental health, addiction, recovery, and the meaning of lived experience across cultures, systems, and life stages.

The conversation traces Shelwin’s life journey from early exposure to substances in adolescence, repeated encounters with clinical and justice systems, and years of addiction and mental health challenges, through to recovery shaped primarily by peer support, human connection, and witnessing what is possible through others.

Rather than presenting recovery as a linear success story, the dialogue honours its complexity: ongoing mental health challenges, grief and loss, psychosis during sobriety, identity struggles, and moments of profound hope and meaning. The episode also explores how recovery unfolds across different environments—urban and rural New Zealand, international contexts, cultural expectations, and non-clinical spaces such as creativity, travel, community, and nature.

At its core, this episode is about how people learn to live, not just survive—outside rigid clinical narratives—and how hope is often carried person to person, rather than through systems alone.

In this opening segment of the Authentic Leadership Podcast, Lisa shares a raw and deeply human turning point: depression, a major shoulder injury and infection, and a spiritual awakening that collided with the collapse of her business identity.

While recovering and navigating chronic pain and hospitalisation, Lisa was also doing a guided Kundalini awakening with daily 30-minute meditations—originally focused on “flowing” business, health, and life. But the deeper the practice went, the more it exposed what wasn’t aligned. What began as personal development and performance quickly shifted into something more confronting: sobriety, surrender, and the decision to choose healing over hustle.

Lisa reflects on building a salon business as an identity—systems, leadership training, big expansion plans—then reaching a moment of truth: “Screw the business, I want to get better.” From there, the conversation opens into letting go, grief, attachments, ADHD and identity, the wave-like nature of awakening (dark night, void, return), and what it means to live from purpose rather than ego.

The episode also touches on the twin flame journey as a catalyst for awakening—intense longing, mirroring, emotional integration, and learning the difference between love and attachment to outcomes. Together, we explore discernment, embodiment, and how authentic leadership can emerge when life forces you to let go of what you thought you were.

In this episode of the Authentic Leadership Podcast, Ivan welcomes Eva Chen MNZM back for a deeply personal conversation that shifts from public leadership to the often unseen leadership work of parenting. As an Asian/Taiwanese 1.5-generation mother raising four New Zealand–born children aged 11 to 20, Eva reflects on what it means to raise kids across cultures, systems, and expectations. Together, Ivan and Eva unpack the cultural contrasts surrounding pregnancy and birth—ranging from traditional Chinese beliefs around food and postpartum practices to New Zealand’s more relaxed medical approach—and how these differences can leave migrant mothers navigating confusion, judgment, and self-doubt. Eva shares candid stories about childbirth, premature birth, confinement traditions, and the emotional and spiritual need to advocate for cultural needs within systems that may not automatically recognise them.

The conversation also shines a light on the invisible load of motherhood: chronic exhaustion, sleep deprivation, breastfeeding pressure, grief, guilt, and the mental toll that often goes unseen. Eva speaks openly about unequal parenting labour, the lingering effects of patriarchy, and how mothers’ wellbeing is frequently compromised in silence.

As the discussion moves into education and childhood, Eva recounts painful experiences of school bullying, racism, and institutional inaction—and how change only came once she learned how to navigate power, policy, and media. These moments highlight the reality many migrant families face: being unheard unless they know how to “play the system.”

The episode also explores differences between boys and girls, emotional safety, school avoidance, and the critical role of teachers who are willing to adapt and truly see the child in front of them. One particularly moving moment centres on Eva’s son proudly celebrating a 52% maths result—not as a failure but as a success—opening up a powerful reflection on raising confident children who value effort, growth, and self-worth over perfection. At its heart, this episode reminds us that authentic leadership begins at home: in advocacy, emotional regulation, cultural translation, and the quiet, relentless work of protecting children’s wellbeing in systems that don’t always understand them.

This video captures an intimate and deeply honest conversation between Ivan and Chris, tracing an unexpected journey from the lived experience of trauma and survival to a lifelong commitment to suicide prevention, postvention, and education.

Chris reflects on growing up in a working-class family, discovering art as his first language for processing trauma, and how creativity became a lifeline long before he had words for what he had endured. What began as a path toward fine art gradually transformed into a vocation in education—one he never planned, but one that found him through recognition of his ability to connect, teach, and care.

Throughout the conversation, Chris explores how lived experience shaped his work as a university lecturer and researcher, particularly in the areas of adolescent suicide, grief, male survivors of trauma, and men’s mental health. He speaks candidly about stoicism, anger, silence, and survival—challenging common assumptions about masculinity and help-seeking, and questioning whether current systems truly meet the needs of vulnerable men.

Ivan weaves his own experiences into the dialogue, creating a space where personal vulnerability and social critique coexist. Together, they examine why talk-based therapy is not always the answer, how presence and companionship can be healing, and why research must lead to real-world change rather than remain trapped in theory.

The video ultimately calls for a more humane, gender-responsive, and culturally grounded approach to mental health and suicide support—one that honours lived experience, offers genuine choice, and recognises that healing often begins simply by not suffering alone.

This is a conversation about survival, truth-telling, and a heart that never gave up.

Dr Alexander Stevens II joins Ivan on the Authentic Leadership Podcast for a powerful conversation that begins with a heartfelt celebration of his PhD achievement and the story behind his full name, then unfolds into a deeply human journey of purpose, identity, and service.

Alexander shares how growing up around domestic violence, mental health challenges, and later experiencing firsthand exposure to sexual violence disclosures shaped the path he chose, and why he committed his life to supporting others through trauma, addiction, and recovery. He speaks candidly about navigating racism and bias in Aotearoa, why Māori often have to work “three to four times harder,” and how dignity, mana, and strategic restraint can be a form of strength.

A major focus is his PhD in sexual violence recovery and the gap he saw for men—especially Māori and other diverse communities—who disclose abuse but don’t know where to go for support. This led to the creation of StandingTallNZ (standingtallnz.org), a resource designed to meet people with safety, clarity, and cultural understanding, without triggering them. Alexander also explains the battle of doing kaupapa Māori work within Western academic systems and why preserving people’s authentic voices matters, even when institutions push back.

The episode closes with warmth, humour, and reflection: what Alexander would tell his younger self, what he wants Māori to remember in difficult times, and a grounding serenity prayer offered as a closing karakia.